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Deliverance: A Romance of the Virginia Tobacco Fields, The
Book IV - The Awakening   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter II. Maria Returns to the Hall
Ellen Glasgow
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       _ Through the grove of oaks a single lighted window glimmered now
       red, now yellow, as lamplight struggled with firelight inside,
       and Maria, walking rapidly through the dark, felt that the
       comfortable warmth shining on the panes was her first welcome
       home. The night had grown chilly, and she gathered her wraps
       closely together as she hastened along the gravelled drive and
       ran up the broad stone steps to the closed door. There was no
       answer to her knock, and, finding that the big silver handle of
       the door turned easily, she entered the hall and passed
       cautiously through the dusk that enveloped the great staircase.
       Her foot was on the first step, when a stream of light issued
       suddenly from the dining-room, and, turning, she stood for an
       instant hesitating upon the threshold. A lamp burned dimly in the
       center of the old mahogany table, where a scant supper for two
       had been hastily laid. In the fireplace a single hickory log sent
       out a shower of fine sparks, which hovered a moment in the air
       before they were sucked up by the big stone chimney. The room was
       just as Maria had left it six years before, and yet in some
       unaccountable fashion it seemed to have lost the dignity which
       she remembered as its one redeeming feature. Nothing was changed
       that she could see--the furniture stood in the same places, the
       same hard engravings hung on the discoloured walls--but as she
       glanced wonderingly about her she was aware of a shock greater
       than the one she had nerved herself to withstand. It was, after
       all, the atmosphere that depressed her, she concluded with her
       next thought--the general air of slovenly unrefinement revealed
       in the details of the room and of the carelessly laid table.
       While she still hesitated uncertainly on the threshold, the
       pantry door opened noiselessly and Miss Saidie appeared, carrying
       a glass dish filled with preserved watermelon rind. At sight of
       Maria she gave a start and a little scream, and the dish fell
       from her hands and crashed upon the floor.
       "Sakes alive! Is that you, Maria?"
       Hastily crossing the room, Maria caught the little woman in her
       arms and kissed her twice.
       "Why, you poor thing! I've frightened you to death," she said,
       with a laugh.
       "You did give me a turn; that's so," replied Miss Saidie, as she
       wiped the moisture from her crimson face. "It's been so long
       since anybody's come here that Malindy--she's the only servant
       we've got now--was actually afraid to answer your knock. Then
       when I came in and saw you standing by the door, I declare it
       almost took my breath clean away. I thought for a moment you were
       a ghost, you looked so dead white in that long, black dress."
       "Oh, I'm flesh and blood, never fear," Maria assured her. "Much
       more flesh and blood, too, than I was when I went away--but I've
       made you spill all your preserves. What a shame!"
       Miss Saidie glanced down a little nervously. "I must wipe it up
       before Brother Bill comes in," she said; "it frets him so to see
       a waste."
       Picking up a dust-cloth she had left on a chair, she got down on
       her knees and began mopping up the sticky syrup which trickled
       along the floor. "He hates so to throw away anything," she
       pursued, panting softly from her exertions, "that if he were to
       see this I believe it would upset him for a week. Oh, he didn't
       use to be like that, I know," she added, meeting Maria's amazed
       look; "and it does seem strange, for I'm sure he gets richer and
       richer every day--but it's the gospel truth that every cent he
       makes he hugs closer than he did the last. I declare, I've seen
       him haggle for an hour over the price of salt, and it turns him
       positively sick to see anything but specked potatoes on the
       table. He kinder thinks his money is all he's got, I reckon, so
       he holds on to it like grim death."
       "But it isn't all he has. Where's Will?"
       Miss Saidie shook her head, with a glance in the direction of the
       door.
       "Don't mention him if you want any peace," she said, rising with
       difficulty to her feet. "Your grandpa has never so much as laid
       eyes on him sence he gave him that little worn-out place side by
       side with Sol Peterkin--and told him he'd shoot him if he ever
       caught sight of him at the Hall. You've come home to awful worry,
       thar's no doubt of it, Maria."
       "Oh, oh, oh," sighed Maria, and, tossing her hat upon the sofa,
       pressed her fingers on her temples. With the firelight thrown
       full on the ivory pallor of her face, the effect she produced was
       almost unreal in its intensity of black and white--an absence of
       colour which had in it all the warmth and the animation we are
       used to associate with brilliant hues. A peculiar mellowness of
       temperament, the expression of a passionate nature confirmed in
       sympathy, shone in the softened fervour of her look as she bent
       her eyes thoughtfully upon the flames.
       "Something must be done for Will," she said, turning presently.
       "This can't go on another day."
       Miss Saidie caught her breath sharply, and hastened to the head
       of the table, as Fletcher's heavy footsteps crossed the hall.
       "For heaven's sake, be careful," she whispered warningly, jerking
       her head nervously from side to side.
       Fletcher entered with a black look, slamming the door heavily
       behind him, then, suddenly catching sight of Maria, he stopped
       short on the threshold and stared at her with hanging jaws.
       "I'll be blessed if it ain't Maria!" he broke out at last.
       Maria went toward him and held out her cheek for his kiss.
       "I've surprised you almost as much as I did Aunt Saidie," she
       said, with her cheerful laugh, which floated a little strangely
       on the sullen atmosphere.
       Catching her by the shoulder, Fletcher drew her into the circle
       of the lamplight, where he stood regarding her in gloomy silence.
       "You've filled out considerable," he remarked, as he released her
       at the end of his long scrutiny. "But thar was room for it,
       heaven knows. You'll never be the sort that a man smacks his lips
       over, I reckon, but you're a plum sight better looking than you
       were when you went away."
       Maria winced quickly as if he had struck her; then, regaining her
       composure almost instantly, she drew back her chair with a casual
       retort.
       "But I didn't come home to set the county afire," she said. "Why,
       Aunt Saidie, what queer, coarse china! What's become of the
       white-and-gold set I used to like?"
       A purple flush mounted, slowly to Miss Saidie's forehead.
       "I was afraid it would chip, so I packed it away," she explained.
       "Me and Brother Bill ain't used to any better than this, so we
       don't notice. Things will have to be mighty fine now, I reckon,
       since you've got back. You were always particular about looks, I
       remember."
       "Was I?" asked Maria curiously, glancing down into the plate
       before her. For the last few years she had schooled herself to
       despise what she called the "silly luxuries of living," and yet
       the heavy white cup which Miss Saidie handed her, and the sound
       of Fletcher drinking his coffee, aroused in her the old poignant
       disgust.
       "I don't think I'm over particular now," she added pleasantly,
       "but we may as well get out the other china tomorrow, I think."
       "You won't find many fancy ways here--eh, Saidie?" inquired
       Fletcher, with a chuckle. "Thar's been a precious waste of
       victuals on this place, but it's got to stop. I ain't so sure you
       did a wise thing in coming back," he finished abruptly, turning
       his bloodshot eyes on his granddaughter.
       "You aren't? Well, I am," laughed Maria; "and I promise you that
       you shan't find me troublesome except in the matter of china."
       "Then you must have changed your skin, I reckon."
       "Changed? Why, I have, of course. Six years isn't a day, you
       know, and I've been in many places." Then, as a hint of interest
       awoke in his eyes, she talked on rapidly, describing her years
       abroad and the strange cities in which she had lived. Before she
       had finished, Fletcher had pushed his plate away and sat
       listening with the ghost of a smile upon his face.
       "Well, you'll do, I reckon," he said at the end, and, pushing
       back his chair, he rose from his place and stamped out into the
       hall.
       When he had gone into his sitting-room and closed the door behind
       him, Miss Saidie nodded smilingly, as she measured out the
       servant's sugar in a cracked saucer. "He's brighter than I've
       seen him for days," she said; "and now, if you want to go
       upstairs, Malindy has jest lighted your fire. She had to carry
       the wood up while we were at supper, so Brother Bill wouldn't see
       it. He hates even to burn a log, though they are strewn round
       loose all over the place."
       Maria, was feeding Agag on the hearth, and she waited until he
       had finished before she took up her hat and wraps and went toward
       the door. "Oh, you needn't bother to light me," she said, waving
       Miss Saidie back when she would have followed. "Why, I could find
       my way over this house at midnight without a candle." Then, with
       a cheerful "Goodnight," she called Agag and went up the dusky
       staircase.
       A wood fire was burning in her room, and she stood for a moment
       looking pensively into the flames, a faint smile sketched about
       her mouth. Then throwing off her black dress in the desire for
       freedom, she clasped her hands above her head and paced slowly up
       and down the shadowy length of the room. In the flowing measure
       of her walk; in the free, almost defiant, movement of her
       upraised arms; and in the ample lines of her throat and bosom,
       which melted gradually into the low curves of her hips, she might
       have stood for an incarnation of vital force. One felt
       instinctively that her personality would be active rather than
       passive--that the events which she attracted to herself would be
       profoundly emotional in their fulfilment.
       Notwithstanding the depressing hour she had just passed, and the
       old vulgarity which had shocked her with a new violence, she was
       conscious, moving to and fro in the shadows, of a strange
       happiness--of a warmth of feeling which pervaded her from head to
       foot, which fluttered in her temples and burned like firelight in
       her open palms. The place was home to her, she realised at last,
       and the surroundings of her married life--the foreign towns and
       the enchanting Italian scenery--showed in her memory with a
       distant and alien beauty. Here was what she loved, for here was
       her right, her heritage--the desolate red roads, the luxuriant
       tobacco fields, the primitive and ignorant people. In her heart
       there was no regret for any past that she had known, for over the
       wild country stretching about her now there hung a romantic and
       mysterious haze.
       A little later she was aroused from her reverie by Miss Saidie,
       who came in with a lighted lamp in her hand.
       "Don't you need a light, Maria? I never could abide to sit in the
       dark."
       "Oh, yes; bring it in. There, put it on the bureau and sit down
       by the fire, for I want to talk to you. No, I'm not a bit tired;
       I am only trying to fit myself again in this room. Why, I don't
       believe you've changed a pin in the pincushion since I went
       away."
       Miss Saidie dusted the top of the bureau with her apron before
       she placed the tall glass lamp upon it.
       "Thar warn't anybody to stay in it," she answered, as she sat
       down in a deep, cretonne-covered chair and pushed back the
       hickory log with her foot. "I declare, Maria, I don't see what
       you want to traipse around with that little poor-folksy yaller
       dog for. He puts me in mind of the one that old blind nigger up
       the road used to have."
       "Does he?" asked Maria absently, in the voice of one whose
       thoughts are hopelessly astray.
       She was standing by the window, holding aside the curtain of
       flowered chintz, and after a moment she added curiously: "There's
       a light in the fields, Aunt Saidie. What does it mean?"
       Crossing the room, Miss Saidie followed the gesture with which
       Maria pointed into the night.
       "That's on the Blake place," she said; "it must be Mr.
       Christopher moving about with his lantern."
       "You call him Mr. Christopher?"
       "Oh, it slipped out. His father's name was Christopher before
       him, and I used to open the gate for him when I was a child. Many
       and many a time the old gentleman's given me candy out of his
       pocket, or a quarter to buy a present, and one Christmas he
       brought me a real wax doll from the city. He wasn't old then, I
       can tell you, and he was as handsome as if he had stepped out of
       a fashion plate. Why, young Mr. Christopher can't hold a candle
       to him for looks."
       "He was a gentleman, then? I mean the old man."
       "Who? Mr. Christopher's father? I don't reckon thar was a freer
       or a finer between here and London."
       Maria's gaze was still on the point of light which twinkled
       faintly here and there in the distant field.
       "Then how, in heaven's name, did he come to this?" she asked, in
       a voice that was hardly louder than a whisper.
       "I never knew; I never knew," protested Miss Saidie, going back
       to her chair beside the hearth. "Brother Bill and he hate each
       other worse than death, and it was Will's fancy for Mr.
       Christopher that brought on this awful trouble. For a time, I
       declare it looked as if the boy was really bewitched, and they
       were together morning, noon, and night. Your grandpa never got
       over it, and I believe he blames Mr. Christopher for every last
       thing that's happened--Molly Peterkin and all."
       "Molly Peterkin?" repeated Maria inquiringly. "Why, how absurd!
       And, after all, what is the matter with the girl?" Dropping the
       curtain, she came over to the fire, and sat listening attentively
       while Miss Saidie told, in spasmodic jerks and pauses, the
       foolish story of Will's marriage.
       "Your grandpa will never forgive him--never, never. He has turned
       him out for good and all, and he talks now of leaving every cent
       of his money to foreign missions."
       "Well, we'll see," said Maria soothingly. "I'll go over there to-
       morrow and talk with Will, and then I'll try to bring grandfather
       to some kind of reason. He can't let them starve, rich as he is,
       there's no sense in that--and if the worst comes, I can at least
       share the little I have with them. It may supply them with bread,
       if Molly will undertake to churn her own butter."
       "Then your money went, too?"
       "The greater part of it. Jack was fond of wild schemes, you know.
       I left it in his hands." She had pronounced the dead man's name
       so composedly that Miss Saidie, after an instant's hesitation,
       brought herself to an allusion to the girl's loss.
       "How you must miss him, dear," she ventured timidly; "even if he
       wasn't everything he should have been to you, he was still your
       husband."
       "Yes, he was my husband," assented Maria quietly.
       "You were so brave and so patient, and you stuck by him to the
       last, as a wife ought to do. Then thar's not even a child left to
       you now."
       Maria turned slowly toward her and then looked away again into
       the fire. The charred end of a lightwood knot had fallen on the
       stones, and, picking it up, she threw it back into the flames.
       "For a year before his death his mind was quite gone," she said
       in a voice that quivered slightly; "he had to be taken to an
       asylum, but I went with him and nursed him till he died. There
       were times when he would allow no one else to enter his room or
       even bring him his meals. I have sat by him for two days and
       nights without sleeping, and though he did not recognise me, he
       would not let me stir from my place."
       "And yet he treated you very badly--even his family said so."
       "That is all over now, and we were both to blame. I owed him
       reparation, and I made it, thank God, at the last."
       As she raised her bare arms to the cushioned back of her chair
       Miss Saidie caught a glimpse of a deep white scar which ran in a
       jagged line above her elbow.
       "Oh, it is nothing, nothing," said Maria hastily, clasping her
       hands again upon her knees. "That part of my life is over and
       done with and may rest in peace. I forgave him then, and he
       forgives me now. One always forgives when one understands, you
       know, and we both understand to-day--he no less than I. The chief
       thing was that we made a huge, irretrievable mistake--the mistake
       that two people make when they think that love can be coddled and
       nursed like a domestic pet--when they forget that it goes wild
       and free and comes at no man's call. Folly like that is its own
       punishment, I suppose."
       "My dear, my dear," gasped Miss Saidie, in awe-stricken sympathy
       before the wild remorse in Maria's voice.
       "I did my duty, as you call it; I even clung to it desperately,
       and, much as I hated it, I never rebelled for a single instant.
       The nearest I came to loving him, I think, was when, after our
       terrible life together, he lay helpless for a year and I was with
       him day and night. If I could have given him my strength then,
       brain and body, I would have done it gladly, and that agonised
       compassion was the strongest feeling I ever had for him." She
       broke off for a long breath, and sat looking earnestly at the
       amazed little woman across from her. "You could never
       understand!" she exclaimed impetuously, "but I must tell you--I
       must tell you because I can't live with you day after day and
       know that there is an old dead lie between us. I hate lies, I
       have had so many of them, and I shall speak the truth hereafter,
       no matter what comes of it. Anything is better than a long,
       wearing falsehood, or than those hideous little shams that we
       were always afraid to touch for fear they would melt and show us
       our own nakedness. That is what I loathe about my life, and that
       is what I've done with now forever. I am myself now for the first
       time since I was born, and at last I shall let my own nature
       teach me how to live."
       Her intense pallor was illumined suddenly by a white flame,
       whether from the leaping of some inner emotion or from the
       sinking firelight which blazed up fitfully Miss Saidie could not
       tell. As she turned her head with an impatient movement her black
       hair slipped its heavy coil and spread in a shadowy mass upon her
       bared shoulders.
       "I'm sure I don't know how it is," said Miss Saidie, wiping her
       eyes. "But I can't see that it makes any difference whether you
       were what they call in love or not, so long as you were a good,
       well-behaved wife. I don't think a man troubles himself much
       about a woman's heart after he's put his wedding ring on her
       finger; and though I know, of course, that thar's a lot of
       nonsense spoken in courtship, it seems to me they mostly take it
       out in talking. The wives that I've seen are generally as anxious
       about thar setting hens as they are about thar husband's hearts,
       and I reckon things are mighty near the same the world over."
       Without noticing her, Maria went on feverishly, speaking so low
       at times that the other almost lost the words.
       "It is such a relief to let it all out," she said, with a long,
       sighing breath, "and oh! if I had loved him it would have been so
       different--so different. Then I might have saved him; for what
       evil is strong enough to contend against a love which would have
       borne all things, have covered all things?"
       Rising from her chair, she walked rapidly up and down, and
       pausing at last beside the window, lifted the curtain and looked
       out into the night.
       "I might have saved him; I know it now," she repeated slowly: "or
       had it been otherwise, even in madness I would not have loosened
       my arms, and my service would have been the one passionate
       delight left in my life. They could never have torn him from my
       bosom then, and yet as it was--as it was--" She turned quickly,
       and, coming back, laid her hand on Miss Saidie's arm. "It is such
       a comfort to talk, dear Aunt Saidie," she added, "even though you
       don't understand half that I say. But you are good--so good; and
       now if you'll lend me a nightgown I'll go to bed and sleep until
       my trunks come in the morning." Her voice had regained its old
       composure, and Miss Saidie, looking back as she went for the
       gown, saw that she had begun quietly to braid her hair. _
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LIST OF CHARACTERS
Book I- The Inheritance
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter I. The Man in the Field
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter II. The Owner of Blake Hall
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter III. Showing That a Little Culture Entails Great Care
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter IV. Of Human Nature in the Raw State
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter V. The Wreck of the Blakes
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter VI. Carraway Plays Courtier
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter VII. In Which a Stand Is Made
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter VIII. Treats of a Passion That Is Not Love
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter IX. Cynthia
   Book I- The Inheritance - Chapter X. Sentimental and Otherwise
Book II - The Temptation
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter I. The Romance That Might Have Been
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter II. The Romance That Was
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter III. Fletcher's Move and Christopher's Counterstroke
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter IV. A Gallant Deed That Leads to Evil
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter V. The Glimpse of a Bride
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter VI. Shows Fletcher in a New Light
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter VII. In Which Hero and Villain Appear as One
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter VIII. Between the Devil and the Deep Sea
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter IX. As the Twig Is Bent
   Book II - The Temptation - Chapter X. Powers of Darkness
Book III - The Revenge
   Book III - The Revenge - Chapter I. In Which Tobacco Is Hero
   Book III - The Revenge - Chapter II. Between Christopher and Will
   Book III - The Revenge - Chapter III. Mrs. Blake Speaks Her Mind on Several Matters
   Book III - The Revenge - Chapter IV. In Which Christopher Hesitates
   Book III - The Revenge - Chapter V. The Happiness of Tucker
   Book III - The Revenge - Chapter VI. The Wages of Folly
   Book III - The Revenge - Chapter VII. The Toss of a Coin
   Book III - The Revenge - Chapter VIII. In Which Christopher Triumphs
Book IV - The Awakening
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter I. The Unforeseen
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter II. Maria Returns to the Hall
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter III. The Day Afterward
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter IV. The Meeting in the Night
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter V. Maria Stands on Christopher's Ground
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter VI. The Growing Light
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter VII. In which Carraway Speaks the Truth to Maria
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter VIII. Between Maria and Christopher
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter IX. Christopher Faces Himself
   Book IV - The Awakening - Chapter X. By the Poplar Spring
Book V - The Ancient Law
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter I. Christopher Seeks an Escape
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter II. The Measure of Maria
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter III. Will's Ruin
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter IV. In Which Mrs. Blake's Eyes are Opened
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter V. Christopher Plants by Moonlight
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter VI. Treats of the Tragedy Which Wears a Comic Mask
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter VII. Will Faces Desperation and Stands at Bay
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter VIII. How Christopher Comes into His Revenge
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter IX. The Fulfilling of the Law
   Book V - The Ancient Law - Chapter X. The Wheel of Life