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Pickwick Papers, The
Chapter 53. Comprising the final Exit of Mr. Jingle and Job Trotter, with a great Morning of business in Gray's Inn Square--Concluding with a Double Knock at Mr. Perker's Door
Charles Dickens
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       _ When Arabella, after some gentle preparation and many assurances
       that there was not the least occasion for being low-spirited, was
       at length made acquainted by Mr. Pickwick with the unsatisfactory
       result of his visit to Birmingham, she burst into tears, and
       sobbing aloud, lamented in moving terms that she should have been
       the unhappy cause of any estrangement between a father and his son.
       'My dear girl,' said Mr. Pickwick kindly, 'it is no fault of
       yours. It was impossible to foresee that the old gentleman would
       be so strongly prepossessed against his son's marriage, you know.
       I am sure,' added Mr. Pickwick, glancing at her pretty face, 'he
       can have very little idea of the pleasure he denies himself.'
       'Oh, my dear Mr. Pickwick,' said Arabella, 'what shall we do,
       if he continues to be angry with us?'
       'Why, wait patiently, my dear, until he thinks better of it,'
       replied Mr. Pickwick cheerfully.
       'But, dear Mr. Pickwick, what is to become of Nathaniel if his
       father withdraws his assistance?' urged Arabella.
       'In that case, my love,' rejoined Mr. Pickwick, 'I will venture
       to prophesy that he will find some other friend who will not be
       backward in helping him to start in the world.'
       The significance of this reply was not so well disguised by
       Mr. Pickwick but that Arabella understood it. So, throwing her
       arms round his neck, and kissing him affectionately, she sobbed
       louder than before.
       'Come, come,' said Mr. Pickwick taking her hand, 'we will
       wait here a few days longer, and see whether he writes or takes
       any other notice of your husband's communication. If not, I
       have thought of half a dozen plans, any one of which would
       make you happy at once. There, my dear, there!'
       With these words, Mr. Pickwick gently pressed Arabella's
       hand, and bade her dry her eyes, and not distress her husband.
       Upon which, Arabella, who was one of the best little creatures
       alive, put her handkerchief in her reticule, and by the time
       Mr. Winkle joined them, exhibited in full lustre the same
       beaming smiles and sparkling eyes that had originally captivated him.
       'This is a distressing predicament for these young people,'
       thought Mr. Pickwick, as he dressed himself next morning. 'I'll
       walk up to Perker's, and consult him about the matter.'
       As Mr. Pickwick was further prompted to betake himself to
       Gray's Inn Square by an anxious desire to come to a pecuniary
       settlement with the kind-hearted little attorney without further
       delay, he made a hurried breakfast, and executed his intention
       so speedily, that ten o'clock had not struck when he reached
       Gray's Inn.
       It still wanted ten minutes to the hour when he had ascended
       the staircase on which Perker's chambers were. The clerks had
       not arrived yet, and he beguiled the time by looking out of the
       staircase window.
       The healthy light of a fine October morning made even the
       dingy old houses brighten up a little; some of the dusty windows
       actually looking almost cheerful as the sun's rays gleamed upon
       them. Clerk after clerk hastened into the square by one or other
       of the entrances, and looking up at the Hall clock, accelerated
       or decreased his rate of walking according to the time at which
       his office hours nominally commenced; the half-past nine
       o'clock people suddenly becoming very brisk, and the ten
       o'clock gentlemen falling into a pace of most aristocratic slowness.
       The clock struck ten, and clerks poured in faster than ever,
       each one in a greater perspiration than his predecessor. The
       noise of unlocking and opening doors echoed and re-echoed on
       every side; heads appeared as if by magic in every window; the
       porters took up their stations for the day; the slipshod laundresses
       hurried off; the postman ran from house to house; and
       the whole legal hive was in a bustle.
       'You're early, Mr. Pickwick,' said a voice behind him.
       'Ah, Mr. Lowten,' replied that gentleman, looking round, and
       recognising his old acquaintance.
       'Precious warm walking, isn't it?' said Lowten, drawing a
       Bramah key from his pocket, with a small plug therein, to keep
       the dust out.
       'You appear to feel it so,' rejoined Mr. Pickwick, smiling at
       the clerk, who was literally red-hot.
       'I've come along, rather, I can tell you,' replied Lowten. 'It
       went the half hour as I came through the Polygon. I'm here
       before him, though, so I don't mind.'
       Comforting himself with this reflection, Mr. Lowten extracted
       the plug from the door-key; having opened the door, replugged
       and repocketed his Bramah, and picked up the letters which the
       postman had dropped through the box, he ushered Mr. Pickwick
       into the office. Here, in the twinkling of an eye, he divested
       himself of his coat, put on a threadbare garment, which he took
       out of a desk, hung up his hat, pulled forth a few sheets of
       cartridge and blotting-paper in alternate layers, and, sticking a
       pen behind his ear, rubbed his hands with an air of great satisfaction.
       'There, you see, Mr. Pickwick,' he said, 'now I'm complete.
       I've got my office coat on, and my pad out, and let him come as
       soon as he likes. You haven't got a pinch of snuff about you,
       have you?'
       'No, I have not,' replied Mr. Pickwick.
       'I'm sorry for it,' said Lowten. 'Never mind. I'll run out
       presently, and get a bottle of soda. Don't I look rather queer
       about the eyes, Mr. Pickwick?'
       The individual appealed to, surveyed Mr. Lowten's eyes from
       a distance, and expressed his opinion that no unusual queerness
       was perceptible in those features.
       'I'm glad of it,' said Lowten. 'We were keeping it up pretty
       tolerably at the Stump last night, and I'm rather out of sorts this
       morning. Perker's been about that business of yours, by the bye.'
       'What business?' inquired Mr. Pickwick. 'Mrs. Bardell's costs?'
       'No, I don't mean that,' replied Mr. Lowten. 'About getting
       that customer that we paid the ten shillings in the pound to the
       bill-discounter for, on your account--to get him out of the
       Fleet, you know--about getting him to Demerara.'
       'Oh, Mr. Jingle,' said Mr. Pickwick hastily. 'Yes. Well?'
       'Well, it's all arranged,' said Lowten, mending his pen. 'The
       agent at Liverpool said he had been obliged to you many times
       when you were in business, and he would be glad to take him on
       your recommendation.'
       'That's well,' said Mr. Pickwick. 'I am delighted to hear it.'
       'But I say,' resumed Lowten, scraping the back of the pen
       preparatory to making a fresh split, 'what a soft chap that other is!'
       'Which other?'
       'Why, that servant, or friend, or whatever he is; you know, Trotter.'
       'Ah!' said Mr. Pickwick, with a smile. 'I always thought him
       the reverse.'
       'Well, and so did I, from what little I saw of him,' replied
       Lowten, 'it only shows how one may be deceived. What do you
       think of his going to Demerara, too?'
       'What! And giving up what was offered him here!' exclaimed
       Mr. Pickwick.
       'Treating Perker's offer of eighteen bob a week, and a rise if
       he behaved himself, like dirt,' replied Lowten. 'He said he must
       go along with the other one, and so they persuaded Perker to
       write again, and they've got him something on the same estate;
       not near so good, Perker says, as a convict would get in New
       South Wales, if he appeared at his trial in a new suit of clothes.'
       'Foolish fellow,' said Mr. Pickwick, with glistening eyes.
       'Foolish fellow.'
       'Oh, it's worse than foolish; it's downright sneaking, you
       know,' replied Lowten, nibbing the pen with a contemptuous
       face. 'He says that he's the only friend he ever had, and he's
       attached to him, and all that. Friendship's a very good thing in
       its way--we are all very friendly and comfortable at the Stump,
       for instance, over our grog, where every man pays for himself;
       but damn hurting yourself for anybody else, you know! No man
       should have more than two attachments--the first, to number
       one, and the second to the ladies; that's what I say--ha! ha!'
       Mr. Lowten concluded with a loud laugh, half in jocularity, and
       half in derision, which was prematurely cut short by the sound
       of Perker's footsteps on the stairs, at the first approach of which,
       he vaulted on his stool with an agility most remarkable, and
       wrote intensely.
       The greeting between Mr. Pickwick and his professional
       adviser was warm and cordial; the client was scarcely ensconced
       in the attorney's arm-chair, however, when a knock was heard at
       the door, and a voice inquired whether Mr. Perker was within.
       'Hark!' said Perker, 'that's one of our vagabond friends--
       Jingle himself, my dear Sir. Will you see him?'
       'What do you think?' inquired Mr. Pickwick, hesitating.
       'Yes, I think you had better. Here, you Sir, what's your name,
       walk in, will you?'
       In compliance with this unceremonious invitation, Jingle and
       Job walked into the room, but, seeing Mr. Pickwick, stopped
       short in some confusion.
       'Well,' said Perker, 'don't you know that gentleman?'
       'Good reason to,' replied Mr. Jingle, stepping forward. 'Mr.
       Pickwick--deepest obligations--life preserver--made a man of
       me--you shall never repent it, Sir.'
       'I am happy to hear you say so,' said Mr. Pickwick. 'You look
       much better.'
       'Thanks to you, sir--great change--Majesty's Fleet--unwholesome
       place--very,' said Jingle, shaking his head. He was
       decently and cleanly dressed, and so was Job, who stood bolt
       upright behind him, staring at Mr. Pickwick with a visage of iron.
       'When do they go to Liverpool?' inquired Mr. Pickwick, half
       aside to Perker.
       'This evening, Sir, at seven o'clock,' said Job, taking one step
       forward. 'By the heavy coach from the city, Sir.'
       'Are your places taken?'
       'They are, sir,' replied Job.
       'You have fully made up your mind to go?'
       'I have sir,' answered Job.
       'With regard to such an outfit as was indispensable for Jingle,'
       said Perker, addressing Mr. Pickwick aloud. 'I have taken upon
       myself to make an arrangement for the deduction of a small sum
       from his quarterly salary, which, being made only for one year,
       and regularly remitted, will provide for that expense. I entirely
       disapprove of your doing anything for him, my dear sir, which
       is not dependent on his own exertions and good conduct.'
       'Certainly,' interposed Jingle, with great firmness. 'Clear head
       --man of the world--quite right--perfectly.'
       'By compounding with his creditor, releasing his clothes from
       the pawnbroker's, relieving him in prison, and paying for his
       passage,' continued Perker, without noticing Jingle's observation,
       'you have already lost upwards of fifty pounds.'
       'Not lost,' said Jingle hastily, 'Pay it all--stick to business--
       cash up--every farthing. Yellow fever, perhaps--can't help that
       --if not--' Here Mr. Jingle paused, and striking the crown of
       his hat with great violence, passed his hand over his eyes, and
       sat down.
       'He means to say,' said Job, advancing a few paces, 'that if he
       is not carried off by the fever, he will pay the money back again.
       If he lives, he will, Mr. Pickwick. I will see it done. I know he
       will, Sir,' said Job, with energy. 'I could undertake to swear it.'
       'Well, well,' said Mr. Pickwick, who had been bestowing a
       score or two of frowns upon Perker, to stop his summary of
       benefits conferred, which the little attorney obstinately
       disregarded, 'you must be careful not to play any more desperate
       cricket matches, Mr. Jingle, or to renew your acquaintance with
       Sir Thomas Blazo, and I have little doubt of your preserving
       your health.'
       Mr. Jingle smiled at this sally, but looked rather foolish
       notwithstanding; so Mr. Pickwick changed the subject by saying--
       'You don't happen to know, do you, what has become of
       another friend of yours--a more humble one, whom I saw at Rochester?'
       'Dismal Jemmy?' inquired Jingle.
       'Yes.'
       Jingle shook his head.
       'Clever rascal--queer fellow, hoaxing genius--Job's brother.'
       'Job's brother!' exclaimed Mr. Pickwick. 'Well, now I look at
       him closely, there IS a likeness.'
       'We were always considered like each other, Sir,' said Job,
       with a cunning look just lurking in the corners of his eyes, 'only
       I was really of a serious nature, and he never was. He emigrated
       to America, Sir, in consequence of being too much sought after
       here, to be comfortable; and has never been heard of since.'
       'That accounts for my not having received the "page from the
       romance of real life," which he promised me one morning when
       he appeared to be contemplating suicide on Rochester Bridge,
       I suppose,' said Mr. Pickwick, smiling. 'I need not inquire
       whether his dismal behaviour was natural or assumed.'
       'He could assume anything, Sir,' said Job. 'You may consider
       yourself very fortunate in having escaped him so easily. On
       intimate terms he would have been even a more dangerous
       acquaintance than--' Job looked at Jingle, hesitated, and
       finally added, 'than--than-myself even.'
       'A hopeful family yours, Mr. Trotter,' said Perker, sealing a
       letter which he had just finished writing.
       'Yes, Sir,' replied Job. 'Very much so.'
       'Well,' said the little man, laughing, 'I hope you are going to
       disgrace it. Deliver this letter to the agent when you reach
       Liverpool, and let me advise you, gentlemen, not to be too
       knowing in the West Indies. If you throw away this chance, you
       will both richly deserve to be hanged, as I sincerely trust you
       will be. And now you had better leave Mr. Pickwick and me
       alone, for we have other matters to talk over, and time is
       precious.' As Perker said this, he looked towards the door, with
       an evident desire to render the leave-taking as brief as possible.
       It was brief enough on Mr. Jingle's part. He thanked the little
       attorney in a few hurried words for the kindness and promptitude
       with which he had rendered his assistance, and, turning to his
       benefactor, stood for a few seconds as if irresolute what to say
       or how to act. Job Trotter relieved his perplexity; for, with a
       humble and grateful bow to Mr. Pickwick, he took his friend
       gently by the arm, and led him away.
       'A worthy couple!' said Perker, as the door closed behind them.
       'I hope they may become so,' replied Mr. Pickwick. 'What do
       you think? Is there any chance of their permanent reformation?'
       Perker shrugged his shoulders doubtfully, but observing Mr.
       Pickwick's anxious and disappointed look, rejoined--
       'Of course there is a chance. I hope it may prove a good one.
       They are unquestionably penitent now; but then, you know, they
       have the recollection of very recent suffering fresh upon them.
       What they may become, when that fades away, is a problem that
       neither you nor I can solve. However, my dear Sir,' added Perker,
       laying his hand on Mr. Pickwick's shoulder, 'your object is
       equally honourable, whatever the result is. Whether that species
       of benevolence which is so very cautious and long-sighted that
       it is seldom exercised at all, lest its owner should be imposed
       upon, and so wounded in his self-love, be real charity or a
       worldly counterfeit, I leave to wiser heads than mine to determine.
       But if those two fellows were to commit a burglary to-morrow,
       my opinion of this action would be equally high.'
       With these remarks, which were delivered in a much more
       animated and earnest manner than is usual in legal gentlemen,
       Perker drew his chair to his desk, and listened to Mr. Pickwick's
       recital of old Mr. Winkle's obstinacy.
       'Give him a week,' said Perker, nodding his head prophetically.
       'Do you think he will come round?' inquired Mr. Pickwick.
       'I think he will,' rejoined Perker. 'If not, we must try the
       young lady's persuasion; and that is what anybody but you
       would have done at first.'
       Mr. Perker was taking a pinch of snuff with various grotesque
       contractions of countenance, eulogistic of the persuasive powers
       appertaining unto young ladies, when the murmur of inquiry
       and answer was heard in the outer office, and Lowten tapped at
       the door.
       'Come in!' cried the little man.
       The clerk came in, and shut the door after him, with great mystery.
       'What's the matter?' inquired Perker.
       'You're wanted, Sir.'
       'Who wants me?'
       Lowten looked at Mr. Pickwick, and coughed.
       'Who wants me? Can't you speak, Mr. Lowten?'
       'Why, sir,' replied Lowten, 'it's Dodson; and Fogg is with him.'
       'Bless my life!' said the little man, looking at his watch, 'I
       appointed them to be here at half-past eleven, to settle that
       matter of yours, Pickwick. I gave them an undertaking on which
       they sent down your discharge; it's very awkward, my dear
       Sir; what will you do? Would you like to step into the next room?'
       The next room being the identical room in which Messrs.
       Dodson & Fogg were, Mr. Pickwick replied that he would
       remain where he was: the more especially as Messrs. Dodson &
       Fogg ought to be ashamed to look him in the face, instead of his
       being ashamed to see them. Which latter circumstance he begged
       Mr. Perker to note, with a glowing countenance and many marks
       of indignation.
       'Very well, my dear Sir, very well,' replied Perker, 'I can only
       say that if you expect either Dodson or Fogg to exhibit any
       symptom of shame or confusion at having to look you, or
       anybody else, in the face, you are the most sanguine man in your
       expectations that I ever met with. Show them in, Mr. Lowten.'
       Mr. Lowten disappeared with a grin, and immediately returned
       ushering in the firm, in due form of precedence--Dodson first,
       and Fogg afterwards.
       'You have seen Mr. Pickwick, I believe?' said Perker to
       Dodson, inclining his pen in the direction where that gentleman
       was seated.
       'How do you do, Mr. Pickwick?' said Dodson, in a loud voice.
       'Dear me,'cried Fogg, 'how do you do, Mr. Pickwick? I hope
       you are well, Sir. I thought I knew the face,' said Fogg, drawing
       up a chair, and looking round him with a smile.
       Mr. Pickwick bent his head very slightly, in answer to these
       salutations, and, seeing Fogg pull a bundle of papers from his
       coat pocket, rose and walked to the window.
       'There's no occasion for Mr. Pickwick to move, Mr. Perker,'
       said Fogg, untying the red tape which encircled the little bundle,
       and smiling again more sweetly than before. 'Mr. Pickwick is
       pretty well acquainted with these proceedings. There are no
       secrets between us, I think. He! he! he!'
       'Not many, I think,' said Dodson. 'Ha! ha! ha!' Then both
       the partners laughed together--pleasantly and cheerfully, as men
       who are going to receive money often do.
       'We shall make Mr. Pickwick pay for peeping,' said Fogg, with
       considerable native humour, as he unfolded his papers. 'The
       amount of the taxed costs is one hundred and thirty-three, six,
       four, Mr. Perker.'
       There was a great comparing of papers, and turning over of
       leaves, by Fogg and Perker, after this statement of profit and
       loss. Meanwhile, Dodson said, in an affable manner, to Mr.
       Pickwick--
       'I don't think you are looking quite so stout as when I had the
       pleasure of seeing you last, Mr. Pickwick.'
       'Possibly not, Sir,' replied Mr. Pickwick, who had been
       flashing forth looks of fierce indignation, without producing the
       smallest effect on either of the sharp practitioners; 'I believe I am
       not, Sir. I have been persecuted and annoyed by scoundrels of
       late, Sir.'
       Perker coughed violently, and asked Mr. Pickwick whether he
       wouldn't like to look at the morning paper. To which inquiry
       Mr. Pickwick returned a most decided negative.
       'True,' said Dodson, 'I dare say you have been annoyed in the
       Fleet; there are some odd gentry there. Whereabouts were your
       apartments, Mr. Pickwick?'
       'My one room,' replied that much-injured gentleman, 'was on
       the coffee-room flight.'
       'Oh, indeed!' said Dodson. 'I believe that is a very pleasant
       part of the establishment.'
       'Very,'replied Mr. Pickwick drily.
       There was a coolness about all this, which, to a gentleman of
       an excitable temperament, had, under the circumstances, rather
       an exasperating tendency. Mr. Pickwick restrained his wrath by
       gigantic efforts; but when Perker wrote a cheque for the whole
       amount, and Fogg deposited it in a small pocket-book, with a
       triumphant smile playing over his pimply features, which
       communicated itself likewise to the stern countenance of Dodson,
       he felt the blood in his cheeks tingling with indignation.
       'Now, Mr. Dodson,' said Fogg, putting up the pocket-book
       and drawing on his gloves, 'I am at your service.'
       'Very good,' said Dodson, rising; 'I am quite ready.'
       'I am very happy,' said Fogg, softened by the cheque, 'to have
       had the pleasure of making Mr. Pickwick's acquaintance. I hope
       you don't think quite so ill of us, Mr. Pickwick, as when we first
       had the pleasure of seeing you.'
       'I hope not,' said Dodson, with the high tone of calumniated
       virtue. 'Mr. Pickwick now knows us better, I trust; whatever
       your opinion of gentlemen of our profession may be, I beg to
       assure you, sir, that I bear no ill-will or vindictive feeling towards
       you for the sentiments you thought proper to express in our
       office in Freeman's Court, Cornhill, on the occasion to which
       my partner has referred.'
       'Oh, no, no; nor I,' said Fogg, in a most forgiving manner.
       'Our conduct, Sir,' said Dodson, 'will speak for itself, and
       justify itself, I hope, upon every occasion. We have been in the
       profession some years, Mr. Pickwick, and have been honoured
       with the confidence of many excellent clients. I wish you good-
       morning, Sir.'
       'Good-morning, Mr. Pickwick,' said Fogg. So saying, he put his
       umbrella under his arm, drew off his right glove, and extended
       the hand of reconciliation to that most indignant gentleman;
       who, thereupon, thrust his hands beneath his coat tails, and
       eyed the attorney with looks of scornful amazement.
       'Lowten!' cried Perker, at this moment. 'Open the door.'
       'Wait one instant,' said Mr. Pickwick. 'Perker, I WILL speak.'
       'My dear Sir, pray let the matter rest where it is,' said the little
       attorney, who had been in a state of nervous apprehension during
       the whole interview; 'Mr. Pickwick, I beg--'
       'I will not be put down, Sir,' replied Mr. Pickwick hastily.
       'Mr. Dodson, you have addressed some remarks to me.'
       Dodson turned round, bent his head meekly, and smiled.
       'Some remarks to me,' repeated Mr. Pickwick, almost breathless;
       'and your partner has tendered me his hand, and you have
       both assumed a tone of forgiveness and high-mindedness, which
       is an extent of impudence that I was not prepared for, even in you.'
       'What, sir!' exclaimed Dodson.
       'What, sir!' reiterated Fogg.
       'Do you know that I have been the victim of your plots and
       conspiracies?' continued Mr. Pickwick. 'Do you know that I
       am the man whom you have been imprisoning and robbing?
       Do you know that you were the attorneys for the plaintiff, in
       Bardell and Pickwick?'
       'Yes, sir, we do know it,' replied Dodson.
       'Of course we know it, Sir,' rejoined Fogg, slapping his pocket
       --perhaps by accident.
       'I see that you recollect it with satisfaction,' said Mr. Pickwick,
       attempting to call up a sneer for the first time in his life, and
       failing most signally in so doing. 'Although I have long been
       anxious to tell you, in plain terms, what my opinion of you is, I
       should have let even this opportunity pass, in deference to my
       friend Perker's wishes, but for the unwarrantable tone you have
       assumed, and your insolent familiarity. I say insolent familiarity,
       sir,' said Mr. Pickwick, turning upon Fogg with a fierceness of
       gesture which caused that person to retreat towards the door with
       great expedition.
       'Take care, Sir,' said Dodson, who, though he was the biggest
       man of the party, had prudently entrenched himself behind
       Fogg, and was speaking over his head with a very pale face. 'Let
       him assault you, Mr. Fogg; don't return it on any account.'
       'No, no, I won't return it,' said Fogg, falling back a little
       more as he spoke; to the evident relief of his partner, who by
       these means was gradually getting into the outer office.
       'You are,' continued Mr. Pickwick, resuming the thread of his
       discourse--'you are a well-matched pair of mean, rascally,
       pettifogging robbers.'
       'Well,' interposed Perker, 'is that all?'
       'It is all summed up in that,' rejoined Mr. Pickwick; 'they are
       mean, rascally, pettifogging robbers.'
       'There!' said Perker, in a most conciliatory tone. 'My dear sirs,
       he has said all he has to say. Now pray go. Lowten, is that door
       open?'
       Mr. Lowten, with a distant giggle, replied in the affirmative.
       'There, there--good-morning--good-morning--now pray, my
       dear sirs--Mr. Lowten, the door!' cried the little man, pushing
       Dodson & Fogg, nothing loath, out of the office; 'this way, my
       dear sirs--now pray don't prolong this-- Dear me--Mr.
       Lowten--the door, sir--why don't you attend?'
       'If there's law in England, sir,' said Dodson, looking towards
       Mr. Pickwick, as he put on his hat, 'you shall smart for this.'
       'You are a couple of mean--'
       'Remember, sir, you pay dearly for this,' said Fogg.
       '--Rascally, pettifogging robbers!' continued Mr. Pickwick,
       taking not the least notice of the threats that were addressed to him.
       'Robbers!' cried Mr. Pickwick, running to the stair-head, as
       the two attorneys descended.
       'Robbers!' shouted Mr. Pickwick, breaking from Lowten and
       Perker, and thrusting his head out of the staircase window.
       When Mr. Pickwick drew in his head again, his countenance
       was smiling and placid; and, walking quietly back into the office,
       he declared that he had now removed a great weight from his
       mind, and that he felt perfectly comfortable and happy.
       Perker said nothing at all until he had emptied his snuff-box,
       and sent Lowten out to fill it, when he was seized with a fit of
       laughing, which lasted five minutes; at the expiration of which
       time he said that he supposed he ought to be very angry, but he
       couldn't think of the business seriously yet--when he could, he
       would be.
       'Well, now,' said Mr. Pickwick, 'let me have a settlement with you.'
       'Of the same kind as the last?' inquired Perker, with another laugh.
       'Not exactly,' rejoined Mr. Pickwick, drawing out his pocket-
       book, and shaking the little man heartily by the hand, 'I only
       mean a pecuniary settlement. You have done me many acts of
       kindness that I can never repay, and have no wish to repay, for
       I prefer continuing the obligation.'
       With this preface, the two friends dived into some very complicated
       accounts and vouchers, which, having been duly displayed and
       gone through by Perker, were at once discharged by Mr. Pickwick
       with many professions of esteem and friendship.
       They had no sooner arrived at this point, than a most violent
       and startling knocking was heard at the door; it was not an
       ordinary double-knock, but a constant and uninterrupted
       succession of the loudest single raps, as if the knocker were
       endowed with the perpetual motion, or the person outside had
       forgotten to leave off.
       'Dear me, what's that?' exclaimed Perker, starting.
       'I think it is a knock at the door,' said Mr. Pickwick, as if
       there could be the smallest doubt of the fact.
       The knocker made a more energetic reply than words could
       have yielded, for it continued to hammer with surprising force
       and noise, without a moment's cessation.
       'Dear me!' said Perker, ringing his bell, 'we shall alarm the
       inn. Mr. Lowten, don't you hear a knock?'
       'I'll answer the door in one moment, Sir,' replied the clerk.
       The knocker appeared to hear the response, and to assert that
       it was quite impossible he could wait so long. It made a
       stupendous uproar.
       'It's quite dreadful,' said Mr. Pickwick, stopping his ears.
       'Make haste, Mr. Lowten,' Perker called out; 'we shall have
       the panels beaten in.'
       Mr. Lowten, who was washing his hands in a dark closet,
       hurried to the door, and turning the handle, beheld the appearance
       which is described in the next chapter. _
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Chapter 1. The Pickwickians
Chapter 2. The first Day's Journey, and the first Evening's Adventures; with their Consequences
Chapter 3. A new Acquaintance--The Stroller's Tale--A disagreeable Interruption, and an unpleasant Encounter
Chapter 4. A Field Day and Bivouac--More new Friends--An Invitation to the Country
Chapter 5. A short one--Showing, among other Matters, how Mr. Pickwick undertook to drive, and Mr. Winkle to ride, and how they both did it
Chapter 6. An old-fashioned Card-party--The Clergyman's verses--The Story of the Convict's Return
Chapter 7. How Mr. Winkle, instead of shooting at the Pigeon and killing the Crow, shot at the Crow and wounded the Pigeon; how Dingley Dell Cricket Club played All-Muggleton, and how All-Muggleton dined at the Dingley Dell Expense
Chapter 8. Strongly illustrative of the Position, that the Course of True Love is not a Railway
Chapter 9. A Discovery and a Chase
Chapter 10. Clearing up all Doubts (if any existed) of the Disinterestedness of Mr. A. Jingle's Character
Chapter 11. Involving another Journey, and an Antiquarian Discovery; Recording Mr. Pickwick's Determination to be present at an Election; and containing a Manuscript of the old Clergyman's
Chapter 12. Descriptive of a very important Proceeding on the Part of Mr. Pickwick; no less an Epoch in his Life, than in this History
Chapter 13. Some Account of Eatanswill; of the State of Parties therein; and of the Election of a Member to serve in Parliament for that ancient, loyal, and patriotic Borough
Chapter 14. Comprising a brief Description of the Company at the Peacock assembled; and a Tale told by a Bagman
Chapter 15. In which is given a faithful Portraiture of two distinguished Persons; and an accurate Description of a public Breakfast in their House: which public Breakfast leads to the Recognition of an old Acquaintance
Chapter 16. Too full of Adventure to be briefly described
Chapter 17. Showing that an Attack of Rheumatism, in some Cases, acts as a Quickener to inventive Genius
Chapter 18. Briefly illustrative of two Points; first, the Power of Hysterics, and, secondly, the Force of Circumstances
Chapter 19. A pleasant Day with an unpleasant Termination
Chapter 20. Showing how Dodson and Fogg were Men of Business, their Clerks Men of pleasure;how an affecting Interview between Mr. Weller and his long-lost Parent; what Choice Spirits assembled at the Magpie and Stump
Chapter 21. In which the old Man launches forth into his favourite Theme, and relates a Story about a queer Client
Chapter 22. Mr. Pickwick journeys to Ipswich and meets with a romantic Adventure with a middle-aged Lady in yellow Curl-papers
Chapter 23. In which Mr. Samuel Weller begins to devote his Energies to the Return Match between himself and Mr. Trotter
Chapter 24. Wherein Mr. Peter Magnus grows jealous, and the middle-aged Lady apprehensive, which brings the Pickwickians within the Grasp of the Law
Chapter 25. Showing, among a Variety of pleasant Matters, how majestic and impartial Mr. Nupkins was; and how Mr. Weller returned Mr. Job Trotter's Shuttlecock as heavily as it came--With another Matter, which will be found in its Place
Chapter 26. Which contains a brief Account of the Progress of the Action of Bardell against Pickwick
Chapter 27. Samuel Weller makes a Pilgrimage to Dorking, and beholds his Mother-in-law
Chapter 28. A good-humoured Christmas (Pickwick Papers)
Chapter 29. The Story of the Goblins who stole a Sexton
Chapter 30. How the Pickwickians made and cultivated the Acquaintance of a Couple of nice young Men belonging to one of the liberal Professions; how they disported themselves on the Ice; and how their Visit came to a Conclusion
Chapter 31. Which is all about the Law, and sundry Great Authorities learned therein
Chapter 32. Describes, far more fully than the Court Newsman ever did, a Bachelor's Party, given by Mr. Bob Sawyer at his Lodgings in the Borough
Chapter 33. Mr. Weller the elder delivers some Critical Sentiments respecting Literary Composition; and, assisted by his Son Samuel, pays a small Instalment of Retaliation to the Account of the Reverend Gentleman with the Red Nose
Chapter 34. Is wholly devoted to a full and faithful Report of the memorable Trial of Bardell against Pickwick
Chapter 35. In which Mr. Pickwick thinks he had better go to Bath; and goes accordingly
Chapter 36. The chief Features of which will be found to be an authentic Version of the Legend of Prince Bladud, and a most extraordinary Calamity that befell Mr. Winkle
Chapter 37. Honourably accounts for Mr. Weller's Absence, by describing a Soiree to which he was invited and went; also relates how he was intrusted by Mr. Pickwick with a Private Mission of Delicacy and Importance
Chapter 38. How Mr. Winkle, when he stepped out of the Frying-pan, walked gently and comfortably into the Fire
Chapter 39. Mr. Samuel Weller, being intrusted with a Mission of Love, proceeds to execute it; with what Success will hereinafter appear
Chapter 40. Introduces Mr. Pickwick to a new and not uninteresting Scene in the great Drama of Life
Chapter 41. Whatt befell Mr. Pickwick when he got into the Fleet; what Prisoners he saw there; and how he passed the Night
Chapter 42. Illustrative, like the preceding one, of the old Proverb, that Adversity brings a Man acquainted with strange Bedfellows--Likewise containing Mr. Pickwick's extraordinary and startling Announcement to Mr. Samuel Weller
Chapter 43. Showing how Mr. Samuel Weller got into Difficulties
Chapter 44. Treats of divers little Matters which occurred in the Fleet, and of Mr. Winkle's mysterious Behaviour; and shows how the poor Chancery Prisoner obtained his Release at last
Chapter 45. Descriptive of an affecting Interview between Mr. Samuel Weller and a Family Party. Mr. Pickwick makes a Tour of the diminutive World he inhabits, and resolves to mix with it, in Future, as little as possible
Chapter 46. Records a touching Act of delicate Feeling not unmixed with Pleasantry, achieved and performed by Messrs. Dodson and Fogg
Chapter 47. Is chiefly devoted to Matters of Business, and the temporal Advantage of Dodson and Fogg-- Mr. Winkle reappears under extraordinary Circumstances--Mr. Pickwick's Benevolence proves stronger than his Obstinacy
Chapter 48. Relates how Mr. Pickwick, with the Assistance of Samuel Weller, essayed to soften the Heart of Mr. Benjamin Allen, and to mollify the Wrath of Mr. Robert Sawyer
Chapter 49. Containing the Story of the Bagman's Uncle
Chapter 50. How Mr. Pickwick sped upon his Mission, and how he was reinforced in the Outset by a most unexpected Auxiliary
Chapter 51. In which Mr. Pickwick encounters an old Acquaintance--To which fortunate Circumstance the Reader is mainly indebted for Matter of thrilling Interest herein set down, concerning two great Public Men of Might and Power
Chapter 52. Involving a serious Change in the Weller Family, and the untimely Downfall of Mr. Stiggins
Chapter 53. Comprising the final Exit of Mr. Jingle and Job Trotter, with a great Morning of business in Gray's Inn Square--Concluding with a Double Knock at Mr. Perker's Door
Chapter 54. Containing some Particulars relative to the Double Knock, and other Matters: among which certain interesting Disclosures relative to Mr. Snodgrass and a Young Lady are by no Means irrelevant to this History
Chapter 55. Mr. Solomon Pell, assisted by a Select Committee of Coachmen, arranges the affairs of the elder Mr. Weller
Chapter 56. An important Conference takes place between Mr. Pickwick and Samuel Weller, at which his Parent assists--An old Gentleman in a snuff-coloured Suit arrives unexpectedly
Chapter 57. In which the Pickwick Club is finally dissolved, and everything concluded to the Satisfaction of Everybody