_ A miss is as good as her smile.
=SADDUCEE= A person holding skeptical religious views. Hopeless, hence sad you see.
* * * * *
=SAILOR= A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore.
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=SANDWICH= An unsuccessful attempt to make both ends meat.
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=SAUSAGE= An aftermath of the dog-days.
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=SCAFFOLD= A work of art that rarely fails to get a hanging.
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=SCARECROW= An operator who repeatedly corners corn, without caws.
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=SCORCHER= A chauffeur in an all-fired hurry.
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=SCULPTOR= A poor unfortunate who makes faces and busts.
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=SELF-MADE= Complimentary term for a respectable crook.
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=SHAMROCK= A three-time loser as a racer at sea, but a four-time winner as an "ad." for tea--and Sir T.
* * * * *
=SHEPHERD= One who depends on a crook for a living.
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=SHIRT= Every man's bosom friend.
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=SILVER= A metallic form of opium, smoked by Presidential impossibilities.
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=SINNER= A stupid person who gets found out.
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=SNAP= A brisk, energetic quality that enables a man with ginger to take the cake.
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=SNORE= An unfavorable report from headquarters.
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=SOROSIS= A female gas company that lays its pipes on cultivated grounds.
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=SPAGHETTI= A table-dish eaten only by Italians and jugglers. From Lat.
spadix, branch, or fork, and
gestamen, burden. A burden for the fork.
* * * * *
=SPIDER= A busy weaver and a good correspondent, who drops a line by every post.
* * * * *
=STARS= The greatest astronomers known, having studded the heavens for ages.
* * * * *
=STAYS= A sort of straight-jacket employed in reforming women.
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=STOCKINGS= Woman's only savings for A Rainy Day.
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=STOCKS= An unreliable commodity bought and sold by gamblers. If you win, it's an investment; if you lose, a speculation.
* * * * *
=STOVE-PIPE= A movable cylinder used as a receptacle for smoke and profanity.
* * * * *
=SPRING= Formerly a very delightful season but now obsolete except in poetry and the Old Farmer's Almanac.
* * * * *
=SPINSTER= An ember from which the sparks have flown.
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=SUBWAY= In Boston, a place where one may enjoy continuous disturbance of the peace, disorderly conduct, assault and battery, riot and rebellion. These events are allowed by law, and the entry-fee is five cents.
* * * * *
=SUCCESS= A goal usually reached by those who employ their time in cultivating a more definite aim in life rather than in searching for a larger target.
* * * * *
=SUMMER= An oppressive and expensive season invented by rural cottage and hotel owners, railroad and steamboat companies and the Iceman.
* * * * *
=SUN= A yellow arrival from Way Down East, who goes west daily, operates a heating and lighting trust, draws water, prints pictures, develops crops, liquidates the ice business and tans skins on the side. Profits by his daily rays and always has a shine.
* * * * *
=SYMPATHY= Feeling for others; very noticeable in Blind Man's Buff.
* * * * *
=SYNDICATE= A conspiracy to extend the modest business established by Captain Kidd.
Fortune knocks only once at a man's door--And she's the worst Knocker in the world. _