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Foolish Dictionary, The
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Gideon Wurdz
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       _ But a stony roll always gathers the stony stare.
       =WAITER= An Inn-experienced servant.
       * * * * *
       =WAR= A wholesale means of making heroes which, if planned in a small way, would produce only murderers.
       * * * * *
       =WATER= A thin substance applied to stocks with which to soak buyers.
       * * * * *
       =WEDDING= A trade in which the bride is generally given away, and the groom is often sold.
       * * * * *
       =WEEDS= Found in gardens and widows. For removing easily, marry the widow.
       * * * * *
       =WICKEDNESS= A myth invented by good people to account for the singular attractiveness of others.
       * * * * *
       =WIDOW= The wife of a golfer during the open season, unless she golfs, too. In that event the children are golf orphans.
       * * * * *
       =WHISKY= Trouble put up in liquid form.
       * * * * *
       =WIND= An aerial phenomenon, superinduced by an ephemeral agitation of the nebular strata, whereby air, (hot or cold), impelled into transitory activity, generates a prolonged passage through space, owing to certain occult ethereal stimuli, and results in zephyrs, breezes, blows, blow-outs, blizzards, gales, simoons, hurricanes, tornadoes or typhoons. Barred from Kansas Cyclone-cellars but frequently blended with Chicago tongue--canned or conversational.
       * * * * *
       =WOMAN= An aspiring creature whose political sphere is still slightly flattened at the polls.
       * * * * *
       =WORD= Something you must keep after giving it to another.
       * * * * *
       =WORRY= A state of mind that leads some persons to fear, every time the tide goes out, that it won't come in again.
       * * * * *
       =WRINKLES= A merchant's trade-marks.
       It's the first straw hat which shows how the wind blows. _