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Peck’s Sunshine
The Difference In Horses
George W.Peck
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       _ There has been a great change in livery horses within the last twenty years. Years ago, if a young fellow wanted to take his girl out riding, and expected to enjoy himself, he had to hire an old horse, the worst in the livery stable, that would drive itself, or he never could get his arm around his girl to save him. If he took a decent looking team, to to put on style, he had to hang on to the lines with both hands, and if he even took his eyes off the team to look at the suffering girl beside him, with his mouth, the chances were that the team would jump over a ditch, or run away, at the concussion. Riding out with girls was shorn of much of its pleasure in those days.
       We knew a young man that was going to put one arm around his girl if he did not lay up a cent, and it cost him over three hundred dollars. The team ran away, the buggy was wrecked, one horse was killed, the girl had her hind leg broken, and the girl's father kicked the young man all over the orchard, and broke the mainspring of his watch.
       It got so that the livery rig a young man drove was an index to his thoughts. If he had a stylish team that was right up on the bit, and full of vinegar, and he braced himself and pulled for all that was out, and the girl sat back in the corner of the buggy, looking as though she should faint away if a horse got his tail over a line, then people said that couple was all right, and there was no danger that they would be on familiar terms.
       But if they started out with a slow old horse that looked as though all he wanted was to be left alone, however innocent the party might look, people knew just as well as though they had seen it, that when they got out on the road, or when night came on, that fellow's arm would steal around her waist, and she would snug up to him, and--Oh, pshaw, you have heard it before.
       Well, late years the livery men have "got onto the racket," as they say at the church sociables. They have found that horses that know their business are in demand, and so horses are trained for this purpose They are trained on purpose for out door sparking. It is not an uncommon thing to see a young fellow drive up to the house where his girl lives with a team that is just tearing things. They prance, and champ the bit, and the young man seems to pull on them as though his liver was coming out. The horses will hardly stand still long enough for the girl to get in, and then they start off and seem to split the air wide open, and the neighbors say, "Them children will get all smashed up one of these days."
       The girl's mother and father see the team start, and their minds experience a relief as they reflect that "as long as John drives that frisky team there can't be no hugging a going on." The girl's older sister sighs and says, "That's so," and goes to her room and laughs right out loud.
       It would be instructive to the scientists to watch that team for a few miles. The horses fairly foam, before they get out of town, but striking the country road, the fiery steeds come down to a walk, and they mope along as though they had always worked on a hearse. The shady woods are reached, and the carriage scarcely moves, and the horses seem to be walking in their sleep. The lines are loose on the dash board, and the left arm of the driver is around the pretty girl, and they are talking low. It is not necessary to talk loud, as they are so near each other that the faintest whisper can be heard.
       But a change comes over them. A carriage appears in front, coming towards them. It may be some one that knows them. The young man picks up the lines, and the horses are in the air, and as they pass the other carriage it almost seems as though the team is running away, and the girl that was in sweet repose a moment before acts as though she wanted to get out. After passing the intruder the walk and conversation are continued.
       If you meet the party on the Whitefish Bay road at 10 o'clock at night, the horses are walking as quietly as oxen, and they never wake up until coming into town, and then he pulls up the team and drives through town like a cyclone, and when he drives up to the house the old man is on the steps, and he thinks John must be awful tired trying to hold that team. And he is.
       It is thought by some that horses have no intelligence, but a team that knows enough to take in a sporadic case of buggy sparking has got sense. These teams come high, but the boys have to have them. _
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Preface
Female Doctors Will Never Do
Crossman's Goat
A Mean Trick
A Female Knight Of Pythias
The Telescope Fish-Pole Cane
An Arm That Is Not Reliable
Bounced From Church For Dancing
Police Searching Women
About Hell
Unscrewing The Top Of A Fruit Jar
Buttermilk Bibbers
An Aesthetic Female Club Busted
Fooling With The Bible.
Colored Concert Troupes
Couldn't Get Away From Him
Dogs And Human Beings
Arthur Will Keep A Cow
Shall There Be Hugging In The Parks?
The Bob-Tailed Badger
Cannibals And Cork Legs
The Ministerial Pugilists
Music On The Waters
Woman-Dozing A Democrat
A Lively Train Load
How Sharper Than A Hound's Tooth
A Sewing Machine Given To The Boss Girl
Don't Appreciate Kindness
Religion And Fish
A Doctor Of Laws
The Difference In Horses
Addicted To Limburg Cheese
Terrible Time On The Cars
Changed Satchels
The Naughty But Nice Church Choir
Sense In Little Bugs
Summer Resorting
The Gospel Car
Incidents At The Newhall House Fire
The Way Women Boss A Pillow
The Deadly Paper Bag
The Virginia Duel
The Difference
Spurious Tripe
A Case Of Paralysis
Male And Female Mashing
The Uses Of The Paper Bag
The New Coal Stove
A Cold, Cheerless Ride
Some Talk About Monopolies
A Bald-Headed Man Most Crazy
Accidents And Incidents At Theatres
All About A Sandwich
Goodwill And Compassion
The Female Burglar
The Girl That Was Hugged To Death
Our Christian Neighbors Have Gone
The Sudden Fire-Works At Racine
Young Fools Who Marry
Large Mouths Are Fashionable
Looking For A Mooley Cow
The Harmful Hammock
Boys And Circuses
A Trying Situation
The Kind Of A Doctor To Have
They Don't Know What They Abe Talking About
A Kansas Cyclone
How Jeff Davis Was Captured
Those Bold, Bad Drummers.
Angels Or Eagles
An Accident All Abound
Prize Fighting And Mormonism
Misdeal In A Sleeping Car
Paralysis In A Theatre
The Queerest Name
Church Keno
The Advent Preacher And The Balloon
The Cause Of Rheumatism
How A Grocery Man Was Maimed
Camp Meeting In The Dark Of The Moon
Another View Of The Cask
The Pious Deacon And The Worldly Cow
The Question Of Cats
The Knight And The Bridal Chamber
The House Girl Race
The Trouble Mr. Storey Has
Tragedy On The Stage
The Mistake About It
The Man From Dubuque
The Giddy Girls Quarrel
Don't Leave Your Gum Around.
The Way To Name Children
About Railroad Conductors
A Hot Box At A Picnic
Broke Up A Prayer Meeting
Shooting On Sunday, With The Mouth
A Washington Surprise Party
The Difference In Clothes
A Temperance Lecture That Hurt
Bravery Of Mrs. Garfield
Illustrating The Assassination
The Infidel And His Silver Mine
The Great Monopolies
Another Dead Failure
Our Blue-Coated Dog Poisoners
And He Rose Up And Spake
Got In The Wrong Pew
Palace Cattle Cars
Duck Or No Dinner
The Guinea Pig
Failure Of A Solid Institution