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The Uncommercial Traveller
CHAPTER IV - TWO VIEWS OF A CHEAP THEATRE
Charles Dickens
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       _ As I shut the door of my lodging behind me, and came out into the
       streets at six on a drizzling Saturday evening in the last past
       month of January, all that neighbourhood of Covent-garden looked
       very desolate. It is so essentially a neighbourhood which has seen
       better days, that bad weather affects it sooner than another place
       which has not come down in the World. In its present reduced
       condition it bears a thaw almost worse than any place I know. It
       gets so dreadfully low-spirited when damp breaks forth. Those
       wonderful houses about Drury-lane Theatre, which in the palmy days
       of theatres were prosperous and long-settled places of business,
       and which now change hands every week, but never change their
       character of being divided and sub-divided on the ground floor into
       mouldy dens of shops where an orange and half-a-dozen nuts, or a
       pomatum-pot, one cake of fancy soap, and a cigar box, are offered
       for sale and never sold, were most ruefully contemplated that
       evening, by the statue of Shakespeare, with the rain-drops coursing
       one another down its innocent nose. Those inscrutable pigeon-hole
       offices, with nothing in them (not so much as an inkstand) but a
       model of a theatre before the curtain, where, in the Italian Opera
       season, tickets at reduced prices are kept on sale by nomadic
       gentlemen in smeary hats too tall for them, whom one occasionally
       seems to have seen on race-courses, not wholly unconnected with
       strips of cloth of various colours and a rolling ball--those
       Bedouin establishments, deserted by the tribe, and tenantless,
       except when sheltering in one corner an irregular row of ginger-
       beer bottles, which would have made one shudder on such a night,
       but for its being plain that they had nothing in them, shrunk from
       the shrill cries of the news-boys at their Exchange in the kennel
       of Catherine-street, like guilty things upon a fearful summons. At
       the pipe-shop in Great Russell-street, the Death's-head pipes were
       like theatrical memento mori, admonishing beholders of the decline
       of the playhouse as an Institution. I walked up Bow-street,
       disposed to be angry with the shops there, that were letting out
       theatrical secrets by exhibiting to work-a-day humanity the stuff
       of which diadems and robes of kings are made. I noticed that some
       shops which had once been in the dramatic line, and had struggled
       out of it, were not getting on prosperously--like some actors I
       have known, who took to business and failed to make it answer. In
       a word, those streets looked so dull, and, considered as theatrical
       streets, so broken and bankrupt, that the FOUND DEAD on the black
       board at the police station might have announced the decease of the
       Drama, and the pools of water outside the fire-engine maker's at
       the corner of Long-acre might have been occasioned by his having
       brought out the whole of his stock to play upon its last
       smouldering ashes.
       And yet, on such a night in so degenerate a time, the object of my
       journey was theatrical. And yet within half an hour I was in an
       immense theatre, capable of holding nearly five thousand people.
       What Theatre? Her Majesty's? Far better. Royal Italian Opera?
       Far better. Infinitely superior to the latter for hearing in;
       infinitely superior to both, for seeing in. To every part of this
       Theatre, spacious fire-proof ways of ingress and egress. For every
       part of it, convenient places of refreshment and retiring rooms.
       Everything to eat and drink carefully supervised as to quality, and
       sold at an appointed price; respectable female attendants ready for
       the commonest women in the audience; a general air of
       consideration, decorum, and supervision, most commendable; an
       unquestionably humanising influence in all the social arrangements
       of the place.
       Surely a dear Theatre, then? Because there were in London (not
       very long ago) Theatres with entrance-prices up to half-a-guinea a
       head, whose arrangements were not half so civilised. Surely,
       therefore, a dear Theatre? Not very dear. A gallery at three-
       pence, another gallery at fourpence, a pit at sixpence, boxes and
       pit-stalls at a shilling, and a few private boxes at half-a-crown.
       My uncommercial curiosity induced me to go into every nook of this
       great place, and among every class of the audience assembled in it-
       -amounting that evening, as I calculated, to about two thousand and
       odd hundreds. Magnificently lighted by a firmament of sparkling
       chandeliers, the building was ventilated to perfection. My sense
       of smell, without being particularly delicate, has been so offended
       in some of the commoner places of public resort, that I have often
       been obliged to leave them when I have made an uncommercial journey
       expressly to look on. The air of this Theatre was fresh, cool, and
       wholesome. To help towards this end, very sensible precautions had
       been used, ingeniously combining the experience of hospitals and
       railway stations. Asphalt pavements substituted for wooden floors,
       honest bare walls of glazed brick and tile--even at the back of the
       boxes--for plaster and paper, no benches stuffed, and no carpeting
       or baize used; a cool material with a light glazed surface, being
       the covering of the seats.
       These various contrivances are as well considered in the place in
       question as if it were a Fever Hospital; the result is, that it is
       sweet and healthful. It has been constructed from the ground to
       the roof, with a careful reference to sight and sound in every
       corner; the result is, that its form is beautiful, and that the
       appearance of the audience, as seen from the proscenium--with every
       face in it commanding the stage, and the whole so admirably raked
       and turned to that centre, that a hand can scarcely move in the
       great assemblage without the movement being seen from thence--is
       highly remarkable in its union of vastness with compactness. The
       stage itself, and all its appurtenances of machinery, cellarage,
       height and breadth, are on a scale more like the Scala at Milan, or
       the San Carlo at Naples, or the Grand Opera at Paris, than any
       notion a stranger would be likely to form of the Britannia Theatre
       at Hoxton, a mile north of St. Luke's Hospital in the Old-street-
       road, London. The Forty Thieves might be played here, and every
       thief ride his real horse, and the disguised captain bring in his
       oil jars on a train of real camels, and nobody be put out of the
       way. This really extraordinary place is the achievement of one
       man's enterprise, and was erected on the ruins of an inconvenient
       old building in less than five months, at a round cost of five-and-
       twenty thousand pounds. To dismiss this part of my subject, and
       still to render to the proprietor the credit that is strictly his
       due, I must add that his sense of the responsibility upon him to
       make the best of his audience, and to do his best for them, is a
       highly agreeable sign of these times.
       As the spectators at this theatre, for a reason I will presently
       show, were the object of my journey, I entered on the play of the
       night as one of the two thousand and odd hundreds, by looking about
       me at my neighbours. We were a motley assemblage of people, and we
       had a good many boys and young men among us; we had also many girls
       and young women. To represent, however, that we did not include a
       very great number, and a very fair proportion of family groups,
       would be to make a gross mis-statement. Such groups were to be
       seen in all parts of the house; in the boxes and stalls
       particularly, they were composed of persons of very decent
       appearance, who had many children with them. Among our dresses
       there were most kinds of shabby and greasy wear, and much fustian
       and corduroy that was neither sound nor fragrant. The caps of our
       young men were mostly of a limp character, and we who wore them,
       slouched, high-shouldered, into our places with our hands in our
       pockets, and occasionally twisted our cravats about our necks like
       eels, and occasionally tied them down our breasts like links of
       sausages, and occasionally had a screw in our hair over each cheek-
       bone with a slight Thief-flavour in it. Besides prowlers and
       idlers, we were mechanics, dock-labourers, costermongers, petty
       tradesmen, small clerks, milliners, stay-makers, shoe-binders,
       slop-workers, poor workers in a hundred highways and byways. Many
       of us--on the whole, the majority--were not at all clean, and not
       at all choice in our lives or conversation. But we had all come
       together in a place where our convenience was well consulted, and
       where we were well looked after, to enjoy an evening's
       entertainment in common. We were not going to lose any part of
       what we had paid for through anybody's caprice, and as a community
       we had a character to lose. So, we were closely attentive, and
       kept excellent order; and let the man or boy who did otherwise
       instantly get out from this place, or we would put him out with the
       greatest expedition.
       We began at half-past six with a pantomime--with a pantomime so
       long, that before it was over I felt as if I had been travelling
       for six weeks--going to India, say, by the Overland Mail. The
       Spirit of Liberty was the principal personage in the Introduction,
       and the Four Quarters of the World came out of the globe,
       glittering, and discoursed with the Spirit, who sang charmingly.
       We were delighted to understand that there was no liberty anywhere
       but among ourselves, and we highly applauded the agreeable fact.
       In an allegorical way, which did as well as any other way, we and
       the Spirit of Liberty got into a kingdom of Needles and Pins, and
       found them at war with a potentate who called in to his aid their
       old arch enemy Rust, and who would have got the better of them if
       the Spirit of Liberty had not in the nick of time transformed the
       leaders into Clown, Pantaloon, Harlequin, Columbine, Harlequina,
       and a whole family of Sprites, consisting of a remarkably stout
       father and three spineless sons. We all knew what was coming when
       the Spirit of Liberty addressed the king with a big face, and His
       Majesty backed to the side-scenes and began untying himself behind,
       with his big face all on one side. Our excitement at that crisis
       was great, and our delight unbounded. After this era in our
       existence, we went through all the incidents of a pantomime; it was
       not by any means a savage pantomime, in the way of burning or
       boiling people, or throwing them out of window, or cutting them up;
       was often very droll; was always liberally got up, and cleverly
       presented. I noticed that the people who kept the shops, and who
       represented the passengers in the thoroughfares, and so forth, had
       no conventionality in them, but were unusually like the real thing-
       -from which I infer that you may take that audience in (if you wish
       to) concerning Knights and Ladies, Fairies, Angels, or such like,
       but they are not to be done as to anything in the streets. I
       noticed, also, that when two young men, dressed in exact imitation
       of the eel-and-sausage-cravated portion of the audience, were
       chased by policemen, and, finding themselves in danger of being
       caught, dropped so suddenly as to oblige the policemen to tumble
       over them, there was great rejoicing among the caps--as though it
       were a delicate reference to something they had heard of before.
       The Pantomime was succeeded by a Melo-Drama. Throughout the
       evening I was pleased to observe Virtue quite as triumphant as she
       usually is out of doors, and indeed I thought rather more so. We
       all agreed (for the time) that honesty was the best policy, and we
       were as hard as iron upon Vice, and we wouldn't hear of Villainy
       getting on in the world--no, not on any consideration whatever.
       Between the pieces, we almost all of us went out and refreshed.
       Many of us went the length of drinking beer at the bar of the
       neighbouring public-house, some of us drank spirits, crowds of us
       had sandwiches and ginger-beer at the refreshment-bars established
       for us in the Theatre. The sandwich--as substantial as was
       consistent with portability, and as cheap as possible--we hailed as
       one of our greatest institutions. It forced its way among us at
       all stages of the entertainment, and we were always delighted to
       see it; its adaptability to the varying moods of our nature was
       surprising; we could never weep so comfortably as when our tears
       fell on our sandwich; we could never laugh so heartily as when we
       choked with sandwich; Virtue never looked so beautiful or Vice so
       deformed as when we paused, sandwich in hand, to consider what
       would come of that resolution of Wickedness in boots, to sever
       Innocence in flowered chintz from Honest Industry in striped
       stockings. When the curtain fell for the night, we still fell back
       upon sandwich, to help us through the rain and mire, and home to
       bed.
       This, as I have mentioned, was Saturday night. Being Saturday
       night, I had accomplished but the half of my uncommercial journey;
       for, its object was to compare the play on Saturday evening with
       the preaching in the same Theatre on Sunday evening.
       Therefore, at the same hour of half-past six on the similarly damp
       and muddy Sunday evening, I returned to this Theatre. I drove up
       to the entrance (fearful of being late, or I should have come on
       foot), and found myself in a large crowd of people who, I am happy
       to state, were put into excellent spirits by my arrival. Having
       nothing to look at but the mud and the closed doors, they looked at
       me, and highly enjoyed the comic spectacle. My modesty inducing me
       to draw off, some hundreds of yards, into a dark corner, they at
       once forgot me, and applied themselves to their former occupation
       of looking at the mud and looking in at the closed doors: which,
       being of grated ironwork, allowed the lighted passage within to be
       seen. They were chiefly people of respectable appearance, odd and
       impulsive as most crowds are, and making a joke of being there as
       most crowds do.
       In the dark corner I might have sat a long while, but that a very
       obliging passer-by informed me that the Theatre was already full,
       and that the people whom I saw in the street were all shut out for
       want of room. After that, I lost no time in worming myself into
       the building, and creeping to a place in a Proscenium box that had
       been kept for me.
       There must have been full four thousand people present. Carefully
       estimating the pit alone, I could bring it out as holding little
       less than fourteen hundred. Every part of the house was well
       filled, and I had not found it easy to make my way along the back
       of the boxes to where I sat. The chandeliers in the ceiling were
       lighted; there was no light on the stage; the orchestra was empty.
       The green curtain was down, and, packed pretty closely on chairs on
       the small space of stage before it, were some thirty gentlemen, and
       two or three ladies. In the centre of these, in a desk or pulpit
       covered with red baize, was the presiding minister. The kind of
       rostrum he occupied will be very well understood, if I liken it to
       a boarded-up fireplace turned towards the audience, with a
       gentleman in a black surtout standing in the stove and leaning
       forward over the mantelpiece.
       A portion of Scripture was being read when I went in. It was
       followed by a discourse, to which the congregation listened with
       most exemplary attention and uninterrupted silence and decorum. My
       own attention comprehended both the auditory and the speaker, and
       shall turn to both in this recalling of the scene, exactly as it
       did at the time.
       'A very difficult thing,' I thought, when the discourse began, 'to
       speak appropriately to so large an audience, and to speak with
       tact. Without it, better not to speak at all. Infinitely better,
       to read the New Testament well, and to let THAT speak. In this
       congregation there is indubitably one pulse; but I doubt if any
       power short of genius can touch it as one, and make it answer as
       one.'
       I could not possibly say to myself as the discourse proceeded, that
       the minister was a good speaker. I could not possibly say to
       myself that he expressed an understanding of the general mind and
       character of his audience. There was a supposititious working-man
       introduced into the homily, to make supposititious objections to
       our Christian religion and be reasoned down, who was not only a
       very disagreeable person, but remarkably unlike life--very much
       more unlike it than anything I had seen in the pantomime. The
       native independence of character this artisan was supposed to
       possess, was represented by a suggestion of a dialect that I
       certainly never heard in my uncommercial travels, and with a coarse
       swing of voice and manner anything but agreeable to his feelings, I
       should conceive, considered in the light of a portrait, and as far
       away from the fact as a Chinese Tartar. There was a model pauper
       introduced in like manner, who appeared to me to be the most
       intolerably arrogant pauper ever relieved, and to show himself in
       absolute want and dire necessity of a course of Stone Yard. For,
       how did this pauper testify to his having received the gospel of
       humility? A gentleman met him in the workhouse, and said (which I
       myself really thought good-natured of him), 'Ah, John? I am sorry
       to see you here. I am sorry to see you so poor.' 'Poor, sir!'
       replied that man, drawing himself up, 'I am the son of a Prince!
       MY father is the King of Kings. MY father is the Lord of Lords.
       MY father is the ruler of all the Princes of the Earth!' &c. And
       this was what all the preacher's fellow-sinners might come to, if
       they would embrace this blessed book--which I must say it did some
       violence to my own feelings of reverence, to see held out at arm's
       length at frequent intervals and soundingly slapped, like a slow
       lot at a sale. Now, could I help asking myself the question,
       whether the mechanic before me, who must detect the preacher as
       being wrong about the visible manner of himself and the like of
       himself, and about such a noisy lip-server as that pauper, might
       not, most unhappily for the usefulness of the occasion, doubt that
       preacher's being right about things not visible to human senses?
       Again. Is it necessary or advisable to address such an audience
       continually as 'fellow-sinners'? Is it not enough to be fellow-
       creatures, born yesterday, suffering and striving to-day, dying to-
       morrow? By our common humanity, my brothers and sisters, by our
       common capacities for pain and pleasure, by our common laughter and
       our common tears, by our common aspiration to reach something
       better than ourselves, by our common tendency to believe in
       something good, and to invest whatever we love or whatever we lose
       with some qualities that are superior to our own failings and
       weaknesses as we know them in our own poor hearts--by these, Hear
       me!--Surely, it is enough to be fellow-creatures. Surely, it
       includes the other designation, and some touching meanings over and
       above.
       Again. There was a personage introduced into the discourse (not an
       absolute novelty, to the best of my remembrance of my reading), who
       had been personally known to the preacher, and had been quite a
       Crichton in all the ways of philosophy, but had been an infidel.
       Many a time had the preacher talked with him on that subject, and
       many a time had he failed to convince that intelligent man. But he
       fell ill, and died, and before he died he recorded his conversion--
       in words which the preacher had taken down, my fellow-sinners, and
       would read to you from this piece of paper. I must confess that to
       me, as one of an uninstructed audience, they did not appear
       particularly edifying. I thought their tone extremely selfish, and
       I thought they had a spiritual vanity in them which was of the
       before-mentioned refractory pauper's family.
       All slangs and twangs are objectionable everywhere, but the slang
       and twang of the conventicle--as bad in its way as that of the
       House of Commons, and nothing worse can be said of it--should be
       studiously avoided under such circumstances as I describe. The
       avoidance was not complete on this occasion. Nor was it quite
       agreeable to see the preacher addressing his pet 'points' to his
       backers on the stage, as if appealing to those disciples to show
       him up, and testify to the multitude that each of those points was
       a clincher.
       But, in respect of the large Christianity of his general tone; of
       his renunciation of all priestly authority; of his earnest and
       reiterated assurance to the people that the commonest among them
       could work out their own salvation if they would, by simply,
       lovingly, and dutifully following Our Saviour, and that they needed
       the mediation of no erring man; in these particulars, this
       gentleman deserved all praise. Nothing could be better than the
       spirit, or the plain emphatic words of his discourse in these
       respects. And it was a most significant and encouraging
       circumstance that whenever he struck that chord, or whenever he
       described anything which Christ himself had done, the array of
       faces before him was very much more earnest, and very much more
       expressive of emotion, than at any other time.
       And now, I am brought to the fact, that the lowest part of the
       audience of the previous night, WAS NOT THERE. There is no doubt
       about it. There was no such thing in that building, that Sunday
       evening. I have been told since, that the lowest part of the
       audience of the Victoria Theatre has been attracted to its Sunday
       services. I have been very glad to hear it, but on this occasion
       of which I write, the lowest part of the usual audience of the
       Britannia Theatre, decidedly and unquestionably stayed away. When
       I first took my seat and looked at the house, my surprise at the
       change in its occupants was as great as my disappointment. To the
       most respectable class of the previous evening, was added a great
       number of respectable strangers attracted by curiosity, and drafts
       from the regular congregations of various chapels. It was
       impossible to fail in identifying the character of these last, and
       they were very numerous. I came out in a strong, slow tide of them
       setting from the boxes. Indeed, while the discourse was in
       progress, the respectable character of the auditory was so manifest
       in their appearance, that when the minister addressed a
       supposititious 'outcast,' one really felt a little impatient of it,
       as a figure of speech not justified by anything the eye could
       discover.
       The time appointed for the conclusion of the proceedings was eight
       o'clock. The address having lasted until full that time, and it
       being the custom to conclude with a hymn, the preacher intimated in
       a few sensible words that the clock had struck the hour, and that
       those who desired to go before the hymn was sung, could go now,
       without giving offence. No one stirred. The hymn was then sung,
       in good time and tune and unison, and its effect was very striking.
       A comprehensive benevolent prayer dismissed the throng, and in
       seven or eight minutes there was nothing left in the Theatre but a
       light cloud of dust.
       That these Sunday meetings in Theatres are good things, I do not
       doubt. Nor do I doubt that they will work lower and lower down in
       the social scale, if those who preside over them will be very
       careful on two heads: firstly, not to disparage the places in
       which they speak, or the intelligence of their hearers; secondly,
       not to set themselves in antagonism to the natural inborn desire of
       the mass of mankind to recreate themselves and to be amused.
       There is a third head, taking precedence of all others, to which my
       remarks on the discourse I heard, have tended. In the New
       Testament there is the most beautiful and affecting history
       conceivable by man, and there are the terse models for all prayer
       and for all preaching. As to the models, imitate them, Sunday
       preachers--else why are they there, consider? As to the history,
       tell it. Some people cannot read, some people will not read, many
       people (this especially holds among the young and ignorant) find it
       hard to pursue the verse-form in which the book is presented to
       them, and imagine that those breaks imply gaps and want of
       continuity. Help them over that first stumbling-block, by setting
       forth the history in narrative, with no fear of exhausting it. You
       will never preach so well, you will never move them so profoundly,
       you will never send them away with half so much to think of. Which
       is the better interest: Christ's choice of twelve poor men to help
       in those merciful wonders among the poor and rejected; or the pious
       bullying of a whole Union-full of paupers? What is your changed
       philosopher to wretched me, peeping in at the door out of the mud
       of the streets and of my life, when you have the widow's son to
       tell me about, the ruler's daughter, the other figure at the door
       when the brother of the two sisters was dead, and one of the two
       ran to the mourner, crying, 'The Master is come and calleth for
       thee'?--Let the preacher who will thoroughly forget himself and
       remember no individuality but one, and no eloquence but one, stand
       up before four thousand men and women at the Britannia Theatre any
       Sunday night, recounting that narrative to them as fellow
       creatures, and he shall see a sight! _