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The Uncommercial Traveller
CHAPTER XXX - THE RUFFIAN
Charles Dickens
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       _ I entertain so strong an objection to the euphonious softening of
       Ruffian into Rough, which has lately become popular, that I restore
       the right word to the heading of this paper; the rather, as my
       object is to dwell upon the fact that the Ruffian is tolerated
       among us to an extent that goes beyond all unruffianly endurance.
       I take the liberty to believe that if the Ruffian besets my life, a
       professional Ruffian at large in the open streets of a great city,
       notoriously having no other calling than that of Ruffian, and of
       disquieting and despoiling me as I go peacefully about my lawful
       business, interfering with no one, then the Government under which
       I have the great constitutional privilege, supreme honour and
       happiness, and all the rest of it, to exist, breaks down in the
       discharge of any Government's most simple elementary duty.
       What did I read in the London daily papers, in the early days of
       this last September? That the Police had 'AT LENGTH SUCCEEDED IN
       CAPTURING TWO OF THE NOTORIOUS GANG THAT HAVE SO LONG INVESTED THE
       WATERLOO ROAD.' Is it possible? What a wonderful Police! Here is
       a straight, broad, public thoroughfare of immense resort; half a
       mile long; gas-lighted by night; with a great gas-lighted railway
       station in it, extra the street lamps; full of shops; traversed by
       two popular cross thoroughfares of considerable traffic; itself the
       main road to the South of London; and the admirable Police have,
       after long infestment of this dark and lonely spot by a gang of
       Ruffians, actually got hold of two of them. Why, can it be doubted
       that any man of fair London knowledge and common resolution, armed
       with the powers of the Law, could have captured the whole
       confederacy in a week?
       It is to the saving up of the Ruffian class by the Magistracy and
       Police--to the conventional preserving of them, as if they were
       Partridges--that their number and audacity must be in great part
       referred. Why is a notorious Thief and Ruffian ever left at large?
       He never turns his liberty to any account but violence and plunder,
       he never did a day's work out of gaol, he never will do a day's
       work out of gaol. As a proved notorious Thief he is always
       consignable to prison for three months. When he comes out, he is
       surely as notorious a Thief as he was when he went in. Then send
       him back again. 'Just Heaven!' cries the Society for the
       protection of remonstrant Ruffians. 'This is equivalent to a
       sentence of perpetual imprisonment!' Precisely for that reason it
       has my advocacy. I demand to have the Ruffian kept out of my way,
       and out of the way of all decent people. I demand to have the
       Ruffian employed, perforce, in hewing wood and drawing water
       somewhere for the general service, instead of hewing at her
       Majesty's subjects and drawing their watches out of their pockets.
       If this be termed an unreasonable demand, then the tax-gatherer's
       demand on me must be far more unreasonable, and cannot be otherwise
       than extortionate and unjust.
       It will be seen that I treat of the Thief and Ruffian as one. I do
       so, because I know the two characters to be one, in the vast
       majority of cases, just as well as the Police know it. (As to the
       Magistracy, with a few exceptions, they know nothing about it but
       what the Police choose to tell them.) There are disorderly classes
       of men who are not thieves; as railway-navigators, brickmakers,
       wood-sawyers, costermongers. These classes are often disorderly
       and troublesome; but it is mostly among themselves, and at any rate
       they have their industrious avocations, they work early and late,
       and work hard. The generic Ruffian--honourable member for what is
       tenderly called the Rough Element--is either a Thief, or the
       companion of Thieves. When he infamously molests women coming out
       of chapel on Sunday evenings (for which I would have his back
       scarified often and deep) it is not only for the gratification of
       his pleasant instincts, but that there may be a confusion raised by
       which either he or his friends may profit, in the commission of
       highway robberies or in picking pockets. When he gets a police-
       constable down and kicks him helpless for life, it is because that
       constable once did his duty in bringing him to justice. When he
       rushes into the bar of a public-house and scoops an eye out of one
       of the company there, or bites his ear off, it is because the man
       he maims gave evidence against him. When he and a line of comrades
       extending across the footway--say of that solitary mountain-spur of
       the Abruzzi, the Waterloo Road--advance towards me 'skylarking'
       among themselves, my purse or shirt-pin is in predestined peril
       from his playfulness. Always a Ruffian, always a Thief. Always a
       Thief, always a Ruffian.
       Now, when I, who am not paid to know these things, know them daily
       on the evidence of my senses and experience; when I know that the
       Ruffian never jostles a lady in the streets, or knocks a hat off,
       but in order that the Thief may profit, is it surprising that I
       should require from those who ARE paid to know these things,
       prevention of them?
       Look at this group at a street corner. Number one is a shirking
       fellow of five-and-twenty, in an ill-favoured and ill-savoured
       suit, his trousers of corduroy, his coat of some indiscernible
       groundwork for the deposition of grease, his neckerchief like an
       eel, his complexion like dirty dough, his mangy fur cap pulled low
       upon his beetle brows to hide the prison cut of his hair. His
       hands are in his pockets. He puts them there when they are idle,
       as naturally as in other people's pockets when they are busy, for
       he knows that they are not roughened by work, and that they tell a
       tale. Hence, whenever he takes one out to draw a sleeve across his
       nose--which is often, for he has weak eyes and a constitutional
       cold in his head--he restores it to its pocket immediately
       afterwards. Number two is a burly brute of five-and-thirty, in a
       tall stiff hat; is a composite as to his clothes of betting-man and
       fighting-man; is whiskered; has a staring pin in his breast, along
       with his right hand; has insolent and cruel eyes: large shoulders;
       strong legs booted and tipped for kicking. Number three is forty
       years of age; is short, thick-set, strong, and bow-legged; wears
       knee cords and white stockings, a very long-sleeved waistcoat, a
       very large neckerchief doubled or trebled round his throat, and a
       crumpled white hat crowns his ghastly parchment face. This fellow
       looks like an executed postboy of other days, cut down from the
       gallows too soon, and restored and preserved by express diabolical
       agency. Numbers five, six, and seven, are hulking, idle, slouching
       young men, patched and shabby, too short in the sleeves and too
       tight in the legs, slimily clothed, foul-spoken, repulsive wretches
       inside and out. In all the party there obtains a certain twitching
       character of mouth and furtiveness of eye, that hint how the coward
       is lurking under the bully. The hint is quite correct, for they
       are a slinking sneaking set, far more prone to lie down on their
       backs and kick out, when in difficulty, than to make a stand for
       it. (This may account for the street mud on the backs of Numbers
       five, six, and seven, being much fresher than the stale splashes on
       their legs.)
       These engaging gentry a Police-constable stands contemplating. His
       Station, with a Reserve of assistance, is very near at hand. They
       cannot pretend to any trade, not even to be porters or messengers.
       It would be idle if they did, for he knows them, and they know that
       he knows them, to be nothing but professed Thieves and Ruffians.
       He knows where they resort, knows by what slang names they call one
       another, knows how often they have been in prison, and how long,
       and for what. All this is known at his Station, too, and is (or
       ought to be) known at Scotland Yard, too. But does he know, or
       does his Station know, or does Scotland Yard know, or does anybody
       know, why these fellows should be here at liberty, when, as reputed
       Thieves to whom a whole Division of Police could swear, they might
       all be under lock and key at hard labour? Not he; truly he would
       be a wise man if he did! He only knows that these are members of
       the 'notorious gang,' which, according to the newspaper Police-
       office reports of this last past September, 'have so long infested'
       the awful solitudes of the Waterloo Road, and out of which almost
       impregnable fastnesses the Police have at length dragged Two, to
       the unspeakable admiration of all good civilians.
       The consequences of this contemplative habit on the part of the
       Executive--a habit to be looked for in a hermit, but not in a
       Police System--are familiar to us all. The Ruffian becomes one of
       the established orders of the body politic. Under the playful name
       of Rough (as if he were merely a practical joker) his movements and
       successes are recorded on public occasions. Whether he mustered in
       large numbers, or small; whether he was in good spirits, or
       depressed; whether he turned his generous exertions to very
       prosperous account, or Fortune was against him; whether he was in a
       sanguinary mood, or robbed with amiable horse-play and a gracious
       consideration for life and limb; all this is chronicled as if he
       were an Institution. Is there any city in Europe, out of England,
       in which these terms are held with the pests of Society? Or in
       which, at this day, such violent robberies from the person are
       constantly committed as in London?
       The Preparatory Schools of Ruffianism are similarly borne with.
       The young Ruffians of London--not Thieves yet, but training for
       scholarships and fellowships in the Criminal Court Universities--
       molest quiet people and their property, to an extent that is hardly
       credible. The throwing of stones in the streets has become a
       dangerous and destructive offence, which surely could have got to
       no greater height though we had had no Police but our own riding-
       whips and walking-sticks--the Police to which I myself appeal on
       these occasions. The throwing of stones at the windows of railway
       carriages in motion--an act of wanton wickedness with the very
       Arch-Fiend's hand in it--had become a crying evil, when the railway
       companies forced it on Police notice. Constabular contemplation
       had until then been the order of the day.
       Within these twelve months, there arose among the young gentlemen
       of London aspiring to Ruffianism, and cultivating that much-
       encouraged social art, a facetious cry of 'I'll have this!'
       accompanied with a clutch at some article of a passing lady's
       dress. I have known a lady's veil to be thus humorously torn from
       her face and carried off in the open streets at noon; and I have
       had the honour of myself giving chase, on Westminster Bridge, to
       another young Ruffian, who, in full daylight early on a summer
       evening, had nearly thrown a modest young woman into a swoon of
       indignation and confusion, by his shameful manner of attacking her
       with this cry as she harmlessly passed along before me. MR.
       CARLYLE, some time since, awakened a little pleasantry by writing
       of his own experience of the Ruffian of the streets. I have seen
       the Ruffian act in exact accordance with Mr. Carlyle's description,
       innumerable times, and I never saw him checked.
       The blaring use of the very worst language possible, in our public
       thoroughfares--especially in those set apart for recreation--is
       another disgrace to us, and another result of constabular
       contemplation, the like of which I have never heard in any other
       country to which my uncommercial travels have extended. Years ago,
       when I had a near interest in certain children who were sent with
       their nurses, for air and exercise, into the Regent's Park, I found
       this evil to be so abhorrent and horrible there, that I called
       public attention to it, and also to its contemplative reception by
       the Police. Looking afterwards into the newest Police Act, and
       finding that the offence was punishable under it, I resolved, when
       striking occasion should arise, to try my hand as prosecutor. The
       occasion arose soon enough, and I ran the following gauntlet.
       The utterer of the base coin in question was a girl of seventeen or
       eighteen, who, with a suitable attendance of blackguards, youths,
       and boys, was flaunting along the streets, returning from an Irish
       funeral, in a Progress interspersed with singing and dancing. She
       had turned round to me and expressed herself in the most audible
       manner, to the great delight of that select circle. I attended the
       party, on the opposite side of the way, for a mile further, and
       then encountered a Police-constable. The party had made themselves
       merry at my expense until now, but seeing me speak to the
       constable, its male members instantly took to their heels, leaving
       the girl alone. I asked the constable did he know my name? Yes,
       he did. 'Take that girl into custody, on my charge, for using bad
       language in the streets.' He had never heard of such a charge. I
       had. Would he take my word that he should get into no trouble?
       Yes, sir, he would do that. So he took the girl, and I went home
       for my Police Act.
       With this potent instrument in my pocket, I literally as well as
       figuratively 'returned to the charge,' and presented myself at the
       Police Station of the district. There, I found on duty a very
       intelligent Inspector (they are all intelligent men), who,
       likewise, had never heard of such a charge. I showed him my
       clause, and we went over it together twice or thrice. It was
       plain, and I engaged to wait upon the suburban Magistrate to-morrow
       morning at ten o'clock.
       In the morning I put my Police Act in my pocket again, and waited
       on the suburban Magistrate. I was not quite so courteously
       received by him as I should have been by The Lord Chancellor or The
       Lord Chief Justice, but that was a question of good breeding on the
       suburban Magistrate's part, and I had my clause ready with its leaf
       turned down. Which was enough for ME.
       Conference took place between the Magistrate and clerk respecting
       the charge. During conference I was evidently regarded as a much
       more objectionable person than the prisoner;--one giving trouble by
       coming there voluntarily, which the prisoner could not be accused
       of doing. The prisoner had been got up, since I last had the
       pleasure of seeing her, with a great effect of white apron and
       straw bonnet. She reminded me of an elder sister of Red Riding
       Hood, and I seemed to remind the sympathising Chimney Sweep by whom
       she was attended, of the Wolf.
       The Magistrate was doubtful, Mr. Uncommercial Traveller, whether
       this charge could be entertained. It was not known. Mr.
       Uncommercial Traveller replied that he wished it were better known,
       and that, if he could afford the leisure, he would use his
       endeavours to make it so. There was no question about it, however,
       he contended. Here was the clause.
       The clause was handed in, and more conference resulted. After
       which I was asked the extraordinary question: 'Mr. Uncommercial,
       do you really wish this girl to be sent to prison?' To which I
       grimly answered, staring: 'If I didn't, why should I take the
       trouble to come here?' Finally, I was sworn, and gave my agreeable
       evidence in detail, and White Riding Hood was fined ten shillings,
       under the clause, or sent to prison for so many days. 'Why, Lord
       bless you, sir,' said the Police-officer, who showed me out, with a
       great enjoyment of the jest of her having been got up so
       effectively, and caused so much hesitation: 'if she goes to
       prison, that will be nothing new to HER. She comes from Charles
       Street, Drury Lane!'
       The Police, all things considered, are an excellent force, and I
       have borne my small testimony to their merits. Constabular
       contemplation is the result of a bad system; a system which is
       administered, not invented, by the man in constable's uniform,
       employed at twenty shillings a week. He has his orders, and would
       be marked for discouragement if he overstepped them. That the
       system is bad, there needs no lengthened argument to prove, because
       the fact is self-evident. If it were anything else, the results
       that have attended it could not possibly have come to pass. Who
       will say that under a good system, our streets could have got into
       their present state?
       The objection to the whole Police system, as concerning the
       Ruffian, may be stated, and its failure exemplified, as follows.
       It is well known that on all great occasions, when they come
       together in numbers, the mass of the English people are their own
       trustworthy Police. It is well known that wheresoever there is
       collected together any fair general representation of the people, a
       respect for law and order, and a determination to discountenance
       lawlessness and disorder, may be relied upon. As to one another,
       the people are a very good Police, and yet are quite willing in
       their good-nature that the stipendiary Police should have the
       credit of the people's moderation. But we are all of us powerless
       against the Ruffian, because we submit to the law, and it is his
       only trade, by superior force and by violence, to defy it.
       Moreover, we are constantly admonished from high places (like so
       many Sunday-school children out for a holiday of buns and milk-and-
       water) that we are not to take the law into our own hands, but are
       to hand our defence over to it. It is clear that the common enemy
       to be punished and exterminated first of all is the Ruffian. It is
       clear that he is, of all others, THE offender for whose repressal
       we maintain a costly system of Police. Him, therefore, we
       expressly present to the Police to deal with, conscious that, on
       the whole, we can, and do, deal reasonably well with one another.
       Him the Police deal with so inefficiently and absurdly that he
       flourishes, and multiplies, and, with all his evil deeds upon his
       head as notoriously as his hat is, pervades the streets with no
       more let or hindrance than ourselves. _