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Essay(s) by Samuel Johnson
Idler 013 [No. 13: The imaginary housewife]
Samuel Johnson
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       Idler No. 13. Saturday, July 8, 1758.
       TO THE IDLER.
       Dear Mr. Idler,
       Though few men of prudence are much inclined to interpose in disputes between man and wife, who commonly make peace at the expense of the arbitrator; yet I will venture to lay before you a controversy, by which the quiet of my house has been long disturbed, and which, unless you can decide it, is likely to produce lasting evils, and embitter those hours which nature seems to have appropriated to tenderness and repose.
       I married a wife with no great fortune, but of a family remarkable for domestick prudence, and elegant frugality. I lived with her at ease, if not with happiness, and seldom had any reason of complaint. The house was always clean, the servants were active and regular, dinner was on the table every day at the same minute, and the ladies of the neighbourhood were frightened when I invited their husbands, lest their own economy should be less esteemed.
       During this gentle lapse of life, my dear brought me three daughters. I wished for a son, to continue the family; but my wife often tells me, that boys are dirty things, and are always troublesome in a house; and declares that she has hated the sight of them ever since she saw lady Fondle's eldest son ride over a carpet with his hobby-horse all mire.
       I did not much attend to her opinion, but knew that girls could not be made boys; and therefore composed myself to bear what I could not remedy, and resolved to bestow that care on my daughters, to which only the sons are commonly thought entitled.
       But my wife's notions of education differ widely from mine. She is an irreconcilable enemy to idleness, and considers every state of life as idleness, in which the hands are not employed, or some art acquired, by which she thinks money may be got or saved.
       In pursuance of this principle, she calls up her daughters at a certain hour, and appoints them a task of needlework to be performed before breakfast. They are confined in a garret, which has its window in the roof, both because work is best done at a sky-light, and because children are apt to lose time by looking about them.
       They bring down their work to breakfast, and as they deserve are commended or reproved; they are then sent up with a new task till dinner; if no company is expected, their mother sits with them the whole afternoon, to direct their operations, and to draw patterns, and is sometimes denied to her nearest relations when she is engaged in teaching them a new stitch.
       By this continual exercise of their diligence, she has obtained a very considerable number of laborious performances. We have twice as many fire-skreens as chimneys, and three flourished quilts for every bed. Half the rooms are adorned with a kind of _sutile pictures_, which imitate tapestry. But all their work is not set out to show; she has boxes filled with knit garters and braided shoes. She has twenty covers for side-saddles embroidered with silver flowers, and has curtains wrought with gold in various figures, which she resolves some time or other to hang up. All these she displays to her company whenever she is elate with merit, and eager for praise; and amidst the praises which her friends and herself bestow upon her merit, she never fails to turn to me, and ask what all these would cost, if I had been to buy them.
       I sometimes venture to tell her, that many of the ornaments are superfluous; that what is done with so much labour might have been supplied by a very easy purchase; that the work is not always worth the materials; and that I know not why the children should be persecuted with useless tasks, or obliged to make shoes that are never worn. She answers with a look of contempt, that men never care how money goes, and proceeds to tell of a dozen new chairs for which she is contriving covers, and of a couch which she intends to stand as a monument of needle-work.
       In the mean time, the girls grow up in total ignorance of every thing past, present, and future. Molly asked me the other day, whether Ireland was in France, and was ordered by her mother to mend her hem. Kitty knows not, at sixteen, the difference between a Protestant and a Papist, because she has been employed three years in filling the side of a closet with a hanging that is to represent Cranmer in the flames. And Dolly, my eldest girl, is now unable to read a chapter in the Bible, having spent all the time, which other children pass at school, in working the interview between Solomon and the queen of Sheba.
       About a month ago, Tent and Turkey-stitch seemed at a stand; my wife knew not what new work to introduce; I ventured to propose that the girls should now learn to read and write, and mentioned the necessity of a little arithmetick; but, unhappily, my wife has discovered that linen wears out, and has bought the girls three little wheels, that they may spin huckaback for the servants' table. I remonstrated, that with larger wheels they might despatch in an hour what must now cost them a day; but she told me, with irresistible authority, that any business is better than idleness; that when these wheels are set upon a table, with mats under them, they will turn without noise, and keep the girls upright; that great wheels are not fit for gentlewomen; and that with these, small as they are, she does not doubt but that the three girls, if they are kept close, will spin every year as much cloth as would cost five pounds if one were to buy it.
       [The end]
       Samuel Johnson's essay: Idler No. 13
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Account Of A Book Entitled An Historical And Critical Enquiry
An Account Of An Attempt To Ascertain The Longitude
Account Of The Harleian Library
Adventurer 034 [No. 34: Folly of extravagance. The story of Misargyrus]
Adventurer 039 [No. 39: On sleep]
Adventurer 041 [No. 41: Sequel of the story of Misargyrus]
Adventurer 045 [No. 45: The difficulty of forming confederacies]
Adventurer 050 [No. 50: On lying]
Adventurer 053 [No. 53: Misargyrus' account of his companions in the Fleet]
Adventurer 058 [No. 58: Presumption of modern criticism censured...]
Adventurer 062 [No. 62: Misargyrus' account of his companions concluded]
Adventurer 067 [No. 67: On the trades of London]
Adventurer 069 [No. 69: Idle hope]
Adventurer 074 [No. 74: Apology for neglecting officious advice]
Adventurer 081 [No. 81: Incitement to enterprise and emulation]
Adventurer 084 [No. 84: Folly of false pretences to importance...]
Adventurer 085 [No. 85: Study, composition, and converse equally necessary...]
Adventurer 092 [No. 92: Criticism on the Pastorals of Virgil]
Adventurer 095 [No. 95: Apology for apparent plagiarism...]
Adventurer 099 [No. 99: Projectors injudiciously censured and applauded]
Adventurer 102 [Infelicities of retirement to men of business]
Adventurer 107 [Different opinions equally plausible]
Adventurer 108 [On the uncertainty of human things]
Adventurer 111 [The pleasures and advantages of industry]
Adventurer 115 [The itch of writing universal]
Adventurer 119 [The folly of creating artificial wants]
Adventurer 120 [The miseries of life]
Adventurer 126 [Solitude not eligible]
Adventurer 128 [Men differently employed unjustly censured by each other]
Adventurer 131 [Singularities censured]
Adventurer 137 [Writers not a useless generation]
Adventurer 138 [Their happiness and infelicity]
Advertisement To The Fourth Edition Of The English Dictionary
An Appeal To The Publick
Ascham
Barretier
Boerhaave
Browne
Burman
Cave
Cheynel
Considerations On The Case Of Dr. T[rapp]'s Sermons
Considerations On The Corn Laws
Considerations On The Plans Offered For The Construction Of Blackfriars Bridge
Controversy Between Crousaz And Warburton
Dedications
A Dissertation Upon The Greek Comedy, Translated From Brumoy
An Essay On Epitaphs
The False Alarm 1770
Father Paul Sarpi
Further Thoughts On Agriculture
General Conclusion To Brumoy's Greek Theatre
General Observations On The Plays Of Shakespeare
Idler 001 [No. 1: The Idler's character]
Idler 002 [No. 2: Invitation to correspondents]
Idler 003 [No. 3: Idler's reason for writing]
Idler 004 [No. 4: Charities and hospitals]
Idler 005 [No. 5: Proposal for a female army]
Idler 006 [No. 6: Lady's performance on horseback]
Idler 007 [No. 7: Scheme for news-writers]
Idler 008 [No. 8: Plan of military discipline]
Idler 009 [No. 9: Progress of idleness]
Idler 010 [No. 10: Political credulity]
Idler 011 [No. 11: Discourses on the weather]
Idler 012 [No. 12: Marriages, why advertised]
Idler 013 [No. 13: The imaginary housewife]
Idler 014 [No. 14: Robbery of time]
Idler 015 [No. 15: Treacle's complaint of his wife]
Idler 016 [No. 16: Drugget's retirement]
Idler 017 [No. 17: Expedients of idlers]
Idler 018 [No. 18: Drugget vindicated]
Idler 019 [No. 19: Whirler's character]
Idler 020 [No. 20: Capture of Louisbourg]
Idler 021 [No. 21: Linger's history of listlessness]
Idler 022 [No. 22: Imprisonment of debtors]
Idler 023 [No. 23: Uncertainty of friendship]
Idler 024 [No. 24: Man does not always think]
Idler 025 [No. 25: New actors on the stage]
Idler 026 [No. 26: Betty Broom's history]
Idler 027 [No. 27: Power of habits]
Idler 028 [No. 28: Wedding-day. Grocer's wife. Chairman]
Idler 029 [No. 29: Betty Broom's history continued]
Idler 030 [No. 30: Corruption of news-writers]
Idler 031 [No. 31: Disguises of idleness. Sober's character]
Idler 032 [No. 32: On Sleep]
Idler 033 [No. 33: Journal of a fellow of a college]
Idler 034 [No. 34: Punch and conversation compared]
Idler 035 [No. 35: Auction-hunter described and ridiculed]
Idler 036 [No. 36: The terrific diction ridiculed]
Idler 037 [No. 37: Useful things easy of attainment]
Idler 038 [No. 38: Cruelty shown to debtors in prison]
Idler 039 [No. 39: The various uses of the bracelet]
Idler 040 [No. 40: The art of advertising exemplified]
Idler 041 [No. 41: Serious reflections on the death of a friend]
Idler 042 [No. 42: Perdita's complaint of her father]
Idler 043 [No. 43: Monitions on the flight of time]
Idler 044 [No. 44: The use of memory considered]
Idler 045 [No. 45: On painting. Portraits defended]
Idler 046 [No. 46: Molly Quick's complaint of her mistress]
Idler 047 [No. 47: Deborah Ginger's account of city-wits]
Idler 048 [No. 48: The bustle of idleness described and ridiculed]
Idler 049 [No. 49: Marvel's journey narrated]
Idler 050 [No. 50: Marvel's journey paralleled]
Idler 051 [No. 51: Domestick greatness unattainable]
Idler 052 [No. 52: Self-denial necessary]
Idler 053 [No. 53: Mischiefs of good company]
Idler 054 [No. 54: Mrs. Savecharges' complaint]
Idler 055 [No. 55: Authors' mortifications]
Idler 056 [No. 56: Virtuosos whimsical]
Idler 057 [No. 57: Character of Sophron]
Idler 058 [No. 58: Expectations of pleasure frustrated]
Idler 059 [No. 59: Books fall into neglect]
Idler 060 [No. 60: Minim the critic]
Idler 061 [No. 61: Minim the critic]
Idler 062 [No. 62: Hanger's account of the vanity of riches]
Idler 063 [No. 63: Progress of arts and language]
Idler 064 [No. 64: Ranger's complaint concluded]
Idler 065 [No. 65: Fate of posthumous works]
Idler 066 [No. 66: Loss of ancient writings]
Idler 067 [No. 67: Scholar's journal]
Idler 068 [No. 68: History of translation]
Idler 069 [No. 69: History of translation]
Idler 070 [No. 70: Hard words defended]
Idler 071 [No. 71: Dick Shifter's rural excursion ]
Idler 072 [No. 72: Regulation of memory]
Idler 073 [No. 73: Tranquil's use of riches]
Idler 074 [No. 74: Memory rarely deficient]
Idler 075 [No. 75: Gelaleddin of Bassora]
Idler 076 [No. 76: False criticisms on painting]
Idler 077 [No. 77: Easy writing]
Idler 078 [No. 78: Steady, Snug, Startle, Solid and Misty]
Idler 079 [No. 79: Grand style of painting]
Idler 080 [No. 80: Ladies' journey to London]
Idler 081 [No. 81: Indian's speech to his countrymen]
Idler 082 [No. 82: The true idea of beauty]
Idler 083 [No. 83: Scruple, Wormwood, Sturdy and Gentle]
Idler 084 [No. 84: Biography, how best performed]
Idler 085 [No. 85: Books multiplied by useless compilations]
Idler 086 [No. 86: Miss Heartless' want of a lodging]
Idler 087 [No. 87: Amazonian bravery revived]
Idler 088 [No. 88: What have ye done?]
Idler 089 [No. 89: Physical evil moral good]
Idler 090 [No. 90: Rhetorical action considered]
Idler 091 [No. 91: Sufficiency of the English language]
Idler 092 [No. 92: Nature of cunning]
Idler 093 [No. 93: Sam Softly's history]
Idler 094 [No. 94: Obstructions of learning]
Idler 095 [No. 95: Tim Wainscot's son a fine gentleman]
Idler 096 [No. 96: Hacho of Lapland]
Idler 097 [No. 97: Narratives of travellers considered]
Idler 098 [No. 98: Sophia Heedful]
Idler 099 [No. 99: Ortogrul of Basra]
Idler 100 [The good sort of woman]
Idler 101 [Omar's plan of life]
Idler 102 [Authors inattentive to themselves]
Idler 103 [Honour of the last]
An Introduction To The Political State Of Great Britain
Introduction To The Proceedings Of The Committee
Introduction To The World Displayed
King Of Prussia
Letter On Du Halde's History Of China
Letter On Fireworks
A Letter To The Reverend Mr. Douglas,occasioned By His Vindication Of Milton
Marmor Norfolciense
Morin
Observations On The State Of Affairs In 1756
Observations On The Tragedy Of Macbeth
Observations On The Treaty
On Lay Patronage In The Church Of Scotland
On Pulpit Censure
On School Chastisement
On The Bravery Of The English Common Soldiers
On The Importance Of Small Tracts
On Vitious Intromission
Opinions On Questions Of Law
The Patriot
The Plan Of An English Dictionary
Preface To An Essay On Milton's Use & Imitation Of Moderns In His Paradise Lost
Preface To Payne's New Tables Of Interest
Preface To Rolt's Dictionary
Preface To Shakespeare
Preface To The Artists' Catalogue For 1762
Preface To The English Dictionary
Preface To The Gentleman's Magazine, 1738
Preface To The Literary Magazine, 1756
Preface To The Octavo Edition Of The English Dictionary
Preface To The Preceptor, Containing A General Plan Of Education
Preface To The Translation Of Father Lobo's Voyage To Abyssinia
Preliminary Discourse To The London Chronicle
A Project For The Employment Of Authors
Proposals For Printing The Works Of Shakespeare
Proposals For Printing, By Subscription, Essays In Verse And Prose
Rambler 005 [No. 5]
Rambler 042 [The Misery Of A Modish Lady In Solitude]
Rambler 051 [The Employments Of A Housewife In The Country]
Rambler 060 [No. 60]
Rambler 106 [The vanity of an author's expectations]
Rambler 107 [Properantia's hopes of a year of confusion. Misery of prostitute]
Rambler 108 [Life sufficient to all purposes if well employed]
Rambler 109 [The education of a fop]
Rambler 110 [Repentance stated and explained]
Rambler 111 [Youth made unfortunate by its haste and eagerness]
Rambler 112 [Too much nicety not to be indulged]
Rambler 113 [History of Hymenaeus's courtship]
Rambler 114 [Necessity of proportioning punishments to crimes]
Rambler 115 [Sequel of Hymenaeus's courtship]
Rambler 116 [The young trader's attempt at politeness]
Rambler 117 [Advantages of living in a garret]
Rambler 118 [The narrowness of fame]
Rambler 119 [Tranquilla's account of her lovers, opposed to Hymenaeus]
Rambler 120 [History of Almamoulin the son of Nouradin]
Rambler 121 [The dangers of imitation...]
Rambler 122 [A criticism on the English historians]
Rambler 123 [The young trader turned gentleman]
Rambler 124 [The lady's misery in a summer retirement]
Rambler 125 [Difficulty of defining comedy...]
Rambler 126 [Universality of cowardice...]
Rambler 127 [Diligence too soon relaxed. Necessity of perseverance]
Rambler 128 [Anxiety universal. The unhappiness of a wit and a fine lady]
Rambler 129 [The folly of cowardice and inactivity]
Rambler 130 [The history of a beauty]
Rambler 131 [Desire of gain the general passion]
Rambler 132 [The difficulty of educating a young nobleman]
Rambler 133 [The miseries of a beauty defaced]
Rambler 134 [Idleness an anxious and miserable state]
Rambler 135 [The folly of annual retreats into the country]
Rambler 136 [Meanness and mischief of indiscriminate dedication]
Rambler 137 [The necessity of literary courage]
Rambler 138 [Original characters to be found in the country...]
Rambler 139 [A critical examination of Samson Agonistes]
Rambler 140 [The criticism continued]
Rambler 141 [Danger of attempting wit in conversation]
Rambler 142 [An account of squire Bluster]
Rambler 143 [The criterions of plagiarism]
Rambler 144 [Difficulty of raising reputation. Various species of detractors]
Rambler 145 [Petty writers not to be despised]
Rambler 146
Rambler 147 [The courtier's esteem of assurance]
Rambler 148 [The cruelty of parental tyranny]
Rambler 149 [Benefits not always entitled to gratitude]
Rambler 150 [Adversity useful to the acquisition of knowledge]
Rambler 151 [The climactericks of the mind]
Rambler 152 [Criticism on epistolary writings]
Rambler 153 [The treatment incurred by loss of fortune]
Rambler 154 [The inefficacy of genius without learning]
Rambler 155 [Usefulness of advice. Danger of habits]
Rambler 156 [Laws of writing not always indisputable]
Rambler 157 [The scholar's complaint of his own bashfulness]
Rambler 158 [Rules of writing drawn from examples...]
Rambler 159 [The nature and remedies of bashfulness]
Rambler 160 [Rules for the choice of associates]
Rambler 161 [The revolutions of a garret]
Rambler 162 [Old men in danger of falling into pupilage...]
Rambler 163 [The mischiefs of following a patron]
Rambler 164 [Praise universally desired...]
Rambler 165 [The impotence of wealth...]
Rambler 166 [Favour not easily gained by the poor]
Rambler 167 [The marriage of Hymenaeus and Tranquilla]
Rambler 168 [Poetry debased by mean expressions]
Rambler 169 [Labour necessary to excellence]
Rambler 170 [The history of Misella debauched by her relation]
Rambler 171 [Misella's description of the life of a prostitute]
Rambler 172 [The effect of sudden riches upon the manners]
Rambler 173 [Unreasonable fears of pedantry]
Rambler 174 [The mischiefs of unbounded raillery...]
Rambler 175 [The majority are wicked]
Rambler 176 [Directions to authors attacked by criticks...]
Rambler 177 [An account of a club of antiquaries]
Rambler 178 [Many advantages not to be enjoyed together]
Rambler 179 [The awkward merriment of a student]
Rambler 180 [The study of life not to be neglected for the sake of books]
Rambler 181 [The history of an adventurer in lotteries]
Rambler 182 [The history of Leviculus, the fortune-hunter]
Rambler 183 [The influence of envy and interest compared]
Rambler 184 [Subject of essays often suggested by chance]
Rambler 185 [Prohibition of revenge justifiable by reason...]
Rambler 186 [Anningait and Ajut; a Greenland history]
Rambler 187 [The history of Anningait and Ajut concluded]
Rambler 188 [Favour often gained with little assistance from understanding]
Rambler 189 [The mischiefs of falsehood...]
Rambler 190 [The history of Abouzaid, the son of Morad]
Rambler 191 [The busy life of a young lady]
Rambler 192 [Love unsuccessful without riches]
Rambler 193 [The author's art of praising himself]
Rambler 194 [A young nobleman's progress in politeness]
Rambler 195 [A young nobleman's introduction to the knowledge of the town]
Rambler 196 [Human opinions mutable. The hopes of youth fallacious]
Rambler 197 [The history of a legacy-hunter]
Rambler 198 [The legacy-hunter's history concluded]
Rambler 199 [The virtues of Rabbi Abraham's magnet]
Rambler 200 [Asper's complaint of insolence of Prospero...]
Rambler 201 [The importance of punctuality]
Rambler 202 [The different acceptations of poverty]
Rambler 203 [Pleasures of life to be sought in prospects of futurity]
Rambler 204 [Ten days of Seged, emperour of Ethiopia]
Rambler 205 [The history of Seged concluded]
Rambler 206 [The art of living at the cost of others]
Rambler 207 [The folly of continuing too long upon the stage]
Rambler 208 [The Rambler's reception. His design]
Reply To A Paper In The Gazetteer
Review Of A Free Enquiry Into The Nature And Origin Of Evil
Review Of A Journal Of Eight Days' Journey
Review Of An Essay On The Writings And Genius Of Pope
Review Of Four Letters From Sir Isaac Newton
Review Of Memoirs Of The Court Of Augustus
Review Of The Account Of The Conduct Of The Dutchess Of Marlborough
Review Of The History Of The Royal Society Of London
Sir Francis Drake
Some Thoughts On Agriculture, Both Ancient And Modern
Sydenham
Taxation No Tyranny
Thoughts On The Coronation Of His Majesty King George The Third
Thoughts On The Late Transactions Respecting Falkland's Islands. 1771.
To The Catalogue Of The Harleian Library
Vindication Of The Licensers Of The Stage
The Vulture [Idler 22]