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Way of All Flesh, The
CHAPTER XXXV
Samuel Butler
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       _ All went well for the first part of the following half year. Miss
       Pontifex spent the greater part of her holidays in London, and I
       also saw her at Roughborough, where I spent a few days, staying at
       the "Swan." I heard all about my godson in whom, however, I took
       less interest than I said I did. I took more interest in the stage
       at that time than in anything else, and as for Ernest, I found him a
       nuisance for engrossing so much of his aunt's attention, and taking
       her so much from London. The organ was begun, and made fair
       progress during the first two months of the half year. Ernest was
       happier than he had ever been before, and was struggling upwards.
       The best boys took more notice of him for his aunt's sake, and he
       consorted less with those who led him into mischief.
       But much as Miss Pontifex had done, she could not all at once undo
       the effect of such surroundings as the boy had had at Battersby.
       Much as he feared and disliked his father (though he still knew not
       how much this was), he had caught much from him; if Theobald had
       been kinder Ernest would have modelled himself upon him entirely,
       and ere long would probably have become as thorough a little prig as
       could have easily been found.
       Fortunately his temper had come to him from his mother, who, when
       not frightened, and when there was nothing on the horizon which
       might cross the slightest whim of her husband, was an amiable, good-
       natured woman. If it was not such an awful thing to say of anyone,
       I should say that she meant well.
       Ernest had also inherited his mother's love of building castles in
       the air, and--so I suppose it must be called--her vanity. He was
       very fond of showing off, and, provided he could attract attention,
       cared little from whom it came, nor what it was for. He caught up,
       parrot-like, whatever jargon he heard from his elders, which he
       thought was the correct thing, and aired it in season and out of
       season, as though it were his own.
       Miss Pontifex was old enough and wise enough to know that this is
       the way in which even the greatest men as a general rule begin to
       develop, and was more pleased with his receptiveness and
       reproductiveness than alarmed at the things he caught and
       reproduced.
       She saw that he was much attached to herself, and trusted to this
       rather than to anything else. She saw also that his conceit was not
       very profound, and that his fits of self-abasement were as extreme
       as his exaltation had been. His impulsiveness and sanguine
       trustfulness in anyone who smiled pleasantly at him, or indeed was
       not absolutely unkind to him, made her more anxious about him than
       any other point in his character; she saw clearly that he would have
       to find himself rudely undeceived many a time and oft, before he
       would learn to distinguish friend from foe within reasonable time.
       It was her perception of this which led her to take the action which
       she was so soon called upon to take.
       Her health was for the most part excellent, and she had never had a
       serious illness in her life. One morning, however, soon after
       Easter 1850, she awoke feeling seriously unwell. For some little
       time there had been a talk of fever in the neighbourhood, but in
       those days the precautions that ought to be taken against the spread
       of infection were not so well understood as now, and nobody did
       anything. In a day or two it became plain that Miss Pontifex had
       got an attack of typhoid fever and was dangerously ill. On this she
       sent off a messenger to town, and desired him not to return without
       her lawyer and myself.
       We arrived on the afternoon of the day on which we had been
       summoned, and found her still free from delirium: indeed, the
       cheery way in which she received us made it difficult to think she
       could be in danger. She at once explained her wishes, which had
       reference, as I expected, to her nephew, and repeated the substance
       of what I have already referred to as her main source of uneasiness
       concerning him. Then she begged me by our long and close intimacy,
       by the suddenness of the danger that had fallen on her and her
       powerlessness to avert it, to undertake what she said she well knew,
       if she died, would be an unpleasant and invidious trust.
       She wanted to leave the bulk of her money ostensibly to me, but in
       reality to her nephew, so that I should hold it in trust for him
       till he was twenty-eight years old, but neither he nor anyone else,
       except her lawyer and myself, was to know anything about it. She
       would leave 5000 pounds in other legacies, and 15,000 pounds to
       Ernest--which by the time he was twenty-eight would have accumulated
       to, say, 30,000 pounds. "Sell out the debentures," she said, "where
       the money now is--and put it into Midland Ordinary."
       "Let him make his mistakes," she said, "upon the money his
       grandfather left him. I am no prophet, but even I can see that it
       will take that boy many years to see things as his neighbours see
       them. He will get no help from his father and mother, who would
       never forgive him for his good luck if I left him the money
       outright; I daresay I am wrong, but I think he will have to lose the
       greater part or all of what he has, before he will know how to keep
       what he will get from me."
       Supposing he went bankrupt before he was twenty-eight years old, the
       money was to be mine absolutely, but she could trust me, she said,
       to hand it over to Ernest in due time.
       "If," she continued, "I am mistaken, the worst that can happen is
       that he will come into a larger sum at twenty-eight instead of a
       smaller sum at, say, twenty-three, for I would never trust him with
       it earlier, and--if he knows nothing about it he will not be unhappy
       for the want of it."
       She begged me to take 2000 pounds in return for the trouble I should
       have in taking charge of the boy's estate, and as a sign of the
       testatrix's hope that I would now and again look after him while he
       was still young. The remaining 3000 pounds I was to pay in legacies
       and annuities to friends and servants.
       In vain both her lawyer and myself remonstrated with her on the
       unusual and hazardous nature of this arrangement. We told her that
       sensible people will not take a more sanguine view concerning human
       nature than the Courts of Chancery do. We said, in fact, everything
       that anyone else would say. She admitted everything, but urged that
       her time was short, that nothing would induce her to leave her money
       to her nephew in the usual way. "It is an unusually foolish will,"
       she said, "but he is an unusually foolish boy;" and she smiled quite
       merrily at her little sally. Like all the rest of her family, she
       was very stubborn when her mind was made up. So the thing was done
       as she wished it.
       No provision was made for either my death or Ernest's--Miss Pontifex
       had settled it that we were neither of us going to die, and was too
       ill to go into details; she was so anxious, moreover, to sign her
       will while still able to do so that we had practically no
       alternative but to do as she told us. If she recovered we could see
       things put on a more satisfactory footing, and further discussion
       would evidently impair her chances of recovery; it seemed then only
       too likely that it was a case of this will or no will at all.
       When the will was signed I wrote a letter in duplicate, saying that
       I held all Miss Pontifex had left me in trust for Ernest except as
       regards 5000 pounds, but that he was not to come into the bequest,
       and was to know nothing whatever about it directly or indirectly,
       till he was twenty-eight years old, and if he was bankrupt before he
       came into it the money was to be mine absolutely. At the foot of
       each letter Miss Pontifex wrote, "The above was my understanding
       when I made my will," and then signed her name. The solicitor and
       his clerk witnessed; I kept one copy myself and handed the other to
       Miss Pontifex's solicitor.
       When all this had been done she became more easy in her mind. She
       talked principally about her nephew. "Don't scold him," she said,
       "if he is volatile, and continually takes things up only to throw
       them down again. How can he find out his strength or weakness
       otherwise? A man's profession," she said, and here she gave one of
       her wicked little laughs, "is not like his wife, which he must take
       once for all, for better for worse, without proof beforehand. Let
       him go here and there, and learn his truest liking by finding out
       what, after all, he catches himself turning to most habitually--then
       let him stick to this; but I daresay Ernest will be forty or five
       and forty before he settles down. Then all his previous
       infidelities will work together to him for good if he is the boy I
       hope he is.
       "Above all," she continued, "do not let him work up to his full
       strength, except once or twice in his lifetime; nothing is well done
       nor worth doing unless, take it all round, it has come pretty
       easily. Theobald and Christina would give him a pinch of salt and
       tell him to put it on the tails of the seven deadly virtues;"--here
       she laughed again in her old manner at once so mocking and so sweet-
       -"I think if he likes pancakes he had perhaps better eat them on
       Shrove Tuesday, but this is enough." These were the last coherent
       words she spoke. From that time she grew continually worse, and was
       never free from delirium till her death--which took place less than
       a fortnight afterwards, to the inexpressible grief of those who knew
       and loved her. _