_ A fool and his wife are soon parted. See Alimony.
=MAGAZINE= A receptacle for explosives, literary or mechanical.
* * * * *
=MAGNATE= One who can float capital in a considerable body of water. From Lat.
magnus, great, and
nator, to swim; a great swimmer.
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=MAIDEN LADY= A term applied to an old maid by those who wish to avoid hurting her feelings.
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=MALT= A humble grain which often gets into a ferment, cools off and becomes Stout in its old age.
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=MAN= Something that "Goes first on four feet, then two feet, then three, but the more feet it goes on the weaker it be!"
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=MAN-ABOUT-TOWN= One who is on speaking terms with the head waiter.
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=MANICURE= The only woman who can beat a carpenter at soaking nails.
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=MANNERS= A difficult symphony in the key of B natural.
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=MARK= In Germany, twenty-three cents. In the United States, only Twain.
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=MASCULINE= From Grk.
maskos, girl, and
eukolos, easy. Easy for the girls.
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=MASSAGE= A touch, with intent to rub it in.
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=MATRIMONY= A game for women, in which the unmarried half are trying to find a husband and the married half trying not to be found out by one. Both halves are eminently successful.
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=MEAL= According to the Liquor Law, a minute bunch of crumbs entirely surrounded by booze.
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=MEDIUM= A party with one ear in the grave but both hands on your wallet. "Hello, Central! Give me Heaven!"
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=MELODEON= An alleged musical instrument, popular at home, but unpopular next door. From Eng.
melody, and Latin,
un, without. Warranted without melody.
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=MENAGERIE= From Fr.
melange, mixture, and Ger.
riechen, to smell. A mixture of smells.
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=MESSENGER BOY= From Eng.
miss, to fail, and Lat.
engeo, to arrive. One who fails to arrive.
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=METER= The gas man's trysting place. "Meet her in the cellar!"
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=MIND= No matter. =MATTER= Never mind.
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=MINE= A hole in the ground owned by a liar.
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=MINSTREL= A footlight foul that makes its nightly lay in every city.
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=MIRACLE= A woman who won't talk.
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=MIST= Generally, a small, light rain. =SCOTCH MIST= A cloudburst.
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=MITTEN= Something a tender-hearted girl gives a young man when she knows she is going to make it chilly for him.
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=MONEY= Society's vindication of vulgarity.
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=MONOPOLY= A modern device for impoverishing others. From Grk.
monux, swift-footed, and
polloi, the people. A swift kick for the people.
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=MOON= The only lighting monopoly that never made money.
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=MORTGAGE= From Fr.
mort, death, and Eng.
gag, to choke. A lawyer's invention for choking property to death.
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=MOSQUITO= A small insect designed by God to make us think better of flies.
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=MOTH= An unfortunate acquaintance who is always in the hole. And the only ones who try to get him out are his enemies.
* * * * *
=MOUSE= The frequent cause of a rise in cotton.
All gone to 6's and 7's--Ladies' Footwear in Chicago. _