您的位置 : 首页 > 英文著作
Sylvia’s Lovers
CHAPTER XXXVII - BEREAVEMENT
Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell
下载:Sylvia’s Lovers.txt
本书全文检索:
       _ Hester had been prevented by her mother's indisposition from taking
       Philip's letter to the Fosters, to hold a consultation with them
       over its contents.
       Alice Rose was slowly failing, and the long days which she had to
       spend alone told much upon her spirits, and consequently upon her
       health.
       All this came out in the conversation which ensued after reading
       Hepburn's letter in the little parlour at the bank on the day after
       Sylvia had had her confidential interview with Jeremiah Foster.
       He was a true man of honour, and never so much as alluded to her
       visit to him; but what she had then told him influenced him very
       much in the formation of the project which he proposed to his
       brother and Hester.
       He recommended her remaining where she was, living still in the
       house behind the shop; for he thought within himself that she might
       have exaggerated the effect of her words upon Philip; that, after
       all, it might have been some cause totally disconnected with them,
       which had blotted out her husband's place among the men of
       Monkshaven; and that it would be so much easier for both to resume
       their natural relations, both towards each other and towards the
       world, if Sylvia remained where her husband had left her--in an
       expectant attitude, so to speak.
       Jeremiah Foster questioned Hester straitly about her letter: whether
       she had made known its contents to any one. No, not to any one.
       Neither to her mother nor to William Coulson? No, to neither.
       She looked at him as she replied to his inquiries, and he looked at
       her, each wondering if the other could be in the least aware that a
       conjugal quarrel might be at the root of the dilemma in which they
       were placed by Hepburn's disappearance.
       But neither Hester, who had witnessed the misunderstanding between
       the husband and wife on the evening, before the morning on which
       Philip went away, nor Jeremiah Foster, who had learnt from Sylvia
       the true reason of her husband's disappearance, gave the slightest
       reason to the other to think that they each supposed they had a clue
       to the reason of Hepburn's sudden departure.
       What Jeremiah Foster, after a night's consideration, had to propose
       was this; that Hester and her mother should come and occupy the
       house in the market-place, conjointly with Sylvia and her child.
       Hester's interest in the shop was by this time acknowledged.
       Jeremiah had made over to her so much of his share in the business,
       that she had a right to be considered as a kind of partner; and she
       had long been the superintendent of that department of goods which
       were exclusively devoted to women. So her daily presence was
       requisite for more reasons than one.
       Yet her mother's health and spirits were such as to render it
       unadvisable that the old woman should be too much left alone; and
       Sylvia's devotion to her own mother seemed to point her out as the
       very person who could be a gentle and tender companion to Alice Rose
       during those hours when her own daughter would necessarily be
       engaged in the shop.
       Many desirable objects seemed to be gained by this removal of Alice:
       an occupation was provided for Sylvia, which would detain her in the
       place where her husband had left her, and where (Jeremiah Foster
       fairly expected in spite of his letter) he was likely to come back
       to find her; and Alice Rose, the early love of one of the brothers,
       the old friend of the other, would be well cared for, and under her
       daughter's immediate supervision during the whole of the time that
       she was occupied in the shop.
       Philip's share of the business, augmented by the money which he had
       put in from the legacy of his old Cumberland uncle, would bring in
       profits enough to support Sylvia and her child in ease and comfort
       until that time, which they all anticipated, when he should return
       from his mysterious wandering--mysterious, whether his going forth
       had been voluntary or involuntary.
       Thus far was settled; and Jeremiah Foster went to tell Sylvia of the
       plan.
       She was too much a child, too entirely unaccustomed to any
       independence of action, to do anything but leave herself in his
       hands. Her very confession, made to him the day before, when she
       sought his counsel, seemed to place her at his disposal. Otherwise,
       she had had notions of the possibility of a free country life once
       more--how provided for and arranged she hardly knew; but Haytersbank
       was to let, and Kester disengaged, and it had just seemed possible
       that she might have to return to her early home, and to her old
       life. She knew that it would take much money to stock the farm
       again, and that her hands were tied from much useful activity by the
       love and care she owed to her baby. But still, somehow, she hoped
       and she fancied, till Jeremiah Foster's measured words and
       carefully-arranged plan made her silently relinquish her green,
       breezy vision.
       Hester, too, had her own private rebellion--hushed into submission
       by her gentle piety. If Sylvia had been able to make Philip happy,
       Hester could have felt lovingly and almost gratefully towards her;
       but Sylvia had failed in this.
       Philip had been made unhappy, and was driven forth a wanderer into
       the wide world--never to come back! And his last words to Hester,
       the postscript of his letter, containing the very pith of it, was to
       ask her to take charge and care of the wife whose want of love
       towards him had uprooted him from the place where he was valued and
       honoured.
       It cost Hester many a struggle and many a self-reproach before she
       could make herself feel what she saw all along--that in everything
       Philip treated her like a sister. But even a sister might well be
       indignant if she saw her brother's love disregarded and slighted,
       and his life embittered by the thoughtless conduct of a wife! Still
       Hester fought against herself, and for Philip's sake she sought to
       see the good in Sylvia, and she strove to love her as well as to
       take care of her.
       With the baby, of course, the case was different. Without thought or
       struggle, or reason, every one loved the little girl. Coulson and
       his buxom wife, who were childless, were never weary of making much
       of her. Hester's happiest hours were spent with that little child.
       Jeremiah Foster almost looked upon her as his own from the day when
       she honoured him by yielding to the temptation of the chain and
       seal, and coming to his knee; not a customer to the shop but knew
       the smiling child's sad history, and many a country-woman would save
       a rosy-cheeked apple from out her store that autumn to bring it on
       next market-day for 'Philip Hepburn's baby, as had lost its father,
       bless it.'
       Even stern Alice Rose was graciously inclined towards the little
       Bella; and though her idea of the number of the elect was growing
       narrower and narrower every day, she would have been loth to exclude
       the innocent little child, that stroked her wrinkled cheeks so
       softly every night in return for her blessing, from the few that
       should be saved. Nay, for the child's sake, she relented towards the
       mother; and strove to have Sylvia rescued from the many castaways
       with fervent prayer, or, as she phrased it, 'wrestling with the
       Lord'.
       Alice had a sort of instinct that the little child, so tenderly
       loved by, so fondly loving, the mother whose ewe-lamb she was, could
       not be even in heaven without yearning for the creature she had
       loved best on earth; and the old woman believed that this was the
       principal reason for her prayers for Sylvia; but unconsciously to
       herself, Alice Rose was touched by the filial attentions she
       constantly received from the young mother, whom she believed to be
       foredoomed to condemnation.
       Sylvia rarely went to church or chapel, nor did she read her Bible;
       for though she spoke little of her ignorance, and would fain, for
       her child's sake, have remedied it now it was too late, she had lost
       what little fluency of reading she had ever had, and could only make
       out her words with much spelling and difficulty. So the taking her
       Bible in hand would have been a mere form; though of this Alice Rose
       knew nothing.
       No one knew much of what was passing in Sylvia; she did not know
       herself. Sometimes in the nights she would waken, crying, with a
       terrible sense of desolation; every one who loved her, or whom she
       had loved, had vanished out of her life; every one but her child,
       who lay in her arms, warm and soft.
       But then Jeremiah Foster's words came upon her; words that she had
       taken for cursing at the time; and she would so gladly have had some
       clue by which to penetrate the darkness of the unknown region from
       whence both blessing and cursing came, and to know if she had indeed
       done something which should cause her sin to be visited on that
       soft, sweet, innocent darling.
       If any one would teach her to read! If any one would explain to her
       the hard words she heard in church or chapel, so that she might find
       out the meaning of sin and godliness!--words that had only passed
       over the surface of her mind till now! For her child's sake she
       should like to do the will of God, if she only knew what that was,
       and how to be worked out in her daily life.
       But there was no one she dared confess her ignorance to and ask
       information from. Jeremiah Foster had spoken as if her child, sweet
       little merry Bella, with a loving word and a kiss for every one, was
       to suffer heavily for the just and true words her wronged and
       indignant mother had spoken. Alice always spoke as if there were no
       hope for her; and blamed her, nevertheless, for not using the means
       of grace that it was not in her power to avail herself of.
       And Hester, that Sylvia would fain have loved for her uniform
       gentleness and patience with all around her, seemed so cold in her
       unruffled and undemonstrative behaviour; and moreover, Sylvia felt
       that Hester blamed her perpetual silence regarding Philip's absence
       without knowing how bitter a cause Sylvia had for casting him off.
       The only person who seemed to have pity upon her was Kester; and his
       pity was shown in looks rather than words; for when he came to see
       her, which he did from time to time, by a kind of mutual tacit
       consent, they spoke but little of former days.
       He was still lodging with his sister, widow Dobson, working at odd
       jobs, some of which took him into the country for weeks at a time.
       But on his returns to Monkshaven he was sure to come and see her and
       the little Bella; indeed, when his employment was in the immediate
       neighbourhood of the town, he never allowed a week to pass away
       without a visit.
       There was not much conversation between him and Sylvia at such
       times. They skimmed over the surface of the small events in which
       both took an interest; only now and then a sudden glance, a checked
       speech, told each that there were deeps not forgotten, although they
       were never mentioned.
       Twice Sylvia--below her breath--had asked Kester, just as she was
       holding the door open for his departure, if anything had ever been
       heard of Kinraid since his one night's visit to Monkshaven: each
       time (and there was an interval of some months between the
       inquiries) the answer had been simply, no.
       To no one else would Sylvia ever have named his name. But indeed she
       had not the chance, had she wished it ever so much, of asking any
       questions about him from any one likely to know. The Corneys had
       left Moss Brow at Martinmas, and gone many miles away towards
       Horncastle. Bessy Corney, it is true was married and left behind in
       the neighbourhood; but with her Sylvia had never been intimate; and
       what girlish friendship there might have been between them had
       cooled very much at the time of Kinraid's supposed death three years
       before.
       One day before Christmas in this year, 1798, Sylvia was called into
       the shop by Coulson, who, with his assistant, was busy undoing the
       bales of winter goods supplied to them from the West Riding, and
       other places. He was looking at a fine Irish poplin dress-piece when
       Sylvia answered to his call.
       'Here! do you know this again?' asked he, in the cheerful tone of
       one sure of giving pleasure.
       'No! have I iver seen it afore?'
       'Not this, but one for all t' world like it.'
       She did not rouse up to much interest, but looked at it as if trying
       to recollect where she could have seen its like.
       'My missus had one on at th' party at John Foster's last March, and
       yo' admired it a deal. And Philip, he thought o' nothing but how he
       could get yo' just such another, and he set a vast o' folk agait for
       to meet wi' its marrow; and what he did just the very day afore he
       went away so mysterious was to write through Dawson Brothers, o'
       Wakefield, to Dublin, and order that one should be woven for yo'.
       Jemima had to cut a bit off hers for to give him t' exact colour.'
       Sylvia did not say anything but that it was very pretty, in a low
       voice, and then she quickly left the shop, much to Coulson's
       displeasure.
       All the afternoon she was unusually quiet and depressed.
       Alice Rose, sitting helpless in her chair, watched her with keen
       eyes.
       At length, after one of Sylvia's deep, unconscious sighs, the old
       woman spoke:
       'It's religion as must comfort thee, child, as it's done many a one
       afore thee.'
       'How?' said Sylvia, looking up, startled to find herself an object
       of notice.
       'How?' (The answer was not quite so ready as the precept had been.)
       'Read thy Bible, and thou wilt learn.'
       'But I cannot read,' said Sylvia, too desperate any longer to
       conceal her ignorance.
       'Not read! and thee Philip's wife as was such a great scholar! Of a
       surety the ways o' this life are crooked! There was our Hester, as
       can read as well as any minister, and Philip passes over her to go
       and choose a young lass as cannot read her Bible.'
       'Was Philip and Hester----'
       Sylvia paused, for though a new curiosity had dawned upon her, she
       did not know how to word her question.
       'Many a time and oft have I seen Hester take comfort in her Bible
       when Philip was following after thee. She knew where to go for
       consolation.'
       'I'd fain read,' said Sylvia, humbly, 'if anybody would learn me;
       for perhaps it might do me good; I'm noane so happy.'
       Her eyes, as she looked up at Alice's stern countenance, were full
       of tears.
       The old woman saw it, and was touched, although she did not
       immediately show her sympathy. But she took her own time, and made
       no reply.
       The next day, however, she bade Sylvia come to her, and then and
       there, as if her pupil had been a little child, she began to teach
       Sylvia to read the first chapter of Genesis; for all other reading
       but the Scriptures was as vanity to her, and she would not
       condescend to the weakness of other books. Sylvia was now, as ever,
       slow at book-learning; but she was meek and desirous to be taught,
       and her willingness in this respect pleased Alice, and drew her
       singularly towards one who, from being a pupil, might become a
       convert.
       All this time Sylvia never lost the curiosity that had been excited
       by the few words Alice had let drop about Hester and Philip, and by
       degrees she approached the subject again, and had the idea then
       started confirmed by Alice, who had no scruple in using the past
       experience of her own, of her daughter's, or of any one's life, as
       an instrument to prove the vanity of setting the heart on anything
       earthly.
       This knowledge, unsuspected before, sank deep into Sylvia's
       thoughts, and gave her a strange interest in Hester--poor Hester,
       whose life she had so crossed and blighted, even by the very
       blighting of her own. She gave Hester her own former passionate
       feelings for Kinraid, and wondered how she herself should have felt
       towards any one who had come between her and him, and wiled his love
       away. When she remembered Hester's unfailing sweetness and kindness
       towards herself from the very first, she could better bear the
       comparative coldness of her present behaviour.
       She tried, indeed, hard to win back the favour she had lost; but the
       very means she took were blunders, and only made it seem to her as
       if she could never again do right in Hester's eyes.
       For instance, she begged her to accept and wear the pretty poplin
       gown which had been Philip's especial choice; feeling within herself
       as if she should never wish to put it on, and as if the best thing
       she could do with it was to offer it to Hester. But Hester rejected
       the proffered gift with as much hardness of manner as she was
       capable of assuming; and Sylvia had to carry it upstairs and lay it
       by for the little daughter, who, Hester said, might perhaps learn to
       value things that her father had given especial thought to.
       Yet Sylvia went on trying to win Hester to like her once more; it
       was one of her great labours, and learning to read from Hester's
       mother was another.
       Alice, indeed, in her solemn way, was becoming quite fond of Sylvia;
       if she could not read or write, she had a deftness and gentleness of
       motion, a capacity for the household matters which fell into her
       department, that had a great effect on the old woman, and for her
       dear mother's sake Sylvia had a stock of patient love ready in her
       heart for all the aged and infirm that fell in her way. She never
       thought of seeking them out, as she knew that Hester did; but then
       she looked up to Hester as some one very remarkable for her
       goodness. If only she could have liked her!
       Hester tried to do all she could for Sylvia; Philip had told her to
       take care of his wife and child; but she had the conviction that
       Sylvia had so materially failed in her duties as to have made her
       husband an exile from his home--a penniless wanderer, wifeless and
       childless, in some strange country, whose very aspect was
       friendless, while the cause of all lived on in the comfortable home
       where he had placed her, wanting for nothing--an object of interest
       and regard to many friends--with a lovely little child to give her
       joy for the present, and hope for the future; while he, the poor
       outcast, might even lie dead by the wayside. How could Hester love
       Sylvia?
       Yet they were frequent companions that ensuing spring. Hester was
       not well; and the doctors said that the constant occupation in the
       shop was too much for her, and that she must, for a time at least,
       take daily walks into the country.
       Sylvia used to beg to accompany her; she and the little girl often
       went with Hester up the valley of the river to some of the nestling
       farms that were hidden in the more sheltered nooks--for Hester was
       bidden to drink milk warm from the cow; and to go into the familiar
       haunts about a farm was one of the few things in which Sylvia seemed
       to take much pleasure. She would let little Bella toddle about while
       Hester sate and rested: and she herself would beg to milk the cow
       destined to give the invalid her draught.
       One May evening the three had been out on some such expedition; the
       country side still looked gray and bare, though the leaves were
       showing on the willow and blackthorn and sloe, and by the tinkling
       runnels, making hidden music along the copse side, the pale delicate
       primrose buds were showing amid their fresh, green, crinkled leaves.
       The larks had been singing all the afternoon, but were now dropping
       down into their nests in the pasture fields; the air had just the
       sharpness in it which goes along with a cloudless evening sky at
       that time of the year.
       But Hester walked homewards slowly and languidly, speaking no word.
       Sylvia noticed this at first without venturing to speak, for Hester
       was one who disliked having her ailments noticed. But after a while
       Hester stood still in a sort of weary dreamy abstraction; and Sylvia
       said to her,
       'I'm afeared yo're sadly tired. Maybe we've been too far.'
       Hester almost started.
       'No!' said she, 'it's only my headache which is worse to-night. It
       has been bad all day; but since I came out it has felt just as if
       there were great guns booming, till I could almost pray 'em to be
       quiet. I am so weary o' th' sound.'
       She stepped out quickly towards home after she had said this, as if
       she wished for neither pity nor comment on what she had said. _