Essay(s) by Christopher Morley
The World's Most Famous Oration
Christopher Morley
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Address to An Employer Upon Demanding a Raise, or, The Battle of Manila Envelopes
As Planned As Delivered
I think you will admit, If you are not too
sir, that the quality busy, sir, there is one
of my work during the other matter--in fact,
last two years has been the truth of the matter
such that my services in fact is exactly--well,
could not easily be replaced. sir, I was precisely
I speak more wondering whether--of
in pain than in anger course I know this is a
when I say that it has bad time--indeed I have
been a matter of profound been very pleased to see
surprise to me to business picking up a
note that you have not bit lately, and I am sure
seen fit to acknowledge my own department has
my value to the firm in been--but to tell you the
some substantial way. I truth, sir, I have been
think I may say that wondering--of course it
I have been patient. is just as you think best
I have continued my and I wouldn't think of
efforts with unremitting insisting, but after all,
zeal, and I think I may perhaps I have made a
flatter myself that my mistake in mentioning
endeavors have not been it, but I was thinking
without result. I have that possibly you might
here, carefully tabulated, bear in mind the idea of
a memorandum of a possible future raise in
the increased profits in salary at some future time.
my department during
the last twelve months,
due in great part to my
careful management. I
am sorry to have to
force you into a decision,
but I think I owe it to
myself to say candidly
that unless you see the
matter in the same way
that I do I shall feel
obliged to deprive the
firm of my services.
[The end]
Christopher Morley's essay: The World's Most Famous Oration