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The Innocents Abroad
CHAPTER LV
Mark Twain
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       _ Chapter 55 - Rebellion in the Camp--Charms of Nomadic Life--Dismal Rumors--En Route
       for Jericho and The Dead Sea--Pilgrim Strategy--Bethany and the Dwelling
       of Lazarus--"Bedouins!"--Ancient Jericho--Misery--The Night March--
       The Dead Sea--An Idea of What a "Wilderness" in Palestine is--The Holy
       hermits of Mars Saba--Good St. Saba--Women not Admitted--Buried from the
       World for all Time--Unselfish Catholic Benevolence--Gazelles--The Plain
       of the Shepherds--Birthplace of the Saviour, Bethlehem--Church of the
       Nativity--Its Hundred Holy Places--The Famous "Milk" Grotto--Tradition--
       Return to Jerusalem--Exhausted
       We cast up the account. It footed up pretty fairly. There was nothing
       more at Jerusalem to be seen, except the traditional houses of Dives and
       Lazarus of the parable, the Tombs of the Kings, and those of the Judges;
       the spot where they stoned one of the disciples to death, and beheaded
       another; the room and the table made celebrated by the Last Supper; the
       fig-tree that Jesus withered; a number of historical places about
       Gethsemane and the Mount of Olives, and fifteen or twenty others in
       different portions of the city itself.
       We were approaching the end. Human nature asserted itself, now.
       Overwork and consequent exhaustion began to have their natural effect.
       They began to master the energies and dull the ardor of the party.
       Perfectly secure now, against failing to accomplish any detail of the
       pilgrimage, they felt like drawing in advance upon the holiday soon to be
       placed to their credit. They grew a little lazy. They were late to
       breakfast and sat long at dinner. Thirty or forty pilgrims had arrived
       from the ship, by the short routes, and much swapping of gossip had to be
       indulged in. And in hot afternoons, they showed a strong disposition to
       lie on the cool divans in the hotel and smoke and talk about pleasant
       experiences of a month or so gone by--for even thus early do episodes of
       travel which were sometimes annoying, sometimes exasperating and full as
       often of no consequence at all when they transpired, begin to rise above
       the dead level of monotonous reminiscences and become shapely landmarks
       in one's memory. The fog-whistle, smothered among a million of trifling
       sounds, is not noticed a block away, in the city, but the sailor hears it
       far at sea, whither none of those thousands of trifling sounds can reach.
       When one is in Rome, all the domes are alike; but when he has gone away
       twelve miles, the city fades utterly from sight and leaves St. Peter's
       swelling above the level plain like an anchored balloon. When one is
       traveling in Europe, the daily incidents seem all alike; but when he has
       placed them all two months and two thousand miles behind him, those that
       were worthy of being remembered are prominent, and those that were really
       insignificant have vanished. This disposition to smoke, and idle and
       talk, was not well. It was plain that it must not be allowed to gain
       ground. A diversion must be tried, or demoralization would ensue. The
       Jordan, Jericho and the Dead Sea were suggested. The remainder of
       Jerusalem must be left unvisited, for a little while. The journey was
       approved at once. New life stirred in every pulse. In the saddle--
       abroad on the plains--sleeping in beds bounded only by the horizon: fancy
       was at work with these things in a moment.--It was painful to note how
       readily these town-bred men had taken to the free life of the camp and
       the desert The nomadic instinct is a human instinct; it was born with
       Adam and transmitted through the patriarchs, and after thirty centuries
       of steady effort, civilization has not educated it entirely out of us
       yet. It has a charm which, once tasted, a man will yearn to taste again.
       The nomadic instinct can not be educated out of an Indian at all.
       The Jordan journey being approved, our dragoman was notified.
       At nine in the morning the caravan was before the hotel door and we were
       at breakfast. There was a commotion about the place. Rumors of war and
       bloodshed were flying every where. The lawless Bedouins in the Valley of
       the Jordan and the deserts down by the Dead Sea were up in arms, and were
       going to destroy all comers. They had had a battle with a troop of
       Turkish cavalry and defeated them; several men killed. They had shut up
       the inhabitants of a village and a Turkish garrison in an old fort near
       Jericho, and were besieging them. They had marched upon a camp of our
       excursionists by the Jordan, and the pilgrims only saved their lives by
       stealing away and flying to Jerusalem under whip and spur in the darkness
       of the night. Another of our parties had been fired on from an ambush
       and then attacked in the open day. Shots were fired on both sides.
       Fortunately there was no bloodshed. We spoke with the very pilgrim who
       had fired one of the shots, and learned from his own lips how, in this
       imminent deadly peril, only the cool courage of the pilgrims, their
       strength of numbers and imposing display of war material, had saved them
       from utter destruction. It was reported that the Consul had requested
       that no more of our pilgrims should go to the Jordan while this state of
       things lasted; and further, that he was unwilling that any more should
       go, at least without an unusually strong military guard. Here was
       trouble. But with the horses at the door and every body aware of what
       they were there for, what would you have done? Acknowledged that you
       were afraid, and backed shamefully out? Hardly. It would not be human
       nature, where there were so many women. You would have done as we did:
       said you were not afraid of a million Bedouins--and made your will and
       proposed quietly to yourself to take up an unostentatious position in the
       rear of the procession.
       I think we must all have determined upon the same line of tactics, for it
       did seem as if we never would get to Jericho. I had a notoriously slow
       horse, but somehow I could not keep him in the rear, to save my neck.
       He was forever turning up in the lead. In such cases I trembled a
       little, and got down to fix my saddle. But it was not of any use. The
       others all got down to fix their saddles, too. I never saw such a time
       with saddles. It was the first time any of them had got out of order in
       three weeks, and now they had all broken down at once. I tried walking,
       for exercise--I had not had enough in Jerusalem searching for holy
       places. But it was a failure. The whole mob were suffering for
       exercise, and it was not fifteen minutes till they were all on foot and I
       had the lead again. It was very discouraging.
       This was all after we got beyond Bethany. We stopped at the village of
       Bethany, an hour out from Jerusalem. They showed us the tomb of Lazarus.
       I had rather live in it than in any house in the town. And they showed
       us also a large "Fountain of Lazarus," and in the centre of the village
       the ancient dwelling of Lazarus. Lazarus appears to have been a man of
       property. The legends of the Sunday Schools do him great injustice; they
       give one the impression that he was poor. It is because they get him
       confused with that Lazarus who had no merit but his virtue, and virtue
       never has been as respectable as money. The house of Lazarus is a three-
       story edifice, of stone masonry, but the accumulated rubbish of ages has
       buried all of it but the upper story. We took candles and descended to
       the dismal cell-like chambers where Jesus sat at meat with Martha and
       Mary, and conversed with them about their brother. We could not but look
       upon these old dingy apartments with a more than common interest.
       We had had a glimpse, from a mountain top, of the Dead Sea, lying like a
       blue shield in the plain of the Jordan, and now we were marching down a
       close, flaming, rugged, desolate defile, where no living creature could
       enjoy life, except, perhaps, a salamander. It was such a dreary,
       repulsive, horrible solitude! It was the "wilderness" where John
       preached, with camel's hair about his loins--raiment enough--but he never
       could have got his locusts and wild honey here. We were moping along
       down through this dreadful place, every man in the rear. Our guards--two
       gorgeous young Arab sheiks, with cargoes of swords, guns, pistols and
       daggers on board--were loafing ahead.
       "Bedouins!"
       Every man shrunk up and disappeared in his clothes like a mud-turtle.
       My first impulse was to dash forward and destroy the Bedouins. My second
       was to dash to the rear to see if there were any coming in that
       direction. I acted on the latter impulse. So did all the others. If
       any Bedouins had approached us, then, from that point of the compass,
       they would have paid dearly for their rashness. We all remarked that,
       afterwards. There would have been scenes of riot and bloodshed there
       that no pen could describe. I know that, because each man told what he
       would have done, individually; and such a medley of strange and unheard-
       of inventions of cruelty you could not conceive of. One man said he had
       calmly made up his mind to perish where he stood, if need be, but never
       yield an inch; he was going to wait, with deadly patience, till he could
       count the stripes upon the first Bedouin's jacket, and then count them
       and let him have it. Another was going to sit still till the first lance
       reached within an inch of his breast, and then dodge it and seize it. I
       forbear to tell what he was going to do to that Bedouin that owned it.
       It makes my blood run cold to think of it. Another was going to scalp
       such Bedouins as fell to his share, and take his bald-headed sons of the
       desert home with him alive for trophies. But the wild-eyed pilgrim
       rhapsodist was silent. His orbs gleamed with a deadly light, but his
       lips moved not. Anxiety grew, and he was questioned. If he had got a
       Bedouin, what would he have done with him--shot him? He smiled a smile
       of grim contempt and shook his head. Would he have stabbed him? Another
       shake. Would he have quartered him--flayed him? More shakes. Oh!
       horror what would he have done?
       "Eat him!"
       Such was the awful sentence that thundered from his lips. What was
       grammar to a desperado like that? I was glad in my heart that I had been
       spared these scenes of malignant carnage. No Bedouins attacked our
       terrible rear. And none attacked the front. The new-comers were only a
       reinforcement of cadaverous Arabs, in shirts and bare legs, sent far
       ahead of us to brandish rusty guns, and shout and brag, and carry on like
       lunatics, and thus scare away all bands of marauding Bedouins that might
       lurk about our path. What a shame it is that armed white Christians must
       travel under guard of vermin like this as a protection against the
       prowling vagabonds of the desert--those sanguinary outlaws who are always
       going to do something desperate, but never do it. I may as well mention
       here that on our whole trip we saw no Bedouins, and had no more use for
       an Arab guard than we could have had for patent leather boots and white
       kid gloves. The Bedouins that attacked the other parties of pilgrims so
       fiercely were provided for the occasion by the Arab guards of those
       parties, and shipped from Jerusalem for temporary service as Bedouins.
       They met together in full view of the pilgrims, after the battle, and
       took lunch, divided the bucksheesh extorted in the season of danger, and
       then accompanied the cavalcade home to the city! The nuisance of an Arab
       guard is one which is created by the Sheiks and the Bedouins together,
       for mutual profit, it is said, and no doubt there is a good deal of truth
       in it.
       We visited the fountain the prophet Elisha sweetened (it is sweet yet,)
       where he remained some time and was fed by the ravens.
       Ancient Jericho is not very picturesque as a ruin. When Joshua marched
       around it seven times, some three thousand years ago, and blew it down
       with his trumpet, he did the work so well and so completely that he
       hardly left enough of the city to cast a shadow. The curse pronounced
       against the rebuilding of it, has never been removed. One King, holding
       the curse in light estimation, made the attempt, but was stricken sorely
       for his presumption. Its site will always remain unoccupied; and yet it
       is one of the very best locations for a town we have seen in all
       Palestine.
       At two in the morning they routed us out of bed--another piece of
       unwarranted cruelty--another stupid effort of our dragoman to get ahead
       of a rival. It was not two hours to the Jordan. However, we were
       dressed and under way before any one thought of looking to see what time
       it was, and so we drowsed on through the chill night air and dreamed of
       camp fires, warm beds, and other comfortable things.
       There was no conversation. People do not talk when they are cold, and
       wretched, and sleepy. We nodded in the saddle, at times, and woke up
       with a start to find that the procession had disappeared in the gloom.
       Then there was energy and attention to business until its dusky outlines
       came in sight again. Occasionally the order was passed in a low voice
       down the line: "Close up--close up! Bedouins lurk here, every where!"
       What an exquisite shudder it sent shivering along one's spine!
       We reached the famous river before four o'clock, and the night was so
       black that we could have ridden into it without seeing it. Some of us
       were in an unhappy frame of mind. We waited and waited for daylight, but
       it did not come. Finally we went away in the dark and slept an hour on
       the ground, in the bushes, and caught cold. It was a costly nap, on that
       account, but otherwise it was a paying investment because it brought
       unconsciousness of the dreary minutes and put us in a somewhat fitter
       mood for a first glimpse of the sacred river.
       With the first suspicion of dawn, every pilgrim took off his clothes and
       waded into the dark torrent, singing:
       "On Jordan's stormy banks I stand,
       And cast a wistful eye
       To Canaan's fair and happy land,
       Where my possessions lie."
       But they did not sing long. The water was so fearfully cold that they
       were obliged to stop singing and scamper out again. Then they stood on
       the bank shivering, and so chagrined and so grieved, that they merited
       holiest compassion. Because another dream, another cherished hope, had
       failed. They had promised themselves all along that they would cross the
       Jordan where the Israelites crossed it when they entered Canaan from
       their long pilgrimage in the desert. They would cross where the twelve
       stones were placed in memory of that great event. While they did it they
       would picture to themselves that vast army of pilgrims marching through
       the cloven waters, bearing the hallowed ark of the covenant and shouting
       hosannahs, and singing songs of thanksgiving and praise. Each had
       promised himself that he would be the first to cross. They were at the
       goal of their hopes at last, but the current was too swift, the water was
       too cold!
       It was then that Jack did them a service. With that engaging
       recklessness of consequences which is natural to youth, and so proper and
       so seemly, as well, he went and led the way across the Jordan, and all
       was happiness again. Every individual waded over, then, and stood upon
       the further bank. The water was not quite breast deep, any where. If it
       had been more, we could hardly have accomplished the feat, for the strong
       current would have swept us down the stream, and we would have been
       exhausted and drowned before reaching a place where we could make a
       landing. The main object compassed, the drooping, miserable party sat
       down to wait for the sun again, for all wanted to see the water as well
       as feel it. But it was too cold a pastime. Some cans were filled from
       the holy river, some canes cut from its banks, and then we mounted and
       rode reluctantly away to keep from freezing to death. So we saw the
       Jordan very dimly. The thickets of bushes that bordered its banks threw
       their shadows across its shallow, turbulent waters ("stormy," the hymn
       makes them, which is rather a complimentary stretch of fancy,) and we
       could not judge of the width of the stream by the eye. We knew by our
       wading experience, however, that many streets in America are double as
       wide as the Jordan.
       Daylight came, soon after we got under way, and in the course of an hour
       or two we reached the Dead Sea. Nothing grows in the flat, burning
       desert around it but weeds and the Dead Sea apple the poets say is
       beautiful to the eye, but crumbles to ashes and dust when you break it.
       Such as we found were not handsome, but they were bitter to the taste.
       They yielded no dust. It was because they were not ripe, perhaps.
       The desert and the barren hills gleam painfully in the sun, around the
       Dead Sea, and there is no pleasant thing or living creature upon it or
       about its borders to cheer the eye. It is a scorching, arid, repulsive
       solitude. A silence broods over the scene that is depressing to the
       spirits. It makes one think of funerals and death.
       The Dead Sea is small. Its waters are very clear, and it has a pebbly
       bottom and is shallow for some distance out from the shores. It yields
       quantities of asphaltum; fragments of it lie all about its banks; this
       stuff gives the place something of an unpleasant smell.
       All our reading had taught us to expect that the first plunge into the
       Dead Sea would be attended with distressing results--our bodies would
       feel as if they were suddenly pierced by millions of red-hot needles; the
       dreadful smarting would continue for hours; we might even look to be
       blistered from head to foot, and suffer miserably for many days. We were
       disappointed. Our eight sprang in at the same time that another party of
       pilgrims did, and nobody screamed once. None of them ever did complain
       of any thing more than a slight pricking sensation in places where their
       skin was abraded, and then only for a short time. My face smarted for a
       couple of hours, but it was partly because I got it badly sun-burned
       while I was bathing, and staid in so long that it became plastered over
       with salt.
       No, the water did not blister us; it did not cover us with a slimy ooze
       and confer upon us an atrocious fragrance; it was not very slimy; and I
       could not discover that we smelt really any worse than we have always
       smelt since we have been in Palestine. It was only a different kind of
       smell, but not conspicuous on that account, because we have a great deal
       of variety in that respect. We didn't smell, there on the Jordan, the
       same as we do in Jerusalem; and we don't smell in Jerusalem just as we
       did in Nazareth, or Tiberias, or Cesarea Philippi, or any of those other
       ruinous ancient towns in Galilee. No, we change all the time, and
       generally for the worse. We do our own washing.
       It was a funny bath. We could not sink. One could stretch himself at
       full length on his back, with his arms on his breast, and all of his body
       above a line drawn from the corner of his jaw past the middle of his
       side, the middle of his leg and through his ancle bone, would remain out
       of water. He could lift his head clear out, if he chose. No position
       can be retained long; you lose your balance and whirl over, first on your
       back and then on your face, and so on. You can lie comfortably, on your
       back, with your head out, and your legs out from your knees down, by
       steadying yourself with your hands. You can sit, with your knees drawn
       up to your chin and your arms clasped around them, but you are bound to
       turn over presently, because you are top-heavy in that position. You can
       stand up straight in water that is over your head, and from the middle of
       your breast upward you will not be wet. But you can not remain so. The
       water will soon float your feet to the surface. You can not swim on your
       back and make any progress of any consequence, because your feet stick
       away above the surface, and there is nothing to propel yourself with but
       your heels. If you swim on your face, you kick up the water like a
       stern-wheel boat. You make no headway. A horse is so top-heavy that he
       can neither swim nor stand up in the Dead Sea. He turns over on his side
       at once. Some of us bathed for more than an hour, and then came out
       coated with salt till we shone like icicles. We scrubbed it off with a
       coarse towel and rode off with a splendid brand-new smell, though it was
       one which was not any more disagreeable than those we have been for
       several weeks enjoying. It was the variegated villainy and novelty of it
       that charmed us. Salt crystals glitter in the sun about the shores of
       the lake. In places they coat the ground like a brilliant crust of ice.
       When I was a boy I somehow got the impression that the river Jordan was
       four thousand miles long and thirty-five miles wide. It is only ninety
       miles long, and so crooked that a man does not know which side of it he
       is on half the time. In going ninety miles it does not get over more
       than fifty miles of ground. It is not any wider than Broadway in New
       York.
       There is the Sea of Galilee and this Dead Sea--neither of them twenty
       miles long or thirteen wide. And yet when I was in Sunday School I
       thought they were sixty thousand miles in diameter.
       Travel and experience mar the grandest pictures and rob us of the most
       cherished traditions of our boyhood. Well, let them go. I have already
       seen the Empire of King Solomon diminish to the size of the State of
       Pennsylvania; I suppose I can bear the reduction of the seas and the
       river.
       We looked every where, as we passed along, but never saw grain or crystal
       of Lot's wife. It was a great disappointment. For many and many a year
       we had known her sad story, and taken that interest in her which
       misfortune always inspires. But she was gone. Her picturesque form no
       longer looms above the desert of the Dead Sea to remind the tourist of
       the doom that fell upon the lost cities.
       I can not describe the hideous afternoon's ride from the Dead Sea to Mars
       Saba. It oppresses me yet, to think of it. The sun so pelted us that
       the tears ran down our cheeks once or twice. The ghastly, treeless,
       grassless, breathless canons smothered us as if we had been in an oven.
       The sun had positive weight to it, I think. Not a man could sit erect
       under it. All drooped low in the saddles. John preached in this
       "Wilderness!" It must have been exhausting work. What a very heaven the
       messy towers and ramparts of vast Mars Saba looked to us when we caught a
       first glimpse of them!
       We staid at this great convent all night, guests of the hospitable
       priests. Mars Saba, perched upon a crag, a human nest stock high up
       against a perpendicular mountain wall, is a world of grand masonry that
       rises, terrace upon terrace away above your head, like the terraced and
       retreating colonnades one sees in fanciful pictures of Belshazzar's Feast
       and the palaces of the ancient Pharaohs. No other human dwelling is
       near. It was founded many ages ago by a holy recluse who lived at first
       in a cave in the rock--a cave which is inclosed in the convent walls,
       now, and was reverently shown to us by the priests. This recluse, by his
       rigorous torturing of his flesh, his diet of bread and water, his utter
       withdrawal from all society and from the vanities of the world, and his
       constant prayer and saintly contemplation of a skull, inspired an
       emulation that brought about him many disciples. The precipice on the
       opposite side of the canyon is well perforated with the small holes they
       dug in the rock to live in. The present occupants of Mars Saba, about
       seventy in number, are all hermits. They wear a coarse robe, an ugly,
       brimless stove-pipe of a hat, and go without shoes. They eat nothing
       whatever but bread and salt; they drink nothing but water. As long as
       they live they can never go outside the walls, or look upon a woman--for
       no woman is permitted to enter Mars Saba, upon any pretext whatsoever.
       Some of those men have been shut up there for thirty years. In all that
       dreary time they have not heard the laughter of a child or the blessed
       voice of a woman; they have seen no human tears, no human smiles; they
       have known no human joys, no wholesome human sorrows. In their hearts
       are no memories of the past, in their brains no dreams of the future.
       All that is lovable, beautiful, worthy, they have put far away from them;
       against all things that are pleasant to look upon, and all sounds that
       are music to the ear, they have barred their massive doors and reared
       their relentless walls of stone forever. They have banished the tender
       grace of life and left only the sapped and skinny mockery. Their lips
       are lips that never kiss and never sing; their hearts are hearts that
       never hate and never love; their breasts are breasts that never swell
       with the sentiment, "I have a country and a flag." They are dead men who
       walk.
       I set down these first thoughts because they are natural--not because
       they are just or because it is right to set them down. It is easy for
       book-makers to say "I thought so and so as I looked upon such and such a
       scene"--when the truth is, they thought all those fine things afterwards.
       One's first thought is not likely to be strictly accurate, yet it is no
       crime to think it and none to write it down, subject to modification by
       later experience. These hermits are dead men, in several respects, but
       not in all; and it is not proper, that, thinking ill of them at first, I
       should go on doing so, or, speaking ill of them I should reiterate the
       words and stick to them. No, they treated us too kindly for that. There
       is something human about them somewhere. They knew we were foreigners
       and Protestants, and not likely to feel admiration or much friendliness
       toward them. But their large charity was above considering such things.
       They simply saw in us men who were hungry, and thirsty, and tired, and
       that was sufficient. They opened their doors and gave us welcome. They
       asked no questions, and they made no self-righteous display of their
       hospitality. They fished for no compliments. They moved quietly about,
       setting the table for us, making the beds, and bringing water to wash in,
       and paid no heed when we said it was wrong for them to do that when we
       had men whose business it was to perform such offices. We fared most
       comfortably, and sat late at dinner. We walked all over the building
       with the hermits afterward, and then sat on the lofty battlements and
       smoked while we enjoyed the cool air, the wild scenery and the sunset.
       One or two chose cosy bed-rooms to sleep in, but the nomadic instinct
       prompted the rest to sleep on the broad divan that extended around the
       great hall, because it seemed like sleeping out of doors, and so was more
       cheery and inviting. It was a royal rest we had.
       When we got up to breakfast in the morning, we were new men. For all
       this hospitality no strict charge was made. We could give something if
       we chose; we need give nothing, if we were poor or if we were stingy.
       The pauper and the miser are as free as any in the Catholic Convents of
       Palestine. I have been educated to enmity toward every thing that is
       Catholic, and sometimes, in consequence of this, I find it much easier to
       discover Catholic faults than Catholic merits. But there is one thing I
       feel no disposition to overlook, and no disposition to forget: and that
       is, the honest gratitude I and all pilgrims owe, to the Convent Fathers
       in Palestine. Their doors are always open, and there is always a welcome
       for any worthy man who comes, whether he comes in rags or clad in purple.
       The Catholic Convents are a priceless blessing to the poor. A pilgrim
       without money, whether he be a Protestant or a Catholic, can travel the
       length and breadth of Palestine, and in the midst of her desert wastes
       find wholesome food and a clean bed every night, in these buildings.
       Pilgrims in better circumstances are often stricken down by the sun and
       the fevers of the country, and then their saving refuge is the Convent.
       Without these hospitable retreats, travel in Palestine would be a
       pleasure which none but the strongest men could dare to undertake. Our
       party, pilgrims and all, will always be ready and always willing, to
       touch glasses and drink health, prosperity and long life to the Convent
       Fathers of Palestine.
       So, rested and refreshed, we fell into line and filed away over the
       barren mountains of Judea, and along rocky ridges and through sterile
       gorges, where eternal silence and solitude reigned. Even the scattering
       groups of armed shepherds we met the afternoon before, tending their
       flocks of long-haired goats, were wanting here. We saw but two living
       creatures. They were gazelles, of "soft-eyed" notoriety. They looked
       like very young kids, but they annihilated distance like an express
       train. I have not seen animals that moved faster, unless I might say it
       of the antelopes of our own great plains.
       At nine or ten in the morning we reached the Plain of the Shepherds, and
       stood in a walled garden of olives where the shepherds were watching
       their flocks by night, eighteen centuries ago, when the multitude of
       angels brought them the tidings that the Saviour was born. A quarter of
       a mile away was Bethlehem of Judea, and the pilgrims took some of the
       stone wall and hurried on.
       The Plain of the Shepherds is a desert, paved with loose stones, void of
       vegetation, glaring in the fierce sun. Only the music of the angels it
       knew once could charm its shrubs and flowers to life again and restore
       its vanished beauty. No less potent enchantment could avail to work this
       miracle.
       In the huge Church of the Nativity, in Bethlehem, built fifteen hundred
       years ago by the inveterate St. Helena, they took us below ground, and
       into a grotto cut in the living rock. This was the "manger" where Christ
       was born. A silver star set in the floor bears a Latin inscription to
       that effect. It is polished with the kisses of many generations of
       worshiping pilgrims. The grotto was tricked out in the usual tasteless
       style observable in all the holy places of Palestine. As in the Church
       of the Holy Sepulchre, envy and uncharitableness were apparent here. The
       priests and the members of the Greek and Latin churches can not come by
       the same corridor to kneel in the sacred birthplace of the Redeemer, but
       are compelled to approach and retire by different avenues, lest they
       quarrel and fight on this holiest ground on earth.
       I have no "meditations," suggested by this spot where the very first
       "Merry Christmas!" was uttered in all the world, and from whence the
       friend of my childhood, Santa Claus, departed on his first journey, to
       gladden and continue to gladden roaring firesides on wintry mornings in
       many a distant land forever and forever. I touch, with reverent finger,
       the actual spot where the infant Jesus lay, but I think--nothing.
       You can not think in this place any more than you can in any other in
       Palestine that would be likely to inspire reflection. Beggars, cripples
       and monks compass you about, and make you think only of bucksheesh when
       you would rather think of something more in keeping with the character of
       the spot.
       I was glad to get away, and glad when we had walked through the grottoes
       where Eusebius wrote, and Jerome fasted, and Joseph prepared for the
       flight into Egypt, and the dozen other distinguished grottoes, and knew
       we were done. The Church of the Nativity is almost as well packed with
       exceeding holy places as the Church of the Holy Sepulchre itself. They
       even have in it a grotto wherein twenty thousand children were
       slaughtered by Herod when he was seeking the life of the infant Saviour.
       We went to the Milk Grotto, of course--a cavern where Mary hid herself
       for a while before the flight into Egypt. Its walls were black before
       she entered, but in suckling the Child, a drop of her milk fell upon the
       floor and instantly changed the darkness of the walls to its own snowy
       hue. We took many little fragments of stone from here, because it is
       well known in all the East that a barren woman hath need only to touch
       her lips to one of these and her failing will depart from her. We took
       many specimens, to the end that we might confer happiness upon certain
       households that we wot of.
       We got away from Bethlehem and its troops of beggars and relic-peddlers
       in the afternoon, and after spending some little time at Rachel's tomb,
       hurried to Jerusalem as fast as possible. I never was so glad to get
       home again before. I never have enjoyed rest as I have enjoyed it during
       these last few hours. The journey to the Dead Sea, the Jordan and
       Bethlehem was short, but it was an exhausting one. Such roasting heat,
       such oppressive solitude, and such dismal desolation can not surely exist
       elsewhere on earth. And such fatigue!
       The commonest sagacity warns me that I ought to tell the customary
       pleasant lie, and say I tore myself reluctantly away from every noted
       place in Palestine. Every body tells that, but with as little
       ostentation as I may, I doubt the word of every he who tells it. I could
       take a dreadful oath that I have never heard any one of our forty
       pilgrims say any thing of the sort, and they are as worthy and as
       sincerely devout as any that come here. They will say it when they get
       home, fast enough, but why should they not? They do not wish to array
       themselves against all the Lamartines and Grimeses in the world. It does
       not stand to reason that men are reluctant to leave places where the very
       life is almost badgered out of them by importunate swarms of beggars and
       peddlers who hang in strings to one's sleeves and coat-tails and shriek
       and shout in his ears and horrify his vision with the ghastly sores and
       malformations they exhibit. One is glad to get away. I have heard
       shameless people say they were glad to get away from Ladies' Festivals
       where they were importuned to buy by bevies of lovely young ladies.
       Transform those houris into dusky hags and ragged savages, and replace
       their rounded forms with shrunken and knotted distortions, their soft
       hands with scarred and hideous deformities, and the persuasive music of
       their voices with the discordant din of a hated language, and then see
       how much lingering reluctance to leave could be mustered. No, it is the
       neat thing to say you were reluctant, and then append the profound
       thoughts that "struggled for utterance," in your brain; but it is the
       true thing to say you were not reluctant, and found it impossible to
       think at all--though in good sooth it is not respectable to say it, and
       not poetical, either.
       We do not think, in the holy places; we think in bed, afterwards, when
       the glare, and the noise, and the confusion are gone, and in fancy we
       revisit alone, the solemn monuments of the past, and summon the phantom
       pageants of an age that has passed away. _