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Peck’s Sunshine
The Great Monopolies
George W.Peck
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       _ There is an association of old fossils at New York calling themselves the "Anti-Monopoly League," that has taken the job on their hands of saving the country from eternal and everlasting ruin at the hands of the gigantic monopolies, the railroads, and this league, through its President, L. E. Chittenden, is sending editorials and extracts from speeches delivered by great men who have been refused passes, or who have not been retained by railroads to conduct law suits as much as they think they ought to be, to newspapers all over the country requesting their publication.
       _The Sun_ gets its regular share of these documents each week, which go into the waste basket with a regularity that is truly remarkable, considering that we are not a railroad monopoly. But there is something so ridiculous about these articles that one cannot help laughing. They claim that the country is in the grasp of the gigantic monopolies, and that they will choke the country to death and ruin everybody, though what the object can be in running the country and everybody in it, is not stated.
       These monopolies have taken the country when it was as weak as gruel, and hoisted it by the slack of the pants to the leading position among nations. The monopolies have built their track all over God's creation, where land could not be given away, have hauled emigrants out there and set them up in business, and made the waste land of the government valuable. They have made transportation so cheap that the emigrant from Germany of last year can send wheat from Dakota to the Fatherland, and Bismarck and King William can get it cheaper than they can wheat grown within a mile of their castles.
       These monopolies that the played out nine-spot anti-monopoly leagues are howling against have made the country what it is, and if there is anybody in this country that don't like it, they can get emigrant tickets and go to Germany or Norway and take the places of the men that the monopolies are causing to settle here. Of course we could all run railroads better than the owners run them, but as long as we have not got money enough to buy them we better shut up our yap and let Jay Gould and his fellows do what they please with their own, as long as they permit the country to prosper as it is prospering now. The anti-monopoly leaguers had better go to driving street cars. _
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Preface
Female Doctors Will Never Do
Crossman's Goat
A Mean Trick
A Female Knight Of Pythias
The Telescope Fish-Pole Cane
An Arm That Is Not Reliable
Bounced From Church For Dancing
Police Searching Women
About Hell
Unscrewing The Top Of A Fruit Jar
Buttermilk Bibbers
An Aesthetic Female Club Busted
Fooling With The Bible.
Colored Concert Troupes
Couldn't Get Away From Him
Dogs And Human Beings
Arthur Will Keep A Cow
Shall There Be Hugging In The Parks?
The Bob-Tailed Badger
Cannibals And Cork Legs
The Ministerial Pugilists
Music On The Waters
Woman-Dozing A Democrat
A Lively Train Load
How Sharper Than A Hound's Tooth
A Sewing Machine Given To The Boss Girl
Don't Appreciate Kindness
Religion And Fish
A Doctor Of Laws
The Difference In Horses
Addicted To Limburg Cheese
Terrible Time On The Cars
Changed Satchels
The Naughty But Nice Church Choir
Sense In Little Bugs
Summer Resorting
The Gospel Car
Incidents At The Newhall House Fire
The Way Women Boss A Pillow
The Deadly Paper Bag
The Virginia Duel
The Difference
Spurious Tripe
A Case Of Paralysis
Male And Female Mashing
The Uses Of The Paper Bag
The New Coal Stove
A Cold, Cheerless Ride
Some Talk About Monopolies
A Bald-Headed Man Most Crazy
Accidents And Incidents At Theatres
All About A Sandwich
Goodwill And Compassion
The Female Burglar
The Girl That Was Hugged To Death
Our Christian Neighbors Have Gone
The Sudden Fire-Works At Racine
Young Fools Who Marry
Large Mouths Are Fashionable
Looking For A Mooley Cow
The Harmful Hammock
Boys And Circuses
A Trying Situation
The Kind Of A Doctor To Have
They Don't Know What They Abe Talking About
A Kansas Cyclone
How Jeff Davis Was Captured
Those Bold, Bad Drummers.
Angels Or Eagles
An Accident All Abound
Prize Fighting And Mormonism
Misdeal In A Sleeping Car
Paralysis In A Theatre
The Queerest Name
Church Keno
The Advent Preacher And The Balloon
The Cause Of Rheumatism
How A Grocery Man Was Maimed
Camp Meeting In The Dark Of The Moon
Another View Of The Cask
The Pious Deacon And The Worldly Cow
The Question Of Cats
The Knight And The Bridal Chamber
The House Girl Race
The Trouble Mr. Storey Has
Tragedy On The Stage
The Mistake About It
The Man From Dubuque
The Giddy Girls Quarrel
Don't Leave Your Gum Around.
The Way To Name Children
About Railroad Conductors
A Hot Box At A Picnic
Broke Up A Prayer Meeting
Shooting On Sunday, With The Mouth
A Washington Surprise Party
The Difference In Clothes
A Temperance Lecture That Hurt
Bravery Of Mrs. Garfield
Illustrating The Assassination
The Infidel And His Silver Mine
The Great Monopolies
Another Dead Failure
Our Blue-Coated Dog Poisoners
And He Rose Up And Spake
Got In The Wrong Pew
Palace Cattle Cars
Duck Or No Dinner
The Guinea Pig
Failure Of A Solid Institution