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Essay(s) by Christopher Morley
Prefaces
Christopher Morley
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       It has long been my conviction that the most graceful function of authorship is the writing of prefaces. What is more pleasant than dashing off those few pages of genial introduction after all the dreary months of spading at the text? A paragraph or two as to the intentions of the book; allusions to the unexpected difficulties encountered during composition; neatly phrased gratitude to eminent friends who have given gracious assistance; and a touching allusion to the Critic on the Hearth who has done the indexing--one of the trials of the wives of literary men not mentioned by Mrs. Andrew Lang in her pleasant essay on that topic. A pious wish to receive criticisms "in case a second edition should be called for"; your address, and the date, add a homely touch at the end.
       How delightful this bit of pleasant intimacy after the real toil is over! It is like paterfamilias coming out of his house at dusk, after the hard day's work, to read his newspaper on the doorstep. Or it may be a bit of superb gesturing. No book is complete without a preface. Better a preface without a book....
       Many men have written books without prefaces. But not many have written prefaces without books. And yet I am convinced it is one of the subtlest pleasures. I have planned several books, not yet written; but the prefaces are all ready this many a day. Let me show you the sort of thing I mean.
        
       PREFACE TO "THE LETTERS OF ANDREW MCGILL"
       How well I remember the last time I saw Andrew McGill! It was in the dear old days at Rutgers, my last term. I was sitting over a book one brilliant May afternoon, rather despondent--there came a rush up the stairs and a thunder at the door. I knew his voice, and hurried to open. Poor, dear fellow, he was just back from tennis; I never saw him look so glorious. Tall and thin--he was always very thin, _see_ p. 219 and _passim_--with his long, brown face and sparkling black eyes--I can see him still rambling about the room in his flannels, his curly hair damp on his forehead. "Buzzard," he said--he always called me Buzzard--"guess what's happened?"
       "In love again?" I asked.
       He laughed. A bright, golden laugh--I can hear it still. His laughter was always infectious.
       "No," he said. "Dear silly old Buzzard, what do you think? I've won the Sylvanus Stall fellowship."
       I shall never forget that moment. It was very still, and in the college garden, just under my window, I could hear a party of Canadian girls deliciously admiring things. It was a cruel instant for me. I, too, in my plodding way, had sent in an essay for the prize, but without telling him. Must I confess it? I had never dared mention the subject for fear he, too, would compete. I knew that if he did he was sure to win. O petty jealousies, that seem so bitter now!
       "Rude old Buzzard," he said in his bantering way, "you haven't congratulated!"
       I pulled myself together.
       "Brindle," I said--I always called him Brindle; how sad the nickname sounds now--"you took my breath away. Dear lad, I'm overjoyed."
       It is four and twenty years since that May afternoon. I never saw him again. Never even heard him read the brilliant poem "Sunset from the Mons Veneris" that was the beginning of his career, for the week before commencement I was taken ill and sent abroad for my health. I never came back to New York; and he remained there. But I followed his career with the closest attention. Every newspaper cutting, every magazine article in which his name was mentioned, went into my scrapbook. And almost every week for twenty years he wrote to me--those long, radiant letters, so full of _verve_ and _elan_ and ringing, ruthless wit. There was always something very Gallic about his saltiness. "Oh, to be born a Frenchman!" he writes. "Why wasn't I born a Frenchman instead of a dour, dingy Scotsman? Oh, for the birthright of Montmartre! Stead of which I have the mess of pottage--stodgy, porridgy Scots pottage" (_see_ p. 189).
       He had his sombre moods, too. It was characteristic of him, when in a pet, to wish he had been born other-where than by the pebbles of Arbroath. "Oh, to have been born a Norseman!" he wrote once. "Oh, for the deep Scandinavian scourge of pain, the inbrooding, marrowy soul-ache of Ibsen! That is the fertilizing soil of tragedy. Tragedy springs from it, tall and white and stately like the lily from the dung. I will never be a tragedian. Oh, pebbles of Arbroath!"
       All the world knows how he died....
        
       PREFACE TO AN HISTORICAL WORK
       (In six volumes)
       The work upon which I have spent the best years of my life is at length finished. After two decades of uninterrupted toil, enlivened only by those small bickerings over _minutiae_ so dear to all scrupulous writers, I may perhaps be pardoned if I philosophize for a few moments on the functions of the historian.
       There are, of course, two technical modes of approach, quite apart from the preparatory contemplation of the field. (This last, I might add, has been singularly neglected by modern historians. My old friend, Professor Spondee, of Halle, though deservedly eminent in his chosen lot, is particularly open to criticism on this ground. I cannot emphasize too gravely the importance of preliminary calm--what Hobbes calls "the unprejudicated mind." But this by way of parenthesis.) One may attack the problem with the mortar trowel, or with the axe. Sismondi, I think, has observed this.
       Some such observations as these I was privileged to address to my very good friend, Professor Fish, of Yale, that justly renowned seat of learning, when lecturing in New Haven recently. His reply was witty--too witty to be apt, "Piscem natare doces," he said.
       I will admit that Professor Fish may be free from taint in this regard; but many historians of to-day are, I fear, imbued with that most dangerous tincture of historical cant which lays it down as a maxim that contemporary history cannot be judicially written.
       Those who have been kind enough to display some interest in the controversy between myself and M. Rougegorge--of the Sorbonne--in the matter of Lamartine's account of the elections to the Constituent Assembly of 1848, will remark several hitherto unobserved errors in Lamartine which I have been privileged to point out. For instance, Lamartine (who is supported _in toto_ by M. Rougegorge) asserts that the elections took place on Easter Sunday, April 27, 1848. Whereas, I am able to demonstrate, by reference to the astronomical tables at Kew Observatory, that in 1848 Easter Day fell upon April 23. M. Rougegorge's assertion that Lamartine was a slave to opium rests upon a humorous misinterpretation of Mme. Lamartine's diary. (The matter may be looked up by the curious in Annette User's "Annees avec les Lamartines." Oser was for many years the cook in Lamartine's household, and says some illuminating things regarding L.'s dislike of onions.)
       It is, of course, impossible for me to acknowledge individually the generous and stimulating assistance I have received from so many scholars in all parts of the world. The mere list of names would be like Southey's "Cataract of Lodore," and would be but an ungracious mode of returning thanks. I cannot, however, forbear to mention Professor Mandrake, of the Oxford Chair, _optimus maximus_ among modern historians. Of him I may say, in the fine words of Virgil, "Sedet aeternumque sedebit."
       My dear wife, fortunately a Serb by birth, has regularized my Slavic orthography, and has grown gray in the service of the index. To her, and to my little ones, whose merry laughter has so often penetrated to my study and cheered me at my travail, I dedicate the whole. _89, Decameron Gardens._
        
       PREFACE TO A BOOK OF POEMS
       This little selection of verses, to which I have given the title "Rari Nantes," was made at the instance of several friends. I have chosen from my published works those poems which seemed to me most faithfully to express my artistic message; and the title obviously implies that I think them the ones most likely to weather the maelstroms of Time. Be that as it may.
       Vachel Lindsay and I have often discussed over a glass of port (one glass only: alas, that Vachel should abstain!) the state of the Muse to-day. He deems that she now has fled from cities to dwell on the robuster champaigns of Illinois and Kansas. Would that I could agree; but I see her in the cities and everywhere, set down to menial taskwork. She were better in exile, on Ibsen's sand dunes or Maeterlinck's bee farm. But in America the times are very evil. Prodigious convulsion of production, the grinding of mighty forces, the noise and rushings of winds--and what avails? _Parturiunt montes_ ...you know the rest. The ridiculous mice squeak and scamper on the granary floor. They may play undisturbed, for the real poets, those great gray felines, are sifting loam under Westminster. Gramercy Park and the Poetry Society see them not.
       It matters not. With this little book my task is done. Vachel and I sail to-morrow for Nova Zembla.
       _The Grotto, Yonkers._
        
       PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION
       A second edition of "Rari Nantes" having been called for, I have added three more poems, Esquimodes written since arriving here. Also the "Prayer for Warm Weather," by Vachel Lindsay, is included, at his express request. The success of the first edition has been very gratifying to me. My publishers will please send reviews to _Bleak House, Nova Zembla_.
        
       PREFACE TO THE THIRD EDITION
       The rigorous climate of Nova Zembla I find most stimulating to production, and therefore in this new edition I am able to include several new poems. "The Ode to a Seamew," the "Fracas on an Ice Floe," and the sequence of triolimericks are all new. If I have been able to convey anything of the bracing vigour of the Nova Zembla _locale_ the praise is due to my friendly and suggestive critic, the editor of _Gooseflesh_, the leading Nova Zemblan review.
       Vachel Lindsay's new book, "The Tango," has not yet appeared, therefore I may perhaps say here that he is hard at work on an "Ode to the Gulf Stream," which has great promise.
       The success of this little book has been such that I am encouraged to hope that the publisher's exemption of royalties will soon be worked off.
       [The end]
       Christopher Morley's essay: Prefaces
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"Idolatry"
"Owd Bob"
"Peacock Pie"
1100 Words
163 Innocent Old Men
17 Heriot Row
Adventures At Lunch Time
Adventures In High Finance
Advice To Those Visiting A Baby
The American House Of Lords
The Apple That No One Ate
The Art Of Walking
As To Rumors
At The Gasthof Zum Ochsen
The Autogenesis Of A Poet
Books Of The Sea
Brown Eyes And Equinoxes
Bullied By The Birds
By The Fireplace
A Casual Of The Sea
Christmas Cards
A City Note-Book (New York)
A City Notebook (Philadelphia)
Clouds
The Club At Its Worst
The Club In Hoboken
The Club Of Abandoned Husbands
Confessions Of A "Colyumist"
Confessions Of A Smoker
Consider The Commuter
Cotswold Winds
Creed Of The Three Hours For Lunch Club
Dempsey Vs. Carpentier
A Dialogue (Between Dogs)
A Discovery
The Dog's Commandments
Don Marquis
The Downfall Of George Snipe
Fallacious Meditations On Criticism
Fellow Craftsmen
The First Commencement Address
Fixed Ideas
Frank Confessions Of A Publisher's Reader
A Friend Of Fitzgerald
Fulton Street, And Walt Whitman
Gissing (a dog's name)
Going To Philadelphia
A Good Home In The Suburbs
Greeting To American Anglers
The Haunting Beauty Of Strychnine
Hay Febrifuge
The Head Of The Firm
The Hilarity Of Hilaire
Housebroken
If Buying A Meal Were Like Buying A House
If Mr. Wilson Were The Weather Man
In Memoriam, Francis Barton Gummere
Ingo
Initiation
A Japanese Bachelor
Joyce Kilmer
The Key Ring
The Last Pipe
A Letter To A Sea Captain
A Letter To Father Time
Letters To Cynthia
Letting Out The Furnace
The Literary Pawnshop
The Little House
Magic In Salamis
Making Marathon Safe For The Urchin
The Man
A Marriage Service For Commuters
McSorley's
Meditations Of A Bookseller
A Message For Boonville
A Morning In Marathon
Moving
Mr. Conrad's New Preface
Mrs. Izaak Walton Writes A Letter To Her Mother
Musings Of John Mistletoe
My Friend
My Magnificent System
The Old Reliable
Old Thoughts For Christmas
On Doors
On Filling An Ink-Well
On Going To Bed
On Laziness
On Making Friends
On Unanswering Letters
On Visiting Bookshops
On Waiting For The Curtain To Go Up
One-Night Stands
Our Mothers
Our Tricolour Tie
The Owl Train
An Oxford Landlady
The Perfect Reader
The Permanence Of Poetry
A Poet Of Sad Vigils
A Portrait
A Preface To The Profession Of Journalism
Prefaces
A Question Of Plumage
Rhubarb
The Rudeness Of Poets
Rupert Brooke
Safety Pins
Secret Transactions Of The Three Hours For Lunch Club
Silas Orrin Howes
Sitting In The Barber's Chair
The Skipper
The Smell Of Smells
Some Inns
A Suburban Sentimentalist
The Sunny Side Of Grub Street
Surf Fishing
Syntax For Cynics, A Grammar Of The Feminine Language
Tadpoles
Tales Of Two Cities (Philadelphia & New York)
Teaching The Prince To Take Notes
Thoughts In The Subway
Thoughts On Cider
Time To Light The Furnace
The Tragedy Of Washington Square
A Tragic Smell In Marathon
Trials Of A President Traveling Abroad
Trivia
Truth
Two Days We Celebrate
Unhealthy
The Unnatural Naturalist
The Urchin At The Zoo
The Value Of Criticism
A Venture In Mysticism
Visiting Poets
Walt Whitman Miniatures
West Broadway
What Men Live By
William Mcfee
The World's Most Famous Oration