您的位置 : 首页 > 英文著作
Unbearable Bassington, The
CHAPTER III
Saki
下载:Unbearable Bassington, The.txt
本书全文检索:
       _ On the evening of a certain November day, two years after the
       events heretofore chronicled, Francesca Bassington steered her way
       through the crowd that filled the rooms of her friend Serena
       Golackly, bestowing nods of vague recognition as she went, but with
       eyes that were obviously intent on focussing one particular figure.
       Parliament had pulled its energies together for an Autumn Session,
       and both political Parties were fairly well represented in the
       throng. Serena had a harmless way of inviting a number of more or
       less public men and women to her house, and hoping that if you left
       them together long enough they would constitute a salon. In
       pursuance of the same instinct she planted the flower borders at
       her week-end cottage retreat in Surrey with a large mixture of
       bulbs, and called the result a Dutch garden. Unfortunately, though
       you may bring brilliant talkers into your home, you cannot always
       make them talk brilliantly, or even talk at all; what is worse you
       cannot restrict the output of those starling-voiced dullards who
       seem to have, on all subjects, so much to say that was well worth
       leaving unsaid. One group that Francesca passed was discussing a
       Spanish painter, who was forty-three, and had painted thousands of
       square yards of canvas in his time, but of whom no one in London
       had heard till a few months ago; now the starling-voices seemed
       determined that one should hear of very little else. Three women
       knew how his name was pronounced, another always felt that she must
       go into a forest and pray whenever she saw his pictures, another
       had noticed that there were always pomegranates in his later
       compositions, and a man with an indefensible collar knew what the
       pomegranates "meant." "What I think so splendid about him," said a
       stout lady in a loud challenging voice, "is the way he defies all
       the conventions of art while retaining all that the conventions
       stand for." "Ah, but have you noticed--" put in the man with the
       atrocious collar, and Francesca pushed desperately on, wondering
       dimly as she went, what people found so unsupportable in the
       affliction of deafness. Her progress was impeded for a moment by a
       couple engaged in earnest and voluble discussion of some
       smouldering question of the day; a thin spectacled young man with
       the receding forehead that so often denotes advanced opinions, was
       talking to a spectacled young woman with a similar type of
       forehead, and exceedingly untidy hair. It was her ambition in life
       to be taken for a Russian girl-student, and she had spent weeks of
       patient research in trying to find out exactly where you put the
       tea-leaves in a samovar. She had once been introduced to a young
       Jewess from Odessa, who had died of pneumonia the following week;
       the experience, slight as it was, constituted the spectacled young
       lady an authority on all things Russian in the eyes of her
       immediate set.
       "Talk is helpful, talk is needful," the young man was saying, "but
       what we have got to do is to lift the subject out of the furrow of
       indisciplined talk and place it on the threshing-floor of practical
       discussion."
       The young woman took advantage of the rhetorical full-stop to dash
       in with the remark which was already marshalled on the tip of her
       tongue.
       "In emancipating the serfs of poverty we must be careful to avoid
       the mistakes which Russian bureaucracy stumbled into when
       liberating the serfs of the soil."
       She paused in her turn for the sake of declamatory effect, but
       recovered her breath quickly enough to start afresh on level terms
       with the young man, who had jumped into the stride of his next
       sentence.
       "They got off to a good start that time," said Francesca to
       herself; "I suppose it's the Prevention of Destitution they're
       hammering at. What on earth would become of these dear good people
       if anyone started a crusade for the prevention of mediocrity?"
       Midway through one of the smaller rooms, still questing for an
       elusive presence, she caught sight of someone that she knew, and
       the shadow of a frown passed across her face. The object of her
       faintly signalled displeasure was Courtenay Youghal, a political
       spur-winner who seemed absurdly youthful to a generation that had
       never heard of Pitt. It was Youghal's ambition--or perhaps his
       hobby--to infuse into the greyness of modern political life some of
       the colour of Disraelian dandyism, tempered with the correctness of
       Anglo-Saxon taste, and supplemented by the flashes of wit that were
       inherent from the Celtic strain in him. His success was only a
       half-measure. The public missed in him that touch of blatancy
       which it looks for in its rising public men; the decorative
       smoothness of his chestnut-golden hair, and the lively sparkle of
       his epigrams were counted to him for good, but the restrained
       sumptuousness of his waistcoats and cravats were as wasted efforts.
       If he had habitually smoked cigarettes in a pink coral mouthpiece,
       or worn spats of Mackenzie tartan, the great heart of the voting-
       man, and the gush of the paragraph-makers might have been
       unreservedly his. The art of public life consists to a great
       extent of knowing exactly where to stop and going a bit further.
       It was not Youghal's lack of political sagacity that had brought
       the momentary look of disapproval into Francesca's face. The fact
       was that Comus, who had left off being a schoolboy and was now a
       social problem, had lately enrolled himself among the young
       politician's associates and admirers, and as the boy knew and cared
       nothing about politics, and merely copied Youghal's waistcoats,
       and, less successfully, his conversation, Francesca felt herself
       justified in deploring the intimacy. To a woman who dressed well
       on comparatively nothing a year it was an anxious experience to
       have a son who dressed sumptuously on absolutely nothing.
       The cloud that had passed over her face when she caught sight of
       the offending Youghal was presently succeeded by a smile of
       gratified achievement, as she encountered a bow of recognition and
       welcome from a portly middle-aged gentleman, who seemed genuinely
       anxious to include her in the rather meagre group that he had
       gathered about him.
       "We were just talking about my new charge," he observed genially,
       including in the "we" his somewhat depressed-looking listeners, who
       in all human probability had done none of the talking. "I was just
       telling them, and you may be interested to hear this--"
       Francesca, with Spartan stoicism, continued to wear an ingratiating
       smile, though the character of the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear
       and will not hearken, seemed to her at that moment a beautiful one.
       Sir Julian Jull had been a member of a House of Commons
       distinguished for its high standard of well-informed mediocrity,
       and had harmonised so thoroughly with his surroundings that the
       most attentive observer of Parliamentary proceedings could scarcely
       have told even on which side of the House he sat. A baronetcy
       bestowed on him by the Party in power had at least removed that
       doubt; some weeks later he had been made Governor of some West
       Indian dependency, whether as a reward for having accepted the
       baronetcy, or as an application of a theory that West Indian
       islands get the Governors they deserve, it would have been hard to
       say. To Sir Julian the appointment was, doubtless, one of some
       importance; during the span of his Governorship the island might
       possibly be visited by a member of the Royal Family, or at the
       least by an earthquake, and in either case his name would get into
       the papers. To the public the matter was one of absolute
       indifference; "who is he and where is it?" would have correctly
       epitomised the sum total of general information on the personal and
       geographical aspects of the case.
       Francesca, however, from the moment she had heard of the likelihood
       of the appointment, had taken a deep and lively interest in Sir
       Julian. As a Member of Parliament he had not filled any very
       pressing social want in her life, and on the rare occasions when
       she took tea on the Terrace of the House she was wont to lapse into
       rapt contemplation of St. Thomas's Hospital whenever she saw him
       within bowing distance. But as Governor of an island he would, of
       course, want a private secretary, and as a friend and colleague of
       Henry Greech, to whom he was indebted for many little acts of
       political support (they had once jointly drafted an amendment which
       had been ruled out of order), what was more natural and proper than
       that he should let his choice fall on Henry's nephew Comus? While
       privately doubting whether the boy would make the sort of secretary
       that any public man would esteem as a treasure, Henry was
       thoroughly in agreement with Francesca as to the excellence and
       desirability of an arrangement which would transplant that
       troublesome' young animal from the too restricted and conspicuous
       area that centres in the parish of St. James's to some misty corner
       of the British dominion overseas. Brother and sister had conspired
       to give an elaborate and at the same time cosy little luncheon to
       Sir Julian on the very day that his appointment was officially
       announced, and the question of the secretaryship had been mooted
       and sedulously fostered as occasion permitted, until all that was
       now needed to clinch the matter was a formal interview between His
       Excellency and Comus. The boy had from the first shewn very little
       gratification at the prospect of his deportation. To live on a
       remote shark-girt island, as he expressed it, with the Jull family
       as his chief social mainstay, and Sir Julian's conversation as a
       daily item of his existence, did not inspire him with the same
       degree of enthusiasm as was displayed by his mother and uncle, who,
       after all, were not making the experiment. Even the necessity for
       an entirely new outfit did not appeal to his imagination with the
       force that might have been expected. But, however lukewarm his
       adhesion to the project might be, Francesca and her brother were
       clearly determined that no lack of deft persistence on their part
       should endanger its success. It was for the purpose of reminding
       Sir Julian of his promise to meet Comus at lunch on the following
       day, and definitely settle the matter of the secretaryship that
       Francesca was now enduring the ordeal of a long harangue on the
       value of the West Indian group as an Imperial asset. Other
       listeners dexterously detached themselves one by one, but
       Francesca's patience outlasted even Sir Julian's flow of
       commonplaces, and her devotion was duly rewarded by a renewed
       acknowledgment of the lunch engagement and its purpose. She pushed
       her way back through the throng of starling-voiced chatterers
       fortified by a sense of well-earned victory. Dear Serena's absurd
       salons served some good purpose after all.
       Francesca was not an early riser and her breakfast was only just
       beginning to mobilise on the breakfast-table next morning when a
       copy of The Times, sent by special messenger from her brother's
       house, was brought up to her room. A heavy margin of blue
       pencilling drew her attention to a prominently-printed letter which
       bore the ironical heading: "Julian Jull, Proconsul." The matter
       of the letter was a cruel dis-interment of some fatuous and
       forgotten speeches made by Sir Julian to his constituents not many
       years ago, in which the value of some of our Colonial possessions,
       particularly certain West Indian islands, was decried in a medley
       of pomposity, ignorance and amazingly cheap humour. The extracts
       given sounded weak and foolish enough, taken by themselves, but the
       writer of the letter had interlarded them with comments of his own,
       which sparkled with an ironical brilliance that was Cervantes-like
       in its polished cruelty. Remembering her ordeal of the previous
       evening Francesca permitted herself a certain feeling of amusement
       as she read the merciless stabs inflicted on the newly-appointed
       Governor; then she came to the signature at the foot of the letter,
       and the laughter died out of her eyes. "Comus Bassington" stared
       at her from above a thick layer of blue pencil lines marked by
       Henry Greech's shaking hand.
       Comus could no more have devised such a letter than he could have
       written an Episcopal charge to the clergy of any given diocese. It
       was obviously the work of Courtenay Youghal, and Comus, for a
       palpable purpose of his own, had wheedled him into foregoing for
       once the pride of authorship in a clever piece of political
       raillery, and letting his young friend stand sponsor instead. It
       was a daring stroke, and there could be no question as to its
       success; the secretaryship and the distant shark-girt island faded
       away into the horizon of impossible things. Francesca, forgetting
       the golden rule of strategy which enjoins a careful choosing of
       ground and opportunity before entering on hostilities, made
       straight for the bathroom door, behind which a lively din of
       splashing betokened that Comus had at least begun his toilet.
       "You wicked boy, what have you done?" she cried, reproachfully.
       "Me washee," came a cheerful shout; "me washee from the neck all
       the way down to the merrythought, and now washee down from the
       merrythought to--"
       "You have ruined your future. The Times has printed that miserable
       letter with your signature."
       A loud squeal of joy came from the bath. "Oh, Mummy! Let me see!"
       There were sounds as of a sprawling dripping body clambering
       hastily out of the bath. Francesca fled. One cannot effectively
       scold a moist nineteen-year old boy clad only in a bath-towel and a
       cloud of steam.
       Another messenger arrived before Francesca's breakfast was over.
       This one brought a letter from Sir Julian Jull, excusing himself
       from fulfilment of the luncheon engagement. _