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Essay(s) by Christopher Morley
The First Commencement Address
Christopher Morley
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       (_Delivered to Cain and Abel, the first graduating class of the Garden of Eden Normal School._)
        
       My young friends--It is a privilege to be permitted to address you this morning, for I am convinced that never in the world's history did the age beckon with so eager a gesture to the young men on the threshold of active life. Never indeed in the past, and certainly never in the future, was there or will there be a time more deeply fraught with significance. And as I gaze upon your keen faces it seems almost as though the world had amassed all the problems that now confront us merely in order to give you tasks worthy of your prowess.
       The world, I think I may safely say, is smaller now than ever before. The recent invention of young women, something quite new in the way of a social problem, has introduced a hitherto undreamed-of complexity into human affairs. The extreme rapidity with which ideas and thoughts now circulate, due to the new invention of speech, makes it probable that what is said in Eden to-day will be known in the land of Nod within a year. The greatest need is plainly for big-visioned and purposeful men, efficient men, men with forward-looking minds. I hope you will pattern after your admirable father in this respect; he truly was a forward-looking man, for he had nothing to look back on.
       You are aware, however, that your father has had serious problems to deal with, and it is well that you should consider those problems in the light of the experiences you are about to face. One of his most perplexing difficulties would never have come upon him if he had not fallen into a deep sleep. I counsel you, therefore, be wary not to overslumber. The prizes of life always come to those who press resolutely on, undaunted by fatigue and discouragement. Another of your father's failings was probably due to the fact that he was never a small boy and thus had no chance to work the deviltry out of his system. You yourselves have been abundantly blessed in this regard. I think I may say that here, in our Normal Academy, you have had an almost ideal playground to work off those boyish high spirits, to perpetrate those mischievous pranks that the world expects of its young. Remember that you are now going out into the mature work of life, where you will encounter serious problems.
       As you wend your way from these accustomed shades into the full glare of public life you will do so, I hope, with the consciousness that the eyes of the world are upon you. The sphere of activity in which you may find yourselves called upon to perform may be restricted, but you will remember that not failure but low aim is base. You will hold a just balance between the conflicting tendencies of radicalism and conservatism. You will endeavour to secure for labour its due share in the profits of labour. You will not be forgetful that all government depends in the last resort on the consent of the governed. These catch words in the full flush of your youth you may be inclined to dismiss as truisms, but I assure you that 10,000 years from now men will be uttering them with the same air of discovery.
       It is my great pleasure to confer upon you both the degree of bachelor of arts and to pray that you may never bring discredit upon your alma mater.
       [The end]
       Christopher Morley's essay: The First Commencement Address
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"Idolatry"
"Owd Bob"
"Peacock Pie"
1100 Words
163 Innocent Old Men
17 Heriot Row
Adventures At Lunch Time
Adventures In High Finance
Advice To Those Visiting A Baby
The American House Of Lords
The Apple That No One Ate
The Art Of Walking
As To Rumors
At The Gasthof Zum Ochsen
The Autogenesis Of A Poet
Books Of The Sea
Brown Eyes And Equinoxes
Bullied By The Birds
By The Fireplace
A Casual Of The Sea
Christmas Cards
A City Note-Book (New York)
A City Notebook (Philadelphia)
Clouds
The Club At Its Worst
The Club In Hoboken
The Club Of Abandoned Husbands
Confessions Of A "Colyumist"
Confessions Of A Smoker
Consider The Commuter
Cotswold Winds
Creed Of The Three Hours For Lunch Club
Dempsey Vs. Carpentier
A Dialogue (Between Dogs)
A Discovery
The Dog's Commandments
Don Marquis
The Downfall Of George Snipe
Fallacious Meditations On Criticism
Fellow Craftsmen
The First Commencement Address
Fixed Ideas
Frank Confessions Of A Publisher's Reader
A Friend Of Fitzgerald
Fulton Street, And Walt Whitman
Gissing (a dog's name)
Going To Philadelphia
A Good Home In The Suburbs
Greeting To American Anglers
The Haunting Beauty Of Strychnine
Hay Febrifuge
The Head Of The Firm
The Hilarity Of Hilaire
Housebroken
If Buying A Meal Were Like Buying A House
If Mr. Wilson Were The Weather Man
In Memoriam, Francis Barton Gummere
Ingo
Initiation
A Japanese Bachelor
Joyce Kilmer
The Key Ring
The Last Pipe
A Letter To A Sea Captain
A Letter To Father Time
Letters To Cynthia
Letting Out The Furnace
The Literary Pawnshop
The Little House
Magic In Salamis
Making Marathon Safe For The Urchin
The Man
A Marriage Service For Commuters
McSorley's
Meditations Of A Bookseller
A Message For Boonville
A Morning In Marathon
Moving
Mr. Conrad's New Preface
Mrs. Izaak Walton Writes A Letter To Her Mother
Musings Of John Mistletoe
My Friend
My Magnificent System
The Old Reliable
Old Thoughts For Christmas
On Doors
On Filling An Ink-Well
On Going To Bed
On Laziness
On Making Friends
On Unanswering Letters
On Visiting Bookshops
On Waiting For The Curtain To Go Up
One-Night Stands
Our Mothers
Our Tricolour Tie
The Owl Train
An Oxford Landlady
The Perfect Reader
The Permanence Of Poetry
A Poet Of Sad Vigils
A Portrait
A Preface To The Profession Of Journalism
Prefaces
A Question Of Plumage
Rhubarb
The Rudeness Of Poets
Rupert Brooke
Safety Pins
Secret Transactions Of The Three Hours For Lunch Club
Silas Orrin Howes
Sitting In The Barber's Chair
The Skipper
The Smell Of Smells
Some Inns
A Suburban Sentimentalist
The Sunny Side Of Grub Street
Surf Fishing
Syntax For Cynics, A Grammar Of The Feminine Language
Tadpoles
Tales Of Two Cities (Philadelphia & New York)
Teaching The Prince To Take Notes
Thoughts In The Subway
Thoughts On Cider
Time To Light The Furnace
The Tragedy Of Washington Square
A Tragic Smell In Marathon
Trials Of A President Traveling Abroad
Trivia
Truth
Two Days We Celebrate
Unhealthy
The Unnatural Naturalist
The Urchin At The Zoo
The Value Of Criticism
A Venture In Mysticism
Visiting Poets
Walt Whitman Miniatures
West Broadway
What Men Live By
William Mcfee
The World's Most Famous Oration