_ Soap, long deferred, maketh the dirt stick.
=PAIN= A sensation experienced on receiving a Punch, particularly the London one.
* * * * *
=PALMISTRY= A plausible excuse for holding hands.
* * * * *
=PANTS= Trousers' Country Cousins.
* * * * *
=PARACHUTE= A successful method for getting the drop on the Earth.
* * * * *
=PARAGON= The model man a woman regrets she gave up for the one she mistakenly married.
* * * * *
=PARENTS= One of the hardships of a minor's life.
* * * * *
=PASS= A form of transportation issued free to those who are quite able to pay.
=PASSENGER= One who does not travel on a pass. (Antonym for Deadhead). From Eng.
pass, to go, and Grk.
endidomi, to give up. One who has to give up to go.
* * * * *
=PARROT= An individual who can never be held responsible for what he says.
* * * * *
=PASTRY= A deadly weapon carried by cafes, cooks and newly married housekeepers.
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=PATRIOT= One who is willing to take all of Uncle Sam's bonds in a lump.
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=PAWN= v. t., To keep property in the family by leaving it all with your Uncle.
* * * * *
=PAWNBROKER= A mercenary man to whom money is the one redeeming quality.
* * * * *
=PEACE= A mythical condition of tranquillity frequently reported from the Phillipines.
* * * * *
=PEACH= A popular synonym for Fair Woman, probably because the peach is largely a skin and stony at heart.
* * * * *
=PEARL= A small round product manufactured by an oyster, bought by a lobster and worn by a butterfly.
* * * * *
=PENITENT= From
pen, meaning to write, and
intent, meaning determination. One who determines for the right.
* * * * *
=PESSIMIST= One who paints things blue. And sometimes red.
* * * * *
=PHILISTINE= In Bible times, one who worried the children of Israel; today, one who worries only himself. From Grk.
phloios, bark, and
tino, to punish. One who barks to punish.
* * * * *
=PHILANTHROPIST= One who returns to the people publicly a small percentage of the wealth he steals from them privately.
* * * * *
=PHILOSOPHER= One who instead of crying over spilt milk consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.
* * * * *
=PHILOSOPHY= Something that enables the rich to say there is no disgrace in being poor.
* * * * *
=PIANO= A tool frequently used in building a Rough House.
* * * * *
=PIN= The best dresser in a woman's acquaintance--of remarkable penetration and true as steel, seldom loses its head, follows its own bent and carries its point in whatever it undertakes.
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=PING-PONG= A game invented for the benefit of furniture and crockery dealers.
* * * * *
=PITY= An emotion awakened in a man's mind when he beholds the children of a woman who might have married him instead.
* * * * *
=PLATONIC LOVE= An arrangement in which a man and woman attempt a correct imitation of a pair of icicles--and never succeed.
* * * * *
=PLENTY= A desirable condition that is likely to step out whenever Extravagance steps in.
* * * * *
=PLUM= A fruit that ripens and falls from the Political Tree--but only after careful grafting.
* * * * *
=PLUMB= To ascertain the capacity of.
=PLUMBER= One who ascertains the capacity of your purse, soaks you with a piece of lead and gets away with the money--a process vulgarly known as "a lead-pipe cinch."
* * * * *
=POLE-CAT= A small animal to be killed with a pole, the longer the pole the better.
* * * * *
=POLICEMAN= A never present help in time of trouble.
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=POLYGAMY= A thoughtless way of increasing the family expenses.
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=POLYGLOT= A parrot that can swear in several languages.
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=POSTSCRIPT= The only thing readable in a woman's letter.
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=PRETZEL= The bar-keeper's promoter.
* * * * *
=PROTECTION= Originally, the swaddling clothes of the infant, Industry; now, merely the shoe-lacings for the giant, Monopoly.
* * * * *
=PRO= and =CON= Prefixes of opposite meaning. For example, Progress and Congress.
* * * * *
=PRUDE= A native of Boston.
* * * * *
=PRUDENCE= A quality of mind that restrains the wise boarder from trying to find out how his landlady makes her hash.
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=PRUDERY= A quality that displays a lack of modesty as a wig does a loss of hair.
* * * * *
=PRUNE= A plum that has seen better days: the boarding-house veteran and the landlady's pet; badly wrinkled, yet well preserved.
* * * * *
=PUGILIST= A close-fisted party who is often roped in but never gives up till he's out.
* * * * *
=PULLMAN PORTER= A legalized train-robber.
* * * * *
=PUNCH= A weekly obituary notice from London, chronicling the death of Humor.
Never make a mountain out of a mole-hill--Try gold, silver, copper or radium--there's more in it. _