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Financier, The
CHAPTER 18
Theodore Dreiser
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       _ The seeds of change--subtle, metaphysical--are rooted deeply.
       From the first mention of the dance by Mrs. Cowperwood and Anna,
       Aileen had been conscious of a desire toward a more effective
       presentation of herself than as yet, for all her father's money,
       she had been able to achieve. The company which she was to
       encounter, as she well knew, was to be so much more impressive,
       distinguished than anything she had heretofore known socially.
       Then, too, Cowperwood appeared as something more definite in her
       mind than he had been before, and to save herself she could not
       get him out of her consciousness.
       A vision of him had come to her but an hour before as she was
       dressing. In a way she had dressed for him. She was never
       forgetful of the times he had looked at her in an interested
       way. He had commented on her hands once. To-day he had said
       that she looked "stunning," and she had thought how easy it
       would be to impress him to-night--to show him how truly beautiful
       she was.
       She had stood before her mirror between eight and nine--it was
       nine-fifteen before she was really ready--and pondered over what
       she should wear. There were two tall pier-glasses in her wardrobe--
       an unduly large piece of furniture--and one in her closet door.
       She stood before the latter, looking at her bare arms and shoulders,
       her shapely figure, thinking of the fact that her left shoulder
       had a dimple, and that she had selected garnet garters decorated
       with heart-shaped silver buckles. The corset could not be made
       quite tight enough at first, and she chided her maid, Kathleen
       Kelly. She studied how to arrange her hair, and there was much
       ado about that before it was finally adjusted. She penciled her
       eyebrows and plucked at the hair about her forehead to make it
       loose and shadowy. She cut black court-plaster with her nail-shears
       and tried different-sized pieces in different places. Finally,
       she found one size and one place that suited her. She turned her
       head from side to side, looking at the combined effect of her
       hair, her penciled brows, her dimpled shoulder, and the black
       beauty-spot. If some one man could see her as she was now, some
       time! Which man? That thought scurried back like a frightened rat
       into its hole. She was, for all her strength, afraid of the
       thought of the one--the very deadly--the man.
       And then she came to the matter of a train-gown. Kathleen laid
       out five, for Aileen had come into the joy and honor of these
       things recently, and she had, with the permission of her mother
       and father, indulged herself to the full. She studied a golden-yellow
       silk, with cream-lace shoulder-straps, and some gussets of garnet
       beads in the train that shimmered delightfully, but set it aside.
       She considered favorably a black-and-white striped silk of odd
       gray effect, and, though she was sorely tempted to wear it, finally
       let it go. There was a maroon dress, with basque and overskirt
       over white silk; a rich cream-colored satin; and then this black
       sequined gown, which she finally chose. She tried on the
       cream-colored satin first, however, being in much doubt about
       it; but her penciled eyes and beauty-spot did not seem to
       harmonize with it. Then she put on the black silk with its
       glistening crimsoned-silver sequins, and, lo, it touched her.
       She liked its coquettish drapery of tulle and silver about the
       hips. The "overskirt," which was at that time just coming into
       fashion, though avoided by the more conservative, had been adopted
       by Aileen with enthusiasm. She thrilled a little at the rustle of
       this black dress, and thrust her chin and nose forward to make it
       set right. Then after having Kathleen tighten her corsets a
       little more, she gathered the train over her arm by its train-band
       and looked again. Something was wanting. Oh, yes, her neck!
       What to wear--red coral? It did not look right. A string of
       pearls? That would not do either. There was a necklace made of
       small cameos set in silver which her mother had purchased, and
       another of diamonds which belonged to her mother, but they were
       not right. Finally, her jet necklet, which she did not value very
       highly, came into her mind, and, oh, how lovely it looked! How
       soft and smooth and glistening her chin looked above it. She
       caressed her neck affectionately, called for her black lace
       mantilla, her long, black silk dolman lined with red, and she
       was ready.
       The ball-room, as she entered, was lovely enough. The young men
       and young women she saw there were interesting, and she was not
       wanting for admirers. The most aggressive of these youths--the
       most forceful--recognized in this maiden a fillip to life, a sting
       to existence. She was as a honey-jar surrounded by too hungry
       flies.
       But it occurred to her, as her dance-list was filling up, that
       there was not much left for Mr. Cowperwood, if he should care to
       dance with her.
       Cowperwood was meditating, as he received the last of the guests,
       on the subtlety of this matter of the sex arrangement of life.
       Two sexes. He was not at all sure that there was any law governing
       them. By comparison now with Aileen Butler, his wife looked rather
       dull, quite too old, and when he was ten years older she would
       look very much older.
       "Oh, yes, Ellsworth had made quite an attractive arrangement out
       of these two houses--better than we ever thought he could do."
       He was talking to Henry Hale Sanderson, a young banker. "He had
       the advantage of combining two into one, and I think he's done
       more with my little one, considering the limitations of space,
       than he has with this big one. Father's has the advantage of size.
       I tell the old gentleman he's simply built a lean-to for me."
       His father and a number of his cronies were over in the dining-room
       of his grand home, glad to get away from the crowd. He would have
       to stay, and, besides, he wanted to. Had he better dance with
       Aileen? His wife cared little for dancing, but he would have to
       dance with her at least once. There was Mrs. Seneca Davis smiling
       at him, and Aileen. By George, how wonderful! What a girl!
       "I suppose your dance-list is full to overflowing. Let me see."
       He was standing before her and she was holding out the little
       blue-bordered, gold-monogrammed booklet. An orchestra was playing
       in the music room. The dance would begin shortly. There were
       delicately constructed, gold-tinted chairs about the walls and
       behind palms.
       He looked down into her eyes--those excited, life-loving, eager
       eyes.
       "You're quite full up. Let me see. Nine, ten, eleven. Well,
       that will be enough. I don't suppose I shall want to dance very
       much. It's nice to be popular."
       "I'm not sure about number three. I think that's a mistake. You
       might have that if you wish."
       She was falsifying.
       "It doesn't matter so much about him, does it?"
       His cheeks flushed a little as he said this.
       "No."
       Her own flamed.
       "Well, I'll see where you are when it's called. You're darling.
       I'm afraid of you." He shot a level, interpretive glance into
       her eyes, then left. Aileen's bosom heaved. It was hard to
       breathe sometimes in this warm air.
       While he was dancing first with Mrs. Cowperwood and later with
       Mrs. Seneca Davis, and still later with Mrs. Martyn Walker,
       Cowperwood had occasion to look at Aileen often, and each time
       that he did so there swept over him a sense of great vigor there,
       of beautiful if raw, dynamic energy that to him was irresistible
       and especially so to-night. She was so young. She was beautiful,
       this girl, and in spite of his wife's repeated derogatory comments
       he felt that she was nearer to his clear, aggressive, unblinking
       attitude than any one whom he had yet seen in the form of woman.
       She was unsophisticated, in a way, that was plain, and yet in
       another way it would take so little to make her understand so much.
       Largeness was the sense he had of her--not physically, though
       she was nearly as tall as himself--but emotionally. She seemed
       so intensely alive. She passed close to him a number of times,
       her eyes wide and smiling, her lips parted, her teeth agleam, and
       he felt a stirring of sympathy and companionship for her which he
       had not previously experienced. She was lovely, all of her--
       delightful.
       "I'm wondering if that dance is open now," he said to her as he
       drew near toward the beginning of the third set. She was seated
       with her latest admirer in a far corner of the general living-room,
       a clear floor now waxed to perfection. A few palms here and
       there made embrasured parapets of green. "I hope you'll excuse me,"
       he added, deferentially, to her companion.
       "Surely," the latter replied, rising.
       "Yes, indeed," she replied. "And you'd better stay here with me.
       It's going to begin soon. You won't mind?" she added, giving her
       companion a radiant smile.
       "Not at all. I've had a lovely waltz." He strolled off.
       Cowperwood sat down. "That's young Ledoux, isn't it? I thought
       so. I saw you dancing. You like it, don't you?"
       "I'm crazy about it."
       "Well, I can't say that myself. It's fascinating, though. Your
       partner makes such a difference. Mrs. Cowperwood doesn't like it
       as much as I do."
       His mention of Lillian made Aileen think of her in a faintly
       derogative way for a moment.
       "I think you dance very well. I watched you, too." She questioned
       afterwards whether she should have said this. It sounded most
       forward now--almost brazen.
       "Oh, did you?"
       "Yes."
       He was a little keyed up because of her--slightly cloudy in his
       thoughts--because she was generating a problem in his life, or
       would if he let her, and so his talk was a little tame. He was
       thinking of something to say--some words which would bring them
       a little nearer together. But for the moment he could not. Truth
       to tell, he wanted to say a great deal.
       "Well, that was nice of you," he added, after a moment. "What
       made you do it?"
       He turned with a mock air of inquiry. The music was beginning
       again. The dancers were rising. He arose.
       He had not intended to give this particular remark a serious
       turn; but, now that she was so near him, he looked into her eyes
       steadily but with a soft appeal and said, "Yes, why?"
       They had come out from behind the palms. He had put his hand
       to her waist. His right arm held her left extended arm to arm,
       palm to palm. Her right hand was on his shoulder, and she was
       close to him, looking into his eyes. As they began the gay
       undulations of the waltz she looked away and then down without
       answering. Her movements were as light and airy as those of a
       butterfly. He felt a sudden lightness himself, communicated as
       by an invisible current. He wanted to match the suppleness of
       her body with his own, and did. Her arms, the flash and glint
       of the crimson sequins against the smooth, black silk of her
       closely fitting dress, her neck, her glowing, radiant hair, all
       combined to provoke a slight intellectual intoxication. She was
       so vigorously young, so, to him, truly beautiful.
       "But you didn't answer," he continued.
       "Isn't this lovely music?"
       He pressed her fingers.
       She lifted shy eyes to him now, for, in spite of her gay,
       aggressive force, she was afraid of him. His personality was
       obviously so dominating. Now that he was so close to her,
       dancing, she conceived of him as something quite wonderful, and
       yet she experienced a nervous reaction--a momentary desire to
       run away.
       "Very well, if you won't tell me," he smiled, mockingly.
       He thought she wanted him to talk to her so, to tease her with
       suggestions of this concealed feeling of his--this strong liking.
       He wondered what could come of any such understanding as this,
       anyhow?
       "Oh, I just wanted to see how you danced," she said, tamely, the
       force of her original feeling having been weakened by a thought
       of what she was doing. He noted the change and smiled. It was
       lovely to be dancing with her. He had not thought mere dancing
       could hold such charm.
       "You like me?" he said, suddenly, as the music drew to its close.
       She thrilled from head to toe at the question. A piece of ice
       dropped down her back could not have startled her more. It was
       apparently tactless, and yet it was anything but tactless. She
       looked up quickly, directly, but his strong eyes were too much for
       her.
       "Why, yes," she answered, as the music stopped, trying to keep an
       even tone to her voice. She was glad they were walking toward a
       chair.
       "I like you so much," he said, "that I have been wondering if you
       really like me." There was an appeal in his voice, soft and gentle.
       His manner was almost sad.
       "Why, yes," she replied, instantly, returning to her earlier mood
       toward him. "You know I do."
       "I need some one like you to like me," he continued, in the same
       vein. "I need some one like you to talk to. I didn't think so
       before--but now I do. You are beautiful--wonderful."
       "We mustn't," she said. "I mustn't. I don't know what I'm doing."
       She looked at a young man strolling toward her, and asked: "I have
       to explain to him. He's the one I had this dance with."
       Cowperwood understood. He walked away. He was quite warm and
       tense now--almost nervous. It was quite clear to him that he had
       done or was contemplating perhaps a very treacherous thing. Under
       the current code of society he had no right to do it. It was
       against the rules, as they were understood by everybody. Her
       father, for instance--his father--every one in this particular
       walk of life. However, much breaking of the rules under the
       surface of things there might be, the rules were still there. As
       he had heard one young man remark once at school, when some story
       had been told of a boy leading a girl astray and to a disastrous
       end, "That isn't the way at all."
       Still, now that he had said this, strong thoughts of her were in
       his mind. And despite his involved social and financial position,
       which he now recalled, it was interesting to him to see how
       deliberately and even calculatingly--and worse, enthusiastically--
       he was pumping the bellows that tended only to heighten the flames
       of his desire for this girl; to feed a fire that might ultimately
       consume him--and how deliberately and resourcefully!
       Aileen toyed aimlessly with her fan as a black-haired, thin-faced
       young law student talked to her, and seeing Norah in the distance
       she asked to be allowed to run over to her.
       "Oh, Aileen," called Norah, "I've been looking for you everywhere.
       Where have you been?"
       "Dancing, of course. Where do you suppose I've been? Didn't you
       see me on the floor?"
       "No, I didn't," complained Norah, as though it were most essential
       that she should. "How late are you going to stay?"
       "Until it's over, I suppose. I don't know."
       "Owen says he's going at twelve."
       "Well, that doesn't matter. Some one will take me home. Are you
       having a good time?"
       "Fine. Oh, let me tell you. I stepped on a lady's dress over
       there, last dance. She was terribly angry. She gave me such a
       look."
       "Well, never mind, honey. She won't hurt you. Where are you going
       now?"
       Aileen always maintained a most guardian-like attitude toward her
       sister.
       "I want to find Callum. He has to dance with me next time. I
       know what he's trying to do. He's trying to get away from me.
       But he won't."
       Aileen smiled. Norah looked very sweet. And she was so bright.
       What would she think of her if she knew? She turned back, and her
       fourth partner sought her. She began talking gayly, for she felt
       that she had to make a show of composure; but all the while there
       was ringing in her ears that definite question of his, "You like
       me, don't you?" and her later uncertain but not less truthful
       answer, "Yes, of course I do." _