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Doctor Grimshawe’s Secret: A romance
CHAPTER XIV
Nathaniel Hawthorne
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       _ The next day he called for his clothes, and, with the assistance of the
       pensioner, managed to be dressed, and awaited the arrival of the
       surgeon, sitting in a great easy-chair, with not much except his pale,
       thin cheeks, dark, thoughtful eyes, and his arm in a sling, to show the
       pain and danger through which he had passed. Soon after the departure
       of the professional gentleman, a step somewhat louder than ordinary was
       heard on the staircase, and in the corridor leading to the sick-
       chamber; the step (as Redclyffe's perceptions, nicely attempered by his
       weakness, assured him) of a man in perfect and robust health, and of
       station and authority. A moment afterwards, a gentleman of middle age,
       or a little beyond, appeared in the doorway, in a dress that seemed
       clerical, yet not very decidedly so; he had a frank, kindly, yet
       authoritative bearing, and a face that might almost be said to beam
       with geniality, when, as now, the benevolence of his nature was aroused
       and ready to express itself.
       "My friend," said he, "Doctor Portingale tells me you are much better;
       and I am most happy to hear it."
       There was something brusque and unceremonious in his manner, that a
       little jarred against Redclyffe's sensitiveness, which had become
       morbid in sympathy with his weakness. He felt that the new-comer had
       not probably the right idea as to his own position in life; he was
       addressing him most kindly, indeed, but as an inferior.
       "I am much better, sir," he replied, gravely, and with reserve; "so
       nearly well, that I shall very soon be able to bid farewell to my kind
       nurse here, and to this ancient establishment, to which I owe so much."
       The visitor seemed struck by Mr. Redclyffe's tone, and finely modulated
       voice, and glanced at his face, and then over his dress and figure, as
       if to gather from them some reliable data as to his station.
       "I am the Warden of this Hospital," said he, with not less benignity
       than heretofore, and greater courtesy; "and, in that capacity, must
       consider you under my care,--as my guest, in fact,--although, owing to
       my casual absence, one of the brethren of the house has been the active
       instrument in attending you. I am most happy to find you so far
       recovered. Do you feel yourself in a condition to give any account of
       the accident which has befallen you?"
       "It will be a very unsatisfactory one, at best," said Redclyffe, trying
       to discover some definite point in his misty reminiscences. "I am a
       stranger to this country, and was on a pedestrian tour with the purpose
       of making myself acquainted with the aspects of English scenery and
       life. I had turned into a footpath, being told that it would lead me
       within view of an old Hall, which, from certain early associations, I
       was very desirous of seeing. I think I went astray; at all events, the
       path became indistinct; and, so far as I can recollect, I had just
       turned to retrace my steps,--in fact, that is the last thing in my
       memory."
       "You had almost fallen a sacrifice," said the Warden, "to the old
       preference which our English gentry have inherited from their Norman
       ancestry, of game to man. You had come unintentionally as an intruder
       into a rich preserve much haunted by poachers, and exposed yourself to
       the deadly mark of a spring-gun, which had not the wit to distinguish
       between a harmless traveller and a poacher. At least, such is our
       conclusion; for our old friend here, (who luckily for you is a great
       rambler in the woods,) when the report drew him to the spot, found you
       insensible, and the gun discharged."
       "A gun has so little discretion," said Redclyffe, smiling, "that it
       seems a pity to trust entirely to its judgment, in a matter of life and
       death. But, to confess the truth, I had come this morning to the
       suspicion that there was a direct human agency in the matter; for I
       find missing a little pocket-book which I carried."
       "Then," said the Warden, "that certainly gives a new aspect to the
       affair. Was it of value?"
       "Of none whatever," said Redclyffe, "merely containing pencil
       memoranda, and notes of a traveller's little expenses. I had papers
       about me of far more value, and a moderate sum of money, a letter of
       credit, which have escaped. I do not, however, feel inclined, on such
       grounds, to transfer the guilt decidedly from the spring-gun to any
       more responsible criminal; for it is very possible that the pocket-
       book, being carelessly carried, might have been lost on the way. I had
       not used it since the preceding day."
       "Much more probable, indeed," said the Warden. "The discharged gun is
       strong evidence against itself. Mr. Colcord," continued he, raising his
       voice, "how long was the interval between the discharge of the gun and
       your arrival on the spot."
       "Five minutes, or less," said the old man, "for I was not far off, and
       made what haste I could, it being borne in on my spirit that mischief
       was abroad."
       "Did you hear two reports?" asked the Warden.
       "Only one," replied Colcord.
       "It is a plain case against the spring-gun," said the Warden; "and, as
       you tell me you are a stranger, I trust you will not suppose that our
       peaceful English woods and parks are the haunt of banditti. We must try
       to give you a better idea of us. May I ask, are you an American, and
       recently come among us?"
       "I believe a letter of credit is considered as decisive as most modes
       of introduction," said Redclyffe, feeling that the good Warden was
       desirous of knowing with some precision who and what he was, and that,
       in the circumstances, he had a right to such knowledge. "Here is mine,
       on a respectable house in London."
       The Warden took it, and glanced it over with a slight apologetic bow;
       it was a credit for a handsome amount in favor of the Honorable Edward
       Redclyffe, a title that did not fail to impress the Englishman rather
       favorably towards his new acquaintance, although he happened to know
       something of their abundance, even so early in the republic, among the
       men branded sons of equality. But, at all events, it showed no ordinary
       ability and energy for so young a man to have held such position as
       this title denoted in the fiercely contested political struggles of the
       new democracy.
       "Do you know, Mr. Redclyffe, that this name is familiar to us,
       hereabouts?" asked he, with a kindly bow and recognition,--"that it is
       in fact the principal name in this neighborhood,--that a family of your
       name still possesses Braithwaite Hall, and that this very Hospital,
       where you have happily found shelter, was founded by former
       representatives of your name? Perhaps you count yourself among their
       kindred."
       "My countrymen are apt to advance claims to kinship with distinguished
       English families on such slight grounds as to make it ridiculous," said
       Redclyffe, coloring. "I should not choose to follow so absurd an
       example."
       "Well, well, perhaps not," said the Warden, laughing frankly. "I have
       been amongst your republicans myself, a long while ago, and saw that
       your countrymen have no adequate idea of the sacredness of pedigrees,
       and heraldic distinctions, and would change their own names at
       pleasure, and vaunt kindred with an English duke on the strength of the
       assumed one. But I am happy to meet an American gentleman who looks
       upon this matter as Englishmen necessarily must. I met with great
       kindness in your country, Mr. Redclyffe, and shall be truly happy if
       you will allow me an opportunity of returning some small part of the
       obligation. You are now in a condition for removal to my own quarters,
       across the quadrangle. I will give orders to prepare an apartment, and
       you must transfer yourself there by dinner-time."
       With this hospitable proposal, so decisively expressed, the Warden took
       his leave; and Edward Redclyffe had hardly yet recovered sufficient
       independent force to reject an invitation so put, even were he
       inclined; but, in truth, the proposal suited well with his wishes, such
       as they were, and was, moreover, backed, it is singular to say, by
       another of those dreamlike recognitions which had so perplexed him ever
       since he found himself in the Hospital. In some previous state of
       being, the Warden and he had talked together before.
       "What is the Warden's name?" he inquired of the old pensioner.
       "Hammond," said the old man; "he is a kinsman of the Redclyffe family
       himself, a man of fortune, and spends more than the income of his
       wardenship in beautifying and keeping up the glory of the
       establishment. He takes great pride in it."
       "And he has been in America," said Redclyffe. "How strange! I knew him
       there. Never was anything so singular as the discovery of old
       acquaintances where I had reason to suppose myself unknowing and
       unknown. Unless dear Doctor Grim, or dear little Elsie, were to start
       up and greet me, I know not what may chance next."
       Redclyffe took up his quarters in the Warden's house the next day, and
       was installed in an apartment that made a picture, such as he had not
       before seen, of English household comfort. He was thus established
       under the good Warden's roof, and, being very attractive of most
       people's sympathies, soon began to grow greatly in favor with that
       kindly personage.
       When Edward Redclyffe removed from the old pensioner's narrow quarters
       to the far ampler accommodations of the Warden's house, the latter
       gentleman was taking his morning exercise on horseback. A servant,
       however, in a grave livery, ushered him to an apartment, where the new
       guest was surprised to see some luggage which two or three days before
       Edward had ordered from London, on finding that his stay in this part
       of the country was likely to be much longer than he had originally
       contemplated. The sight of these things--the sense which they conveyed
       that he was an expected and welcome guest--tended to raise the spirits
       of the solitary wanderer, and made him.... [Endnote: 1.]
       The Warden's abode was an original part of the ancient establishment,
       being an entire side of the quadrangle which the whole edifice
       surrounded; and for the establishment of a bachelor (which was his new
       friend's condition), it seemed to Edward Redclyffe abundantly spacious
       and enviably comfortable. His own chamber had a grave, rich depth, as
       it were, of serene and time-long garniture, for purposes of repose,
       convenience, daily and nightly comfort, that it was soothing even to
       look at. Long accustomed, as Redclyffe had been, to the hardy and rude
       accommodations, if so they were to be called, of log huts and hasty,
       mud-built houses in the Western States of America, life, its daily
       habits, its passing accommodations, seemed to assume an importance,
       under these aspects, which it had not worn before; those deep downy
       beds, those antique chairs, the heavy carpet, the tester and curtains,
       the stateliness of the old room,--they had a charm as compared with the
       thin preparation of a forester's bedchamber, such as Redclyffe had
       chiefly known them, in the ruder parts of the country, that really
       seemed to give a more substantial value to life; so much pains had been
       taken with its modes and appliances, that it looked more solid than
       before. Nevertheless, there was something ghostly in that stately
       curtained bed, with the deep gloom within its drapery, so ancient as it
       was; and suggestive of slumberers there who had long since slumbered
       elsewhere.
       The old servant, whose grave, circumspect courtesy was a matter quite
       beyond Redclyffe's experience, soon knocked at the chamber door, and
       suggested that the guest might desire to await the Warden's arrival in
       the library, which was the customary sitting-room. Redclyffe assenting,
       he was ushered into a spacious apartment, lighted by various Gothic
       windows, surrounded with old oaken cases, in which were ranged volumes,
       most or many of which seemed to be coeval with the foundation of the
       hospital; and opening one of them, Redclyffe saw for the first time in
       his life [Endnote: 2] a genuine book-worm, that ancient form of
       creature living upon literature; it had gnawed a circular hole,
       penetrating through perhaps a score of pages of the seldom opened
       volume, and was still at his musty feast. There was a fragrance of old
       learning in this ancient library; a soothing influence, as the American
       felt, of time-honored ideas, where the strife, novelties, uneasy
       agitating conflict, attrition of unsettled theories, fresh-springing
       thought, did not attain a foothold; a good place to spend a life which
       should not be agitated with the disturbing element; so quiet, so
       peaceful; how slowly, with how little wear, would the years pass here!
       How unlike what he had hitherto known, and was destined to know,--the
       quick, violent struggle of his mother country, which had traced lines
       in his young brow already. How much would be saved by taking his former
       existence, not as dealing with things yet malleable, but with fossils,
       things that had had their life, and now were unchangeable, and revered,
       here!
       At one end of this large room there was a bowed window, the space near
       which was curtained off from the rest of the library, and, the window
       being filled with painted glass (most of which seemed old, though there
       were insertions evidently of modern and much inferior handiwork), there
       was a rich gloom of light, or you might call it a rich glow, according
       to your mood of mind. Redclyffe soon perceived that this curtained
       recess was the especial study of his friend, the Warden, and as such
       was provided with all that modern times had contrived for making an
       enjoyment out of the perusal of old books; a study table, with every
       convenience of multifarious devices, a great inkstand, pens; a
       luxurious study chair, where thought [Endnote: 3] upon. To say the
       truth, there was not, in this retired and thoughtful nook, anything
       that indicated to Redclyffe that the Warden had been recently engaged
       in consultation of learned authorities,--or in abstract labor, whether
       moral, metaphysical or historic; there was a volume of translations of
       Mother Goose's Melodies into Greek and Latin, printed for private
       circulation, and with the Warden's name on the title-page; a London
       newspaper of the preceding day; Lillebullero, Chevy Chase, and the old
       political ballads; and, what a little amused Redclyffe, the three
       volumes of a novel from a circulating library; so that Redclyffe came
       to the conclusion that the good Warden, like many educated men, whose
       early scholastic propensities are backed up by the best of
       opportunities, and all desirable facilities and surroundings, still
       contented himself with gathering a flower or two, instead of attempting
       the hard toil requisite to raise a crop.
       It must not be omitted, that there was a fragrance in the room, which,
       unlike as the scene was, brought back, through so many years, to
       Redclyffe's mind a most vivid remembrance of poor old Doctor Grim's
       squalid chamber, with his wild, bearded presence in the midst of it,
       puffing his everlasting cloud; for here was the same smell of tobacco,
       and on the mantel-piece of a chimney lay a German pipe, and an old
       silver tobacco-box into which was wrought the leopard's head and the
       inscription in black letter. The Warden had evidently availed himself
       of one of the chief bachelor sources of comfort. Redclyffe, whose
       destiny had hitherto, and up to a very recent period, been to pass a
       feverishly active life, was greatly impressed by all these tokens of
       learned ease,--a degree of self-indulgence combined with duties enough
       to quiet an otherwise uneasy conscience,--by the consideration that
       this pensioner acted a good part in a world where no one is entitled to
       be an unprofitable laborer. He thought within himself, that his
       prospects in his own galvanized country, that seemed to him, a few
       years since, to offer such a career for an adventurous young man,
       conscious of motive power, had nothing so enticing as such a nook as
       this,--a quiet recess of unchangeable old time, around which the
       turbulent tide now eddied and rushed, but could not disturb it. Here,
       to be sure, hope, love, ambition, came not, progress came not; but here
       was what, just now, the early wearied American could appreciate better
       than aught else,--here was rest.
       The fantasy took Edward to imitate the useful labors of the learned
       Warden, and to make trial whether his own classical condition--the
       results of Doctor Grim's tuition, and subsequently that of an American
       College--had utterly deserted him, by attempting a translation of a few
       verses of Yankee Doodle; and he was making hopeful progress when the
       Warden came in fresh and rosy from a morning's ride in a keen east
       wind. He shook hands heartily with his guest, and, though by no means
       frigid at their former interview, seemed to have developed at once into
       a kindlier man, now that he had suffered the stranger to cross his
       threshold, and had thus made himself responsible for his comfort.
       "I shall take it greatly amiss," said he, "if you do not pick up fast
       under my roof, and gather a little English ruddiness, moreover, in the
       walks and rides that I mean to take you. Your countrymen, as I saw
       them, are a sallow set; but I think you must have English blood enough
       in your veins to eke out a ruddy tint, with the help of good English
       beef and ale, and daily draughts of wholesome light and air."
       "My cheeks would not have been so very pale," said Edward, laughing,
       "if an English shot had not deprived me of a good deal of my American
       blood."
       "Only follow my guidance," said the Warden, "and I assure you you shall
       have back whatever blood we have deprived you of, together with an
       addition. It is now luncheon-time, and we will begin the process of
       replenishing your veins."
       So they went into a refectory, where were spread upon the board what
       might have seemed a goodly dinner to most Americans; though for this
       Englishman it was but a by-incident, a slight refreshment, to enable
       him to pass the midway stage of life. It is an excellent thing to see
       the faith of a hearty Englishman in his own stomach, and how well that
       kindly organ repays his trust; with what devout assimilation he takes
       to himself his kindred beef, loving it, believing in it, making a good
       use of it, and without any qualms of conscience or prescience as to the
       result. They surely eat twice as much as we; and probably because of
       their undoubted faith it never does them any harm. Dyspepsia is merely
       a superstition with us. If we could cease to believe in its existence,
       it would exist no more. Redclyffe, eating little himself, his wound
       compelling him to be cautious as to his diet, was secretly delighted to
       see what sweets the Warden found in a cold round of beef, in a pigeon
       pie, and a cut or two of Yorkshire ham; not that he was ravenous, but
       that his stomach was so healthy.
       "You eat little, my friend," said the Warden, pouring out a glass of
       sherry for Redclyffe, and another for himself. "But you are right, in
       such a predicament as yours. Spare your stomach while you are weakly,
       and it will help you when you are strong This, now, is the most
       enjoyable meal of the day with me. You will not see me play such a
       knife and fork at dinner; though there too, especially if I have ridden
       out in the afternoon, I do pretty well. But, come now, if (like most of
       your countrymen, as I have heard) you are a lover of the weed, I can
       offer you some as delicate Latakia as you are likely to find in
       England."
       "I lack that claim upon your kindness, I am sorry to say," replied
       Redclyffe. "I am not a good smoker, though I have occasionally taken a
       cigar at need."
       "Well, when you find yourself growing old, and especially if you chance
       to be a bachelor, I advise you to cultivate the habit," said the
       Warden. "A wife is the only real obstacle or objection to a pipe; they
       can seldom be thoroughly reconciled, and therefore it is well for a man
       to consider, beforehand, which of the two he can best dispense with. I
       know not how it might have been once, had the conflicting claim of
       these two rivals ever been fairly presented to me; but I now should be
       at no loss to choose the pipe."
       They returned to the study; and while the Warden took his pipe,
       Redclyffe, considering that, as the guest of this hospitable
       Englishman, he had no right to continue a stranger, thought it fit to
       make known to him who he was, and his condition, plans, and purposes.
       He represented himself as having been liberally educated, bred to the
       law, but (to his misfortune) having turned aside from that profession
       to engage in politics. In this pursuit, indeed, his success wore a
       flattering outside; for he had become distinguished, and, though so
       young, a leader, locally at least, in the party which he had adopted.
       He had been, for a biennial term, a member of Congress, after winning
       some distinction in the legislature of his native State; but some one
       of those fitful changes to which American politics are peculiarly
       liable had thrown him out, in his candidacy for his second term; and
       the virulence of party animosity, the abusiveness of the press, had
       acted so much upon a disposition naturally somewhat too sensitive for
       the career which he had undertaken, that he had resolved, being now
       freed from legislative cares, to seize the opportunity for a visit to
       England, whither he was drawn by feelings which every educated and
       impressible American feels, in a degree scarcely conceivable by the
       English themselves. And being here (but he had already too much
       experience of English self-sufficiency to confess so much) he began to
       feel the deep yearning which a sensitive American--his mind full of
       English thoughts, his imagination of English poetry, his heart of
       English character and sentiment--cannot fail to be influenced by,--the
       yearning of the blood within his veins for that from which it has been
       estranged; the half-fanciful regret that he should ever have been
       separated from these woods, these fields, these natural features of
       scenery, to which his nature was moulded, from the men who are still so
       like himself, from these habits of life and thought which (though he
       may not have known them for two centuries) he still perceives to have
       remained in some mysterious way latent in the depths of his character,
       and soon to be reassumed, not as a foreigner would do it, but like
       habits native to him, and only suspended for a season.
       This had been Redclyffe's state of feeling ever since he landed in
       England, and every day seemed to make him more at home; so that it
       seemed as if he were gradually awakening to a former reality. _