_ Chapter IV - A sea piece.
"The next day we joined the regiment, which was soon after to embark.
Nothing but mirth and jollity were in the countenance of every officer
and soldier; and as I now met several friends whom I had not seen for
above a year before, I passed several happy hours, in which poor
Amelia's image seldom obtruded itself to interrupt my pleasure. To
confess the truth, dear Miss Matthews, the tenderest of passions is
capable of subsiding; nor is absence from our dearest friends so
unsupportable as it may at first appear. Distance of time and place do
really cure what they seem to aggravate; and taking leave of our
friends resembles taking leave of the world; concerning which it hath
been often said that it is not death, but dying, which is terrible."--
Here Miss Matthews burst into a fit of laughter, and cried, "I
sincerely ask your pardon; but I cannot help laughing at the gravity
of your philosophy." Booth answered, That the doctrine of the passions
had been always his favourite study; that he was convinced every man
acted entirely from that passion which was uppermost. "Can I then
think," said he, "without entertaining the utmost contempt for myself,
that any pleasure upon earth could drive the thoughts of Amelia one
instant from my mind?
"At length we embarked aboard a transport, and sailed for Gibraltar;
but the wind, which was at first fair, soon chopped about; so that we
were obliged, for several days, to beat to windward, as the sea phrase
is. During this time the taste which I had of a seafaring life did not
appear extremely agreeable. We rolled up and down in a little narrow
cabbin, in which were three officers, all of us extremely sea-sick;
our sickness being much aggravated by the motion of the ship, by the
view of each other, and by the stench of the men. But this was but a
little taste indeed of the misery which was to follow; for we were got
about six leagues to the westward of Scilly, when a violent storm
arose at north-east, which soon raised the waves to the height of
mountains. The horror of this is not to be adequately described to
those who have never seen the like. The storm began in the evening,
and, as the clouds brought on the night apace, it was soon entirely
dark; nor had we, during many hours, any other light than what was
caused by the jarring elements, which frequently sent forth flashes,
or rather streams of fire; and whilst these presented the most
dreadful objects to our eyes, the roaring of the winds, the dashing of
the waves against the ship and each other, formed a sound altogether
as horrible for our ears; while our ship, sometimes lifted up, as it
were, to the skies, and sometimes swept away at once as into the
lowest abyss, seemed to be the sport of the winds and seas. The
captain himself almost gave up all for lost, and exprest his
apprehension of being inevitably cast on the rocks of Scilly, and beat
to pieces. And now, while some on board were addressing themselves to
the Supreme Being, and others applying for comfort to strong liquors,
my whole thoughts were entirely engaged by my Amelia. A thousand
tender ideas crouded into my mind. I can truly say that I had not a
single consideration about myself in which she was not concerned.
Dying to me was leaving her; and the fear of never seeing her more was
a dagger stuck in my heart. Again, all the terrors with which this
storm, if it reached her ears, must fill her gentle mind on my
account, and the agonies which she must undergo when she heard of my
fate, gave me such intolerable pangs, that I now repented my
resolution, and wished, I own I wished, that I had taken her advice,
and preferred love and a cottage to all the dazzling charms of honour.
"While I was tormenting myself with those meditations, and had
concluded myself as certainly lost, the master came into the cabbin,
and with a chearful voice assured us that we had escaped the danger,
and that we had certainly past to westward of the rock. This was
comfortable news to all present; and my captain, who had been some
time on his knees, leapt suddenly up, and testified his joy with a
great oath.
"A person unused to the sea would have been astonished at the
satisfaction which now discovered itself in the master or in any on
board; for the storm still raged with great violence, and the
daylight, which now appeared, presented us with sights of horror
sufficient to terrify minds which were not absolute slaves to the
passion of fear; but so great is the force of habit, that what
inspires a landsman with the highest apprehension of danger gives not
the least concern to a sailor, to whom rocks and quicksands are almost
the only objects of terror.
"The master, however, was a little mistaken in the present instance;
for he had not left the cabbin above an hour before my man came
running to me, and acquainted me that the ship was half full of water;
that the sailors were going to hoist out the boat and save themselves,
and begged me to come that moment along with him, as I tendered my
preservation. With this account, which was conveyed to me in a
whisper, I acquainted both the captain and ensign; and we all together
immediately mounted the deck, where we found the master making use of
all his oratory to persuade the sailors that the ship was in no
danger; and at the same time employing all his authority to set the
pumps a-going, which he assured them would keep the water under, and
save his dear Lovely Peggy (for that was the name of the ship), which
he swore he loved as dearly as his own soul.
"Indeed this sufficiently appeared; for the leak was so great, and the
water flowed in so plentifully, that his Lovely Peggy was half filled
before he could be brought to think of quitting her; but now the boat
was brought alongside the ship, and the master himself,
notwithstanding all his love for her, quitted his ship, and leapt into
the boat. Every man present attempted to follow his example, when I
heard the voice of my servant roaring forth my name in a kind of
agony. I made directly to the ship-side, but was too late; for the
boat, being already overladen, put directly off. And now, madam, I am
going to relate to you an instance of heroic affection in a poor
fellow towards his master, to which love itself, even among persons of
superior education, can produce but few similar instances. My poor
man, being unable to get me with him into the boat, leapt suddenly
into the sea, and swam back to the ship; and, when I gently rebuked
him for his rashness, he answered, he chose rather to die with me than
to live to carry the account of my death to my Amelia: at the same
time bursting into a flood of tears, he cried, 'Good Heavens! what
will that poor lady feel when she hears of this!' This tender concern
for my dear love endeared the poor fellow more to me than the gallant
instance which he had just before given of his affection towards
myself.
"And now, madam, my eyes were shocked with a sight, the horror of
which can scarce be imagined; for the boat had scarce got four hundred
yards from the ship when it was swallowed up by the merciless waves,
which now ran so high, that out of the number of persons which were in
the boat none recovered the ship, though many of them we saw miserably
perish before our eyes, some of them very near us, without any
possibility of giving them the least assistance.
"But, whatever we felt for them, we felt, I believe, more for
ourselves, expecting every minute when we should share the same fate.
Amongst the rest, one of our officers appeared quite stupified with
fear. I never, indeed, saw a more miserable example of the great power
of that passion: I must not, however, omit doing him justice, by
saying that I afterwards saw the same man behave well in an
engagement, in which he was wounded; though there likewise he was said
to have betrayed the same passion of fear in his countenance.
"The other of our officers was no less stupified (if I may so express
myself) with fool-hardiness, and seemed almost insensible of his
danger. To say the truth, I have, from this and some other instances
which I have seen, been almost inclined to think that the courage as
well as cowardice of fools proceeds from not knowing what is or what
is not the proper object of fear; indeed, we may account for the
extreme hardiness of some men in the same manner as for the terrors of
children at a bugbear. The child knows not but that the bugbear is the
proper object of fear, the blockhead knows not that a cannon-ball is
so.
"As to the remaining part of the ship's crew and the soldiery, most of
them were dead drunk, and the rest were endeavouring, as fast as they
could, to prepare for death in the same manner.
"In this dreadful situation we were taught that no human condition
should inspire men with absolute despair; for, as the storm had ceased
for some time, the swelling of the sea began considerably to abate;
and we now perceived the man of war which convoyed us, at no great
distance astern. Those aboard her easily perceived our distress, and
made towards us. When they came pretty near they hoisted out two boats
to our assistance. These no sooner approached the ship than they were
instantaneously filled, and I myself got a place in one of them,
chiefly by the aid of my honest servant, of whose fidelity to me on
all occasions I cannot speak or think too highly. Indeed, I got into
the boat so much the more easily, as a great number on board the ship
were rendered, by drink, incapable of taking any care for themselves.
There was time, however, for the boat to pass and repass; so that,
when we came to call over names, three only, of all that remained in
the ship after the loss of her own boat, were missing.
"The captain, ensign, and myself, were received with many
congratulations by our officers on board the man of war.--The sea-
officers too, all except the captain, paid us their compliments,
though these were of the rougher kind, and not without several jokes
on our escape. As for the captain himself, we scarce saw him during
many hours; and, when he appeared, he presented a view of majesty
beyond any that I had ever seen. The dignity which he preserved did
indeed give me rather the idea of a Mogul, or a Turkish emperor, than
of any of the monarchs of Christendom. To say the truth, I could
resemble his walk on the deck to nothing but the image of Captain
Gulliver strutting among the Lilliputians; he seemed to think himself
a being of an order superior to all around him, and more especially to
us of the land service. Nay, such was the behaviour of all the sea-
officers and sailors to us and our soldiers, that, instead of
appearing to be subjects of the same prince, engaged in one quarrel,
and joined to support one cause, we land-men rather seemed to be
captives on board an enemy's vessel. This is a grievous misfortune,
and often proves so fatal to the service, that it is great pity some
means could not be found of curing it."
Here Mr. Booth stopt a while to take breath. We will therefore give
the same refreshment to the reader. _