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Coming of Bill, The
BOOK TWO   BOOK TWO - Chapter I - Empty-handed
P G Wodehouse
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       BOOK TWO: Chapter I - Empty-handed
       The steamship _Santa Barbara_, of the United Fruit Line, moved
       slowly through the glittering water of the bay on her way to dock. Out
       at quarantine earlier in the morning there had been a mist, through
       which passing ships loomed up vague and shapeless; but now the sun had
       dispersed it and a perfect May morning welcomed the _Santa
       Barbara_ home.
       Kirk leaned on the rail, looking with dull eyes on the city he had left
       a year before. Only a year! It seemed ten. As he stood there he felt an
       old man.
       A drummer, a cheery soul who had come aboard at Porto Rico, sauntered
       up, beaming with well-being and good-fellowship.
       "Looks pretty good, sir," said he.
       Kirk did not answer. He had not heard.
       "Some burg," ventured the drummer.
       Again encountering silence, he turned away, hurt. This churlish
       attitude on the part of one returning to God's country on one of God's
       own mornings surprised and wounded him.
       To him all was right with the world. He had breakfasted well; he was
       smoking a good cigar; and he was strong in the knowledge that he had
       done well by the firm this trip and that bouquets were due to be handed
       to him in the office on lower Broadway. He was annoyed with Kirk for
       having cast even a tiny cloud upon his contentment.
       He communicated his feelings to the third officer, who happened to come
       on deck at that moment.
       "Say, who _is_ that guy?" he asked complainingly. "The big son of
       a gun leaning on the rail. Seems like he'd got a hangover this morning.
       Is he deaf and dumb or just plain grouchy?"
       The third officer eyed Kirk's back with sympathy.
       "I shouldn't worry him, Freddie," he said. "I guess if you had been up
       against it like him you'd be shy on the small talk. That's a fellow
       called Winfield. They carried him on board at Colon. He was about all
       in. Got fever in Colombia, inland at the mines, and nearly died. His
       pal did die. Ever met Hank Jardine?"
       "Long, thin man?"
       The other nodded.
       "One of the best. He made two trips with us."
       "And he's dead?"
       "Died of fever away back in the interior, where there's nothing much
       else except mosquitoes. He and Winfield went in there after gold."
       "Did they get any?" asked the drummer, interested.
       The third officer spat disgustedly over the rail.
       "You ask Winfield. Or, rather, don't, because I guess it's not his pet
       subject. He told me all about it when he was getting better. There was
       gold there, all right, in chunks. It only needed to be dug for. And
       somebody else did the digging. Of all the skin games! It made me pretty
       hot under the collar, and it wasn't _me_ that was stung.
       "Out there you can't buy land if you're a foreigner; you have to lease
       it from the natives. Poor old Hank leased his bit, all right, and when
       he'd got to his claim he found somebody else working on it. It seemed
       there had been a flaw in his agreement and the owners had let it over
       his head to these other guys, who had slipped them more than what Hank
       had done."
       "What did he do?"
       "He couldn't do anything. They were the right side of the law, or what
       they call law out there. There was nothing to do except beat it back
       again three hundred miles to the coast. That's where they got the fever
       which finished Hank. So you can understand," concluded the third
       officer, "that Mr. Winfield isn't in what you can call a sunny mood. If
       I were you, I'd go and talk to someone else, if conversation's what you
       need."
       Kirk stood motionless at the rail, thinking. It was not what was past
       that occupied his thoughts, as the third officer had supposed; it was
       the future.
       The forlorn hope had failed; he was limping back to Ruth wounded and
       broken. He had sent her a wireless message. She would be at the dock to
       meet him. How could he face her? Fate had been against him, it was
       true, but he was in no mood to make excuses for himself. He had failed.
       That was the beginning and the end of it. He had set out to bring back
       wealth and comfort to her, and he was returning empty-handed.
       That was what the immediate future held, the meeting with Ruth. And
       after? His imagination was not equal to the task of considering that.
       He had failed as an artist. There was no future for him there. He must
       find some other work. But he was fit for no other work. He had no
       training. What could he do in a city where keenness of competition is a
       tradition? It would be as if an unarmed man should attack a fortress.
       The thought of the years he had wasted was very bitter. Looking back,
       he could see how fate had tricked him into throwing away his one
       talent. He had had promise. With hard work he could have become an
       artist, a professional--a man whose work was worth money in the open
       market. He had never had it in him to be a great artist, but he had had
       the facility which goes to make a good worker of the second class. He
       had it still. Given the time for hard study, it was still in him to
       take his proper place among painters.
       But time for study was out of his reach now. He must set to work at
       once, without a day's delay, on something which would bring him
       immediate money. The reflection brought his mind back abruptly to the
       practical consideration of the future.
       Before him, as he stood there, the ragged battlements of New York
       seemed to frown down on him with a cold cruelty that paralysed his
       mind. He had seen them a hundred times before. They should have been
       familiar and friendly. But this morning they were strange and sinister.
       The skyline which daunts the emigrant as he comes up the bay to his new
       home struck fear into Kirk's heart.
       He turned away and began to walk up and down the deck.
       He felt tired and lonely. For the first time he realized just what it
       meant to him that he should never see Hank again. It had been hard,
       almost impossible, till now to force his mind to face that fact. He had
       winced away from it. But now it would not be avoided. It fell upon him
       like a shadow.
       Hank had filled a place of his own in Kirk's life. Theirs had been one
       of those smooth friendships which absence cannot harm. Often they had
       not seen each other for months at a time. Indeed, now that he thought
       of it, Hank was generally away; and he could not remember that they had
       ever exchanged letters. Yet even so there had been a bond between them
       which had never broken. And now Hank had dropped out.
       Kirk began to think about death. As with most men of his temperament,
       it was a subject on which his mind had seldom dwelt, never for any
       length of time. His parents had died when he was too young to
       understand; and circumstances had shielded him from the shadow of the
       great mystery. Birth he understood; it had forced itself into the
       scheme of his life; but death till now had been a stranger to him.
       The realization of it affected him oddly. In a sense, he found it
       stimulating; not stimulating as birth had been, but more subtly. He
       could recall vividly the thrill that had come to him with the birth of
       his son. For days he had walked as one in a trance. The world had
       seemed unreal, like an opium-smoker's dream. There had been magic
       everywhere.
       But death had exactly the opposite effect. It made everything curiously
       real--himself most of all. He had the sensation, as he thought of Hank,
       of knowing himself for the first time. Somehow he felt strengthened,
       braced for the fight, as a soldier might who sees his comrade fall at
       his side.
       There was something almost vindictive in the feeling that came to him.
       It was too vague to be analysed, but it filled him with a desire to
       fight, gave him a sense of determination of which he had never before
       been conscious. It toughened him, and made the old, easy-going Kirk
       Winfield seem a stranger at whom he could look with detachment and a
       certain contempt.
       As he walked back along the deck the battlements of the city met his
       gaze once more. But now they seemed less formidable.
       In the leisurely fashion of the home-coming ship the _Santa
       Barbara_ slid into her dock. The gangplank was thrust out. Kirk
       walked ashore.
       For a moment he thought that Ruth had not come to meet him. Then his
       heart leaped madly. He had seen her.
       * * * * *
       There are worse spots in the world than the sheds of the New York
       customs, but few more desolate; yet to Kirk just then the shadowy
       vastness seemed a sunlit garden. A flame of happiness blazed up in his
       mind, blotting out in an instant the forebodings which had lurked there
       like evil creatures in a dark vault. The future, with its explanations
       and plans, could take care of itself. Ruth was a thing of the present.
       He put his arms round her and held her. The friendly drummer, who
       chanced to be near, observed them with interest and a good deal of
       pleasure. The third officer's story had temporarily destroyed his
       feeling that all was right with the world, and his sympathetic heart
       welcomed this evidence that life held compensations even for men who
       had been swindled out of valuable gold-mines.
       "I guess he's not feeling so worse, after all," he mused, and went on
       his way with an easy mind to be fawned upon by his grateful firm.
       Ruth was holding Kirk at arm's length, her eyes full of tears at the
       sight.
       "You poor boy, how thin you are!"
       "I had fever. It's an awful place for fever out there."
       "Kirk!"
       "Oh, I'm all right now. The voyage set me up. They made a great fuss
       over me on board."
       Ruth's hand was clinging to his arm. He squeezed it against his side.
       It was wonderful to him, this sense of being together again after these
       centuries of absence. It drove from his mind the thought of all the
       explanations which sooner or later he had got to make. Whatever might
       come after, he would keep this moment in his memory golden and
       untarnished.
       "Don't you worry about me," he said. "Now that I've found you again I'm
       feeling better than I ever did in my life. You wait till you see me
       sparring with Steve to-morrow. By the way, how is Steve?"
       "Splendid."
       "And Bill?"
       Ruth drew herself up haughtily.
       "You dare to ask about your son after Steve? How clumsy that sounds! I
       mean you dare to put Steve before your son. I believe you've only just
       realized that you have a son."
       "I've only just realized there's anybody or anything in the world
       except my wife."
       "Well, after that I suppose I've got to forgive you. Since you have
       asked after Bill at last, I may tell you that he's very well indeed."
       Kirk's eyes glowed.
       "He ought to be a great kid by now."
       "He is."
       "And Mamie? Have you still got her?"
       "I wouldn't lose her for a million."
       "And Whiskers?"
       "I'm afraid Whiskers is gone."
       "Not dead?"
       "No. I gave him away."
       "For Heaven's sake! Why?"
       "Well, dear, the fact is, I've come around to Aunt Lora's way of
       thinking."
       "Eh?"
       "About germs."
       Kirk laughed, the first real laugh he had had for a year.
       "That insane fad of hers!"
       Ruth was serious.
       "I have," she said. "We're taking a great deal more care of Bill than
       in the old days. I hate to think of the way I used to let him run
       around wild then. He might have died."
       "What nonsense! He was simply bursting with health all the time."
       "I had a horrible shock after you left," Ruth went on. "The poor little
       fellow was awfully ill with some kind of a fever. The doctor almost
       gave him up."
       "Good heavens!"
       "Aunt Lora helped me to nurse him, and she made me see how I had been
       exposing him to all sorts of risks, and--well, now we guard against
       them."
       There was a silence.
       "I grew to rely on her a great deal, Kirk, when you were away. You know
       I always used to before we were married. She's so wonderfully strong.
       And then when your letters stopped coming----"
       "There aren't any postal arrangements out there in the interior. It was
       the worst part of it--not being able to write to you or hear from you.
       Heavens, what an exile I've been this last year! Anything may have
       happened!"
       "Perhaps something has," said Ruth mysteriously.
       "What do you mean?"
       "Wait and see. Oh, I know one thing that has happened. I've been
       looking at you all this while trying to think what it was. You've grown
       a beard, and it looks perfectly horrid."
       "Sheer laziness. It shall come off this very day. I knew you would hate
       it."
       "I certainly do. It makes you look so old."
       Kirk's face clouded.
       "I feel old."
       For the first time since he had left the ship the memory of Hank had
       come back to him. The sight of Ruth had driven it away, but now it
       swept back on him. The golden moment was over. Life with all its
       troubles and its explanations and its burdening sense of failure must
       be faced.
       "What's the matter?" asked Ruth, startled by the sudden change.
       "I was thinking of poor old Hank."
       "Where is Mr. Jardine? Didn't he come back with you?"
       "He's dead, dear," said Kirk gently. "He died of fever while we were
       working our way back to the coast."
       "Oh!"
       It was the idea of death that shocked Ruth, not the particular
       manifestation of it. Hank had not touched her life. She had begun by
       disliking him and ended by feeling for him the tolerant sort of
       affection which she might have bestowed upon a dog or a cat. Hank as a
       man was nothing to her, and she could not quite keep her indifference
       out of her voice.
       It was only later, when he looked back on this conversation, that Kirk
       realized this. At the moment he was unconscious of it, significant as
       it was of the fact that there were points at which his mind and Ruth's
       did not touch.
       When Ruth spoke again it was to change the subject.
       "Well, Kirk," she said, "have you come back with your trunk crammed
       with nuggets? You haven't said a word about the mine yet, and I'm dying
       to know."
       He groaned inwardly. The moment he had been dreading had arrived more
       swiftly than he had expected. It was time for him to face facts.
       "No," he said shortly.
       Ruth looked at him curiously. She met his eyes and saw the pain in
       them, and intuition told her in an instant what Kirk, stumbling through
       his story, could not have told her in an hour. She squeezed his arm
       affectionately.
       "Don't tell me," she said. "I understand. And it doesn't matter. It
       doesn't matter a bit."
       "Doesn't matter? But----"
       Ruth's eyes were dancing.
       "Kirk, dear, I've something to tell you. Wait till we get outside."
       "What do you mean?"
       "You'll soon see?"
       They went out into the street. Against the kerb a large red automobile
       was standing. The chauffeur touched his cap as he saw them. Kirk stared
       at him dumbly.
       "In you get, dear," said Ruth.
       She met his astonished gaze with a smile of triumph. This was her
       moment, the moment for which she had been waiting. The chauffeur
       started the machine.
       "I don't understand. Whose car is this?"
       "Mine. Yours. Ours. Oh, Kirk, darling, I was so afraid that you would
       come back bulging with a fortune that would make my little one look
       like nothing. But you haven't, you haven't, and it's just splendid."
       She caught his hand and pressed it. "It's simply sweet of you to look
       so astonished. I was hoping you would. This car belongs to us, and
       there's another just as big besides, and a house, and--oh--everything
       you can think of. Kirk, dear, we've nothing to worry us any longer.
       We're rich!"
       Content of BOOK TWO: Chapter I - Empty-handed [P G Wodehouse's novel: The Coming of Bill]
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