_ Chapter VII - Containing various matters.
We have already mentioned the good-humour in which Booth returned
home; and the reader will easily believe it was not a little encreased
by the good-humour in which he found his company. My lord received him
with the utmost marks of friendship and affection, and told him that
his affairs went on as well almost as he himself could desire, and
that he doubted not very soon to wish him joy of a company.
When Booth had made a proper return to all his lordship's unparalleled
goodness, he whispered Amelia that the colonel was entirely out of
danger, and almost as well as himself. This made her satisfaction
complete, threw her into such spirits, and gave such a lustre to her
eyes, that her face, as Horace says, was too dazzling to be looked at;
it was certainly too handsome to be looked at without the highest
admiration.
His lordship departed about ten o'clock, and left the company in
raptures with him, especially the two ladies, of whom it is difficult
to say which exceeded the other in his commendations. Mrs. Ellison
swore she believed he was the best of all humankind; and Amelia,
without making any exception, declared he was the finest gentleman and
most agreeable man she had ever seen in her life; adding, it was great
pity he should remain single. "That's true, indeed," cries Mrs.
Ellison, "and I have often lamented it; nay, I am astonished at it,
considering the great liking he always shews for our sex, and he may
certainly have the choice of all. The real reason, I believe, is, his
fondness for his sister's children. I declare, madam, if you was to
see his behaviour to them, you would think they were his own. Indeed
he is vastly fond of all manner of children." "Good creature!" cries
Amelia; "if ever he doth me the honour of another visit I am resolved
I will shew him my little things. I think, Mrs. Ellison, as you say my
lord loves children, I may say, without vanity, he will not see many
such." "No, indeed, will he not," answered Mrs. Ellison: "and now I
think on't, madam, I wonder at my own stupidity in never making the
offer before; but since you put it into my head, if you will give me
leave, I'll take master and miss to wait on my lord's nephew and
niece. They are very pretty behaved children; and little master and
miss will be, I dare swear, very happy in their acquaintance; besides,
if my lord himself should see them, I know what will happen; for he is
the most generous of all human beings."
Amelia very readily accepted the favour which Mrs. Ellison offered
her; but Booth exprest some reluctance. "Upon my word, my dear," said
he, with a smile, "this behaviour of ours puts me in mind of the
common conduct of beggars; who, whenever they receive a favour, are
sure to send other objects to the same fountain of charity. Don't we,
my dear, repay our obligations to my lord in the same manner, by
sending our children a begging to him?"
"O beastly!" cries Mrs. Ellison; "how could such a thought enter your
brains? I protest, madam, I begin to grow ashamed of this husband of
yours. How can you have so vulgar a way of thinking? Begging, indeed!
the poor little dear things a begging! If my lord was capable of such
a thought, though he was my own brother instead of my cousin, I should
scorn him too much ever to enter his doors." "O dear madam!" answered
Amelia, "you take Mr. Booth too seriously, when he was only in jest;
and the children shall wait upon you whenever you please."
Though Booth had been a little more in earnest than Amelia had
represented him, and was not, perhaps, quite so much in the wrong as
he was considered by Mrs. Ellison, yet, seeing there were two to one
against him, he wisely thought proper to recede, and let his simile go
off with that air of a jest which his wife had given it.
Mrs. Ellison, however, could not let it pass without paying some
compliments to Amelia's understanding, nor without some obscure
reflexions upon Booth, with whom she was more offended than the matter
required. She was indeed a woman of most profuse generosity, and could
not bear a thought which she deemed vulgar or sneaking. She afterwards
launched forth the most profuse encomiums of his lordship's
liberality, and concluded the evening with some instances which he had
given of that virtue which, if not the noblest, is, perhaps, one of
the most useful to society with which great and rich men can be
endowed.
The next morning early, serjeant Atkinson came to wait on lieutenant
Booth, and desired to speak with his honour in private. Upon which the
lieutenant and serjeant took a walk together in the Park. Booth
expected every minute when the serjeant would open his mouth; under
which expectation he continued till he came to the end of the mall,
and so he might have continued till he came to the end of the world;
for, though several words stood at the end of the serjeant's lips,
there they were likely to remain for ever. He was, indeed, in the
condition of a miser, whom a charitable impulse hath impelled to draw
a few pence to the edge of his pocket, where they are altogether as
secure as if they were in the bottom; for, as the one hath not the
heart to part with a farthing, so neither had the other the heart to
speak a word.
Booth at length, wondering that the serjeant did not speak, asked him,
What his business was? when the latter with a stammering voice began
the following apology: "I hope, sir, your honour will not be angry,
nor take anything amiss of me. I do assure you, it was not of my
seeking, nay, I dare not proceed in the matter without first asking
your leave. Indeed, if I had taken any liberties from the goodness you
have been pleased to shew me, I should look upon myself as one of the
most worthless and despicable of wretches; but nothing is farther from
my thoughts. I know the distance which is between us; and, because
your honour hath been so kind and good as to treat me with more
familiarity than any other officer ever did, if I had been base enough
to take any freedoms, or to encroach upon your honour's goodness, I
should deserve to be whipt through the regiment. I hope, therefore,
sir, you will not suspect me of any such attempt."
"What can all this mean, Atkinson?" cries Booth; "what mighty matter
would you introduce with all this previous apology?"
"I am almost ashamed and afraid to mention it," answered the serjeant;
"and yet I am sure your honour will believe what I have said, and not
think anything owing to my own presumption; and, at the same time, I
have no reason to think you would do anything to spoil my fortune in
an honest way, when it is dropt into my lap without my own seeking.
For may I perish if it is not all the lady's own goodness, and I hope
in Heaven, with your honour's leave, I shall live to make her amends
for it." In a word, that we may not detain the reader's curiosity
quite so long as he did Booth's, he acquainted that gentleman that he
had had an offer of marriage from a lady of his acquaintance, to whose
company he had introduced him, and desired his permission to accept of
it.
Booth must have been very dull indeed if, after what the serjeant had
said, and after what he had heard Mrs. Ellison say, he had wanted any
information concerning the lady. He answered him briskly and
chearfully, that he had his free consent to marry any woman whatever;
"and the greater and richer she is," added he, "the more I shall be
pleased with the match. I don't enquire who the lady is," said he,
smiling, "but I hope she will make as good a wife as, I am convinced,
her husband will deserve."
"Your honour hath been always too good to me," cries Atkinson; "but
this I promise you, I will do all in my power to merit the kindness
she is pleased to shew me. I will be bold to say she will marry an
honest man, though he is but a poor one; and she shall never want
anything which I can give her or do for her, while my name is Joseph
Atkinson."
"And so her name is a secret, Joe, is it?" cries Booth.
"Why, sir," answered the serjeant, "I hope your honour will not insist
upon knowing that, as I think it would be dishonourable in me to
mention it."
"Not at all," replied Booth; "I am the farthest in the world from any
such desire. I know thee better than to imagine thou wouldst disclose
the name of a fair lady." Booth then shook Atkinson heartily by the
hand, and assured him earnestly of the joy he had in his good fortune;
for which the good serjeant failed not of making all proper
acknowledgments. After which they parted, and Booth returned home.
As Mrs. Ellison opened the door, Booth hastily rushed by; for he had
the utmost difficulty to prevent laughing in her face. He ran directly
up-stairs, and, throwing himself into a chair, discharged such a fit
of laughter as greatly surprized, and at first almost frightened, his
wife.
Amelia, it will be supposed, presently enquired into the cause of this
phenomenon, with which Booth, as soon as he was able (for that was not
within a few minutes), acquainted her. The news did not affect her in
the same manner it had affected her husband. On the contrary, she
cried, "I protest I cannot guess what makes you see it in so
ridiculous a light. I really think Mrs. Ellison hath chosen very well.
I am convinced Joe will make her one of the best of husbands; and, in
my opinion, that is the greatest blessing a woman can be possessed
of."
However, when Mrs. Ellison came into her room a little while
afterwards to fetch the children, Amelia became of a more risible
disposition, especially when the former, turning to Booth, who was
then present, said, "So, captain, my jantee-serjeant was very early
here this morning. I scolded my maid heartily for letting him wait so
long in the entry like a lacquais, when she might have shewn him into
my inner apartment." At which words Booth burst out into a very loud
laugh; and Amelia herself could no more prevent laughing than she
could blushing.
"Heyday!" cries Mrs. Ellison; "what have I said to cause all this
mirth?" and at the same time blushed, and looked very silly, as is
always the case with persons who suspect themselves to be the objects
of laughter, without absolutely taking what it is which makes them
ridiculous.
Booth still continued laughing; but Amelia, composing her muscles,
said, "I ask your pardon, dear Mrs. Ellison; but Mr. Booth hath been
in a strange giggling humour all this morning; and I really think it
is infectious."
"I ask your pardon, too, madam," cries Booth, "but one is sometimes
unaccountably foolish."
"Nay, but seriously," said she, "what is the matter?--something I said
about the serjeant, I believe; but you may laugh as much as you
please; I am not ashamed of owning I think him one of the prettiest
fellows I ever saw in my life; and, I own, I scolded my maid at
suffering him to wait in my entry; and where is the mighty ridiculous
matter, pray?"
"None at all," answered Booth; "and I hope the next time he will be
ushered into your inner apartment."
"Why should he not, sir?" replied she, "for, wherever he is ushered, I
am convinced he will behave himself as a gentleman should."
Here Amelia put an end to the discourse, or it might have proceeded to
very great lengths; for Booth was of a waggish inclination, and Mrs.
Ellison was not a lady of the nicest delicacy. _