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Essay(s) by Christopher Morley
A Portrait
Christopher Morley
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       "My idea of life," said my friend S----, "would be to have a nice lawn running down to the water, several deck-chairs, plenty of tobacco, and three or four of us to sit there all day long and listen to B---- talk."
       I suppose that B----,--I wish I could name him, but it would be an indecency to do so, for part of his charm is his complete unconsciousness of the affection, and even adoration, of the little group of younger men who call themselves his "fans"--I suppose that B----'s talk is as nearly Johnsonian in virtue and pungency as any spoken wisdom now hearable in this country. To know him is, in the absolute truth of that enduring phrase, a liberal education. To his simplicity, his valorous militancy for truth, he joins the mind of a great scholar, the placable spirit of an eager child.
       I said "Johnsonian"--yet even in the great Doctor as we have him recorded there were a certain truculence and vehemence that are a little foreign to B----'s habit. Fearless champion as he is, there is always a gentleness about him. Even when his voice deepens and he is well launched on a long argument, he is never brutally dogmatic, never cruelly discourteous.
       The beauty of B----'s talk, the quality that would make it a delight to listen to him all a summer afternoon, is that he gives, unconsciously, a perfect exhibition of a perfect process, a great mind in motion. His mind is too full, too crowded, too ratiocinative, for easy and frugal utterance. Sometimes, unless one is an acute listener, he is almost incoherent in his zeal to express all the phases and facets of the thought that flashes upon him. And yet, if one could (unknown to him) have a stenographer behind the arras to take it all down, so that his argument could be analyzed at leisure, it would show its anatomical knitting and structure. Do you remember how Burke's speech on Conciliation was parsed and sub-headed in the preface to the school-texts? Just so, in I and II and III, A. B. and C, ([alpha]), ([beta]), and ([gamma]), i, ii, and iii, we could articulate the strict and bony logic that vertebrates B----'s talk. Reservations, exceptions, qualifications, parentheses, sub-clauses, and humorous paraphrases swim upon him as he goes, and he deals with each as it comes. Sometimes, one thinks, he has lost the spine of the discourse, is mazed in a ganglion of nerves and sinews. But no! give him time and back he comes to the marrow of his theme!
       What a happiness this is to listen to--he (bless his heart) now and then apologizing for his copiousness, little dreaming that we are all better men for hearing him; that his great gray head and clear kindly eye ("His mild and magnificent eye": whose is that phrase?) are to us a symbol of Socratic virtue and power; that there is not one of us who, after an hour or so with him, does not depart with private resolutions of honour and fidelity to wisdom. How he irrigates his subject, whatever it is.
       I'll tell you who Time gallops withal! It is when B---- sits down at a corner table of some chophouse, and (the rest of us seeing to it that the meal gets ordered, and now and then saying something about the food so that he will remember to eat) we marvel to watch the glow and business of a mind so great paired with a heart so simple.
       "My idea is this," he says, "subject to an exception which I will state in a moment." Taking up his exception, he makes it so lucid, so pregnant, so comprehensive, so irresistible, that it seems to us the whole and satisfying dogma; and then, suddenly turning it inside-outward, he reveals the seams, and we remember that it was only a trifling nexus in the rational series. He returns to his main thesis, and other counterpoising arguments occur to him. He outlines them, with delicious AEsopian sagacity. "Of course this analysis is only quantitative, not qualitative," he says. "But I will now restate my position with all the necessary reservations, and we'll see if it will hold water."
       We smile, and look at each other slyly, in the sheer happiness of enjoying a perfect work of art. He must be a mere quintain, a poor lifeless block, who does not revel in such an exhibition, where those two rare qualities of mind--honesty and agility--are locked in one.
       Of course--it is hardly necessary to say--we do not always agree with everything he says. But we could not disagree with _him_; for we see that his broad, shrewd, troubled spirit could take no other view, arising out of the very multitude and swarm and pressure of his thought. Those who plod diligently and narrowly along a country lane may sometimes reach the destination less fatigued than the more conscientious and passionate traveller who quarters the fields and beats the bounds, intent to leave no covert unscrutinized. But in him we see and love and revere something rare and precious, not often found in our present way of life; in matters concerning the happiness of others, a devoted spirit of unrivalled wisdom; in those pertaining to himself, a child's unblemished innocence. The perplexities of others are his daily study; his own pleasures, a constant surprise.
       [The end]
       Christopher Morley's essay: A Portrait
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"Idolatry"
"Owd Bob"
"Peacock Pie"
1100 Words
163 Innocent Old Men
17 Heriot Row
Adventures At Lunch Time
Adventures In High Finance
Advice To Those Visiting A Baby
The American House Of Lords
The Apple That No One Ate
The Art Of Walking
As To Rumors
At The Gasthof Zum Ochsen
The Autogenesis Of A Poet
Books Of The Sea
Brown Eyes And Equinoxes
Bullied By The Birds
By The Fireplace
A Casual Of The Sea
Christmas Cards
A City Note-Book (New York)
A City Notebook (Philadelphia)
Clouds
The Club At Its Worst
The Club In Hoboken
The Club Of Abandoned Husbands
Confessions Of A "Colyumist"
Confessions Of A Smoker
Consider The Commuter
Cotswold Winds
Creed Of The Three Hours For Lunch Club
Dempsey Vs. Carpentier
A Dialogue (Between Dogs)
A Discovery
The Dog's Commandments
Don Marquis
The Downfall Of George Snipe
Fallacious Meditations On Criticism
Fellow Craftsmen
The First Commencement Address
Fixed Ideas
Frank Confessions Of A Publisher's Reader
A Friend Of Fitzgerald
Fulton Street, And Walt Whitman
Gissing (a dog's name)
Going To Philadelphia
A Good Home In The Suburbs
Greeting To American Anglers
The Haunting Beauty Of Strychnine
Hay Febrifuge
The Head Of The Firm
The Hilarity Of Hilaire
Housebroken
If Buying A Meal Were Like Buying A House
If Mr. Wilson Were The Weather Man
In Memoriam, Francis Barton Gummere
Ingo
Initiation
A Japanese Bachelor
Joyce Kilmer
The Key Ring
The Last Pipe
A Letter To A Sea Captain
A Letter To Father Time
Letters To Cynthia
Letting Out The Furnace
The Literary Pawnshop
The Little House
Magic In Salamis
Making Marathon Safe For The Urchin
The Man
A Marriage Service For Commuters
McSorley's
Meditations Of A Bookseller
A Message For Boonville
A Morning In Marathon
Moving
Mr. Conrad's New Preface
Mrs. Izaak Walton Writes A Letter To Her Mother
Musings Of John Mistletoe
My Friend
My Magnificent System
The Old Reliable
Old Thoughts For Christmas
On Doors
On Filling An Ink-Well
On Going To Bed
On Laziness
On Making Friends
On Unanswering Letters
On Visiting Bookshops
On Waiting For The Curtain To Go Up
One-Night Stands
Our Mothers
Our Tricolour Tie
The Owl Train
An Oxford Landlady
The Perfect Reader
The Permanence Of Poetry
A Poet Of Sad Vigils
A Portrait
A Preface To The Profession Of Journalism
Prefaces
A Question Of Plumage
Rhubarb
The Rudeness Of Poets
Rupert Brooke
Safety Pins
Secret Transactions Of The Three Hours For Lunch Club
Silas Orrin Howes
Sitting In The Barber's Chair
The Skipper
The Smell Of Smells
Some Inns
A Suburban Sentimentalist
The Sunny Side Of Grub Street
Surf Fishing
Syntax For Cynics, A Grammar Of The Feminine Language
Tadpoles
Tales Of Two Cities (Philadelphia & New York)
Teaching The Prince To Take Notes
Thoughts In The Subway
Thoughts On Cider
Time To Light The Furnace
The Tragedy Of Washington Square
A Tragic Smell In Marathon
Trials Of A President Traveling Abroad
Trivia
Truth
Two Days We Celebrate
Unhealthy
The Unnatural Naturalist
The Urchin At The Zoo
The Value Of Criticism
A Venture In Mysticism
Visiting Poets
Walt Whitman Miniatures
West Broadway
What Men Live By
William Mcfee
The World's Most Famous Oration