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Way of All Flesh, The
CHAPTER XLII
Samuel Butler
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       _ About a week before he went back to school his father again sent for
       him into the dining-room, and told him that he should restore him
       his watch, but that he should deduct the sum he had paid for it--for
       he had thought it better to pay a few shillings rather than dispute
       the ownership of the watch, seeing that Ernest had undoubtedly given
       it to Ellen--from his pocket money, in payments which should extend
       over two half years. He would therefore have to go back to
       Roughborough this half year with only five shillings' pocket money.
       If he wanted more he must earn more merit money.
       Ernest was not so careful about money as a pattern boy should be.
       He did not say to himself, "Now I have got a sovereign which must
       last me fifteen weeks, therefore I may spend exactly one shilling
       and fourpence in each week"--and spend exactly one and fourpence in
       each week accordingly. He ran through his money at about the same
       rate as other boys did, being pretty well cleaned out a few days
       after he had got back to school. When he had no more money, he got
       a little into debt, and when as far in debt as he could see his way
       to repaying, he went without luxuries. Immediately he got any money
       he would pay his debts; if there was any over he would spend it; if
       there was not--and there seldom was--he would begin to go on tick
       again.
       His finance was always based upon the supposition that he should go
       back to school with 1 pounds in his pocket--of which he owed say a
       matter of fifteen shillings. There would be five shillings for
       sundry school subscriptions--but when these were paid the weekly
       allowance of sixpence given to each boy in hall, his merit money
       (which this half he was resolved should come to a good sum) and
       renewed credit, would carry him through the half.
       The sudden failure of 15/- was disastrous to my hero's scheme of
       finance. His face betrayed his emotions so clearly that Theobald
       said he was determined "to learn the truth at once, and THIS TIME
       without days and days of falsehood" before he reached it. The
       melancholy fact was not long in coming out, namely, that the
       wretched Ernest added debt to the vices of idleness, falsehood and
       possibly--for it was not impossible--immorality.
       How had he come to get into debt? Did the other boys do so? Ernest
       reluctantly admitted that they did.
       With what shops did they get into debt?
       This was asking too much, Ernest said he didn't know!
       "Oh, Ernest, Ernest," exclaimed his mother, who was in the room, "do
       not so soon a second time presume upon the forbearance of the
       tenderest-hearted father in the world. Give time for one stab to
       heal before you wound him with another."
       This was all very fine, but what was Ernest to do? How could he get
       the school shopkeepers into trouble by owning that they let some of
       the boys go on tick with them? There was Mrs Cross, a good old
       soul, who used to sell hot rolls and butter for breakfast, or eggs
       and toast, or it might be the quarter of a fowl with bread sauce and
       mashed potatoes for which she would charge 6d. If she made a
       farthing out of the sixpence it was as much as she did. When the
       boys would come trooping into her shop after "the hounds" how often
       had not Ernest heard her say to her servant girls, "Now then, you
       wanches, git some cheers." All the boys were fond of her, and was
       he, Ernest, to tell tales about her? It was horrible.
       "Now look here, Ernest," said his father with his blackest scowl, "I
       am going to put a stop to this nonsense once for all. Either take
       me fully into your confidence, as a son should take a father, and
       trust me to deal with this matter as a clergyman and a man of the
       world--or understand distinctly that I shall take the whole story to
       Dr Skinner, who, I imagine, will take much sterner measures than I
       should."
       "Oh, Ernest, Ernest," sobbed Christina, "be wise in time, and trust
       those who have already shown you that they know but too well how to
       be forbearing."
       No genuine hero of romance should have hesitated for a moment.
       Nothing should have cajoled or frightened him into telling tales out
       of school. Ernest thought of his ideal boys: they, he well knew,
       would have let their tongues be cut out of them before information
       could have been wrung from any word of theirs. But Ernest was not
       an ideal boy, and he was not strong enough for his surroundings; I
       doubt how far any boy could withstand the moral pressure which was
       brought to bear upon him; at any rate he could not do so, and after
       a little more writhing he yielded himself a passive prey to the
       enemy. He consoled himself with the reflection that his papa had
       not played the confidence trick on him quite as often as his mamma
       had, and that probably it was better he should tell his father, than
       that his father should insist on Dr Skinner's making an inquiry.
       His papa's conscience "jabbered" a good deal, but not as much as his
       mamma's. The little fool forgot that he had not given his father as
       many chances of betraying him as he had given to Christina.
       Then it all came out. He owed this at Mrs Cross's, and this to Mrs
       Jones, and this at the "Swan and Bottle" public house, to say
       nothing of another shilling or sixpence or two in other quarters.
       Nevertheless, Theobald and Christina were not satiated, but rather
       the more they discovered the greater grew their appetite for
       discovery; it was their obvious duty to find out everything, for
       though they might rescue their own darling from this hotbed of
       iniquity without getting to know more than they knew at present,
       were there not other papas and mammas with darlings whom also they
       were bound to rescue if it were yet possible? What boys, then, owed
       money to these harpies as well as Ernest?
       Here, again, there was a feeble show of resistance, but the
       thumbscrews were instantly applied, and Ernest, demoralised as he
       already was, recanted and submitted himself to the powers that were.
       He told only a little less than he knew or thought he knew. He was
       examined, re-examined, cross-examined, sent to the retirement of his
       own bedroom and cross-examined again; the smoking in Mrs Jones'
       kitchen all came out; which boys smoked and which did not; which
       boys owed money and, roughly, how much and where; which boys swore
       and used bad language. Theobald was resolved that this time Ernest
       should, as he called it, take him into his confidence without
       reserve, so the school list which went with Dr Skinner's half-yearly
       bills was brought out, and the most secret character of each boy was
       gone through seriatim by Mr and Mrs Pontifex, so far as it was in
       Ernest's power to give information concerning it, and yet Theobald
       had on the preceding Sunday preached a less feeble sermon than he
       commonly preached, upon the horrors of the Inquisition. No matter
       how awful was the depravity revealed to them, the pair never
       flinched, but probed and probed, till they were on the point of
       reaching subjects more delicate than they had yet touched upon.
       Here Ernest's unconscious self took the matter up and made a
       resistance to which his conscious self was unequal, by tumbling him
       off his chair in a fit of fainting.
       Dr Martin was sent for and pronounced the boy to be seriously
       unwell; at the same time he prescribed absolute rest and absence
       from nervous excitement. So the anxious parents were unwillingly
       compelled to be content with what they had got already--being
       frightened into leading him a quiet life for the short remainder of
       the holidays. They were not idle, but Satan can find as much
       mischief for busy hands as for idle ones, so he sent a little job in
       the direction of Battersby which Theobald and Christina undertook
       immediately. It would be a pity, they reasoned, that Ernest should
       leave Roughborough, now that he had been there three years; it would
       be difficult to find another school for him, and to explain why he
       had left Roughborough. Besides, Dr Skinner and Theobald were
       supposed to be old friends, and it would be unpleasant to offend
       him; these were all valid reasons for not removing the boy. The
       proper thing to do, then, would be to warn Dr Skinner confidentially
       of the state of his school, and to furnish him with a school list
       annotated with the remarks extracted from Ernest, which should be
       appended to the name of each boy.
       Theobald was the perfection of neatness; while his son was ill
       upstairs, he copied out the school list so that he could throw his
       comments into a tabular form, which assumed the following shape--
       only that of course I have changed the names. One cross in each
       square was to indicate occasional offence; two stood for frequent,
       and three for habitual delinquency.
       __________Smoking_____Drinking_beer____Swearing______Notes
       ______________________at_the_"Swan_____and_Obscene
       ______________________and_Bottle."_____Language.
       Smith________O____________O______________XX__________Will_smoke
       _____________________________________________________next_half
       Brown_______XXX___________O_______________X
       Jones________X____________XX______________XXX
       Robinson____XX____________XX______________X
       And thus through the whole school.
       Of course, in justice to Ernest, Dr Skinner would be bound over to
       secrecy before a word was said to him, but, Ernest being thus
       protected, he could not be furnished with the facts too completely. _