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Pickwick Papers, The
Chapter 56. An important Conference takes place between Mr. Pickwick and Samuel Weller, at which his Parent assists--An old Gentleman in a snuff-coloured Suit arrives unexpectedly
Charles Dickens
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       _ Mr. Pickwick was sitting alone, musing over many things, and thinking
       among other considerations how he could best provide for the young
       couple whose present unsettled condition was matter of constant
       regret and anxiety to him, when Mary stepped lightly into the room,
       and, advancing to the table, said, rather hastily--
       'Oh, if you please, Sir, Samuel is downstairs, and he says may
       his father see you?'
       'Surely,' replied Mr. Pickwick.
       'Thank you, Sir,' said Mary, tripping towards the door again.
       'Sam has not been here long, has he?' inquired Mr. Pickwick.
       'Oh, no, Sir,' replied Mary eagerly. 'He has only just come
       home. He is not going to ask you for any more leave, Sir, he says.'
       Mary might have been conscious that she had communicated
       this last intelligence with more warmth than seemed actually
       necessary, or she might have observed the good-humoured smile
       with which Mr. Pickwick regarded her, when she had finished
       speaking. She certainly held down her head, and examined the
       corner of a very smart little apron, with more closeness than
       there appeared any absolute occasion for.
       'Tell them they can come up at once, by all means,' said
       Mr. Pickwick.
       Mary, apparently much relieved, hurried away with her message.
       Mr. Pickwick took two or three turns up and down the room;
       and, rubbing his chin with his left hand as he did so, appeared
       lost in thought.
       'Well, well,' said Mr. Pickwick, at length in a kind but somewhat
       melancholy tone, 'it is the best way in which I could reward
       him for his attachment and fidelity; let it be so, in Heaven's
       name. It is the fate of a lonely old man, that those about him
       should form new and different attachments and leave him. I have
       no right to expect that it should be otherwise with me. No, no,'
       added Mr. Pickwick more cheerfully, 'it would be selfish and
       ungrateful. I ought to be happy to have an opportunity of
       providing for him so well. I am. Of course I am.'
       Mr. Pickwick had been so absorbed in these reflections, that a
       knock at the door was three or four times repeated before he
       heard it. Hastily seating himself, and calling up his accustomed
       pleasant looks, he gave the required permission, and Sam Weller
       entered, followed by his father.
       'Glad to see you back again, Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick. 'How
       do you do, Mr. Weller?'
       'Wery hearty, thank'ee, sir,' replied the widower; 'hope I see
       you well, sir.'
       'Quite, I thank you,' replied Mr. Pickwick.
       'I wanted to have a little bit o' conwersation with you, sir,' said
       Mr. Weller, 'if you could spare me five minits or so, sir.'
       'Certainly,' replied Mr. Pickwick. 'Sam, give your father a chair.'
       'Thank'ee, Samivel, I've got a cheer here,' said Mr. Weller,
       bringing one forward as he spoke; 'uncommon fine day it's been,
       sir,' added the old gentleman, laying his hat on the floor as he sat
       himself down.
       'Remarkably so, indeed,' replied Mr. Pickwick. 'Very seasonable.'
       'Seasonablest veather I ever see, sir,' rejoined Mr. Weller.
       Here, the old gentleman was seized with a violent fit of coughing,
       which, being terminated, he nodded his head and winked and
       made several supplicatory and threatening gestures to his son, all
       of which Sam Weller steadily abstained from seeing.
       Mr. Pickwick, perceiving that there was some embarrassment
       on the old gentleman's part, affected to be engaged in cutting the
       leaves of a book that lay beside him, and waited patiently until
       Mr. Weller should arrive at the object of his visit.
       'I never see sich a aggrawatin' boy as you are, Samivel,' said
       Mr. Weller, looking indignantly at his son; 'never in all my born days.'
       'What is he doing, Mr. Weller?' inquired Mr. Pickwick.
       'He von't begin, sir,' rejoined Mr. Weller; 'he knows I ain't
       ekal to ex-pressin' myself ven there's anythin' partickler to
       be done, and yet he'll stand and see me a-settin' here taking
       up your walable time, and makin' a reg'lar spectacle o' myself,
       rayther than help me out vith a syllable. It ain't filial conduct,
       Samivel,' said Mr. Weller, wiping his forehead; 'wery far from it.'
       'You said you'd speak,' replied Sam; 'how should I know you
       wos done up at the wery beginnin'?'
       'You might ha' seen I warn't able to start,' rejoined his father;
       'I'm on the wrong side of the road, and backin' into the palin's,
       and all manner of unpleasantness, and yet you von't put out a
       hand to help me. I'm ashamed on you, Samivel.'
       'The fact is, Sir,' said Sam, with a slight bow, 'the gov'nor's
       been a-drawin' his money.'
       'Wery good, Samivel, wery good,' said Mr. Weller, nodding
       his head with a satisfied air, 'I didn't mean to speak harsh to
       you, Sammy. Wery good. That's the vay to begin. Come to the
       pint at once. Wery good indeed, Samivel.'
       Mr. Weller nodded his head an extraordinary number of
       times, in the excess of his gratification, and waited in a listening
       attitude for Sam to resume his statement.
       'You may sit down, Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick, apprehending that
       the interview was likely to prove rather longer than he had expected.
       Sam bowed again and sat down; his father looking round, he
       continued--
       'The gov'nor, sir, has drawn out five hundred and thirty pound.'
       'Reduced counsels,' interposed Mr. Weller, senior, in an undertone.
       'It don't much matter vether it's reduced counsels, or wot not,'
       said Sam; 'five hundred and thirty pounds is the sum, ain't it?'
       'All right, Samivel,' replied Mr. Weller.
       'To vich sum, he has added for the house and bisness--'
       'Lease, good-vill, stock, and fixters,' interposed Mr. Weller.
       'As much as makes it,' continued Sam, 'altogether, eleven
       hundred and eighty pound.'
       'Indeed!' said Mr. Pickwick. 'I am delighted to hear it. I
       congratulate you, Mr. Weller, on having done so well.'
       'Vait a minit, Sir,' said Mr. Weller, raising his hand in a
       deprecatory manner. 'Get on, Samivel.'
       'This here money,' said Sam, with a little hesitation, 'he's
       anxious to put someveres, vere he knows it'll be safe, and I'm
       wery anxious too, for if he keeps it, he'll go a-lendin' it to somebody,
       or inwestin' property in horses, or droppin' his pocket-book
       down an airy, or makin' a Egyptian mummy of his-self in
       some vay or another.'
       'Wery good, Samivel,' observed Mr. Weller, in as complacent
       a manner as if Sam had been passing the highest eulogiums on
       his prudence and foresight. 'Wery good.'
       'For vich reasons,' continued Sam, plucking nervously at the
       brim of his hat--'for vich reasons, he's drawn it out to-day, and
       come here vith me to say, leastvays to offer, or in other vords--'
       'To say this here,' said the elder Mr. Weller impatiently, 'that
       it ain't o' no use to me. I'm a-goin' to vork a coach reg'lar, and
       ha'n't got noveres to keep it in, unless I vos to pay the guard
       for takin' care on it, or to put it in vun o' the coach pockets,
       vich 'ud be a temptation to the insides. If you'll take care on
       it for me, sir, I shall be wery much obliged to you. P'raps,' said
       Mr. Weller, walking up to Mr. Pickwick and whispering in his
       ear--'p'raps it'll go a little vay towards the expenses o' that
       'ere conwiction. All I say is, just you keep it till I ask you for it
       again.' With these words, Mr. Weller placed the pocket-book
       in Mr. Pickwick's hands, caught up his hat, and ran out of the room
       with a celerity scarcely to be expected from so corpulent a subject.
       'Stop him, Sam!' exclaimed Mr. Pickwick earnestly. 'Overtake
       him; bring him back instantly! Mr. Weller--here--come back!'
       Sam saw that his master's injunctions were not to be disobeyed;
       and, catching his father by the arm as he was descending the
       stairs, dragged him back by main force.
       'My good friend,' said Mr. Pickwick, taking the old man by
       the hand, 'your honest confidence overpowers me.'
       'I don't see no occasion for nothin' o' the kind, Sir,' replied
       Mr. Weller obstinately.
       'I assure you, my good friend, I have more money than I can
       ever need; far more than a man at my age can ever live to spend,'
       said Mr. Pickwick.
       'No man knows how much he can spend, till he tries,' observed
       Mr. Weller.
       'Perhaps not,' replied Mr. Pickwick; 'but as I have no intention
       of trying any such experiments, I am not likely to come to want.
       I must beg you to take this back, Mr. Weller.'
       'Wery well,' said Mr. Weller, with a discontented look. 'Mark
       my vords, Sammy, I'll do somethin' desperate vith this here
       property; somethin' desperate!'
       'You'd better not,' replied Sam.
       Mr. Weller reflected for a short time, and then, buttoning up
       his coat with great determination, said--
       'I'll keep a pike.'
       'Wot!' exclaimed Sam.
       'A pike!' rejoined Mr. Weller, through his set teeth; 'I'll keep
       a pike. Say good-bye to your father, Samivel. I dewote the
       remainder of my days to a pike.'
       This threat was such an awful one, and Mr. Weller, besides
       appearing fully resolved to carry it into execution, seemed so
       deeply mortified by Mr. Pickwick's refusal, that that gentleman,
       after a short reflection, said--
       'Well, well, Mr. Weller, I will keep your money. I can do more
       good with it, perhaps, than you can.'
       'Just the wery thing, to be sure,' said Mr. Weller, brightening
       up; 'o' course you can, sir.'
       'Say no more about it,' said Mr. Pickwick, locking the pocket-
       book in his desk; 'I am heartily obliged to you, my good friend.
       Now sit down again. I want to ask your advice.'
       The internal laughter occasioned by the triumphant success of
       his visit, which had convulsed not only Mr. Weller's face, but
       his arms, legs, and body also, during the locking up of the pocket-
       book, suddenly gave place to the most dignified gravity as he
       heard these words.
       'Wait outside a few minutes, Sam, will you?' said Mr. Pickwick.
       Sam immediately withdrew.
       Mr. Weller looked uncommonly wise and very much amazed,
       when Mr. Pickwick opened the discourse by saying--
       'You are not an advocate for matrimony, I think, Mr. Weller?'
       Mr. Weller shook his head. He was wholly unable to speak;
       vague thoughts of some wicked widow having been successful in
       her designs on Mr. Pickwick, choked his utterance.
       'Did you happen to see a young girl downstairs when you came
       in just now with your son?' inquired Mr. Pickwick.
       'Yes. I see a young gal,' replied Mr. Weller shortly.
       'What did you think of her, now? Candidly, Mr. Weller,
       what did you think of her?'
       'I thought she wos wery plump, and vell made,' said Mr.
       Weller, with a critical air.
       'So she is,' said Mr. Pickwick, 'so she is. What did you think
       of her manners, from what you saw of her?'
       'Wery pleasant,' rejoined Mr. Weller. 'Wery pleasant and
       comformable.'
       The precise meaning which Mr. Weller attached to this last-
       mentioned adjective, did not appear; but, as it was evident from
       the tone in which he used it that it was a favourable expression,
       Mr. Pickwick was as well satisfied as if he had been thoroughly
       enlightened on the subject.
       'I take a great interest in her, Mr. Weller,' said Mr. Pickwick.
       Mr. Weller coughed.
       'I mean an interest in her doing well,' resumed Mr. Pickwick;
       'a desire that she may be comfortable and prosperous. You understand?'
       'Wery clearly,' replied Mr. Weller, who understood nothing yet.
       'That young person,' said Mr. Pickwick, 'is attached to your son.'
       'To Samivel Veller!' exclaimed the parent.
       'Yes,' said Mr. Pickwick.
       'It's nat'ral,' said Mr. Weller, after some consideration,
       'nat'ral, but rayther alarmin'. Sammy must be careful.'
       'How do you mean?' inquired Mr. Pickwick.
       'Wery careful that he don't say nothin' to her,' responded
       Mr. Weller. 'Wery careful that he ain't led avay, in a innocent
       moment, to say anythin' as may lead to a conwiction for breach.
       You're never safe vith 'em, Mr. Pickwick, ven they vunce has
       designs on you; there's no knowin' vere to have 'em; and vile
       you're a-considering of it, they have you. I wos married fust, that
       vay myself, Sir, and Sammy wos the consekens o' the manoover.'
       'You give me no great encouragement to conclude what I have
       to say,' observed Mr. Pickwick, 'but I had better do so at once.
       This young person is not only attached to your son, Mr. Weller,
       but your son is attached to her.'
       'Vell,' said Mr. Weller, 'this here's a pretty sort o' thing to
       come to a father's ears, this is!'
       'I have observed them on several occasions,' said Mr. Pickwick,
       making no comment on Mr. Weller's last remark; 'and entertain
       no doubt at all about it. Supposing I were desirous of establishing
       them comfortably as man and wife in some little business or
       situation, where they might hope to obtain a decent living, what
       should you think of it, Mr. Weller?'
       At first, Mr. Weller received with wry faces a proposition
       involving the marriage of anybody in whom he took an interest;
       but, as Mr. Pickwick argued the point with him, and laid great
       stress on the fact that Mary was not a widow, he gradually became
       more tractable. Mr. Pickwick had great influence over him, and
       he had been much struck with Mary's appearance; having, in
       fact, bestowed several very unfatherly winks upon her, already.
       At length he said that it was not for him to oppose Mr. Pickwick's
       inclination, and that he would be very happy to yield to his
       advice; upon which, Mr. Pickwick joyfully took him at his word,
       and called Sam back into the room.
       'Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick, clearing his throat, 'your father and
       I have been having some conversation about you.'
       'About you, Samivel,' said Mr. Weller, in a patronising and
       impressive voice.
       'I am not so blind, Sam, as not to have seen, a long time since,
       that you entertain something more than a friendly feeling
       towards Mrs. Winkle's maid,' said Mr. Pickwick.
       'You hear this, Samivel?' said Mr. Weller, in the same judicial
       form of speech as before.
       'I hope, Sir,' said Sam, addressing his master, 'I hope there's
       no harm in a young man takin' notice of a young 'ooman as is
       undeniably good-looking and well-conducted.'
       'Certainly not,' said Mr. Pickwick.
       'Not by no means,' acquiesced Mr. Weller, affably but magisterially.
       'So far from thinking there is anything wrong in conduct so
       natural,' resumed Mr. Pickwick, 'it is my wish to assist and
       promote your wishes in this respect. With this view, I have had
       a little conversation with your father; and finding that he is of
       my opinion--'
       'The lady not bein' a widder,' interposed Mr. Weller in explanation.
       'The lady not being a widow,' said Mr. Pickwick, smiling. 'I
       wish to free you from the restraint which your present position
       imposes upon you, and to mark my sense of your fidelity and
       many excellent qualities, by enabling you to marry this girl at
       once, and to earn an independent livelihood for yourself and
       family. I shall be proud, Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick, whose voice
       had faltered a little hitherto, but now resumed its customary tone,
       'proud and happy to make your future prospects in life my
       grateful and peculiar care.'
       There was a profound silence for a short time, and then Sam
       said, in a low, husky sort of voice, but firmly withal--
       'I'm very much obliged to you for your goodness, Sir, as is
       only like yourself; but it can't be done.'
       'Can't be done!' ejaculated Mr. Pickwick in astonishment.
       'Samivel!' said Mr. Weller, with dignity.
       'I say it can't be done,' repeated Sam in a louder key. 'Wot's
       to become of you, Sir?'
       'My good fellow,' replied Mr. Pickwick, 'the recent changes
       among my friends will alter my mode of life in future, entirely;
       besides, I am growing older, and want repose and quiet. My
       rambles, Sam, are over.'
       'How do I know that 'ere, sir?' argued Sam. 'You think so
       now! S'pose you wos to change your mind, vich is not unlikely,
       for you've the spirit o' five-and-twenty in you still, what 'ud
       become on you vithout me? It can't be done, Sir, it can't be done.'
       'Wery good, Samivel, there's a good deal in that,' said Mr.
       Weller encouragingly.
       'I speak after long deliberation, Sam, and with the certainty
       that I shall keep my word,' said Mr. Pickwick, shaking his head.
       'New scenes have closed upon me; my rambles are at an end.'
       'Wery good,' rejoined Sam. 'Then, that's the wery best reason
       wy you should alvays have somebody by you as understands you,
       to keep you up and make you comfortable. If you vant a more
       polished sort o' feller, vell and good, have him; but vages or no
       vages, notice or no notice, board or no board, lodgin' or no
       lodgin', Sam Veller, as you took from the old inn in the Borough,
       sticks by you, come what may; and let ev'rythin' and ev'rybody
       do their wery fiercest, nothin' shall ever perwent it!'
       At the close of this declaration, which Sam made with great
       emotion, the elder Mr. Weller rose from his chair, and, forgetting
       all considerations of time, place, or propriety, waved his hat
       above his head, and gave three vehement cheers.
       'My good fellow,' said Mr. Pickwick, when Mr. Weller had
       sat down again, rather abashed at his own enthusiasm, 'you are
       bound to consider the young woman also.'
       'I do consider the young 'ooman, Sir,' said Sam. 'I have
       considered the young 'ooman. I've spoke to her. I've told her
       how I'm sitivated; she's ready to vait till I'm ready, and I believe
       she vill. If she don't, she's not the young 'ooman I take her for,
       and I give her up vith readiness. You've know'd me afore, Sir.
       My mind's made up, and nothin' can ever alter it.'
       Who could combat this resolution? Not Mr. Pickwick. He
       derived, at that moment, more pride and luxury of feeling from
       the disinterested attachment of his humble friends, than ten
       thousand protestations from the greatest men living could have
       awakened in his heart.
       While this conversation was passing in Mr. Pickwick's room,
       a little old gentleman in a suit of snuff-coloured clothes, followed
       by a porter carrying a small portmanteau, presented himself
       below; and, after securing a bed for the night, inquired of the
       waiter whether one Mrs. Winkle was staying there, to which
       question the waiter of course responded in the affirmative.
       'Is she alone?' inquired the old gentleman.
       'I believe she is, Sir,' replied the waiter; 'I can call her own
       maid, Sir, if you--'
       'No, I don't want her,' said the old gentleman quickly. 'Show
       me to her room without announcing me.'
       'Eh, Sir?' said the waiter.
       'Are you deaf?' inquired the little old gentleman.
       'No, sir.'
       'Then listen, if you please. Can you hear me now?'
       'Yes, Sir.'
       'That's well. Show me to Mrs. Winkle's room, without
       announcing me.'
       As the little old gentleman uttered this command, he slipped
       five shillings into the waiter's hand, and looked steadily at him.
       'Really, sir,' said the waiter, 'I don't know, sir, whether--'
       'Ah! you'll do it, I see,' said the little old gentleman. 'You had
       better do it at once. It will save time.'
       There was something so very cool and collected in the gentleman's
       manner, that the waiter put the five shillings in his pocket,
       and led him upstairs without another word.
       'This is the room, is it?' said the gentleman. 'You may go.'
       The waiter complied, wondering much who the gentleman
       could be, and what he wanted; the little old gentleman, waiting
       till he was out of sight, tapped at the door.
       'Come in,' said Arabella.
       'Um, a pretty voice, at any rate,' murmured the little old
       gentleman; 'but that's nothing.' As he said this, he opened the
       door and walked in. Arabella, who was sitting at work, rose on
       beholding a stranger--a little confused--but by no means
       ungracefully so.
       'Pray don't rise, ma'am,' said the unknown, walking in, and
       closing the door after him. 'Mrs. Winkle, I believe?'
       Arabella inclined her head.
       'Mrs. Nathaniel Winkle, who married the son of the old man at
       Birmingham?' said the stranger, eyeing Arabella with visible curiosity.
       Again Arabella inclined her head, and looked uneasily round,
       as if uncertain whether to call for assistance.
       'I surprise you, I see, ma'am,' said the old gentleman.
       'Rather, I confess,' replied Arabella, wondering more and more.
       'I'll take a chair, if you'll allow me, ma'am,' said the stranger.
       He took one; and drawing a spectacle-case from his pocket,
       leisurely pulled out a pair of spectacles, which he adjusted on
       his nose.
       'You don't know me, ma'am?' he said, looking so intently at
       Arabella that she began to feel alarmed.
       'No, sir,' she replied timidly.
       'No,' said the gentleman, nursing his left leg; 'I don't know
       how you should. You know my name, though, ma'am.'
       'Do I?' said Arabella, trembling, though she scarcely knew
       why. 'May I ask what it is?'
       'Presently, ma'am, presently,' said the stranger, not having yet
       removed his eyes from her countenance. 'You have been recently
       married, ma'am?'
       'I have,' replied Arabella, in a scarcely audible tone, laying
       aside her work, and becoming greatly agitated as a thought, that
       had occurred to her before, struck more forcibly upon her mind.
       'Without having represented to your husband the propriety of
       first consulting his father, on whom he is dependent, I think?'
       said the stranger.
       Arabella applied her handkerchief to her eyes.
       'Without an endeavour, even, to ascertain, by some indirect
       appeal, what were the old man's sentiments on a point in which
       he would naturally feel much interested?' said the stranger.
       'I cannot deny it, Sir,' said Arabella.
       'And without having sufficient property of your own to afford
       your husband any permanent assistance in exchange for the
       worldly advantages which you knew he would have gained if he
       had married agreeably to his father's wishes?' said the old gentleman.
       'This is what boys and girls call disinterested affection, till
       they have boys and girls of their own, and then they see it in a
       rougher and very different light!'
       Arabella's tears flowed fast, as she pleaded in extenuation that
       she was young and inexperienced; that her attachment had alone
       induced her to take the step to which she had resorted; and that
       she had been deprived of the counsel and guidance of her parents
       almost from infancy.
       'It was wrong,' said the old gentleman in a milder tone, 'very
       wrong. It was romantic, unbusinesslike, foolish.'
       'It was my fault; all my fault, Sir,' replied poor Arabella, weeping.
       'Nonsense,' said the old gentleman; 'it was not your fault that
       he fell in love with you, I suppose? Yes it was, though,' said the
       old gentleman, looking rather slily at Arabella. 'It was your fault.
       He couldn't help it.'
       This little compliment, or the little gentleman's odd way of
       paying it, or his altered manner--so much kinder than it was, at
       first--or all three together, forced a smile from Arabella in the
       midst of her tears.
       'Where's your husband?' inquired the old gentleman, abruptly;
       stopping a smile which was just coming over his own face.
       'I expect him every instant, sir,' said Arabella. 'I persuaded
       him to take a walk this morning. He is very low and wretched at
       not having heard from his father.'
       'Low, is he?' said the old gentlemen. 'Serve him right!'
       'He feels it on my account, I am afraid,' said Arabella; 'and
       indeed, Sir, I feel it deeply on his. I have been the sole means of
       bringing him to his present condition.'
       'Don't mind it on his account, my dear,' said the old gentleman.
       'It serves him right. I am glad of it--actually glad of it, as
       far as he is concerned.'
       The words were scarcely out of the old gentleman's lips,
       when footsteps were heard ascending the stairs, which he and
       Arabella seemed both to recognise at the same moment. The
       little gentleman turned pale; and, making a strong effort
       to appear composed, stood up, as Mr. Winkle entered the room.
       'Father!' cried Mr. Winkle, recoiling in amazement.
       'Yes, sir,' replied the little old gentleman. 'Well, Sir, what have
       you got to say to me?'
       Mr. Winkle remained silent.
       'You are ashamed of yourself, I hope, Sir?' said the old gentleman.
       Still Mr. Winkle said nothing.
       'Are you ashamed of yourself, Sir, or are you not?' inquired the
       old gentleman.
       'No, Sir,' replied Mr. Winkle, drawing Arabella's arm through
       his. 'I am not ashamed of myself, or of my wife either.'
       'Upon my word!' cried the old gentleman ironically.
       'I am very sorry to have done anything which has lessened your
       affection for me, Sir,' said Mr. Winkle; 'but I will say, at the same
       time, that I have no reason to be ashamed of having this lady for
       my wife, nor you of having her for a daughter.'
       'Give me your hand, Nat,' said the old gentleman, in an
       altered voice. 'Kiss me, my love. You are a very charming little
       daughter-in-law after all!'
       In a few minutes' time Mr. Winkle went in search of Mr.
       Pickwick, and returning with that gentleman, presented him to
       his father, whereupon they shook hands for five minutes incessantly.
       'Mr. Pickwick, I thank you most heartily for all your kindness
       to my son,' said old Mr. Winkle, in a bluff, straightforward way.
       'I am a hasty fellow, and when I saw you last, I was vexed and
       taken by surprise. I have judged for myself now, and am more
       than satisfied. Shall I make any more apologies, Mr. Pickwick?'
       'Not one,' replied that gentleman. 'You have done the only
       thing wanting to complete my happiness.'
       Hereupon there was another shaking of hands for five minutes
       longer, accompanied by a great number of complimentary
       speeches, which, besides being complimentary, had the additional
       and very novel recommendation of being sincere.
       Sam had dutifully seen his father to the Belle Sauvage, when,
       on returning, he encountered the fat boy in the court, who had
       been charged with the delivery of a note from Emily Wardle.
       'I say,' said Joe, who was unusually loquacious, 'what a pretty
       girl Mary is, isn't she? I am SO fond of her, I am!'
       Mr. Weller made no verbal remark in reply; but eyeing the fat
       boy for a moment, quite transfixed at his presumption, led him
       by the collar to the corner, and dismissed him with a harmless
       but ceremonious kick. After which, he walked home, whistling. _
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Chapter 1. The Pickwickians
Chapter 2. The first Day's Journey, and the first Evening's Adventures; with their Consequences
Chapter 3. A new Acquaintance--The Stroller's Tale--A disagreeable Interruption, and an unpleasant Encounter
Chapter 4. A Field Day and Bivouac--More new Friends--An Invitation to the Country
Chapter 5. A short one--Showing, among other Matters, how Mr. Pickwick undertook to drive, and Mr. Winkle to ride, and how they both did it
Chapter 6. An old-fashioned Card-party--The Clergyman's verses--The Story of the Convict's Return
Chapter 7. How Mr. Winkle, instead of shooting at the Pigeon and killing the Crow, shot at the Crow and wounded the Pigeon; how Dingley Dell Cricket Club played All-Muggleton, and how All-Muggleton dined at the Dingley Dell Expense
Chapter 8. Strongly illustrative of the Position, that the Course of True Love is not a Railway
Chapter 9. A Discovery and a Chase
Chapter 10. Clearing up all Doubts (if any existed) of the Disinterestedness of Mr. A. Jingle's Character
Chapter 11. Involving another Journey, and an Antiquarian Discovery; Recording Mr. Pickwick's Determination to be present at an Election; and containing a Manuscript of the old Clergyman's
Chapter 12. Descriptive of a very important Proceeding on the Part of Mr. Pickwick; no less an Epoch in his Life, than in this History
Chapter 13. Some Account of Eatanswill; of the State of Parties therein; and of the Election of a Member to serve in Parliament for that ancient, loyal, and patriotic Borough
Chapter 14. Comprising a brief Description of the Company at the Peacock assembled; and a Tale told by a Bagman
Chapter 15. In which is given a faithful Portraiture of two distinguished Persons; and an accurate Description of a public Breakfast in their House: which public Breakfast leads to the Recognition of an old Acquaintance
Chapter 16. Too full of Adventure to be briefly described
Chapter 17. Showing that an Attack of Rheumatism, in some Cases, acts as a Quickener to inventive Genius
Chapter 18. Briefly illustrative of two Points; first, the Power of Hysterics, and, secondly, the Force of Circumstances
Chapter 19. A pleasant Day with an unpleasant Termination
Chapter 20. Showing how Dodson and Fogg were Men of Business, their Clerks Men of pleasure;how an affecting Interview between Mr. Weller and his long-lost Parent; what Choice Spirits assembled at the Magpie and Stump
Chapter 21. In which the old Man launches forth into his favourite Theme, and relates a Story about a queer Client
Chapter 22. Mr. Pickwick journeys to Ipswich and meets with a romantic Adventure with a middle-aged Lady in yellow Curl-papers
Chapter 23. In which Mr. Samuel Weller begins to devote his Energies to the Return Match between himself and Mr. Trotter
Chapter 24. Wherein Mr. Peter Magnus grows jealous, and the middle-aged Lady apprehensive, which brings the Pickwickians within the Grasp of the Law
Chapter 25. Showing, among a Variety of pleasant Matters, how majestic and impartial Mr. Nupkins was; and how Mr. Weller returned Mr. Job Trotter's Shuttlecock as heavily as it came--With another Matter, which will be found in its Place
Chapter 26. Which contains a brief Account of the Progress of the Action of Bardell against Pickwick
Chapter 27. Samuel Weller makes a Pilgrimage to Dorking, and beholds his Mother-in-law
Chapter 28. A good-humoured Christmas (Pickwick Papers)
Chapter 29. The Story of the Goblins who stole a Sexton
Chapter 30. How the Pickwickians made and cultivated the Acquaintance of a Couple of nice young Men belonging to one of the liberal Professions; how they disported themselves on the Ice; and how their Visit came to a Conclusion
Chapter 31. Which is all about the Law, and sundry Great Authorities learned therein
Chapter 32. Describes, far more fully than the Court Newsman ever did, a Bachelor's Party, given by Mr. Bob Sawyer at his Lodgings in the Borough
Chapter 33. Mr. Weller the elder delivers some Critical Sentiments respecting Literary Composition; and, assisted by his Son Samuel, pays a small Instalment of Retaliation to the Account of the Reverend Gentleman with the Red Nose
Chapter 34. Is wholly devoted to a full and faithful Report of the memorable Trial of Bardell against Pickwick
Chapter 35. In which Mr. Pickwick thinks he had better go to Bath; and goes accordingly
Chapter 36. The chief Features of which will be found to be an authentic Version of the Legend of Prince Bladud, and a most extraordinary Calamity that befell Mr. Winkle
Chapter 37. Honourably accounts for Mr. Weller's Absence, by describing a Soiree to which he was invited and went; also relates how he was intrusted by Mr. Pickwick with a Private Mission of Delicacy and Importance
Chapter 38. How Mr. Winkle, when he stepped out of the Frying-pan, walked gently and comfortably into the Fire
Chapter 39. Mr. Samuel Weller, being intrusted with a Mission of Love, proceeds to execute it; with what Success will hereinafter appear
Chapter 40. Introduces Mr. Pickwick to a new and not uninteresting Scene in the great Drama of Life
Chapter 41. Whatt befell Mr. Pickwick when he got into the Fleet; what Prisoners he saw there; and how he passed the Night
Chapter 42. Illustrative, like the preceding one, of the old Proverb, that Adversity brings a Man acquainted with strange Bedfellows--Likewise containing Mr. Pickwick's extraordinary and startling Announcement to Mr. Samuel Weller
Chapter 43. Showing how Mr. Samuel Weller got into Difficulties
Chapter 44. Treats of divers little Matters which occurred in the Fleet, and of Mr. Winkle's mysterious Behaviour; and shows how the poor Chancery Prisoner obtained his Release at last
Chapter 45. Descriptive of an affecting Interview between Mr. Samuel Weller and a Family Party. Mr. Pickwick makes a Tour of the diminutive World he inhabits, and resolves to mix with it, in Future, as little as possible
Chapter 46. Records a touching Act of delicate Feeling not unmixed with Pleasantry, achieved and performed by Messrs. Dodson and Fogg
Chapter 47. Is chiefly devoted to Matters of Business, and the temporal Advantage of Dodson and Fogg-- Mr. Winkle reappears under extraordinary Circumstances--Mr. Pickwick's Benevolence proves stronger than his Obstinacy
Chapter 48. Relates how Mr. Pickwick, with the Assistance of Samuel Weller, essayed to soften the Heart of Mr. Benjamin Allen, and to mollify the Wrath of Mr. Robert Sawyer
Chapter 49. Containing the Story of the Bagman's Uncle
Chapter 50. How Mr. Pickwick sped upon his Mission, and how he was reinforced in the Outset by a most unexpected Auxiliary
Chapter 51. In which Mr. Pickwick encounters an old Acquaintance--To which fortunate Circumstance the Reader is mainly indebted for Matter of thrilling Interest herein set down, concerning two great Public Men of Might and Power
Chapter 52. Involving a serious Change in the Weller Family, and the untimely Downfall of Mr. Stiggins
Chapter 53. Comprising the final Exit of Mr. Jingle and Job Trotter, with a great Morning of business in Gray's Inn Square--Concluding with a Double Knock at Mr. Perker's Door
Chapter 54. Containing some Particulars relative to the Double Knock, and other Matters: among which certain interesting Disclosures relative to Mr. Snodgrass and a Young Lady are by no Means irrelevant to this History
Chapter 55. Mr. Solomon Pell, assisted by a Select Committee of Coachmen, arranges the affairs of the elder Mr. Weller
Chapter 56. An important Conference takes place between Mr. Pickwick and Samuel Weller, at which his Parent assists--An old Gentleman in a snuff-coloured Suit arrives unexpectedly
Chapter 57. In which the Pickwick Club is finally dissolved, and everything concluded to the Satisfaction of Everybody