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Brought down to date in brief Notes by the Editor. ACHILLES. A courageous Greek, who did a general slaughtering business in Troy in 1180 B.C., but was finally pinked in the heel--his only vulnerable spot--and died.
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=Long life often depends on being well heeled.=
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ADONIS. A beautiful youth, beloved by Venus and killed by a boar.
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=Bores have been the death of us ever since.=
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BACCHUS. A brewer, who supplied the Gods with nectar, the beer that made Olympus famous.
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=Those desiring a drink, please ask Dickens if "Bacchus is willin'."=
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CASTOR AND POLLUX. Two clever sports and twin brothers from Greece, Castor being a horse-trainer and Pollux a pugilist, whose sister, Helen, a respectable, married woman, disgraced the family by eloping with Paris.
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=Just because a man can break a broncho or win a prize fight, it's no sign he can manage a woman.=
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CERBERUS. A dog with three heads, a serpent's tail and several snakes around his neck, who guarded the main entrance to Hades.
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=When a man begins to see snakes and one head looks like three, it's a cinch he's not far from Hell.=
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CHARON. The gloomy gondolier of the Styx, who carried the dead to the Other World--if they paid him first.
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=And even to-day, he who patronizes Rapid Transit must pay his fare in advance.=
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CUPID. The son of Venus and the God of Love, who with bow and arrows punctured men's bosoms with the darts of admiration.
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=But now-a-days the arrow's not in it with a snug bathing suit or a decollette gown.=
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DAEDALUS. The original Santos Dumont, who invented and successfully operated a flying-machine that would fly. His son, Icarus, tried the trick, went too high and fell into the sea.
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=A flier frequently precedes a fall--especially in Wall Street.=
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DIANA. The goddess of the chase; unmarried.
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=And this is very fitting. May the chase always be for the unmarried only!=
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HERCULES. The Gritty Greek (no relation to the Terrible Turk), an independent laborer, who always had a good job awaiting him.
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=It is interesting to recall the days when non-union labor had all the work it wanted.=
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IXION. A king of Thessaly, who for his sins was broken on a wheel.
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=And men have been going broke on "the wheel" ever since.=
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LOTUS EATERS. A gang of ancient vegetarians, who chewed leaves and went to sleep.
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=Now succeeded by a club of New Yorkers, who chew the rag and keep awake.=
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MERCURY. A celestial messenger-boy, who wore wings on his shoes and knew how "to get there" in a hurry.
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=Now they all wear hobbles, and never exceed the speed limit in a public thoroughfare.=
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MIDAS. A Greek king, who had the power of turning into gold all that he touched.
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=That's nothing! There are plenty of men to-day who always get gold whoever they touch.=
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SAPPHO. A love-lorn poetess, who, failing to win the man she first loved, cured herself by jumping into the Mediterranean.
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=She probably acted on the old advice, "There's plenty more fish in the sea!"=
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TANTALUS. A proud king, who suffered in Hades the agonies of hunger and thirst, with food and drink always in sight, but always beyond reach.
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=Here on earth, the 50-cent table d'hote accomplishes the same result--besides costing you the fifty.=
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TROY. An ancient, oriental city, which took in a wooden horse and saw the domestic finish of Helen and Paris.
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=Do not confuse with Troy, N.Y., where they only take in washing and provide a domestic finish for collars and shirts.=
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VULCAN. The Olympian blacksmith, who always had his hammer with him.
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=But not all who carry hammers are blacksmiths.= _