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Dawn O’Hara, The Girl Who Laughed
CHAPTER XV - FAREWELL TO KNAPFS'
Edna Ferber
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       _ Consternation has corrugated the brows of the aborigines.
       Consternation twice confounded had added a wrinkle or two
       to my collection. We are homeless. That is, we are
       Knapfless--we, to whom the Knapfs spelled home.
       Herr Knapf, mustache aquiver, and Frau Knapf, cheek
       bones glistening, broke the news to us one evening just
       a week after the exciting day which so changed Bennie's
       life. "Es thut uns sehr, sehr leid," Herr Knapf had
       begun. And before he had finished, protesting German
       groans mingled with voluble German explanations. The
       aborigines were stricken down. They clapped pudgy fists
       to knobby foreheads; they smote their breasts, and made
       wild gestures with their arms. If my protests were less
       frenzied than theirs, it was only because my knowledge of
       German stops at words of six syllables.
       Out of the chaos of ejaculations and interrogation
       the reason for our expulsion at last was made
       clear. The little German hotel had not been
       remunerative. Our host and hostess were too hospitable
       and too polite to state the true reason for this state of
       affairs. Perhaps rents were too high. Perhaps, thought
       I, Frau Knapf had been too liberal with the butter in the
       stewed chicken. Perhaps there had been too many golden
       Pfannkuchen with real eggs and milk stirred into them,
       and with toothsome little islands of ruddy currant jelly
       on top. Perhaps there had been too much honest,
       nourishing food, and not enough boarding-house victuals.
       At any rate, the enterprise would have to be abandoned.
       It was then that the bare, bright little dining room,
       with its queer prints of chin-chucking lieutenants, and
       its queerer faces, and its German cookery became very
       dear to me. I had grown to like Frau Knapf, of the
       shining cheek bones, and Herr Knapf, of the heavy
       geniality. A close bond of friendship had sprung up
       between Frau Nirlanger and me. I would miss her friendly
       visits, and her pretty ways, and her sparkling
       conversation. She and I had held many kimonoed pow-wows,
       and sometimes--not often--she had given me wonderful
       glimpses of that which she had left--of
       Vienna, the opera, the court, the life which had been
       hers. She talked marvelously well, for she had all the
       charm and vivacity of the true Viennese. Even the
       aborigines, bristling pompadours, thick spectacles,
       terrifying manner, and all, became as dear as old
       friends, now that I knew I must lose them.
       The great, high-ceilinged room upstairs had taken on
       the look of home. The Blue-beard closet no longer
       appalled me. The very purpleness of the purple roses in
       the rug had grown beautiful in my eyes because they were
       part of that little domain which spelled peace and
       comfort and kindness. How could I live without the stout
       yellow brocade armchair! Its plethoric curves were balm
       for my tired bones. Its great lap admitted of sitting
       with knees crossed, Turk-fashion. Its cushioned back
       stopped just at the point where the head found needed
       support. Its pudgy arms offered rest for tired elbows;
       its yielding bosom was made for tired backs. Given the
       padded comfort of that stout old chair--a friendly,
       time-tried book between my fingers--a dish of ruddy
       apples twinkling in the fire-light; my mundane soul
       snuggled in content. And then, too, the
       book-in-the-making had grown in that room. It had
       developed from a weak, wobbling uncertainty into a
       lusty full-blooded thing that grew and grew
       until it promised soon to become mansize.
       Now all this was to be changed. And I knew that I
       would miss the easy German atmosphere of the place; the
       kindness they had shown me; the chattering, admiring
       Minna; the taffy-colored dachshund; the aborigines with
       their ill-smelling pipes and flappy slippers; the
       Wienerschnitzel; the crushed-looking wives and the
       masterful German husbands; the very darns in the
       table-cloths and the very nicks in the china.
       We had a last family gathering in token of our
       appreciation of Herr and Frau Knapf. And because I had
       not seen him for almost three weeks; and because the time
       for his going was drawing so sickeningly near; and
       because I was quite sure that I had myself in hand; and
       because he knew the Knapfs, and was fond of them; and
       because-well, I invited Von Gerhard. He came, and I
       found myself dangerously glad to see him, so that I made
       my greeting as airy and frivolous as possible. Perhaps
       I overdid the airy business, for Von Gerhard looked at me
       for a long, silent minute, until the nonsense I had been
       chattering died on my lips, and I found myself staring up
       at him like a child that is apprehensive of being scolded
       for some naughtiness.
       "Not so much chatter, small one," he said,
       unsmilingly. "This pretense, it is not necessary between
       you and me. So. You are ein bischen blasz, nicht? A
       little pale? You have not been ill, Dawn?"
       "Ill? Never felt more chipper in my life," I made
       flippant answer, "and I adore these people who are
       forever telling one how unusually thin, or pale, or
       scrawny one is looking."
       "Na, they are not to be satisfied, these women! If
       I were to tell you how lovely you look to me to-night you
       would draw yourself up with chill dignity and remind me
       that I am not privileged to say these things to you. So
       I discreetly mention that you are looking, interestingly
       pale, taking care to keep all tenderness out of my tones,
       and still you are not pleased." He shrugged despairing
       shoulders.
       "Can't you strike a happy medium between rudeness
       and tenderness? After all, I haven't had a glimpse of
       your blond beauty for three weeks. And while I don't ask
       you to whisper sweet nothings, still, after twenty-one
       days--"
       "You have been lonely? If only I thought that those
       weeks have been as wearisome to you--"
       "Not lonely exactly," I hurriedly interrupted, "but
       sort of wishing that some one would pat me on the head
       and tell me that I was a good doggie. You know what I
       mean. It is so easy to become accustomed to
       thoughtfulness and devotion, and so dreadfully hard to be
       happy without it, once one has had it. This has been a
       sort of training for what I may expect when Vienna has
       swallowed you up."
       "You are still obstinate? These three weeks have not
       changed you? Ach, Dawn! Kindchen!--"
       But I knew that these were thin spots marked
       "Danger!" in our conversational pond. So, "Come," said
       I. "I have two new aborigines for you to meet. They are
       the very shiniest and wildest of all our shiny-faced and
       wild aborigines. And you should see their trousers and
       neckties! If you dare to come back from Vienna wearing
       trousers like these!--"
       "And is the party in honor of these new aborigines?"
       laughed Von Gerhard. "You did not explain in your note.
       Merely you asked me to come, knowing that I cared not
       if it were a lawn fete or a ball, so long as I might
       again be with you."
       We were on our way to the dining room, where the
       festivities were to be held. I stopped and turned a look
       of surprise upon him.
       "Don't you know that the Knapfs are leaving? Did I
       neglect to mention that this is a farewell party for Herr
       and Frau Knapf? We are losing our home, and we have just
       one week in which to find another."
       "But where will you go? And why did you not tell me
       this before?"
       "I haven't an idea where I shall lay my poor old
       head. In the lap of the gods, probably, for I don't know
       how I shall find the time to interview landladies and
       pack my belongings in seven short days. The book will
       have to suffer for it. Just when it was getting along so
       beautifully, too."
       There was a dangerous tenderness in Von Gerhard's
       eyes as he said: "Again you are a wanderer, eh--small
       one? That you, with your love of beautiful things, and
       your fastidiousness, should have to live in this way--in
       these boarding-houses, alone, with not even the comforts
       that should be yours. Ach, Kindchen, you were not made
       for that. You were intended for the home, with a husband,
       and kinder, and all that is truly worth while."
       I swallowed a lump in my throat as I shrugged my
       shoulders. "Pooh! Any woman can have a husband and
       babies," I retorted, wickedly. "But mighty few women can
       write a book. It's a special curse."
       "And you prefer this life--this existence, to the
       things that I offer you! You would endure these
       hardships rather than give up the nonsensical views which
       you entertain toward your--"
       "Please. We were not to talk of that. I am enduring
       no hardships. Since I have lived in this pretty town I
       have become a worshiper of the goddess Gemutlichkeit.
       Perhaps I shan't find another home as dear to my heart as
       this has been, but at least I shan't have to sleep on a
       park bench, and any one can tell you that park benches
       have long been the favored resting place of genius.
       There is Frau Nirlanger beckoning us. Now do stop
       scowling, and smile for the lady. I know you will get on
       beautifully with the aborigines."
       He did get on with them so beautifully that in less
       than half an hour they were swapping stories of Germany,
       of Austria, of the universities, of student life. Frau
       Knapf served a late supper, at which some one led in
       singing Auld Lang Syne, although the sounds emanating
       from the aborigines' end of the table sounded
       suspiciously like Die Wacht am Rhein.
       Following that the aborigines rose en masse and roared
       out their German university songs, banging their glasses
       on the table when they came to the chorus until we all
       caught the spirit of it and banged our glasses like
       rathskeller veterans. Then the red-faced and amorous
       Fritz, he of the absent Lena, announced his intention of
       entertaining the company. Made bold by an injudicious
       mixture of Herr Knapf's excellent beer, and a wonderful
       punch which Von Gerhard had concocted, Fritz mounted his
       chair, placed his plump hand over the spot where he
       supposed his heart to be, fastened his watery blue eyes
       upon my surprised and blushing countenance, and sang
       "Weh! Dass Wir Scheiden Mussen!" in an astonishingly
       beautiful barytone. I dared not look at Von Gerhard, for
       I knew that he was purple with suppressed mirth, so I
       stared stonily at the sardine sandwich and dill pickle on
       my plate, and felt myself growing hot and hysterical, and
       cold and tearful by turns.
       At the end of the last verse I rose hastily
       and brought from their hiding-place the gifts which we of
       Knapfs' had purchased as remembrances for Herr and Frau
       Knapf. I had been delegated to make the presentation
       speech, so I grasped in one hand the too elaborate pipe
       that was to make Herr Knapf unhappy, and the too
       fashionable silk umbrella that was to appall Frau Knapf,
       and ascended the little platform at the end of the dining
       room, and began to speak in what I fondly thought to be
       fluent and highsounding German. Immediately the
       aborigines went off into paroxysms of laughter. They
       threw back their heads and roared, and slapped their
       thighs, and spluttered. It appeared that they thought I
       was making a humorous speech. At that discovery I cast
       dignity aside and continued my speech in the language of
       a German vaudeville comedian, with a dash of Weber and
       Field here and there. With the presentation of the silk
       umbrella Frau Knapf burst into tears, groped about
       helplessly for her apron, realized that it was missing
       from its accustomed place, and wiped her tears upon her
       cherished blue silk sleeve in the utter abandon of her
       sorrow. We drank to the future health and prosperity of
       our tearful host and hostess, and some one suggested drei
       mal drei, to which we responded in a manner to make the
       chin-chucking lieutenant tremble in his frame on the wall.
       When it was all over Frau Nirlanger beckoned me, and
       she, Dr. von Gerhard and I stole out into the hall and
       stood at the foot of the stairway, discussing our plans
       for the future, and trying to smile as we talked of this
       plan and that. Frau Nirlanger, in the pretty white gown,
       was looking haggard and distrait. The oogly husband was
       still in the dining room, finishing the beer and punch,
       of which he had already taken too much.
       "A tiny apartment we have taken," said Frau
       Nirlanger, softly. "It is better so. Then I shall have
       a little housework, a little cooking, a little marketing
       to keep me busy and perhaps happy." Her hand closed over
       mine. "But that shall us not separate," she pleaded.
       "Without you to make me sometimes laugh what should I
       then do? You will bring her often to our little
       apartment, not?" she went on, turning appealingly to Von
       Gerhard.
       "As often as Mrs. Orme will allow me," he answered.
       "Ach, yes. So lonely I shall be. You do not know
       what she has been to me, this Dawn. She is brave for
       two. Always laughing she is, and merry, nicht wahr?
       Meine kleine Soldatin, I call her.
       "Soldatin, eh?" mused Von Gerhard. "Our little
       soldier. She is well named. And her battles she fights
       alone. But quite alone." His eyes, as they looked down
       on me from his great height had that in them which sent
       the blood rushing and tingling to my finger-tips. I
       brought my hand to my head in stiff military salute.
       "Inspection satisfactory, sir?"
       He laughed a rueful little laugh. "Eminently. Aber
       ganz befriedigend."
       He was very tall, and straight and good to look at as
       he stood there in the hall with the light from the
       newel-post illuminating his features and emphasizing his
       blondness. Frau Nirlanger's face wore a drawn little
       look of pain as she gazed at him, and from him to the
       figure of her husband who had just emerged from the
       dining room, and was making unsteady progress toward us.
       Herr Nirlanger's face was flushed and his damp, dark hair
       was awry so that one lock straggled limply down over his
       forehead. As he approached he surveyed us with a surly
       frown that changed slowly into a leering grin. He
       lurched over and placed a hand familiarly on my shoulder.
       "We mus' part," he announced, dramatically. "O, weh!
       The bes' of frien's m'z part. Well, g'by, li'l
       interfering Teufel. F'give you, though, b'cause you're
       such a pretty li'l Teufel." He raised one hand as though
       to pat my check and because of the horror which I saw on
       the face of the woman beside me I tried to smile, and did
       not shrink from him. But with a quick movement Von
       Gerhard clutched the swaying figure and turned it so that
       it faced the stairs.
       "Come Nirlanger! Time for hard-working men like you
       and me to be in bed. Mrs. Orme must not nod over her
       desk to-morrow, either. So good-night. Schlafen Sie
       wohl."
       Konrad Nirlanger turned a scowling face over his
       shoulder. Then he forgot what he was scowling for, and
       smiled a leering smile.
       "Pretty good frien's, you an' the li'l Teufel, yes?
       Guess we'll have to watch you, huh, Anna? We'll watch
       'em, won't we?"
       He began to climb the stairs laboriously, with Frau
       Nirlanger's light figure flitting just ahead of him. At
       the bend in the stairway she turned and looked down on us
       a moment, her eyes very bright and big. She pressed her
       fingers to her lips and wafted a little kiss toward us
       with a gesture indescribably graceful and pathetic.
       She viewed her husband's laborious progress, not
       daring to offer help. Then the turn in the stair hid her
       from sight.
       In the dim quiet of the little hallway Von Gerhard
       held out his hands--those deft, manual hands--those
       steady, sure, surgeonly hands--hands to cling to, to
       steady oneself by, and because I needed them most just
       then, and because I longed with my whole soul to place
       both my weary hands in those strong capable ones and to
       bring those dear, cool, sane fingers up to my burning
       cheeks, I put one foot on the first stair and held out
       two chilly fingertips. "Good-night, Herr Doktor," I
       said, "and thank you, not only for myself, but for her.
       I have felt what she feels to-night. It is not a
       pleasant thing to be ashamed of one's husband."
       Von Gerhard's two hands closed over that one of mine.
       "Dawn, you will let me help you to find comfortable
       quarters? You cannot tramp about from place to place all
       the week. Let us get a list of addresses, and then, with
       the machine, we can drive from one to the other in an
       hour. It will at least save you time and strength."
       "Go boarding-house hunting in a stunning green
       automobile!" I exclaimed. From my vantage point on the
       steps I could look down on him, and there came over me a
       great longing to run my fingers gently through that
       crisp blond hair, and to
       bring his head down close against my breast for one
       exquisite moment. So--"Landladies and oitermobiles!" I
       laughed. "Never! Don't you know that if they got one
       glimpse, through the front parlor windows, of me stepping
       grand-like out of your, green motor car, they would
       promptly over-charge me for any room in the house? I
       shall go room-hunting in my oldest hat, with one finger
       sticking out of my glove."
       Von Gerhard shrugged despairing shoulders.
       "Na, of what use is it to plead with you. Sometimes
       I wonder if, after all, you are not merely amusing
       yourself. Getting copy, perhaps, for the book, or a new
       experience to add to your already varied store."
       Abruptly I turned to hide my pain, and began to
       ascend the stairs. With a bound Von Gerhard was beside
       me, his face drawn and contrite.
       "Forgive me, Dawn! I know that you are wisest. It
       is only that I become a little mad, I think, when I see
       you battling alone like this, among strangers, and know
       that I have not the right to help you. I knew not what
       I was saying. Come, raise your eyes and smile, like the
       little Soldatin that you are. So. Now I am forgiven,
       yes?"
       I smiled cheerily enough into his blue eyes. "Quite
       forgiven. And now you must run along. This is
       scandalously late. The aborigines will be along saying
       `Morgen!' instead of `Nabben'!' if we stay here much
       longer. Good-night."
       "You will give me your new address as soon as you
       have found a satisfactory home?"
       "Never fear! I probably shall be pestering you with
       telephone calls, urging you to have pity upon me in my
       loneliness. Now goodnight again. I'm as full of
       farewells as a Bernhardt." And to end it I ran up the
       stairs. At the bend, just where Frau Nirlanger had
       turned, I too stopped and looked over my shoulder. Von
       Gerhard was standing as I had left him, looking up at me.
       And like Frau Nirlanger, I wafted a little kiss in his
       direction, before I allowed the bend in the stairs to cut
       off my view. But Von Gerhard did not signify by look or
       word that he had seen it, as he stood looking up at me,
       one strong white hand resting on the broad baluster. _