_ "I send to thee from Antium, by a trusty slave, this letter, to which,
though thy hand is more accustomed to the sword and the javelin
than the pen, I think that thou wilt answer through the same
messenger without needless delay. I left thee on a good trail, and
full of hope; hence I trust that thou hast either satisfied thy
pleasant desires in the embraces of Lygia, or wilt satisfy them
before the real wintry wind from the summits of Soracte shall
blow on the Campania. Oh, my Vinicius! may thy preceptress be
the golden goddess of Cyprus; be thou, on thy part, the preceptor
of that Lygian Aurora, who is fleeing before the sun of love. And
remember always that marble, though most precious, is nothing of
itself, and acquires real value only when the sculptor's hand turns it
into a masterpiece. Be thou such a sculptor, carissime! To love is
not sufficient; one must know how to love; one must know how to
teach love. Though the plebs, too, and even animals, experience
pleasure, a genuine man differs from them in this especially, that
he makes love in some way a noble art, and, admiring it, knows all
its divine value, makes it present in his mind, thus satisfying not
his body~ merely, but his soul. More than once, when I think here
of the emptiness, the uncertainty, the dreariness of life, it occurs to
me that perhaps thou hast chosen better, and that not Caesar's
court, but war and love, are the only objects for which it is worth
while to be born and to live.
"Thou wert fortunate in war, be fortunate also in love; and if thou
art curious as to what men are doing at the court of Caesar, I will
inform thee from time to time. We are living here at Antium, and
nursing our heavenly voice; we continue to cherish the same
hatred of Rome, and think of betaking ourselves to Bai~ for the
winter, to appear in public at Naples, whose inhabitants, being
Greeks, will appreciate us better than that wolf brood on the banks
of the Tiber. People will hasten thither from Bait, from Pompeii,
Puteoli, Cumae, and Stabia; neither applause nor crowns will be
lacking, and that will be an encouragement for the proposed
expedition to Achaea.
"But the memory of the infant Augusta? Yes! we are bewailing her
yet. We are singing hymns of our own composition, so wonderful
that the sirens have been hiding from envy in Amphitrite's deepest
caves. But the dolphins would listen to us, were they not prevented
by the sound of the sea. Our suffering is not allayed yet; hence we
will exhibit it to the world in every form which sculpture can
employ, and observe carefully if we are beautiful in our suffering
and if people recognize this beauty. Oh, my dear! we shall die
buffoons and comedians!
"All the Augustians are here, male and female, not counting ten
thousand servants, and five hundred she asses, in whose milk
Poppae bathes. At times even it is cheerful here. Calvia Crispinilla
is growing old. It is said that she has begged Poppza to let her take
the bath immediately after herself. Lucan slapped Nigidia on the
face, because he suspected her of relations with a gladiator. Sporus
lost his wife at dice to Senecio. Torquatus Silanus has offered me
for Eunice four chestnut horses, which this year will win the prize
beyond doubt. I would not accept! Thanks to thee, also, that thou
d~dst not take her. As to Torquarus Silanus, the poor man does not
even suspect that he is already more a shade than a man. His death
is decided. And knowest what his crime is? He is the
great-grandson of the deified Augustus. There is no rescue for him.
Such is our world.
"As is known to thee, we have been expecting Tiridates here;
meanwhile Vologeses has written an offensive letter. Because he
has conquered Armenia, he asks that it be left to him for Tiridates;
if not, he will not yield it in any case. Pure comedy! So we have
decided on war. Corbulo will receive power such as Pompeius
Magnus received in the war with pirates. There was a moment,
however, when Nero hesitated. He seems afraid of the glory which
Corbulo will win in case of victory. It was even thought to offer
the chief command to our Aulus. This was opposed by Poppae, for
whom evidently Pomponia's virtue is as salt in the eye.
"Vatinius described to us a remarkable fight of gladiators, which is
to take place in Beneventum. See to what cobblers rise in our time,
in spite of the saying, 'Ne sutor ultra crepidam!' Vitelius is the
descendant of a cobbler; but Vatinius is the son of one! Perhaps he
drew thread himself! The actor Aliturus represented Oedipus
yesterday wonderfully. I asked him, by the way, as a Jew, if
Christians and Jews were the same. He answered that the Jews
have an eternal religion, but that Christians are a new sect risen
recently in Judea; that in the time of Tiberius the Jews crucified a
certain man, whose adherents increase daily, and that the
Christians consider him as God. They refuse, it seems, to
recognize other gods, ours especially. I cannot understand what
harm it would do them to recognize these gods.
"Tigellinus shows me open enmity now. So far he is unequal to
me; but he is, superior in this, that he cares more for life, and is at
the same time a greater scoundrel, which brings him nearer
Ahenobarbus. These two will understand each other earlier or
later, and then my turn will come. I know not when it will come;
but I know this, that as things are it must come; hence let time
pass. Meanwhile we must amuse ourselves. Life of itself would not
be bad were it not for Bronzebeard. Thanks to him, a man at times
is disgusted with himself. It is not correct to consider the struggle
for his favor as a kind of rivalry in a circus, -- as a kind of game, as
a struggle, in which victory flatters vanity. True, I explain it to
myself in that way frequently; but still it seems to me sometimes
that I am like Chio, and better in nothing than he. When he ceases
to be needful to thee, send him to me. I have taken a fancy to his
edifying conversation. A greeting from me to thy divine Christian,
or rather beg her in my name not to be a fish to thee. Inform me
of thy health, inform me of thy love, know how to love, teach how
to love, and farewell."
Vinscius to Pemonsus:
"Lygia is not found yet! Were it not for the hope that I shall find
her soon, thou wouldst not receive an answer; for when a man is
disgusted with life, he has no wish to write letters. I wanted to
learn whether Chilo was not deceiving me; and at night when he
came to get the money for Euricius, I threw on a military mantle,
and unobserved followed him and the slave whom I sent with him.
When they reached the place, I watched from a distance, hidden
behind a portico pillar, and convinced myself that Euricius was not
invented. Below, a number of tens of people were unloading
stones from a spacious barge, and piling them up on the bank. I
saw Chilo approach them, and begin to talk with some old man,
who after a while fell at his feet. Others surrounded them with
shouts of admiration. Before my eyes the boy gave a purse to
Euricius, who on seizing it began to pray with upraised hands,
while at his side some second person was kneeling, evidently his
son. Chilo said something which I could not hear, and blessed the
two who were kneeling, as well as others, making in the air signs
in the form of a cross, which they honor apparently, f or all bent
their knees. The desire seized me to go among them, and promise
three such purses to him who would deliver to me Lygia; but I
feared to spoil Chio's work, and after hesitating a moment went
home.
"This happened at least twelve days after thy departure. Since then
Chilo has been a number of times with me. He says that he has
gained great significance among the Christians; that if he has not
found Lygia so far, it is because the Christians in Rome are
innumerable, hence all are not acquainted with each person in their
community, and cannot know everything that is done in it. They
are cautious, too, and in general reticent. He gives assurance,
however, that when he reaches the elders, who are called
presbyters, he will learn every secret. He has made the
acquaintance of a number of these already, and has begun to
inquire of them, though carefully, so as not to rouse suspicion by
haste, and not to make the work still more difficult. Though it is
hard to wait, though patience fails, I feel that he is right, and I
wait.
"He learned, too, that they have places of meeting for prayer,
frequently outside the city, in empty houses and even in sandpits.
There they worship Christ, sing hymns, and have feasts. There are
many such places. Chilo supposes that Lygia goes purposely to
different ones from Pomponia, so that the latter, in case of legal
proceedings or an examination, might swear boldly that she knew
nothing of Lygia's hiding-place. It may be that the presbyters have
advised caution. When Chilo discovers those places, I will go with
him; and if the gods let me see Lygia, I swear to thee by Jupiter
that she will not escape my hands this time.
"I am thinking continually of those places of prayer. Chilo is
unwilling that I should go with him; he is afraid. But I cannot stay
at home. I should know her at once, even in disguise or if veiled.
They assemble in the night, but I should recognize her in the night
even. I should know her voice and motions anywhere. I will go
myself in disguise, and look at every person who goes in or out. I
am thinking of her always, and shall recognize her. Chilo is to
come to-morrow, and we shall go. I will take arms. Some of my
slaves sent to the provinces have returned empty-handed. But I am
certain now that she is in the city, perhaps not far away even. I
myself have visited many houses under pretext of renting them.
She will fare better with me a hundred times; where she is, whole
legions of poor people dwell. Besides, I shall spare nothing for her
sake. Thou writest that I have chosen well. I have chosen suffering
and sorrow. We shall go first to those houses which are in the city,
then beyond the gates. Hope looks for something every morning,
otherwise life would be impossible. Thou sayest that one should
know how to love. I knew how to talk of love to Lygia. But now I
only yearn; I do nothing but wait for Chilo. Life to me is
unendurable in my own house. Farewell!" _