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Quo Vadis
CHAPTER XL
Henryk Sienkiewicz
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       _ IN Antium, meanwhile, Petronius gained new victories almost
       daily over courtiers vying with him for the favor of Caesar. The
       influence of Tigellinus had fallen completely. In Rome, when
       there was occasion to set aside men who seemed dangerous, to
       plunder their property or to settle political cases, to give spectacles
       astounding by their luxury and bad taste, or finally to satisty the
       monstrous whims ot Caesar, Tigellinus, as adroit, as he was ready
       for anything, became indispensable. But in Antium,
       among palaces reflected in the azure of the sea, Caesar led a
       Hellenic existence. From morning till evening Nero and his
       attendants read verses, discoursed on their structure and finish,
       were delighted with happy turns of expression, were occupied with
       music, the theatre, -- in a word, exclusively with that which
       Grecian genius had invented, and with which it had beautified life.
       Under these conditions Petronius, incomparably more rehaed than
       Tigellinus and the other courtiers, -- witty, eloquent, full of subtile
       feelings and tastes, obtained pre-eminence of necessity. Caesar
       sought his society, took his opinion, asked for advice when he
       composed, and showed a more lively friendship than at any other
       time whatever. It seemed to courtiers that his influence had won a
       supreme triumph at last, that friendship between him and Caesar
       had entered on a period of certainty which would last for years.
       Even those who had shown dislike previously to the exquisite
       Epicurean, began now to crowd around him and vie for his favor.
       More than one was even sincerely glad in his soul that
       preponderance had come to a man who knew really what to think
       of a given person, who received with a sceptical smile the flattery
       of his enemies of yesterday, but who, either through indolence or
       culture, was not vengeful, and did not use his power to the
       detriment or destruction of others. There were moments when he
       might have destroyed even Tigellinus, but he preferred to ridicule
       him, and expose his vulgarity and want of refinement. In Rome the
       Senate drew breath, for no death sentence had been issued for a
       month and a half. It is true that in Antium and the city people told
       wonders of the refinement which the profligacy of Caesar and his
       favorite had reached, but every one preferred a refined Caesar to
       one brutalized in the hands of Tigellinus. Tigellinus himself lost
       his head, and hesitated whether or not to yield as conquered, for
       Caesar had said repeatedly that in all Rome and in his court there
       were only two spirits capable of understanding each other, two real
       Hellenes, -- he and Petronius.
       The amazing dexterity of Petronius confinned people in the
       conviction that his influence would outlive every other. They dId
       not see how Caesar could dispense with him, -- with whom could
       he converse touching poetry, music, and comparative excellence;
       in whose eyes could he look to learn whether his creation was
       indeed perfect? Petronius, with his habitual indifference, seemed
       to attach no importance to his position. As usual, he was remiss,
       slothful, sceptical, and witty. He produced on people frequently
       the impression of a man who made light of them, of himself, of
       Caesar, of the whole world. At moments he ventured to criticise
       Caesar to his face, and when others judged that he was going too
       far, or simply preparing his own ruin, he was able to turn the
       criticism suddenly in such a way that it came out to his profit; he
       roused amazement in those present, and the conviction that there
       was no position from which he could not issue in triumph.
       About a week after the return of Vinicius from Rome, Caesar read
       in a small circle an extract from his Troyad; when he had finished
       and the shouts of rapture had ended, Petronius, interrogated by a
       glance from Caesar, replied, --
       "Common verses, fit for the fire."
       The hearts of those present stopped beating from terror. Since the
       years of his childhood Nero had never heard such a sentence from
       any man. The face of Tigellinus was radiant with delight. But
       Vinicius grew pale, thinking that Petronius, who thus far had never
       been drunk, was drunk this time.
       Nero, however, inquired in a honeyed voice, in which more or less
       deeply wounded vanity was quivering, --
       "What defect dost thou find in them?"
       "Do not believe thcm," said Petronius, attacking him, and pointing
       to those present; "they understand nothing. Thou hast asked what
       defect there is in thy verses. If thou desire truth, I will tell rhee~
       Thy verses would be worthy of Virgil, of Ovid, even of Homer, but
       they are not worthy of thee. Thou art not free to write such. The
       conflagration described by thee does not blaze enough; thy fire is
       not hot enough. Listen not to Lucan's flatteries. Had he written
       those verses, I should acknowledge him a genius, but thy case is
       different. And knowest thou why? Thou art greater than they. From
       him who is gifted of the gods as thou art, more is demanded. But
       thou art slothful, -- thou wouldst rather sleep after dinner than sit
       to wrinkles. Thou canst create a work such as the world has not
       heard of to this day; hence I tell thee to thy eyes, write better!"
       And he said this carelessly, as if bantering and also chiding; but
       Caesar's eyes were mist-covered from delight.
       "The gods have given me a little talent," said he, "hut they have
       given me something greater, a true judge and friend, the only man
       able to speak the truth to my eyes."
       Then he stretched his fat hand, grown over with reddish hair, to a
       golden candelabrum plundered from Delphi, to burn the verses.
       But Petronius seized them before the flame touched the paper.
       "No, no!" said he; "even thus they belong to mankind. Leave them
       to me."
       "In such case let me send them to thee in a cylinder of my own
       invention," answered Nero, embracing Petroriius.
       "True; thou art right," said he, after a while. "My conflagration of
       Troy does not blaze enough; my fire is not hot enough. But I
       thought it sufficient to equal Homer. A certain timidity and low
       estimate of my power have fettered inc always. Thou hast opened
       my eyes. But knowest why it is, as thou sayest? When a sculptor
       makes the statue of a god, he seeks a model; but never have I had a
       model. I never have seen a burning city; hence there is a lack of
       truth in my description."
       "Then I will say that only a great artist understands this." Nero
       grew thoughtful, and after a while he said, -- "Answer one
       question, Petronius. Dost thou regret the burning of Troy?"
       "Do I regret? By the lame consort of Venus, not in the least! And I
       will tell thee the reason. Troy would not have been consumed if
       Prometheus had not given fire to man, and the Greeks made war
       on Priam. Aeschylus would not have written his Prometheus had
       there been no fire, just as Homer would not have written the Iliad
       had there been no Trojan war. I think it better to have Prometheus
       and the Iliad than a small and shabby city, which was unclean, I
       think, and wretched, and in which at best there would be now
       some procurator annoying thee through quarrels with the local
       areopagus."
       "That is what we call speaking with sound reason," said Nero. "For
       art and poetry it is permitted, and it is right, to sacrifice everything.
       Happy were the Achanns who furnished Homer with the substance
       of the Iliad, and happy Priam who beheld the ruin of his birthplace.
       As to me, I have never seen a burning city."
       A time of silence followed, which was broken at last by
       Tigellinus-- "But I have said to thee, Camar, already, command
       and I will burn Antium; or dost thou know what? If thou art sorry
       for these villas and palaces, give command to burn the ships in
       Ostia; or I will build a wooden city on the Alban Hills, into which
       thou shalt hurl the fire thyself. Dost thou wish?"
       "Am I to gaze on the burning of wooden sheds?" asked Nero,
       casting a look of contempt on him. "Thy mind has grown utterly
       barren, Tigellinus. And I see, besides, that thou dost set no great
       value on my talent or my Troyad, since thou judgest that any
       sacrifice would be too great for it."
       Tigellinus was confused; but Nero, as if wishing to change the
       conversation, added after a while, --
       "Summer is passing. Oh, what a stench there must be in that Rome
       now! And stil1 we must return for the summer games."
       "When thou dismissest the Augustians, O Caesar, permit me to
       remain with thee a moment," said Tigellinus.
       An hour later Vinicius, returning with Petronius from Ctsar's villa,
       said, -- "I was a trifle alarmed for thee. I judged that while drunk
       thou hadst ruined thyself beyond redemption. Remember that thou
       art playing with death."
       "That is my arena," answered Petronius, carelessly; "and the
       feeling that I am the best gladiator in it amuses me. See how it
       ended. My influence has increased this evening. He will send me
       his verses in a cylinder which -- dost wish to lay a wager? -- will
       be immensely rich and in immensely bad taste. I shall command
       my physician to keep physic in it. I did this for another reason, --
       because Tigellinus, seeing how such things succeed, will wish
       surely to imitate me, and I imagine what will happen. The moment
       he starts a witticism, it will be as if a bear of the Pyrenees were
       rope-walking. I shall laugh like Democritus. If I wished I could
       destroy Tigellinus perhaps, and become pretorian prefect in his
       place, and have Ahenobarbus himself in my hands. But I am
       indolent; I prefer my present life and even Caesar's verses to
       trouble."
       "What dexterity to be able to turn even blame into flattery! But are
       those verses really so bad? I am no judge in those matters."
       "The verses are not worse than others. Lucan has more talent in
       one finger, but in Bronzebeard too there is something. He has,
       above all, an imtnense love for poetry and music. In two days we
       are to be with him to hear the music of his hymn to Aphrodite,
       which he will finish to-day or to-morrow. We shall be in a small
       circle, -- only I, thou, Tullius Senecio, and young Nerva. But as to
       what I said touching Nero's verses, that I use them after feasting as
       Vitelius does flamingo feathers, is not true. At times they are
       eloquent. 1-lecuba's words are touching. She complains of the
       pangs of birth, and Nero was able to find happy expressions, for
       this reason, perhaps, that he gives birth to every verse in torment.
       At times I am sorry for him. By Pollux, what a marvellous
       mixture! The fifth stave was lacking in Caligula, but still he never
       did such strange things."
       "Who can foresee to what the madness of Ahenobarbus will go?"
       asked Vinicius.
       "No man whatever. Such things may happen yet that the hair will
       stand on men's heads for whole centuries at thought of them. But it
       is that precisely which interests me; and though I am bored more
       than once, like Jupiter Ammon in the desert, I believe that under
       another Caesar I should be bored a hundred times more. Paul, thy
       little Jew, is eloquent, -- that I accord to him; and if people like
       him proclaim that religion, our gods must defend themselves
       seriously, lest in time they be led away captive. It is true that if
       Caesar, for example, were a Christian, all would feel safer. But thy
       prophet of Tarsus, in applying proofs to me, did not think, seest
       thou, that for mc this uncertainty becomes the charm of life.
       Whoso does not play at dice will not lose property, but still people
       play at dice. There is in that a certain delight and destruction of the
       present. I have known sons of knights and senators to become
       gladiators of their own will. I play with life, thou sayest, and that is
       true, but I play because it pleases me; while Christian virtues
       would bore me in a day, as do the discourses of Seneca. Because
       of this, Paul's eloquence is exerted in vain. He should understand
       that people like me will never accept his religion. With thy
       disposition thou mightst either hate the name Christian, or become
       a Christian immediately. I recognize, while yawning, the truth of
       what they say. We are mad. We are hastening to the precipice,
       something unknown is coming toward us out of the future,
       something is breaking beneath us, something is dying around us, --
       agreed! But we shall succeed in dying; meanwhile we have no
       wish to burden life, and serve death before it takes us. Life exists
       for itself alone, not for death."
       "But I pity thee, Perronius."
       "Do not pity me more than I pity myself. Formerly thou wert glad
       among us; while campaigning in Armenia, thou wert longing for
       Rome."
       "And now I am longing for Rome."
       "True; for thou art in love with a Christian vestal, who sits in the
       Trans.Tiber. I neither wonder at this, nor do I blame thee. I wonder
       more, that in spite of a religion described by thee as a sea of
       happiness, and in spite of a love which is soon to he crowned,
       sadness has not left thy face. Pomponia Graecina is eternally
       pensive; from the time of thy becoming a Christian thou hast
       ceased to laugh. Do not try to persuade me that this religion is
       cheerfuL Thou hast returned from Rome sadder than ever. If
       Christians love in this way, by the bright curls of Bacchus! I shall
       not imitate them!"
       "That is another thing," answered Vinicius. "I swear to thee, not by
       the curls of Bacehus, but by the soul of my father, that never in
       times past have I experienced even a foretaste of such happiness as
       I breathe to-day. But I yearn greatly; and what is stranger, when I
       am far from Lygia, I think that danger is threatening her. I know
       not what danger, nor whence it may come; but I feel it, as one feels
       a coming tempest."
       "In two days I will try to obtain for thee permission to leave
       Antium, for as long a time as may please thee. Poppaea is
       somewhat more quiet; and, as far as I know, no danger from her
       threatens thee or Lygia."
       "This very day she asked me what I was doing in Rome, though my
       departure was secret."
       "Perhaps she gave command to set spies on thee. Now, however,
       even she must count with me."
       "Paul told me," said Vinicius, "that God forewarns sometimes, but
       does not permit us to believe in omens; hence I guard myself
       against this belief, but I cannot ward it off. I will tell thee what
       happened, so as to cast the weight from my heart. Lygia and I were
       sitting side by side on a night as calm as this, and planning our
       future. I cannot tell thee how happy and calm we were. All at once
       lions began to roar. That is common in Rome, but since then I
       have no rest. It seems to me that in that roaring there was a threat,
       an announcement as it were of misfortune. Thou knowest that I am
       not frightened easily; that night, however, something happened
       which filled all the darkness with terror. It came so strangely and
       unexpectedly that I have those sounds in my ears yet, and
       unbroken fear in my heart, as if Lygia were asking my protection
       from something dreadful, --even from those same lions. I am in
       torture. Obtain for me permission to leave Antium, or I shall go
       without it. I cannot remain. I repeat to thee, I cannot!"
       "Sons of consuls or their wives are not given to lions yet in the
       arenas," said Petronius, laughing. "Any other death may meet thee
       but that. Who knows, besides, that they were lions? German bisons
       roar with no less gentleness than lions. As to me, I ridicule omens
       and fates. Last night was warm and I saw stars falling like rain.
       Many a man has an evil foreboding at such a sight; but I thought,
       'If among these is my star too, I shall not lack society at least!'"
       Then he was silent, but added after a moment's thought, -- "If your
       Christ has risen from the dead, He may perhaps protect you both
       from death."
       "He may," answered Vinicius, looking at the heavens filled with
       stars. _