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Much Ado About Nothing
act i   Scene 3
William Shakespeare
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       Another room in Leonato's house.
       [Enter Sir John the Bastard and Conrade, his companion.]
       CONRADE
       What the goodyear, my lord! Why are you thus out of measure sad?
       JOHN
       There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the
       sadness is without limit.
       CONRADE
       You should hear reason.
       JOHN
       And when I have heard it, what blessings brings it?
       CONRADE
       If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.
       JOHN
       I wonder that thou (being, as thou say'st thou art, born under
       Saturn) goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying
       mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have
       cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when I have stomach, and
       wait for no man's leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no
       man's business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his
       humour.
       CONRADE
       Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you may do
       it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your
       brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace, where it is
       impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that
       you make yourself. It is needful that you frame the season for
       your own harvest.
       JOHN
       I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and
       it better fits my blood to be disdain'd of all than to fashion a
       carriage to rob love from any. In this, though I cannot be said
       to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a
       plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and
       enfranchis'd with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to
       sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my
       liberty, I would do my liking. In the meantime let me be that I
       am, and seek not to alter me.
       CONRADE
       Can you make no use of your discontent?
       JOHN
       I make all use of it, for I use it only.
       [Enter Borachio.]
       Who comes here? What news, Borachio?
       BORACHIO
       I came yonder from a great supper. The Prince your brother is
       royally entertain'd by Leonato, and I can give you intelligence
       of an intended marriage.
       JOHN
       Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for
       a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?
       BORACHIO
       Marry, it is your brother's right hand.
       JOHN
       Who? the most exquisite Claudio?
       BORACHIO
       Even he.
       JOHN
       A proper squire! And who? and who? which way looks he?
       BORACHIO
       Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.
       JOHN
       A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?
       BORACHIO
       Being entertain'd for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room,
       comes me the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand in sad conference.
       I whipt me behind the arras and there heard it agreed upon that
       the Prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtain'd her,
       give her to Count Claudio.
       JOHN
       Come, come, let us thither. This may prove food to my
       displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my
       overthrow. If I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way.
       You are both sure, and will assist me?
       CONRADE
       To the death, my lord.
       JOHN
       Let us to the great supper. Their cheer is the greater that I am
       subdued. Would the cook were o' my mind! Shall we go prove what's
       to be done?
       BORACHIO
       We'll wait upon your lordship.
       [Exeunt.]
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Dramatis Personae
act i
   Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
act ii
   Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
act iii
   Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4
   Scene 5
act iv
   Scene 1
   Scene 2
act v
   Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4