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Barnaby Rudge
CHAPTER 81
Charles Dickens
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       _ Another month had passed, and the end of August had nearly come,
       when Mr Haredale stood alone in the mail-coach office at Bristol.
       Although but a few weeks had intervened since his conversation with
       Edward Chester and his niece, in the locksmith's house, and he had
       made no change, in the mean time, in his accustomed style of dress,
       his appearance was greatly altered. He looked much older, and more
       care-worn. Agitation and anxiety of mind scatter wrinkles and grey
       hairs with no unsparing hand; but deeper traces follow on the
       silent uprooting of old habits, and severing of dear, familiar
       ties. The affections may not be so easily wounded as the passions,
       but their hurts are deeper, and more lasting. He was now a
       solitary man, and the heart within him was dreary and lonesome.
       He was not the less alone for having spent so many years in
       seclusion and retirement. This was no better preparation than a
       round of social cheerfulness: perhaps it even increased the
       keenness of his sensibility. He had been so dependent upon her for
       companionship and love; she had come to be so much a part and
       parcel of his existence; they had had so many cares and thoughts in
       common, which no one else had shared; that losing her was beginning
       life anew, and being required to summon up the hope and elasticity
       of youth, amid the doubts, distrusts, and weakened energies of
       age.
       The effort he had made to part from her with seeming cheerfulness
       and hope--and they had parted only yesterday--left him the more
       depressed. With these feelings, he was about to revisit London for
       the last time, and look once more upon the walls of their old home,
       before turning his back upon it, for ever.
       The journey was a very different one, in those days, from what the
       present generation find it; but it came to an end, as the longest
       journey will, and he stood again in the streets of the metropolis.
       He lay at the inn where the coach stopped, and resolved, before he
       went to bed, that he would make his arrival known to no one; would
       spend but another night in London; and would spare himself the pang
       of parting, even with the honest locksmith.
       Such conditions of the mind as that to which he was a prey when he
       lay down to rest, are favourable to the growth of disordered
       fancies, and uneasy visions. He knew this, even in the horror with
       which he started from his first sleep, and threw up the window to
       dispel it by the presence of some object, beyond the room, which
       had not been, as it were, the witness of his dream. But it was not
       a new terror of the night; it had been present to him before, in
       many shapes; it had haunted him in bygone times, and visited his
       pillow again and again. If it had been but an ugly object, a
       childish spectre, haunting his sleep, its return, in its old form,
       might have awakened a momentary sensation of fear, which, almost in
       the act of waking, would have passed away. This disquiet,
       however, lingered about him, and would yield to nothing. When he
       closed his eyes again, he felt it hovering near; as he slowly sunk
       into a slumber, he was conscious of its gathering strength and
       purpose, and gradually assuming its recent shape; when he sprang up
       from his bed, the same phantom vanished from his heated brain, and
       left him filled with a dread against which reason and waking
       thought were powerless.
       The sun was up, before he could shake it off. He rose late, but
       not refreshed, and remained within doors all that day. He had a
       fancy for paying his last visit to the old spot in the evening, for
       he had been accustomed to walk there at that season, and desired to
       see it under the aspect that was most familiar to him. At such an
       hour as would afford him time to reach it a little before sunset,
       he left the inn, and turned into the busy street.
       He had not gone far, and was thoughtfully making his way among the
       noisy crowd, when he felt a hand upon his shoulder, and, turning,
       recognised one of the waiters from the inn, who begged his pardon,
       but he had left his sword behind him.
       'Why have you brought it to me?' he asked, stretching out his hand,
       and yet not taking it from the man, but looking at him in a
       disturbed and agitated manner.
       The man was sorry to have disobliged him, and would carry it back
       again. The gentleman had said that he was going a little way into
       the country, and that he might not return until late. The roads
       were not very safe for single travellers after dark; and, since the
       riots, gentlemen had been more careful than ever, not to trust
       themselves unarmed in lonely places. 'We thought you were a
       stranger, sir,' he added, 'and that you might believe our roads to
       be better than they are; but perhaps you know them well, and carry
       fire-arms--'
       He took the sword, and putting it up at his side, thanked the man,
       and resumed his walk.
       It was long remembered that he did this in a manner so strange, and
       with such a trembling hand, that the messenger stood looking after
       his retreating figure, doubtful whether he ought not to follow, and
       watch him. It was long remembered that he had been heard pacing
       his bedroom in the dead of the night; that the attendants had
       mentioned to each other in the morning, how fevered and how pale he
       looked; and that when this man went back to the inn, he told a
       fellow-servant that what he had observed in this short interview
       lay very heavy on his mind, and that he feared the gentleman
       intended to destroy himself, and would never come back alive.
       With a half-consciousness that his manner had attracted the man's
       attention (remembering the expression of his face when they
       parted), Mr Haredale quickened his steps; and arriving at a stand
       of coaches, bargained with the driver of the best to carry him so
       far on his road as the point where the footway struck across the
       fields, and to await his return at a house of entertainment which
       was within a stone's-throw of that place. Arriving there in due
       course, he alighted and pursued his way on foot.
       He passed so near the Maypole, that he could see its smoke rising
       from among the trees, while a flock of pigeons--some of its old
       inhabitants, doubtless--sailed gaily home to roost, between him and
       the unclouded sky. 'The old house will brighten up now,' he said,
       as he looked towards it, 'and there will be a merry fireside
       beneath its ivied roof. It is some comfort to know that everything
       will not be blighted hereabouts. I shall be glad to have one
       picture of life and cheerfulness to turn to, in my mind!'
       He resumed his walk, and bent his steps towards the Warren. It was
       a clear, calm, silent evening, with hardly a breath of wind to stir
       the leaves, or any sound to break the stillness of the time, but
       drowsy sheep-bells tinkling in the distance, and, at intervals,
       the far-off lowing of cattle, or bark of village dogs. The sky
       was radiant with the softened glory of sunset; and on the earth,
       and in the air, a deep repose prevailed. At such an hour, he
       arrived at the deserted mansion which had been his home so long,
       and looked for the last time upon its blackened walls.
       The ashes of the commonest fire are melancholy things, for in them
       there is an image of death and ruin,--of something that has been
       bright, and is but dull, cold, dreary dust,--with which our nature
       forces us to sympathise. How much more sad the crumbled embers of
       a home: the casting down of that great altar, where the worst among
       us sometimes perform the worship of the heart; and where the best
       have offered up such sacrifices, and done such deeds of heroism,
       as, chronicled, would put the proudest temples of old Time, with
       all their vaunting annals, to the blush!
       He roused himself from a long train of meditation, and walked
       slowly round the house. It was by this time almost dark.
       He had nearly made the circuit of the building, when he uttered a
       half-suppressed exclamation, started, and stood still. Reclining,
       in an easy attitude, with his back against a tree, and
       contemplating the ruin with an expression of pleasure,--a pleasure
       so keen that it overcame his habitual indolence and command of
       feature, and displayed itself utterly free from all restraint or
       reserve,--before him, on his own ground, and triumphing then, as he
       had triumphed in every misfortune and disappointment of his life,
       stood the man whose presence, of all mankind, in any place, and
       least of all in that, he could the least endure.
       Although his blood so rose against this man, and his wrath so
       stirred within him, that he could have struck him dead, he put such
       fierce constraint upon himself that he passed him without a word or
       look. Yes, and he would have gone on, and not turned, though to
       resist the Devil who poured such hot temptation in his brain,
       required an effort scarcely to be achieved, if this man had not
       himself summoned him to stop: and that, with an assumed compassion
       in his voice which drove him well-nigh mad, and in an instant
       routed all the self-command it had been anguish--acute, poignant
       anguish--to sustain.
       All consideration, reflection, mercy, forbearance; everything by
       which a goaded man can curb his rage and passion; fled from him as
       he turned back. And yet he said, slowly and quite calmly--far more
       calmly than he had ever spoken to him before:
       'Why have you called to me?'
       'To remark,' said Sir John Chester with his wonted composure, 'what
       an odd chance it is, that we should meet here!'
       'It IS a strange chance.'
       'Strange? The most remarkable and singular thing in the world. I
       never ride in the evening; I have not done so for years. The whim
       seized me, quite unaccountably, in the middle of last night.--How
       very picturesque this is!'--He pointed, as he spoke, to the
       dismantled house, and raised his glass to his eye.
       'You praise your own work very freely.'
       Sir John let fall his glass; inclined his face towards him with an
       air of the most courteous inquiry; and slightly shook his head as
       though he were remarking to himself, 'I fear this animal is going
       mad!'
       'I say you praise your own work very freely,' repeated Mr
       Haredale.
       'Work!' echoed Sir John, looking smilingly round. 'Mine!--I beg
       your pardon, I really beg your pardon--'
       'Why, you see,' said Mr Haredale, 'those walls. You see those
       tottering gables. You see on every side where fire and smoke have
       raged. You see the destruction that has been wanton here. Do you
       not?'
       'My good friend,' returned the knight, gently checking his
       impatience with his hand, 'of course I do. I see everything you
       speak of, when you stand aside, and do not interpose yourself
       between the view and me. I am very sorry for you. If I had not
       had the pleasure to meet you here, I think I should have written to
       tell you so. But you don't bear it as well as I had expected--
       excuse me--no, you don't indeed.'
       He pulled out his snuff-box, and addressing him with the superior
       air of a man who, by reason of his higher nature, has a right to
       read a moral lesson to another, continued:
       'For you are a philosopher, you know--one of that stern and rigid
       school who are far above the weaknesses of mankind in general. You
       are removed, a long way, from the frailties of the crowd. You
       contemplate them from a height, and rail at them with a most
       impressive bitterness. I have heard you.'
       --'And shall again,' said Mr Haredale.
       'Thank you,' returned the other. 'Shall we walk as we talk? The
       damp falls rather heavily. Well,--as you please. But I grieve to
       say that I can spare you only a very few moments.'
       'I would,' said Mr Haredale, 'you had spared me none. I would,
       with all my soul, you had been in Paradise (if such a monstrous
       lie could be enacted), rather than here to-night.'
       'Nay,' returned the other--'really--you do yourself injustice. You
       are a rough companion, but I would not go so far to avoid you.'
       'Listen to me,' said Mr Haredale. 'Listen to me.'
       'While you rail?' inquired Sir John.
       'While I deliver your infamy. You urged and stimulated to do your
       work a fit agent, but one who in his nature--in the very essence of
       his being--is a traitor, and who has been false to you (despite the
       sympathy you two should have together) as he has been to all
       others. With hints, and looks, and crafty words, which told again
       are nothing, you set on Gashford to this work--this work before us
       now. With these same hints, and looks, and crafty words, which
       told again are nothing, you urged him on to gratify the deadly
       hate he owes me--I have earned it, I thank Heaven--by the abduction
       and dishonour of my niece. You did. I see denial in your looks,'
       he cried, abruptly pointing in his face, and stepping back, 'and
       denial is a lie!'
       He had his hand upon his sword; but the knight, with a contemptuous
       smile, replied to him as coldly as before.
       'You will take notice, sir--if you can discriminate sufficiently--
       that I have taken the trouble to deny nothing. Your discernment is
       hardly fine enough for the perusal of faces, not of a kind as
       coarse as your speech; nor has it ever been, that I remember; or,
       in one face that I could name, you would have read indifference,
       not to say disgust, somewhat sooner than you did. I speak of a
       long time ago,--but you understand me.'
       'Disguise it as you will, you mean denial. Denial explicit or
       reserved, expressed or left to be inferred, is still a lie. You
       say you don't deny. Do you admit?'
       'You yourself,' returned Sir John, suffering the current of his
       speech to flow as smoothly as if it had been stemmed by no one word
       of interruption, 'publicly proclaimed the character of the
       gentleman in question (I think it was in Westminster Hall) in terms
       which relieve me from the necessity of making any further allusion
       to him. You may have been warranted; you may not have been; I
       can't say. Assuming the gentleman to be what you described, and
       to have made to you or any other person any statements that may
       have happened to suggest themselves to him, for the sake of his
       own security, or for the sake of money, or for his own amusement,
       or for any other consideration,--I have nothing to say of him,
       except that his extremely degrading situation appears to me to be
       shared with his employers. You are so very plain yourself, that
       you will excuse a little freedom in me, I am sure.'
       'Attend to me again, Sir John but once,' cried Mr Haredale; 'in
       your every look, and word, and gesture, you tell me this was not
       your act. I tell you that it was, and that you tampered with the
       man I speak of, and with your wretched son (whom God forgive!) to
       do this deed. You talk of degradation and character. You told me
       once that you had purchased the absence of the poor idiot and his
       mother, when (as I have discovered since, and then suspected) you
       had gone to tempt them, and had found them flown. To you I traced
       the insinuation that I alone reaped any harvest from my brother's
       death; and all the foul attacks and whispered calumnies that
       followed in its train. In every action of my life, from that first
       hope which you converted into grief and desolation, you have stood,
       like an adverse fate, between me and peace. In all, you have ever
       been the same cold-blooded, hollow, false, unworthy villain. For
       the second time, and for the last, I cast these charges in your
       teeth, and spurn you from me as I would a faithless dog!'
       With that he raised his arm, and struck him on the breast so that
       he staggered. Sir John, the instant he recovered, drew his sword,
       threw away the scabbard and his hat, and running on his adversary
       made a desperate lunge at his heart, which, but that his guard was
       quick and true, would have stretched him dead upon the grass.
       In the act of striking him, the torrent of his opponent's rage had
       reached a stop. He parried his rapid thrusts, without returning
       them, and called to him, with a frantic kind of terror in his face,
       to keep back.
       'Not to-night! not to-night!' he cried. 'In God's name, not
       tonight!'
       Seeing that he lowered his weapon, and that he would not thrust in
       turn, Sir John lowered his.
       'Not to-night!' his adversary cried. 'Be warned in time!'
       'You told me--it must have been in a sort of inspiration--' said
       Sir John, quite deliberately, though now he dropped his mask, and
       showed his hatred in his face, 'that this was the last time. Be
       assured it is! Did you believe our last meeting was forgotten?
       Did you believe that your every word and look was not to be
       accounted for, and was not well remembered? Do you believe that I
       have waited your time, or you mine? What kind of man is he who
       entered, with all his sickening cant of honesty and truth, into a
       bond with me to prevent a marriage he affected to dislike, and when
       I had redeemed my part to the spirit and the letter, skulked from
       his, and brought the match about in his own time, to rid himself of
       a burden he had grown tired of, and cast a spurious lustre on his
       house?'
       'I have acted,' cried Mr Haredale, 'with honour and in good faith.
       I do so now. Do not force me to renew this duel to-night!'
       'You said my "wretched" son, I think?' said Sir John, with a smile.
       'Poor fool! The dupe of such a shallow knave--trapped into
       marriage by such an uncle and by such a niece--he well deserves
       your pity. But he is no longer a son of mine: you are welcome to
       the prize your craft has made, sir.'
       'Once more,' cried his opponent, wildly stamping on the ground,
       'although you tear me from my better angel, I implore you not to
       come within the reach of my sword to-night. Oh! why were you here
       at all! Why have we met! To-morrow would have cast us far apart
       for ever!'
       'That being the case,' returned Sir John, without the least
       emotion, 'it is very fortunate we have met to-night. Haredale, I
       have always despised you, as you know, but I have given you credit
       for a species of brute courage. For the honour of my judgment,
       which I had thought a good one, I am sorry to find you a coward.'
       Not another word was spoken on either side. They crossed swords,
       though it was now quite dusk, and attacked each other fiercely.
       They were well matched, and each was thoroughly skilled in the
       management of his weapon.
       After a few seconds they grew hotter and more furious, and pressing
       on each other inflicted and received several slight wounds. It was
       directly after receiving one of these in his arm, that Mr Haredale,
       making a keener thrust as he felt the warm blood spirting out,
       plunged his sword through his opponent's body to the hilt.
       Their eyes met, and were on each other as he drew it out. He put
       his arm about the dying man, who repulsed him, feebly, and dropped
       upon the turf. Raising himself upon his hands, he gazed at him for
       an instant, with scorn and hatred in his look; but, seeming to
       remember, even then, that this expression would distort his
       features after death, he tried to smile, and, faintly moving his
       right hand, as if to hide his bloody linen in his vest, fell back
       dead--the phantom of last night. _