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The Innocents Abroad
CHAPTER XXXIX
Mark Twain
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       _ Chapter 39 - Smyrna's Lions--The Martyr Polycarp--The "Seven Churches"--Remains of the
       Six Smyrnas--Mysterious Oyster Mine Oysters--Seeking Scenery--A Millerite
       Tradition--A Railroad Out of its Sphere
       We inquired, and learned that the lions of Smyrna consisted of the ruins
       of the ancient citadel, whose broken and prodigious battlements frown
       upon the city from a lofty hill just in the edge of the town--the Mount
       Pagus of Scripture, they call it; the site of that one of the Seven
       Apocalyptic Churches of Asia which was located here in the first century
       of the Christian era; and the grave and the place of martyrdom of the
       venerable Polycarp, who suffered in Smyrna for his religion some eighteen
       hundred years ago.
       We took little donkeys and started. We saw Polycarp's tomb, and then
       hurried on.
       The "Seven Churches"--thus they abbreviate it--came next on the list. We
       rode there--about a mile and a half in the sweltering sun--and visited a
       little Greek church which they said was built upon the ancient site; and
       we paid a small fee, and the holy attendant gave each of us a little wax
       candle as a remembrancer of the place, and I put mine in my hat and the
       sun melted it and the grease all ran down the back of my neck; and so now
       I have not any thing left but the wick, and it is a sorry and a wilted-
       looking wick at that.
       Several of us argued as well as we could that the "church" mentioned in
       the Bible meant a party of Christians, and not a building; that the Bible
       spoke of them as being very poor--so poor, I thought, and so subject to
       persecution (as per Polycarp's martyrdom) that in the first place they
       probably could not have afforded a church edifice, and in the second
       would not have dared to build it in the open light of day if they could;
       and finally, that if they had had the privilege of building it, common
       judgment would have suggested that they build it somewhere near the town.
       But the elders of the ship's family ruled us down and scouted our
       evidences. However, retribution came to them afterward. They found that
       they had been led astray and had gone to the wrong place; they discovered
       that the accepted site is in the city.
       Riding through the town, we could see marks of the six Smyrnas that have
       existed here and been burned up by fire or knocked down by earthquakes.
       The hills and the rocks are rent asunder in places, excavations expose
       great blocks of building-stone that have lain buried for ages, and all
       the mean houses and walls of modern Smyrna along the way are spotted
       white with broken pillars, capitals and fragments of sculptured marble
       that once adorned the lordly palaces that were the glory of the city in
       the olden time.
       The ascent of the hill of the citadel is very steep, and we proceeded
       rather slowly. But there were matters of interest about us. In one
       place, five hundred feet above the sea, the perpendicular bank on the
       upper side of the road was ten or fifteen feet high, and the cut exposed
       three veins of oyster shells, just as we have seen quartz veins exposed
       in the cutting of a road in Nevada or Montana. The veins were about
       eighteen inches thick and two or three feet apart, and they slanted along
       downward for a distance of thirty feet or more, and then disappeared
       where the cut joined the road. Heaven only knows how far a man might
       trace them by "stripping." They were clean, nice oyster shells, large,
       and just like any other oyster shells. They were thickly massed
       together, and none were scattered above or below the veins. Each one was
       a well-defined lead by itself, and without a spur. My first instinct was
       to set up the usual--
       NOTICE:
       "We, the undersigned, claim five claims of two hundred feet each,
       (and one for discovery,) on this ledge or lode of oyster-shells,
       with all its dips, spurs, angles, variations and sinuosities, and
       fifty feet on each side of the same, to work it, etc., etc.,
       according to the mining laws of Smyrna."
       They were such perfectly natural-looking leads that I could hardly keep
       from "taking them up." Among the oyster-shells were mixed many fragments
       of ancient, broken crockery ware. Now how did those masses of oyster-
       shells get there? I can not determine. Broken crockery and oyster-
       shells are suggestive of restaurants--but then they could have had no
       such places away up there on that mountain side in our time, because
       nobody has lived up there. A restaurant would not pay in such a stony,
       forbidding, desolate place. And besides, there were no champagne corks
       among the shells. If there ever was a restaurant there, it must have
       been in Smyrna's palmy days, when the hills were covered with palaces.
       I could believe in one restaurant, on those terms; but then how about the
       three? Did they have restaurants there at three different periods of the
       world?--because there are two or three feet of solid earth between the
       oyster leads. Evidently, the restaurant solution will not answer.
       The hill might have been the bottom of the sea, once, and been lifted up,
       with its oyster-beds, by an earthquake--but, then, how about the
       crockery? And moreover, how about three oyster beds, one above another,
       and thick strata of good honest earth between?
       That theory will not do. It is just possible that this hill is Mount
       Ararat, and that Noah's Ark rested here, and he ate oysters and threw the
       shells overboard. But that will not do, either. There are the three
       layers again and the solid earth between--and, besides, there were only
       eight in Noah's family, and they could not have eaten all these oysters
       in the two or three months they staid on top of that mountain. The
       beasts--however, it is simply absurd to suppose he did not know any more
       than to feed the beasts on oyster suppers.
       It is painful--it is even humiliating--but I am reduced at last to one
       slender theory: that the oysters climbed up there of their own accord.
       But what object could they have had in view?--what did they want up
       there? What could any oyster want to climb a hill for? To climb a hill
       must necessarily be fatiguing and annoying exercise for an oyster. The
       most natural conclusion would be that the oysters climbed up there to
       look at the scenery. Yet when one comes to reflect upon the nature of an
       oyster, it seems plain that he does not care for scenery. An oyster has
       no taste for such things; he cares nothing for the beautiful. An oyster
       is of a retiring disposition, and not lively--not even cheerful above the
       average, and never enterprising. But above all, an oyster does not take
       any interest in scenery--he scorns it. What have I arrived at now?
       Simply at the point I started from, namely, those oyster shells are
       there, in regular layers, five hundred feet above the sea, and no man
       knows how they got there. I have hunted up the guide-books, and the gist
       of what they say is this: "They are there, but how they got there is a
       mystery."
       Twenty-five years ago, a multitude of people in America put on their
       ascension robes, took a tearful leave of their friends, and made ready to
       fly up into heaven at the first blast of the trumpet. But the angel did
       not blow it. Miller's resurrection day was a failure. The Millerites
       were disgusted. I did not suspect that there were Millers in Asia Minor,
       but a gentleman tells me that they had it all set for the world to come
       to an end in Smyrna one day about three years ago. There was much
       buzzing and preparation for a long time previously, and it culminated in
       a wild excitement at the appointed time. A vast number of the populace
       ascended the citadel hill early in the morning, to get out of the way of
       the general destruction, and many of the infatuated closed up their shops
       and retired from all earthly business. But the strange part of it was
       that about three in the afternoon, while this gentleman and his friends
       were at dinner in the hotel, a terrific storm of rain, accompanied by
       thunder and lightning, broke forth and continued with dire fury for two
       or three hours. It was a thing unprecedented in Smyrna at that time of
       the year, and scared some of the most skeptical. The streets ran rivers
       and the hotel floor was flooded with water. The dinner had to be
       suspended. When the storm finished and left every body drenched through
       and through, and melancholy and half-drowned, the ascensionists came down
       from the mountain as dry as so many charity-sermons! They had been
       looking down upon the fearful storm going on below, and really believed
       that their proposed destruction of the world was proving a grand success.
       A railway here in Asia--in the dreamy realm of the Orient--in the fabled
       land of the Arabian Nights--is a strange thing to think of. And yet they
       have one already, and are building another. The present one is well
       built and well conducted, by an English Company, but is not doing an
       immense amount of business. The first year it carried a good many
       passengers, but its freight list only comprised eight hundred pounds of
       figs!
       It runs almost to the very gates of Ephesus--a town great in all ages of
       the world--a city familiar to readers of the Bible, and one which was as
       old as the very hills when the disciples of Christ preached in its
       streets. It dates back to the shadowy ages of tradition, and was the
       birthplace of gods renowned in Grecian mythology. The idea of a
       locomotive tearing through such a place as this, and waking the phantoms
       of its old days of romance out of their dreams of dead and gone
       centuries, is curious enough.
       We journey thither tomorrow to see the celebrated ruins. _