_ Don't put all your eggs in one basket--try an incubator.
=CAB= Affair for a drive.
=CABBY= Driver for a fare.
* * * * *
=CACHINNATION= The hysterical "Ha-Ha." Syn. for Carrie Nation.
* * * * *
=CADDIE= A small boy, employed at a liberal stipend to lose balls for others and find them for himself.
* * * * *
=CAFE= A place where the public pays the proprietor for the privilege of tipping the waiters for something to eat.
* * * * *
=CAJOLE= v. t., From Grk.
kalos, beautiful, and Eng.
jolly, to jolly beautifully.
* * * * *
=CALCIUM= An earthly light that brightens even the stars.
* * * * *
=CANNIBAL= A heathen hobo who never works, but lives on other people.
* * * * *
=CAPTIVATE= From Lat.
caput, head, and Eng.
vacate, or empty,--to empty the head. Note, Women who have captivated men.
* * * * *
=CAPE= A neck in the sea.
=CAPER= A foot in the air.
* * * * *
=CARNEGIE-ITIS= A mania for burning money. Contracted in a Pennsylvania blast furnace, developed in a Scotch castle and now epidemic in American public libraries.
* * * * *
=CART= v. t., To take off.
=CARTOON= The take-off.
* * * * *
=CAULIFLOWER= A Cabbage with a college education.
* * * * *
=CAVALRY= That arm of the military service that engages in the real hoss-tilities.
* * * * *
=CEMETERY= The one place where princes and paupers, porters and presidents are finally on the dead level.
* * * * *
=CHAMPAGNE= The stuff that makes the world go round.
* * * * *
=CHAIR= Four-legged aid to the injured.
=CHARITY= Forehanded aid to the indigent.
* * * * *
=CHAUFFEUR= A man who is smart enough to operate an automobile, but clever enough not to own one.
* * * * *
=CHRISTIAN= A member of any orthodox church.
* * * * *
=CHRISTMAS= A widely observed holiday on which the past nor the future is of so much interest as the present.
* * * * *
=CHUMP= Any one whose opinion differs radically from ours.
* * * * *
=CIGARETTE= A weed whose smoke, some say, should never be inhaled, and still more insist should never be exhaled.
* * * * *
=CINDER= One of the first things to catch your eye in travelling.
* * * * *
=CIVILIZATION= An upward growth or tendency that has enabled mankind to develop the college yell from what was once only a feeble war-whoop.
* * * * *
=COLLECTOR= A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again.
* * * * *
=COLLEGE= From Fr.
colle, pasted or stuck, and
etude, study. A place where everyone is stuck on study. (?)
* * * * *
=COLONEL= A male resident of Kentucky.
See =KERNEL=.
* * * * *
=COMPLIMENT= v. t., From Eng.
con,--hot air, and Lat.
pleo, to fill. Hence, to fill with hot air.
* * * * *
=COMPLEXION= Color for the face. From Eng.
complex, difficult, and
shun, to avoid. To avoid difficulty, buy it of the druggist.
* * * * *
=COMMENDATION= From Eng.
con, a josh, and
mend, to fix up. Hence, a fixed-up josh.
* * * * *
=CONDUCTOR= From Eng.
coin, and Lat.
duco, to command. One who commands the coin.
* * * * *
=CONSCIENCE= The fear of being found out.
* * * * *
=COOK= A charitable institution, providing food and shelter for Policemen.
* * * * *
=CORPS= A big bunch of fighters. (Dist. bet. cores found in apples and corps found in arms).
* * * * *
=CORSET= From Fr.
corps, shape, and
sec, rough. Rough on the shape.
* * * * *
=COSMETIC= A new face-maker. From Grk.
kosmos, order, and Eng.
medic, or doctor,--ordered by the doctor. (See Complexion.)
* * * * *
=COT= A snooze for one.
=COTILLON= A dance for eight.
* * * * *
=CREDIT= Something for nothing.
=CREDITOR= Something with nothing.
* * * * *
=CREDULITY= A feminine virtue and a masculine vice.
* * * * *
=CREMATION= A means of disposing of the dead likely to become very popular, especially with women who are so fond of having the last retort.
* * * * *
=CRITIC= A wet blanket that soaks everything it touches.
* * * * *
=CROOK= One who exceeds the speed limit in Law & Order Ave. A Misfit in the Straight and Narrow Way.
* * * * *
=CROW= A bird that never complains without caws.
* * * * *
=CULTURE= A degree of mental development that produces tailor-made women, fantastically-sheared poodles and dock tailed horses.
* * * * *
=CUPID= A driver of sharp darts.
=CUPIDITY= A driver of sharp deals.
* * * * *
=CYNIC= A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
All work and no play makes Jack A Dead One. _