_ Chapter VIII - The story of Booth continued.
"Mr. Booth thus went on:
"We now took leave of the garrison, and, having landed at Marseilles,
arrived at Montpelier, without anything happening to us worth
remembrance, except the extreme sea-sickness of poor Amelia; but I was
afterwards well repaid for the terrors which it occasioned me by the
good consequences which attended it; for I believe it contributed,
even more than the air of Montpelier, to the perfect re-establishment
of her health."
"I ask your pardon for interrupting you," cries Miss Matthews, "but
you never satisfied me whether you took the sergeant's money. You have
made me half in love with that charming fellow."
"How can you imagine, madam," answered Booth, "I should have taken
from a poor fellow what was of so little consequence to me, and at the
same time of so much to him? Perhaps, now, you will derive this from
the passion of pride."
"Indeed," says she, "I neither derive it from the passion of pride nor
from the passion of folly: but methinks you should have accepted the
offer, and I am convinced you hurt him very much when you refused it.
But pray proceed in your story." Then Booth went on as follows:
"As Amelia recovered her health and spirits daily, we began to pass
our time very pleasantly at Montpelier; for the greatest enemy to the
French will acknowledge that they are the best people in the world to
live amongst for a little while. In some countries it is almost as
easy to get a good estate as a good acquaintance. In England,
particularly, acquaintance is of almost as slow growth as an oak; so
that the age of man scarce suffices to bring it to any perfection, and
families seldom contract any great intimacy till the third, or at
least the second generation. So shy indeed are we English of letting a
stranger into our houses, that one would imagine we regarded all such
as thieves. Now the French are the very reverse. Being a stranger
among them entitles you to the better place, and to the greater degree
of civility; and if you wear but the appearance of a gentleman, they
never suspect you are not one. Their friendship indeed seldom extends
as far as their purse; nor is such friendship usual in other
countries. To say the truth, politeness carries friendship far enough
in the ordinary occasions of life, and those who want this
accomplishment rarely make amends for it by their sincerity; for
bluntness, or rather rudeness, as it commonly deserves to be called,
is not always so much a mark of honesty as it is taken to be.
"The day after our arrival we became acquainted with Mons. Bagillard.
He was a Frenchman of great wit and vivacity, with a greater share of
learning than gentlemen are usually possessed of. As he lodged in the
same house with us, we were immediately acquainted, and I liked his
conversation so well that I never thought I had too much of his
company. Indeed, I spent so much of my time with him, that Amelia (I
know not whether I ought to mention it) grew uneasy at our
familiarity, and complained of my being too little with her, from my
violent fondness for my new acquaintance; for, our conversation
turning chiefly upon books, and principally Latin ones (for we read
several of the classics together), she could have but little
entertainment by being with us. When my wife had once taken it into
her head that she was deprived of my company by M. Bagillard, it was
impossible to change her opinion; and, though I now spent more of my
time with her than I had ever done before, she still grew more and
more dissatisfied, till at last she very earnestly desired me to quit
my lodgings, and insisted upon it with more vehemence than I had ever
known her express before. To say the truth, if that excellent woman
could ever be thought unreasonable, I thought she was so on this
occasion.
"But in what light soever her desires appeared to me, as they
manifestly arose from an affection of which I had daily the most
endearing proofs, I resolved to comply with her, and accordingly
removed to a distant part of the town; for it is my opinion that we
can have but little love for the person whom we will never indulge in
an unreasonable demand. Indeed, I was under a difficulty with regard
to Mons. Bagillard; for, as I could not possibly communicate to him
the true reason for quitting my lodgings, so I found it as difficult
to deceive him by a counterfeit one; besides, I was apprehensive I
should have little less of his company than before. I could, indeed,
have avoided this dilemma by leaving Montpelier, for Amelia had
perfectly recovered her health; but I had faithfully promised Captain
James to wait his return from Italy, whither he was gone some time
before from Gibraltar; nor was it proper for Amelia to take any long
journey, she being now near six months gone with child.
"This difficulty, however, proved to be less than I had imagined it;
for my French friend, whether he suspected anything from my wife's
behaviour, though she never, as I observed, shewed him the least
incivility, became suddenly as cold on his side. After our leaving the
lodgings he never made above two or three formal visits; indeed his
time was soon after entirely taken up by an intrigue with a certain
countess, which blazed all over Montpelier.
"We had not been long in our new apartments before an English officer
arrived at Montpelier, and came to lodge in the same house with us.
This gentleman, whose name was Bath, was of the rank of a major, and
had so much singularity in his character, that, perhaps, you never
heard of any like him. He was far from having any of those bookish
qualifications which had before caused my Amelia's disquiet. It is
true, his discourse generally turned on matters of no feminine kind;
war and martial exploits being the ordinary topics of his
conversation: however, as he had a sister with whom Amelia was greatly
pleased, an intimacy presently grew between us, and we four lived in
one family.
"The major was a great dealer in the marvellous, and was constantly
the little hero of his own tale. This made him very entertaining to
Amelia, who, of all the persons in the world, hath the truest taste
and enjoyment of the ridiculous; for, whilst no one sooner discovers
it in the character of another, no one so well conceals her knowledge
of it from the ridiculous person. I cannot help mentioning a sentiment
of hers on this head, as I think it doth her great honour. 'If I had
the same neglect,' said she, 'for ridiculous people with the
generality of the world, I should rather think them the objects of
tears than laughter; but, in reality, I have known several who, in
some parts of their characters, have been extremely ridiculous, in
others have been altogether as amiable. For instance,' said she, 'here
is the major, who tells us of many things which he has never seen, and
of others which he hath never done, and both in the most extravagant
excess; and yet how amiable is his behaviour to his poor sister, whom
he hath not only brought over hither for her health, at his own
expence, but is come to bear her company.' I believe, madam, I repeat
her very words; for I am very apt to remember what she says.
"You will easily believe, from a circumstance I have just mentioned in
the major's favour, especially when I have told you that his sister
was one of the best of girls, that it was entirely necessary to hide
from her all kind of laughter at any part of her brother's behaviour.
To say the truth, this was easy enough to do; for the poor girl was so
blinded with love and gratitude, and so highly honoured and reverenced
her brother, that she had not the least suspicion that there was a
person in the world capable of laughing at him.
"Indeed, I am certain she never made the least discovery of our
ridicule; for I am well convinced she would have resented it: for,
besides the love she bore her brother, she had a little family pride,
which would sometimes appear. To say the truth, if she had any fault,
it was that of vanity, but she was a very good girl upon the whole;
and none of us are entirely free from faults."
"You are a good-natured fellow, Will," answered Miss Matthews; "but
vanity is a fault of the first magnitude in a woman, and often the
occasion of many others."
To this Booth made no answer, but continued his story.
"In this company we passed two or three months very agreeably, till
the major and I both betook ourselves to our several nurseries; my
wife being brought to bed of a girl, and Miss Bath confined to her
chamber by a surfeit, which had like to have occasioned her death."
Here Miss Matthews burst into a loud laugh, of which when Booth asked
the reason, she said she could not forbear at the thoughts of two such
nurses.
"And did you really," says she, "make your wife's caudle yourself?"
"Indeed, madam," said he, "I did; and do you think that so
extraordinary?"
"Indeed I do," answered she; "I thought the best husbands had looked
on their wives' lying-in as a time of festival and jollity. What! did
you not even get drunk in the time of your wife's delivery? tell me
honestly how you employed yourself at this time."
"Why, then, honestly," replied he, "and in defiance of your laughter,
I lay behind her bolster, and supported her in my arms; and, upon my
soul, I believe I felt more pain in my mind than she underwent in her
body. And now answer me as honestly: Do you really think it a proper
time of mirth, when the creature one loves to distraction is
undergoing the most racking torments, as well as in the most imminent
danger? and--but I need not express any more tender circumstances."
"I am to answer honestly," cried she. "Yes, and sincerely," cries
Booth. "Why, then, honestly and sincerely," says she, "may I never see
heaven if I don't think you an angel of a man!"
"Nay, madam," answered Booth--"but, indeed, you do me too much honour;
there are many such husbands. Nay, have we not an example of the like
tenderness in the major? though as to him, I believe, I shall make you
laugh. While my wife lay-in, Miss Bath being extremely ill, I went one
day to the door of her apartment, to enquire after her health, as well
as for the major, whom I had not seen during a whole week. I knocked
softly at the door, and being bid to open it, I found the major in his
sister's ante-chamber warming her posset. His dress was certainly
whimsical enough, having on a woman's bedgown and a very dirty flannel
nightcap, which, being added to a very odd person (for he is a very
awkward thin man, near seven feet high), might have formed, in the
opinion of most men, a very proper object of laughter. The major
started from his seat at my entering into the room, and, with much
emotion, and a great oath, cried out, 'Is it you, sir?' I then
enquired after his and his sister's health. He answered, that his
sister was better, and he was very well, 'though I did not expect,
sir,' cried he, with not a little confusion, 'to be seen by you in
this situation.' I told him I thought it impossible he could appear in
a situation more becoming his character. 'You do not?' answered he.
'By G-- I am very much obliged to you for that opinion; but, I
believe, sir, however my weakness may prevail on me to descend from
it, no man can be more conscious of his own dignity than myself.' His
sister then called to him from the inner room; upon which he rang the
bell for her servant, and then, after a stride or two across the room,
he said, with an elated aspect, 'I would not have you think, Mr.
Booth, because you have caught me in this deshabille, by coming upon
me a little too abruptly--I cannot help saying a little too abruptly--
that I am my sister's nurse. I know better what is due to the dignity
of a man, and I have shewn it in a line of battle. I think I have made
a figure there, Mr. Booth, and becoming my character; by G-- I ought
not to be despised too much if my nature is not totally without its
weaknesses.' He uttered this, and some more of the same kind, with
great majesty, or, as he called it, dignity. Indeed, he used some hard
words that I did not understand; for all his words are not to be found
in a dictionary. Upon the whole, I could not easily refrain from
laughter; however, I conquered myself, and soon after retired from
him, astonished that it was possible for a man to possess true
goodness, and be at the same time ashamed of it.
"But, if I was surprized at what had past at this visit, how much more
was I surprized the next morning, when he came very early to my
chamber, and told me he had not been able to sleep one wink at what
had past between us! 'There were some words of yours,' says he, 'which
must be further explained before we part. You told me, sir, when you
found me in that situation, which I cannot bear to recollect, that you
thought I could not appear in one more becoming my character; these
were the words--I shall never forget them. Do you imagine that there
is any of the dignity of a man wanting in my character? do you think
that I have, during my sister's illness, behaved with a weakness that
savours too much of effeminacy? I know how much it is beneath a man to
whine and whimper about a trifling girl as well as you or any man;
and, if my sister had died, I should have behaved like a man on the
occasion. I would not have you think I confined myself from company
merely upon her account. I was very much disordered myself. And when
you surprized me in that situation--I repeat again, in that situation
--her nurse had not left the room three minutes, and I was blowing the
fire for fear it should have gone out.'--In this manner he ran on
almost a quarter of an hour before he would suffer me to speak. At
last, looking steadfastly in his face, I asked him if I must conclude
that he was in earnest? 'In earnest!' says he, repeating my words, 'do
you then take my character for a jest?'--Lookee, sir, said I, very
gravely, I think we know one another very well; and I have no reason
to suspect you should impute it to fear when I tell you I was so far
from intending to affront you, that I meant you one of the highest
compliments. Tenderness for women is so far from lessening, that it
proves a true manly character. The manly Brutus shewed the utmost
tenderness to his Portia; and the great king of Sweden, the bravest,
and even fiercest of men, shut himself up three whole days in the
midst of a campaign, and would see no company, on the death of a
favourite sister. At these words I saw his features soften; and he
cried out, 'D--n me, I admire the king of Sweden of all the men in the
world; and he is a rascal that is ashamed of doing anything which the
king of Sweden did.--And yet, if any king of Sweden in France was to
tell me that his sister had more merit than mine, by G-- I'd knock his
brains about his ears. Poor little Betsy! she is the honestest,
worthiest girl that ever was born. Heaven be praised, she is
recovered; for, if I had lost her, I never should have enjoyed another
happy moment.' In this manner he ran on some time, till the tears
began to overflow; which when he perceived, he stopt; perhaps he was
unable to go on; for he seemed almost choaked: after a short silence,
however, having wiped his eyes with his handkerchief, he fetched a
deep sigh, and cried, 'I am ashamed you should see this, Mr. Booth;
but d--n me, nature will get the better of dignity.' I now comforted
him with the example of Xerxes, as I had before done with that of the
king of Sweden; and soon after we sat down to breakfast together with
much cordial friendship; for I assure you, with all his oddity, there
is not a better-natured man in the world than the major."
"Good-natured, indeed!" cries Miss Matthews, with great scorn. "A
fool! how can you mention such a fellow with commendation?"
Booth spoke as much as he could in defence of his friend; indeed, he
had represented him in as favourable a light as possible, and had
particularly left out those hard words with which, as he hath observed
a little before, the major interlarded his discourse. Booth then
proceeded as in the next chapter. _