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Peck’s Sunshine
A Sewing Machine Given To The Boss Girl
George W.Peck
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       _ In response to a request from W. T. Vankirk, George W. Peck presented the Rock County Agricultural Society with a sewing machine, to be given to the "boss combination girl" of Rock County. With the machine he sent the following letter, which explains his meaning of a "combination girl," etc.:
       Milwaukee, June 7, 1881.
       W. T. Vankirk--Dear Sir: Your letter, in reference to my giving some kind of a premium to somebody, at your County Fair, is received, and I have been thinking it over. I have brought my massive intellect to bear upon the subject, with the following result:
       I ship you to-day, by express, a sewing machine, complete, with cover, drop leaf, hemmer, tucker, feller, drawers, and everything that a girl wants, except corsets and tall stockings. Now, I want you to give that to the best "combination girl" in Rock County, with the compliments of the _Sun_.
       What I mean by a "combination," is one that in the opinion of your Committee has all the modern improvements, and a few of the old-fashioned faults, such as health, etc. She must be good-looking, that is, not too handsome, but just handsome enough. You don't want to give this machine to any female statue, or parlor ornament, who don't know how to play a tune on it, or who is as cold as a refrigerator car, and has no heart concealed about her person. Our girl, that is, our "Fair Girl," that takes this machine, must be "the boss." She must be jolly and good-natured, such a girl as would make the young man that married her think that Rock County was the next door to heaven, anyway. She must be so healthy that nature's roses will discount any preparation ever made by man, and so well-formed that nothing artificial is needed to--well, Van, you know what I mean.
       You want to pick out a thoroughbred, that is, all wool, a yard wide--that is, understand me, I don't want the girl to be a yard wide, but just right. Your Committee don't want to get "mashed" on some ethereal creature whose belt is not big enough for a dog collar. This premium girl wants to be able to do a day's work, if necessary, and one there is no danger of breaking in two if her intended should hug her.
       After your Committee have got their eyes on a few girls that they think will fill the bill, then they want to find out what kind of girls they are around their home. Find if they honor their fathers and their mothers, and are helpful, and care as much for the happiness of those around them as they do for their own. If you find one who is handsome as Venus--I don't know Venus, but I have heard that she takes the cake--I say, if you find one that is perfect in everything, but shirks her duties at home, and plays, "I Want to Be an Angel," on the piano, while her mother is mending her stockings, or ironing her "picnic skirts," then let her go ahead and be an angel as quick as she wants to, but don't give her the machine.. You catch the idea?
       Find a girl who has the elements of a noble woman; one whose heart is so large that she has to wear a little larger corset than some, but one who will make her home happy, and who is a friend to all; one who would walk further to do a good deed, and relieve suffering, than she would to patronize an ice cream saloon; one who would keep her mouth shut a month before she would say an unkind word, or cause a pang to another. Let your Committee settle on such a girl, and she is as welcome to that machine as possible.
       Now, Van, you ought to have a Committee appointed at once, and no one should know who the Committee is. They should keep their eyes out from now till the time of the Fair, and they should compare notes once in a while. You have got some splendid judges of girls there in Janesville, but you better appoint married men. They are usually more unbiased. They should not let any girl know that she is suspected of being the premium girl, until the judgment is rendered, so no one will be embarrassed by feeling that she is competing tor a prize.
       Now, Boss, I leave the constitution and the girls in your hands; and if this premium is the means of creating any additional interest in your Fair, and making people feel good natured and jolly, I shall be amply repaid.
       Your friend,
       Geo. W. Peck. _
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Preface
Female Doctors Will Never Do
Crossman's Goat
A Mean Trick
A Female Knight Of Pythias
The Telescope Fish-Pole Cane
An Arm That Is Not Reliable
Bounced From Church For Dancing
Police Searching Women
About Hell
Unscrewing The Top Of A Fruit Jar
Buttermilk Bibbers
An Aesthetic Female Club Busted
Fooling With The Bible.
Colored Concert Troupes
Couldn't Get Away From Him
Dogs And Human Beings
Arthur Will Keep A Cow
Shall There Be Hugging In The Parks?
The Bob-Tailed Badger
Cannibals And Cork Legs
The Ministerial Pugilists
Music On The Waters
Woman-Dozing A Democrat
A Lively Train Load
How Sharper Than A Hound's Tooth
A Sewing Machine Given To The Boss Girl
Don't Appreciate Kindness
Religion And Fish
A Doctor Of Laws
The Difference In Horses
Addicted To Limburg Cheese
Terrible Time On The Cars
Changed Satchels
The Naughty But Nice Church Choir
Sense In Little Bugs
Summer Resorting
The Gospel Car
Incidents At The Newhall House Fire
The Way Women Boss A Pillow
The Deadly Paper Bag
The Virginia Duel
The Difference
Spurious Tripe
A Case Of Paralysis
Male And Female Mashing
The Uses Of The Paper Bag
The New Coal Stove
A Cold, Cheerless Ride
Some Talk About Monopolies
A Bald-Headed Man Most Crazy
Accidents And Incidents At Theatres
All About A Sandwich
Goodwill And Compassion
The Female Burglar
The Girl That Was Hugged To Death
Our Christian Neighbors Have Gone
The Sudden Fire-Works At Racine
Young Fools Who Marry
Large Mouths Are Fashionable
Looking For A Mooley Cow
The Harmful Hammock
Boys And Circuses
A Trying Situation
The Kind Of A Doctor To Have
They Don't Know What They Abe Talking About
A Kansas Cyclone
How Jeff Davis Was Captured
Those Bold, Bad Drummers.
Angels Or Eagles
An Accident All Abound
Prize Fighting And Mormonism
Misdeal In A Sleeping Car
Paralysis In A Theatre
The Queerest Name
Church Keno
The Advent Preacher And The Balloon
The Cause Of Rheumatism
How A Grocery Man Was Maimed
Camp Meeting In The Dark Of The Moon
Another View Of The Cask
The Pious Deacon And The Worldly Cow
The Question Of Cats
The Knight And The Bridal Chamber
The House Girl Race
The Trouble Mr. Storey Has
Tragedy On The Stage
The Mistake About It
The Man From Dubuque
The Giddy Girls Quarrel
Don't Leave Your Gum Around.
The Way To Name Children
About Railroad Conductors
A Hot Box At A Picnic
Broke Up A Prayer Meeting
Shooting On Sunday, With The Mouth
A Washington Surprise Party
The Difference In Clothes
A Temperance Lecture That Hurt
Bravery Of Mrs. Garfield
Illustrating The Assassination
The Infidel And His Silver Mine
The Great Monopolies
Another Dead Failure
Our Blue-Coated Dog Poisoners
And He Rose Up And Spake
Got In The Wrong Pew
Palace Cattle Cars
Duck Or No Dinner
The Guinea Pig
Failure Of A Solid Institution