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Quo Vadis
CHAPTER LXVIII
Henryk Sienkiewicz
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       _ NEWS of the miraculous rescue of Lygia was circulated quickly
       among those scattered Christians who had escaped destruction.
       Confessors came to look at her to whom Christ's favor had been
       shown clearly. First came Nazarius and Miriam, with whom Peter
       the Apostle was hiding thus far; after them came others. All, as
       well as Vinicius, Lygia, and the Christian slaves of Petronius,
       listened with attention to the narrative of Ursus about the voice
       which he had heard in his soul, and which commanded him to
       struggle with the wild bull. All went away consoled, hoping that
       Christ would not let His followers be exterminated on earth before
       His coming at the day of judgment. And hope sustained their
       hearts, for persecution had not ceased yet. Whoever was declared a
       Christian by public report was thrown into prison at once by the
       city watches. It is true that the victims were fewer, for the majority
       of confessors had been seized and tortured to death. The Christians
       who remained had either left Rome to wait out the storm in distant
       provinces, or had hidden most carefully, not daring to assemble in
       common prayer, unless in sand-pits outside the city. They were
       persecuted yet, however, and though the games were at an end, the
       newly arrested were reserved for future games or punished
       specially. Though it was believed in Rome no longer that
       Christians had caused the conflagration, they were declared
       enemies of humanity and the State, and the edict against them
       remained in former force.
       The Apostle Peter did not venture for a long time to appear in the
       house of Petronius, but at last on a certain evening Nazarius
       announced his arrival. Lygia, who was able to walk alone now, and
       Vinicius ran out to meet him, and fell to embracing his feet. He
       greeted them with emotion all the greater that not many sheep in
       that flock over which Christ had given him authority, and over the
       fate of which his great heart was weeping, remained to him. So
       when Vinicius said, "Lord, because of thee the Redeemer returned
       her to me," he answered: "He returned her because of thy faith, and
       so that not all the lips which profess His name should grow silent."
       And evidently he was thinking then of those thousands of his
       children torn by wild beasts, of those crosses with which the arena
       had been filled, and those fiery pillars in the gardens of the
       "Beast"; for he spoke with great sadness. Vinicius and Lygia
       noticed also that his hair had grown entirely white, that his whole
       form was bent, and that in his face there was as much sadness and
       suffering as if he had passed through all those pains and torments
       which the victims of Nero's rage and madness had endured. But
       both understood that since Christ had given Himself to torture and
       to death, no one was permitted to avoid it. Still their hearts were
       cut at sight of the Apostle, bent by years, toil, and pain. So
       Vinicius, who intended to take Lygia soon to Naples, where they
       would meet Pomponia and go to Sicily, implored him to leave
       Rome in their company.
       But the Apostle placed his hand on the tribune's head and
       answered, --
       "In my soul I hear these words of the Lord, which He spoke to me
       on the Lake of Tiberias: 'When thou wert young, thou didst gird
       thyself, and walk whither thou wouldst; but when thou shalt he
       old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee,
       and carry thee whither thou wouldst not.' Therefore it is proper that
       I follow my flock."
       And when they were silent, not knowing the sense of his speech,
       he added,--
       "My toil is nearing its end; I shall find entertainment and rest only
       in the house of the Lord."
       Then he turned to them saying: "Remember me, for I have loved
       you as a father loves his children; and whatever ye do in life, do it
       for the glory of God."
       Thus speaking, he raised his aged, trembling hands and blessed
       them; they nestled up to him, feeling that to be the last blessing,
       perhaps, which they should receive from him.
       It was destined them, however, to see him once more. A few days
       later Petronius brought terrible news from the Palatine. It had been
       discovered there that one of Caesar's freedmen was a Christian;
       and on this man were found letters of the Apostles Peter and Paul,
       with letters of James, John, and Judas. Peter's presence in Rome
       was known formerly to Tigellinus, but he thought that the Apostle
       had perished with thousands of other confessors. Now it transpired
       that the two leaders of the new faith were alive and in the capital.
       It was determined, therefore, to seize them at all costs, for it was
       hoped that with their death the last root of the hated sect would be
       plucked out. Petronius heard from Vestinius that Caesar himself
       had issued an order to put Peter and Paul in the Mamertine prison
       within three days, and that whole detachments of pretorians had
       been sent to search every house in the Trans-Tiber.
       When he heard this, Vinicius resolved to warn the Apostle. In the
       evening he and Ursus put on Gallic mantles and went to the house
       of Miriam, where Peter was living. The house was at the very edge
       of the Trans-Tiber division of the city, at the foot of the Janiculum.
       On the road they saw houses surrounded by soldiers, who were
       guided by certain unknown persons. This division of the city was
       alarmed, and in places crowds of curious people had assembled.
       Here and there centurions interrogated prisoners touching Simon
       Peter and Paul of Tarsus.
       Ursus and Vinicius were in advance of the soldiers, and went
       safely to Miriam's house, in which they found Peter surrounded by
       a handful of the faithful. Timothy, Paul's assistant, and Linus were
       at the side of the Apostle.
       At news of the approaching danger, Nazarius led all by a hidden
       passage to the garden gate, and then to deserted stone quarries, a
       few hundred yards distant from the Janiculum Gate. Ursus had to
       carry Linus, whose bones, broken by torture, had not grown
       together yet. But once in the quarry, they felt safe; and by the light
       of a torch ignited by Nazarius they began to consult, in a low
       voice, how to save the life of the Apostle who was so dear to them.
       "Lord," said Vinicius, "let Nazarius guide thee at daybreak to the
       Alban Hills. There I will find thee, and we will take thee to
       Antium, where a ship is ready to take us to Naples and Sicily.
       Blessed will the day and the hour be in which thou shalt enter my
       house, and thou wilt bless my hearth."
       The others heard this with delight, and pressed the Apostle,
       saying,--
       "Hide thyself, sacred leader; remain not in Rome. Preserve the
       living truth, so that it perish not with us and thee. Hear us, who
       entreat thee as a father."
       "Do this in Christ's name!" cried others, grasping at his robes.
       "My children," answered Peter, "who knows the time when the
       Lord will mark the end of his life?"
       But he did not say that he would not leave Rome, and he hesitated
       what to do; for uncertainty, and even fear, had been creeping into
       his soul for some time. His flock was scattered; the work was
       wrecked; that church, which before the burning of the city had
       been flourishing like a splendid tree, was turned into dust by the
       power of the "Beast." Nothing remained save tears, nothing save
       memories of torture and death. The sowing had yielded rich fruit,
       but Satan had trampled it into the earth. Legions of angels had not
       come to aid the perishing, -- and Nero was extending in glory over
       the earth, terrible, mightier than ever, the lord of aell Seas and all
       lands. More than once had that fisherman of the Lord stretched his
       hands heavenward in loneliness and asked: "Lord, what must I do?
       How must I act? And how am I, a feeble old man, to fight with this
       invincible power of Evil, which Thou hart permitted to rule, and
       have victory?"
       And he called out thus in the depth of his immense pain, repeating
       in spirit: "Those sheep which Thou didst command me to feed are
       no more, Thy church is no more; loneliness and mourning are in
       Thy capital; what dost Thou command me to do now? Am I to stay
       here, or lead forth the remnant of the flock to glorify Thy name in
       secret somewhere beyond the sea?"
       And he hesitated, He believed that the living truth would not
       perish, that it must conquer; but at moments he thought that the
       hour had not come yet, that it would come only when the Lord
       should descend to the earth in the day of judgment in glory and
       power a hundred times greater than the might of Nero.
       Frequently it seemed to him that if he left Rome, the faithful
       would follow; that he would lead them then far away to the shady
       groves of Galilee, to the quiet surface of the Lake of Tiberias, to
       shepherds as peaceful as doves, or as sheep, who feed there among
       thyme and pepperwort. And an increasing desire for peace and
       rest, an increasing yearning for the lake and Galilee, seized the
       heart of the fisherman; tears came more frequently to the old man's
       eyes.
       But at the moment when he made the choice, sudden alarm and
       fear came on him. How was he to leave that city, in which so much
       martyrs' blood had sunk into the earth, and where so many lips had
       given the true testimony of the dying? Was he alone to yield? And
       what would he answer the Lord on hearing the words, "These have
       died for the faith, but thou didst flee"?
       Nights and days passed for him in anxiety and suffering. Others,
       who had been torn by lions, who had been fastened to crosses, who
       had been burnt in the gardens of Caesar, had fallen asleep in the
       Lord after moments of torture; but he could not sleep, and he felt
       greater tortures than any of those invented by executioners f or
       victims. Often was the dawn whitening the roofs of houses while
       he was still crying from the depth of his mourning heart: "Lord,
       why didst Thou command me to come hither and found Thy
       capital in the den of the 'Beast'?"
       For thirty-three years after the death of his Master he knew no rest.
       Staff in hand, he had gone through the world and declared the
       "good tidings." His strength had been exhausted in journeys and
       toil, till at last, when in that city, which was the head of the world,
       he had established the work of his Master, one bloody breath of
       wrath had burned it, and he saw that there was need to take up the
       struggle anew. And what a struggle! On one side Caecsar, the
       Senate, the people, the legions holding the world with a circle of
       iron, countless cities, countless lands, .-- power such as the eye of
       man had not seen; on the other side he, so bent with age and toil
       that his trembling hand was hardly able to carry his staff.
       At times, therefore, he said to himself that it was not for him to
       measure with the Caesar of Rome, -- that Christ alone could do
       that.
       All these thoughts were passing through his care-filled head, when
       he heard the prayers of the last handful of the faithful. They,
       surrounding him in an ever narrowing circle, repeated with voices
       of entreaty, --
       "Hide thyself, Rabbi, and lead us away from the power of the
       'Beast.'"
       Finally Linus also bowed his tortured head before him.
       "O lord," said he, "the Redeemer commanded thee to feed His
       sheep, but they are here no longer, go, to-morrow they will not be
       here; go, therefore, where thou mayst find them yet. The word of
       God is living still in Jerusalem, in Antioch, in Ephesus, and in
       other cities. What wilt thou do by remaining in Rome? If thou fall,
       thou wilt merely swell the triumph of the 'Beast.' The Lord has not
       designated the limit of John's life; Paul is a Roman citizen, they
       cannot condemn him without trial; but if the power of hell rise up
       against thee, O teacher, those whose hearts are dejected will ask,
       'Who is above Nero?' Thou art the rock on which the church of
       God is founded. Let us die, but permit not the victory of Antichrist
       over the vicegerent of God, and return not hither till the Lord has
       crushed him who shed innocent blood."
       "Look at our tears!" repeated all who were present.
       Tears flowed over Peter's face too. After a while he rose, and,
       stretching his hands over the kneeling figures, said, --
       "May the name of the Lord be magnified, and may His will be
       done!" _