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Sister Carrie
CHAPTER XLII A TOUCH OF SPRING--THE EMPTY SHELL
Theodore Dreiser
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       _ Those who look upon Hurstwood's Brooklyn venture as an error of
       judgment will none the less realise the negative influence on him
       of the fact that he had tried and failed. Carrie got a wrong
       idea of it. He said so little that she imagined he had
       encountered nothing worse than the ordinary roughness--quitting
       so soon in the face of this seemed trifling. He did not want to
       work.
       She was now one of a group of oriental beauties who, in the
       second act of the comic opera, were paraded by the vizier before
       the new potentate as the treasures of his harem. There was no
       word assigned to any of them, but on the evening when Hurstwood
       was housing himself in the loft of the street-car barn, the
       leading comedian and star, feeling exceedingly facetious, said in
       a profound voice, which created a ripple of laughter:
       "Well, who are you?"
       It merely happened to be Carrie who was courtesying before him.
       It might as well have been any of the others, so far as he was
       concerned. He expected no answer and a dull one would have been
       reproved. But Carrie, whose experience and belief in herself
       gave her daring, courtesied sweetly again and answered:
       "I am yours truly."
       It was a trivial thing to say, and yet something in the way she
       did it caught the audience, which laughed heartily at the mock-
       fierce potentate towering before the young woman. The comedian
       also liked it, hearing the laughter.
       "I thought your name was Smith," he returned, endeavouring to get
       the last laugh.
       Carrie almost trembled for her daring after she had said this.
       All members of the company had been warned that to interpolate
       lines or "business" meant a fine or worse. She did not know what
       to think.
       As she was standing in her proper position in the wings, awaiting
       another entry, the great comedian made his exit past her and
       paused in recognition.
       "You can just leave that in hereafter," he remarked, seeing how
       intelligent she appeared. "Don't add any more, though."
       "Thank you," said Carrie, humbly. When he went on she found
       herself trembling violently.
       "Well, you're in luck," remarked another member of the chorus.
       "There isn't another one of us has got a line."
       There was no gainsaying the value of this. Everybody in the
       company realised that she had got a start. Carrie hugged herself
       when next evening the lines got the same applause. She went home
       rejoicing, knowing that soon something must come of it. It was
       Hurstwood who, by his presence, caused her merry thoughts to flee
       and replaced them with sharp longings for an end of distress.
       The next day she asked him about his venture.
       "They're not trying to run any cars except with police. They
       don't want anybody just now--not before next week."
       Next week came, but Carrie saw no change. Hurstwood seemed more
       apathetic than ever. He saw her off mornings to rehearsals and
       the like with the utmost calm. He read and read. Several times
       he found himself staring at an item, but thinking of something
       else. The first of these lapses that he sharply noticed
       concerned a hilarious party he had once attended at a driving
       club, of which he had been a member. He sat, gazing downward,
       and gradually thought he heard the old voices and the clink of
       glasses.
       "You're a dandy, Hurstwood," his friend Walker said. He was
       standing again well dressed, smiling, good-natured, the recipient
       of encores for a good story.
       All at once he looked up. The room was so still it seemed
       ghostlike. He heard the clock ticking audibly and half suspected
       that he had been dozing. The paper was so straight in his hands,
       however, and the items he had been reading so directly before
       him, that he rid himself of the doze idea. Still, it seemed
       peculiar. When it occurred a second time, however, it did not
       seem quite so strange.
       Butcher and grocery man, baker and coal man--not the group with
       whom he was then dealing, but those who had trusted him to the
       limit--called. He met them all blandly, becoming deft in excuse.
       At last he became bold, pretended to be out, or waved them off.
       "They can't get blood out of a turnip," he said. "if I had it
       I'd pay them."
       Carrie's little soldier friend, Miss Osborne, seeing her
       succeeding, had become a sort of satellite. Little Osborne could
       never of herself amount to anything. She seemed to realise it in
       a sort of pussy-like way and instinctively concluded to cling
       with her soft little claws to Carrie.
       "Oh, you'll get up," she kept telling Carrie with admiration.
       "You're so good."
       Timid as Carrie was, she was strong in capability. The reliance
       of others made her feel as if she must, and when she must she
       dared. Experience of the world and of necessity was in her
       favour. No longer the lightest word of a man made her head
       dizzy. She had learned that men could change and fail. Flattery
       in its most palpable form had lost its force with her. It
       required superiority--kindly superiority--to move her--the
       superiority of a genius like Ames.
       "I don't like the actors in our company," she told Lola one day.
       "They're all so struck on themselves."
       "Don't you think Mr. Barclay's pretty nice?" inquired Lola, who
       had received a condescending smile or two from that quarter.
       "Oh, he's nice enough," answered Carrie; "but he isn't sincere.
       He assumes such an air."
       Lola felt for her first hold upon Carrie in the following manner:
       "Are you paying room-rent where you are?"
       "Certainly," answered Carrie. "Why?"
       "I know where I could get the loveliest room and bath, cheap.
       It's too big for me, but it would be just right for two, and the
       rent is only six dollars a week for both."
       "Where?" said Carrie.
       "In Seventeenth Street."
       "Well, I don't know as I'd care to change," said Carrie, who was
       already turning over the three-dollar rate in her mind. She was
       thinking if she had only herself to support this would leave her
       seventeen for herself.
       Nothing came of this until after the Brooklyn adventure of
       Hurstwood's and her success with the speaking part. Then she
       began to feel as if she must be free. She thought of leaving
       Hurstwood and thus making him act for himself, but he had
       developed such peculiar traits she feared he might resist any
       effort to throw him off. He might hunt her out at the show and
       hound her in that way. She did not wholly believe that he would,
       but he might. This, she knew, would be an embarrassing thing if
       he made himself conspicuous in any way. It troubled her greatly.
       Things were precipitated by the offer of a better part. One of
       the actresses playing the part of a modest sweetheart gave notice
       of leaving and Carrie was selected.
       "How much are you going to get?" asked Miss Osborne, on hearing
       the good news.
       "I didn't ask him," said Carrie.
       "Well, find out. Goodness, you'll never get anything if you
       don't ask. Tell them you must have forty dollars, anyhow."
       "Oh, no," said Carrie.
       "Certainly!" exclaimed Lola. "Ask 'em, anyway."
       Carrie succumbed to this prompting, waiting, however, until the
       manager gave her notice of what clothing she must have to fit the
       part.
       "How much do I get?" she inquired.
       "Thirty-five dollars," he replied.
       Carrie was too much astonished and delighted to think of
       mentioning forty. She was nearly beside herself, and almost
       hugged Lola, who clung to her at the news.
       "It isn't as much as you ought to get," said the latter,
       "especially when you've got to buy clothes."
       Carrie remembered this with a start. Where to get the money? She
       had none laid up for such an emergency. Rent day was drawing
       near.
       "I'll not do it," she said, remembering her necessity. "I don't
       use the flat. I'm not going to give up my money this time. I'll
       move."
       Fitting into this came another appeal from Miss Osborne, more
       urgent than ever.
       "Come live with me, won't you?" she pleaded. "We can have the
       loveliest room. It won't cost you hardly anything that way."
       "I'd like to," said Carrie, frankly.
       "Oh, do," said Lola. "We'll have such a good time."
       Carrie thought a while.
       "I believe I will," she said, and then added: "I'll have to see
       first, though."
       With the idea thus grounded, rent day approaching, and clothes
       calling for instant purchase, she soon found excuse in
       Hurstwood's lassitude. He said less and drooped more than ever.
       As rent day approached, an idea grew in him. It was fostered by
       the demands of creditors and the impossibility of holding up many
       more. Twenty-eight dollars was too much for rent. "It's hard on
       her," he thought. "We could get a cheaper place."
       Stirred with this idea, he spoke at the breakfast table.
       "Don't you think we pay too much rent here?" he asked.
       "Indeed I do," said Carrie, not catching his drift.
       "I should think we could get a smaller place," he suggested. "We
       don't need four rooms."
       Her countenance, had he been scrutinising her, would have
       exhibited the disturbance she felt at this evidence of his
       determination to stay by her. He saw nothing remarkable in
       asking her to come down lower.
       "Oh, I don't know," she answered, growing wary.
       "There must be places around here where we could get a couple of
       rooms, which would do just as well."
       Her heart revolted. "Never!" she thought. Who would furnish the
       money to move? To think of being in two rooms with him! She
       resolved to spend her money for clothes quickly, before something
       terrible happened. That very day she did it. Having done so,
       there was but one other thing to do.
       "Lola," she said, visiting her friend, "I think I'll come."
       "Oh, jolly!" cried the latter.
       "Can we get it right away?" she asked, meaning the room.
       "Certainly," cried Lola.
       They went to look at it. Carrie had saved ten dollars from her
       expenditures--enough for this and her board beside. Her enlarged
       salary would not begin for ten days yet--would not reach her for
       seventeen. She paid half of the six dollars with her friend.
       "Now, I've just enough to get on to the end of the week," she
       confided.
       "Oh, I've got some," said Lola. "I've got twenty-five dollars,
       if you need it."
       "No," said Carrie. "I guess I'll get along."
       They decided to move Friday, which was two days away. Now that
       the thing was settled, Carrie's heart misgave her. She felt very
       much like a criminal in the matter. Each day looking at
       Hurstwood, she had realised that, along with the disagreeableness
       of his attitude, there was something pathetic.
       She looked at him the same evening she had made up her mind to
       go, and now he seemed not so shiftless and worthless, but run
       down and beaten upon by chance. His eyes were not keen, his face
       marked, his hands flabby. She thought his hair had a touch of
       grey. All unconscious of his doom, he rocked and read his paper,
       while she glanced at him.
       Knowing that the end was so near, she became rather solicitous.
       "Will you go over and get some canned peaches?" she asked
       Hurstwood, laying down a two-dollar bill.
       "Certainly," he said, looking in wonder at the money.
       "See if you can get some nice asparagus," she added. "I'll cook
       it for dinner."
       Hurstwood rose and took the money, slipping on his overcoat and
       getting his hat. Carrie noticed that both of these articles of
       apparel were old and poor looking in appearance. It was plain
       enough before, but now it came home with peculiar force. Perhaps
       he couldn't help it, after all. He had done well in Chicago.
       She remembered his fine appearance the days he had met her in the
       park. Then he was so sprightly, so clean. Had it been all his
       fault?
       He came back and laid the change down with the food.
       "You'd better keep it," she observed. "We'll need other things."
       "No," he said, with a sort of pride; "you keep it."
       "Oh, go on and keep it," she replied, rather unnerved. "There'll
       be other things."
       He wondered at this, not knowing the pathetic figure he had
       become in her eyes. She restrained herself with difficulty from
       showing a quaver in her voice.
       To say truly, this would have been Carrie's attitude in any case.
       She had looked back at times upon her parting from Drouet and had
       regretted that she had served him so badly. She hoped she would
       never meet him again, but she was ashamed of her conduct. Not
       that she had any choice in the final separation. She had gone
       willingly to seek him, with sympathy in her heart, when Hurstwood
       had reported him ill. There was something cruel somewhere, and
       not being able to track it mentally to its logical lair, she
       concluded with feeling that he would never understand what
       Hurstwood had done and would see hard-hearted decision in her
       deed; hence her shame. Not that she cared for him. She did not
       want to make any one who had been good to her feel badly.
       She did not realise what she was doing by allowing these feelings
       to possess her. Hurstwood, noticing the kindness, conceived
       better of her. "Carrie's good-natured, anyhow," he thought.
       Going to Miss Osborne's that afternoon, she found that little
       lady packing and singing.
       "Why don't you come over with me today?" she asked.
       "Oh, I can't," said Carrie. "I'll be there Friday. Would you
       mind lending me the twenty-five dollars you spoke of?"
       "Why, no," said Lola, going for her purse.
       "I want to get some other things," said Carrie.
       "Oh, that's all right," answered the little girl, good-naturedly,
       glad to be of service.
       It had been days since Hurstwood had done more than go to the
       grocery or to the news-stand. Now the weariness of indoors was
       upon him--had been for two days--but chill, grey weather had held
       him back. Friday broke fair and warm. It was one of those
       lovely harbingers of spring, given as a sign in dreary winter
       that earth is not forsaken of warmth and beauty. The blue
       heaven, holding its one golden orb, poured down a crystal wash of
       warm light. It was plain, from the voice of the sparrows, that
       all was halcyon outside. Carrie raised the front windows, and
       felt the south wind blowing.
       "It's lovely out to-day," she remarked.
       "Is it?" said Hurstwood.
       After breakfast, he immediately got his other clothes.
       "Will you be back for lunch?" asked Carrie nervously.
       "No," he said.
       He went out into the streets and tramped north, along Seventh
       Avenue, idly fixing upon the Harlem River as an objective point.
       He had seen some ships up there, the time he had called upon the
       brewers. He wondered how the territory thereabouts was growing.
       Passing Fifty-ninth Street, he took the west side of Central
       Park, which he followed to Seventy-eighth Street. Then he
       remembered the neighbourhood and turned over to look at the mass
       of buildings erected. It was very much improved. The great open
       spaces were filling up. Coming back, he kept to the Park until
       110th Street, and then turned into Seventh Avenue again, reaching
       the pretty river by one o'clock.
       There it ran winding before his gaze, shining brightly in the
       clear light, between the undulating banks on the right and the
       tall, tree-covered heights on the left. The spring-like
       atmosphere woke him to a sense of its loveliness, and for a few
       moments he stood looking at it, folding his hands behind his
       back. Then he turned and followed it toward the east side, idly
       seeking the ships he had seen. It was four o'clock before the
       waning day, with its suggestion of a cooler evening, caused him
       to return. He was hungry and would enjoy eating in the warm
       room.
       When he reached the flat by half-past five, it was still dark.
       He knew that Carrie was not there, not only because there was no
       light showing through the transom, but because the evening papers
       were stuck between the outside knob and the door. He opened with
       his key and went in. Everything was still dark. Lighting the
       gas, he sat down, preparing to wait a little while. Even if
       Carrie did come now, dinner would be late. He read until six,
       then got up to fix something for himself.
       As he did so, he noticed that the room seemed a little queer.
       What was it? He looked around, as if he missed something, and
       then saw an envelope near where he had been sitting. It spoke
       for itself, almost without further action on his part.
       Reaching over, he took it, a sort of chill settling upon him even
       while he reached. The crackle of the envelope in his hands was
       loud. Green paper money lay soft within the note.
       "Dear George," he read, crunching the money in one hand, "I'm
       going away. I'm not coming back any more. It's no use trying to
       keep up the flat; I can't do it. I wouldn't mind helping you, if
       I could, but I can't support us both, and pay the rent. I need
       what little I make to pay for my clothes. I'm leaving twenty
       dollars. It's all I have just now. You can do whatever you like
       with the furniture. I won't want it.--CARRIE.
       He dropped the note and looked quietly round. Now he knew what
       he missed. It was the little ornamental clock, which was hers.
       It had gone from the mantelpiece. He went into the front room,
       his bedroom, the parlour, lighting the gas as he went. From the
       chiffonier had gone the knick-knacks of silver and plate. From
       the table-top, the lace coverings. He opened the wardrobe--no
       clothes of hers. He opened the drawers--nothing of hers. Her
       trunk was gone from its accustomed place. Back in his own room
       hung his old clothes, just as he had left them. Nothing else was
       gone.
       He stepped into the parlour and stood for a few moments looking
       vacantly at the floor. The silence grew oppressive. The little
       flat seemed wonderfully deserted. He wholly forgot that he was
       hungry, that it was only dinner-time. It seemed later in the
       night.
       Suddenly, he found that the money was still in his hands. There
       were twenty dollars in all, as she had said. Now he walked back,
       leaving the lights ablaze, and feeling as if the flat were empty.
       "I'll get out of this," he said to himself.
       Then the sheer loneliness of his situation rushed upon him in
       full.
       "Left me!" he muttered, and repeated, "left me!"
       The place that had been so comfortable, where he had spent so
       many days of warmth, was now a memory. Something colder and
       chillier confronted him. He sank down in his chair, resting his
       chin in his hand--mere sensation, without thought, holding him.
       Then something like a bereaved affection and self-pity swept over
       him.
       "She needn't have gone away," he said. "I'd have got something."
       He sat a long while without rocking, and added quite clearly, out
       loud:
       "I tried, didn't I?"
       At midnight he was still rocking, staring at the floor. _
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Chapter I THE MAGNET ATTRACTING--A WAIF AMID FORCES
CHAPTER II WHAT POVERTY THREATENED--OF GRANITE AND BRASS
CHAPTER III WEE QUESTION OF FORTUNE--FOUR-FIFTY A WEEK
CHAPTER IV THE SPENDINGS OF FANCY--FACTS ANSWER WITH SNEERS
CHAPTER V A GLITTERING NIGHT FLOWER--THE USE OF A NAME
CHAPTER VI THE MACHINE AND THE MAIDEN--A KNIGHT OF TO-DAY
CHAPTER VII THE LURE OF THE MATERIAL--BEAUTY SPEAKS FOR ITSELF
CHAPTER VIII INTIMATIONS BY WINTER--AN AMBASSADOR SUMMONED
CHAPTER IX CONVENTION'S OWN TINDER-BOX--THE EYE THAT IS GREEN
CHAPTER X THE COUNSEL OF WINTER--FORTUNE'S AMBASSADOR CALLS
CHAPTER XI THE PERSUASION OF FASHION--FEELING GUARDS O'ER ITS OWN
CHAPTER XII OF THE LAMPS OF THE MANSIONS--THE AMBASSADOR PLEA
CHAPTER XIII HIS CREDENTIALS ACCEPTED--A BABEL OF TONGUES
CHAPTER XIV WITH EYES AND NOT SEEING--ONE INFLUENCE WANES
CHAPTER XV THE IRK OF THE OLD TIES--THE MAGIC OF YOUTH
CHAPTER XVI A WITLESS ALADDIN--THE GATE TO THE WORLD
CHAPTER XVII A GLIMPSE THROUGH THE GATEWAY--HOPE LIGHTENS THE EYE
CHAPTER XVIII JUST OVER THE BORDER--A HAIL AND FAREWELL
CHAPTER XIX AN HOUR IN ELFLAND--A CLAMOUR HALF HEARD
CHAPTER XX THE LURE OF THE SPIRIT--THE FLESH IN PURSUIT
CHAPTER XXI THE LURE OF THE SPIRIT--THE FLESH IN PURSUIT
CHAPTER XXII THE BLAZE OF THE TINDER--FLESH WARS WITH THE FLESH
CHAPTER XXIII A SPIRIT IN TRAVAIL--ONE RUNG PUT BEHIND
CHAPTER XXIV ASHES OF TINDER--A FACE AT THE WINDOW
CHAPTER XXV ASHES OF TINDER--THE LOOSING OF STAYS
CHAPTER XXVI THE AMBASSADOR FALLEN--A SEARCH FOR THE GATE
CHAPTER XXVII WHEN WATERS ENGULF US WE REACH FOR A STAR
CHAPTER XXVIII A PILGRIM, AN OUTLAW--THE SPIRIT DETAINED
CHAPTER XXIX THE SOLACE OF TRAVEL--THE BOATS OF THE SEA
CHAPTER XXX THE KINGDOM OF GREATNESS--THE PILGRIM A DREAM
CHAPTER XXXI A PET OF GOOD FORTUNE--BROADWAY FLAUNTS ITS JOYS
CHAPTER XXXII THE FEAST OF BELSHAZZAR--A SEER TO TRANSLATE
CHAPTER XXXIII WITHOUT THE WALLED CITY--THE SLOPE OF THE YEARS
CHAPTER XXXIV THE GRIND OF THE MILLSTONES--A SAMPLE OF CHAFF
CHAPTER XXXV THE PASSING OF EFFORT--THE VISAGE OF CARE
CHAPTER XXXVI A GRIM RETROGRESSION--THE PHANTOM OF CHANCE
CHAPTER XXXVII THE SPIRIT AWAKENS--NEW SEARCH FOR THE GATE
CHAPTER XXXVIII IN ELF LAND DISPORTING--THE GRIM WORLD WITHOUT
CHAPTER XXXIX OF LIGHTS AND OF SHADOWS--THE PARTING OF WORLDS
CHAPTER XL A PUBLIC DISSENSION--A FINAL APPEAL
CHAPTER XLI THE STRIKE
CHAPTER XLII A TOUCH OF SPRING--THE EMPTY SHELL
CHAPTER XLIII THE WORLD TURNS FLATTERER--AN EYE IN THE DARK
CHAPTER XLIV AND THIS IS NOT ELF LAND--WHAT GOLD WILL NOT BUY
CHAPTER XLV CURIOUS SHIFTS OF THE POOR
CHAPTER XLVI STIRRING TROUBLED WATERS
CHAPTER XLVII THE WAY OF THE BEATEN--A HARP IN THE WIND