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Way of All Flesh, The
CHAPTER XXXII
Samuel Butler
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       _ I must now return to Miss Alethea Pontifex, of whom I have said
       perhaps too little hitherto, considering how great her influence
       upon my hero's destiny proved to be.
       On the death of her father, which happened when she was about
       thirty-two years old, she parted company with her sisters, between
       whom and herself there had been little sympathy, and came up to
       London. She was determined, so she said, to make the rest of her
       life as happy as she could, and she had clearer ideas about the best
       way of setting to work to do this than women, or indeed men,
       generally have.
       Her fortune consisted, as I have said, of 5000 pounds, which had
       come to her by her mother's marriage settlements, and 15,000 pounds
       left her by her father, over both which sums she had now absolute
       control. These brought her in about 900 pounds a year, and the
       money being invested in none but the soundest securities, she had no
       anxiety about her income. She meant to be rich, so she formed a
       scheme of expenditure which involved an annual outlay of about 500
       pounds, and determined to put the rest by. "If I do this," she said
       laughingly, "I shall probably just succeed in living comfortably
       within my income." In accordance with this scheme she took
       unfurnished apartments in a house in Gower Street, of which the
       lower floors were let out as offices. John Pontifex tried to get
       her to take a house to herself, but Alethea told him to mind his own
       business so plainly that he had to beat a retreat. She had never
       liked him, and from that time dropped him almost entirely.
       Without going much into society she yet became acquainted with most
       of the men and women who had attained a position in the literary,
       artistic and scientific worlds, and it was singular how highly her
       opinion was valued in spite of her never having attempted in any way
       to distinguish herself. She could have written if she had chosen,
       but she enjoyed seeing others write and encouraging them better than
       taking a more active part herself. Perhaps literary people liked
       her all the better because she did not write.
       I, as she very well knew, had always been devoted to her, and she
       might have had a score of other admirers if she had liked, but she
       had discouraged them all, and railed at matrimony as women seldom do
       unless they have a comfortable income of their own. She by no
       means, however, railed at man as she railed at matrimony, and though
       living after a fashion in which even the most censorious could find
       nothing to complain of, as far as she properly could she defended
       those of her own sex whom the world condemned most severely.
       In religion she was, I should think, as nearly a free-thinker as
       anyone could be whose mind seldom turned upon the subject. She went
       to church, but disliked equally those who aired either religion or
       irreligion. I remember once hearing her press a late well-known
       philosopher to write a novel instead of pursuing his attacks upon
       religion. The philosopher did not much like this, and dilated upon
       the importance of showing people the folly of much that they
       pretended to believe. She smiled and said demurely, "Have they not
       Moses and the prophets? Let them hear them." But she would say a
       wicked thing quietly on her own account sometimes, and called my
       attention once to a note in her prayer-book which gave account of
       the walk to Emmaus with the two disciples, and how Christ had said
       to them "O fools and slow of heart to believe ALL that the prophets
       have spoken"--the "all" being printed in small capitals.
       Though scarcely on terms with her brother John, she had kept up
       closer relations with Theobald and his family, and had paid a few
       days' visit to Battersby once in every two years or so. Alethea had
       always tried to like Theobald and join forces with him as much as
       she could (for they two were the hares of the family, the rest being
       all hounds), but it was no use. I believe her chief reason for
       maintaining relations with her brother was that she might keep an
       eye on his children and give them a lift if they proved nice.
       When Miss Pontifex had come down to Battersby in old times the
       children had not been beaten, and their lessons had been made
       lighter. She easily saw that they were overworked and unhappy, but
       she could hardly guess how all-reaching was the regime under which
       they lived. She knew she could not interfere effectually then, and
       wisely forbore to make too many enquiries. Her time, if ever it was
       to come, would be when the children were no longer living under the
       same roof as their parents. It ended in her making up her mind to
       have nothing to do with either Joey or Charlotte, but to see so much
       of Ernest as should enable her to form an opinion about his
       disposition and abilities.
       He had now been a year and a half at Roughborough and was nearly
       fourteen years old, so that his character had begun to shape. His
       aunt had not seen him for some little time and, thinking that if she
       was to exploit him she could do so now perhaps better than at any
       other time, she resolved to go down to Roughborough on some pretext
       which should be good enough for Theobald, and to take stock of her
       nephew under circumstances in which she could get him for some few
       hours to herself. Accordingly in August 1849, when Ernest was just
       entering on his fourth half year a cab drove up to Dr Skinner's door
       with Miss Pontifex, who asked and obtained leave for Ernest to come
       and dine with her at the Swan Hotel. She had written to Ernest to
       say she was coming and he was of course on the look-out for her. He
       had not seen her for so long that he was rather shy at first, but
       her good nature soon set him at his ease. She was so strongly
       biassed in favour of anything young that her heart warmed towards
       him at once, though his appearance was less prepossessing than she
       had hoped. She took him to a cake shop and gave him whatever he
       liked as soon as she had got him off the school premises; and Ernest
       felt at once that she contrasted favourably even with his aunts the
       Misses Allaby, who were so very sweet and good. The Misses Allaby
       were very poor; sixpence was to them what five shillings was to
       Alethea. What chance had they against one who, if she had a mind,
       could put by out of her income twice as much as they, poor women,
       could spend?
       The boy had plenty of prattle in him when he was not snubbed, and
       Alethea encouraged him to chatter about whatever came uppermost. He
       was always ready to trust anyone who was kind to him; it took many
       years to make him reasonably wary in this respect--if indeed, as I
       sometimes doubt, he ever will be as wary as he ought to be--and in a
       short time he had quite dissociated his aunt from his papa and mamma
       and the rest, with whom his instinct told him he should be on his
       guard. Little did he know how great, as far as he was concerned,
       were the issues that depended upon his behaviour. If he had known,
       he would perhaps have played his part less successfully.
       His aunt drew from him more details of his home and school life than
       his papa and mamma would have approved of, but he had no idea that
       he was being pumped. She got out of him all about the happy Sunday
       evenings, and how he and Joey and Charlotte quarrelled sometimes,
       but she took no side and treated everything as though it were a
       matter of course. Like all the boys, he could mimic Dr Skinner, and
       when warmed with dinner, and two glasses of sherry which made him
       nearly tipsy, he favoured his aunt with samples of the Doctor's
       manner and spoke of him familiarly as "Sam."
       "Sam," he said, "is an awful old humbug." It was the sherry that
       brought out this piece of swagger, for whatever else he was Dr
       Skinner was a reality to Master Ernest, before which, indeed, he
       sank into his boots in no time. Alethea smiled and said, "I must
       not say anything to that, must I?" Ernest said, "I suppose not,"
       and was checked. By-and-by he vented a number of small second-hand
       priggishnesses which he had caught up believing them to be the
       correct thing, and made it plain that even at that early age Ernest
       believed in Ernest with a belief which was amusing from its
       absurdity. His aunt judged him charitably as she was sure to do;
       she knew very well where the priggishness came from, and seeing that
       the string of his tongue had been loosened sufficiently gave him no
       more sherry.
       It was after dinner, however, that he completed the conquest of his
       aunt. She then discovered that, like herself, he was passionately
       fond of music, and that, too, of the highest class. He knew, and
       hummed or whistled to her all sorts of pieces out of the works of
       the great masters, which a boy of his age could hardly be expected
       to know, and it was evident that this was purely instinctive,
       inasmuch as music received no kind of encouragement at Roughborough.
       There was no boy in the school as fond of music as he was. He
       picked up his knowledge, he said, from the organist of St Michael's
       Church who used to practise sometimes on a week-day afternoon.
       Ernest had heard the organ booming away as he was passing outside
       the church and had sneaked inside and up into the organ loft. In
       the course of time the organist became accustomed to him as a
       familiar visitant, and the pair became friends.
       It was this which decided Alethea that the boy was worth taking
       pains with. "He likes the best music," she thought, "and he hates
       Dr Skinner. This is a very fair beginning." When she sent him away
       at night with a sovereign in his pocket (and he had only hoped to
       get five shillings) she felt as though she had had a good deal more
       than her money's worth for her money. _