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Quo Vadis
CHAPTER XXXIV
Henryk Sienkiewicz
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       _ WHILE walking with Lygia through the garden, Vinicius described
       briefly, in words from the depth of his heart, that which a short
       time before he had confessed to the Apostles, -- that is, the alarm
       of his soul, the changes which had taken place in him, and, finally,
       that immense yearning which had veiled life from him, beginning
       with the hour when he left Miriam's dwelling. He confessed to
       Lygia that he had tried to forget her, but was not able. He thought
       whole days and nights of her. That little cross of boxwood twigs
       which she had left reminded him of her, -- that cross, which he had
       placed in the lararium and revered involuntarily as something
       divine. And he yearned more and more every moment, for love
       was stronger than he, and had seized his soul altogether, even
       when he was at the house of Aulus. The Parcae weave the thread
       of life for others; but love, yearning, and melancholy had woven it
       for him. His acts had been evil, but they had their origin in love.
       He had loved her when she was in the house of Aulus, when she
       was on the Palatine, when he saw her in Ostrianum listening to
       Peter's words, when he went with Croton to carry her away, when
       she watched at his bedside, and when she deserted him. Then came
       Chilo, who discovered her dwelling, and advised him to seize her a
       second time; but he chose to punish Chilo, and go to the Apostles
       to ask for truth and for her. And blessed be that moment in which
       such a thought came to his head, for now he is at her side, and she
       will not flee from him, as the last time she fled from the house of
       Miriam.
       "I did not flee from thee," said Lygia. "Then why didst thou go?"
       She raised her iris-colored eyes to him, and, bending her blushing
       face, said,-- "Thou knowest --"
       Vinicius was silent for a moment from excess of happiness, and
       began again to speak, as his eyes were opened gradually to this, --
       that she was different utterly from Roman women, and resembled
       Pomponia alone. Besides, he could not explain this to her clearly,
       for he could not define his feeling, -- that beauty of a new kind
       altogether was coming to the world in her, such beauty as had not
       been in it thus far; beauty which is not merely a statue, but a spirit.
       He told her something, howcver, which filled her with delight, --
       that he loved her just because she had fled from him, and that she
       would be sacred to him at his hearth. Then, seizing her hand, he
       could not continue; he merely gazed on her with rapture as on his
       life's happiness which he had won, and repeated her name, as if to
       assure himself that he had found her and was near her.
       "Oh, Lygia, Lygia!"
       At last he inquired what had taken place in her mind, and she
       confessed that she had loved him while in the house of Aulus, and
       that if he had taken her back to them from the Palatine she would
       have told them of her love and tried to soften their anger against
       him.
       "I swear to thee," said Vinicius, "that it had not even risen in my
       mind to take thee from Aulus. Petronius will tell thee sometime
       that I told him then how I loved and wished to marry thee. 'Let her
       anoint my door with wolf fat, and let her sit at my hearth,' said I to
       him. But he ridiculed me, and gave Caesar the idea of demanding
       thee as a hostage and giving thee to me. How often in my sorrow
       have I cursed him; but perhaps fate ordained thus, for otherwise I
       should not have known the Christians, and should not have
       understood thee."
       "Believe me, Marcus," replied Lygia, "it was Christ who led thee to
       Himself by design."
       Vinicius raised his head with a certain astonishment.
       "True," answered he, with animation. "Everything fixed itself so
       marvellously that in seeking thee I met the Christians. In
       Ostrianum I listened to the Apostle with wonder, for I had never
       heard such words. And there thou didst pray for me?"
       "I did," answered Lygia.
       They passed near the summer-house covered with thick ivy, and
       approached the place where Ursus, after stifling Croton, threw
       himself upon Vinicius.
       "Here," said the young man, "I should have perished but for thee."
       "Do not mention that," answered Lygia, "and do not speak of it to
       Ursus."
       "Could I be revenged on him for defending thee? Had he been a
       slave, I should have given him freedom straightway."
       "Had he been a slave, Aiilus would have freed him long ago."
       "Dost thou remember," asked Vinicius, "that I wished to take thee
       back to Aulus, but the answer was, that Caesar might hear of it and
       take revenge on Aulus and Pomponia? Think of this: thou mayst
       see them now as often as thou wishest."
       "How, Marcus?"
       "I say 'now,' and I think that thou wilt be able to see them without
       danger, when thou art mine. For should Caesar hear of this, and
       ask what I did with the hostage whom he gave me, I should say 'I
       married her, and she Visits the house of Aulus with my consent.'
       He will not remain long in Antium, for he wishes to go to Achiea;
       and even should he remain, I shall not need to see him daily. When
       Paul of Tarsus teaches me your faith, I will receive baptism at
       once, I will come here, gain the friendship of Aulus and
       Pornponia, who will return to the city by that time, and there will
       be no further hindrance, I will seat thee at my hearth. Oh,
       carissima! carissirna!"
       And he stretched forth his liand, as if taking Heaven as witness of
       his love;. and Lygia, raising her clear eyes to him, said, -- "And
       then I shall say, 'Wherever thou art, Caius, there am I, Caia.'"
       "No, Lygia," cried Vinicius, "I swear to thee that never has woman
       been so honored in the house of her husband as thou shalt be in
       mine."
       For a time they walked on in silence, without being able to take in
       with their breasts their happiness, in love with each other, like two
       deities, and as beautiful as if spring had given them to the world
       with the flowers.
       They halted at last under the cypress growing near the entrance of
       the house. Lygia leaned against his breast, and Vinicius began to
       entreat again with a trembling voice, -- "Tell Ursus to go to the
       house of Aulus for thy furniture and playthings of childhood."
       But she, blushing like a rose or like the dawn, answered, --
       "Custom commands otherwise."
       "I know that. The pronuba1 usually brings them behind the bride,
       but do this for me. I will take them to my villa in Antium, and they
       will remind me of thee."
       Here he placed his hands together and repeated, like a child who is
       begging for something, -- "It will be some days before Pomponia
       returns; so do this, diva, do this, carissima."
       "But Pomponia will do as she likes," answered Lygia, blushing still
       more deeply at mention of the pronuba.
       And again they were silent, for love had begun to stop the breath in
       their breasts. Lygia stood with shoulders leaning against the
       cypress, her face whitening in the shadow, like a flower, her eyes
       drooping, her bosom heaving with more and more life. Vinicius
       changed in the face, and grew pale. In the silence of the afternoon
       they only heard the beating of their hearts, and in their mutual
       ecstasy that cypress, the myrtle bushes, and the ivy of the
       summer-house became for them a paradise of love. But Miriam
       appeared in the door, and invited them to the afternoon meal. They
       sat down then with the Apostles, who gazed at them with pleasure,
       as on the young generation which after their death would preserve
       anti sow still further the seed of the new faith. Peter broke and
       blessed bread. There was calm on all faces, and a certain immense
       happiness seemed to overflow the whole house.
       "See," said Paul at last, turning to Vinicius, "are we enemies of life
       and happiness?"
       "I know how that is," answered Vinicius, "for never have I been so
       happy as among you."
       1The matron who accompanies the bride and explains to her the
       duties of a wife. _