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Old Wives’ Tale, The
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER V - END OF CONSTANCE - PART III
Arnold Bennett
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       _ It was on a muddy day in October that the first great battle for
       and against Federation was fought in Bursley. Constance was
       suffering severely from sciatica. She was also suffering from
       disgust with the modern world.
       Unimaginable things had happened in the Square. For Constance, the
       reputation of the Square was eternally ruined. Charles Critchlow,
       by that strange good fortune which always put him in the right
       when fairly he ought to have been in the wrong, had let the Baines
       shop and his own shop and house to the Midland Clothiers Company,
       which was establishing branches throughout Staffordshire,
       Warwickshire, Leicestershire, and adjacent counties. He had sold
       his own chemist's stock and gone to live in a little house at the
       bottom of Kingstreet. It is doubtful whether he would have
       consented to retire had not Alderman Holl died earlier in the
       year, thus ending a long rivalry between the old men for the
       patriarchate of the Square. Charles Critchlow was as free from
       sentiment as any man, but no man is quite free from it, and the
       ancient was in a position to indulge sentiment had he chosen. His
       business was not a source of loss, and he could still trust his
       skinny hands and peering eyes to make up a prescription. However,
       the offer of the Midland Clothiers Company tempted him, and as the
       undisputed 'father' of the Square he left the Square in triumph.
       The Midland Clothiers Company had no sense of the proprieties of
       trade. Their sole idea was to sell goods. Having possessed
       themselves of one of the finest sites in a town which, after all
       was said and done, comprised nearly forty thousand inhabitants,
       they set about to make the best of that site. They threw the two
       shops into one, and they caused to be constructed a sign compared
       to which the spacious old 'Baines' sign was a postcard. They
       covered the entire frontage with posters of a theatrical
       description--coloured posters! They occupied the front page of the
       Signal, and from that pulpit they announced that winter was
       approaching, and that they meant to sell ten thousand overcoats at
       their new shop in Bursley at the price of twelve and sixpence
       each. The tailoring of the world was loudly and coarsely defied to
       equal the value of those overcoats. On the day of opening they
       arranged an orchestra or artillery of phonographs upon the leads
       over the window of that part of the shop which had been Mr.
       Critchlow's. They also carpeted the Square with handbills, and
       flew flags from their upper storeys. The immense shop proved to be
       full of overcoats; overcoats were shown in all the three great
       windows; in one window an overcoat was disposed as a receptacle
       for water, to prove that the Midland twelve-and-sixpenny overcoats
       were impermeable by rain. Overcoats flapped in the two doorways.
       These devices woke and drew the town, and the town found itself
       received by bustling male assistants very energetic and rapid,
       instead of by demure anaemic virgins. At moments towards evening
       the shop was populous with custom; the number of overcoats sold
       was prodigious. On another day the Midland sold trousers in a like
       manner, but without the phonographs. Unmistakably the Midland had
       shaken the Square and demonstrated that commerce was still
       possible to fearless enterprise.
       Nevertheless the Square was not pleased. The Square was conscious
       of shame, of dignity departed. Constance was divided between pain
       and scornful wrath. For her, what the Midland had done was to
       desecrate a shrine. She hated those flags, and those flaring,
       staring posters on the honest old brick walls, and the enormous
       gilded sign, and the windows all filled with a monotonous
       repetition of the same article, and the bustling assistants. As
       for the phonographs, she regarded them as a grave insult; they had
       been within twenty feet of her drawing-room window! Twelve-and-
       sixpenny overcoats! It was monstrous, and equally monstrous was
       the gullibility of the people. How could an overcoat at twelve and
       sixpence be 'good.' She remembered the overcoats made and sold in
       the shop in the time of her father and her husband, overcoats of
       which the inconvenience was that they would not wear out! The
       Midland, for Constance, was not a trading concern, but something
       between a cheap-jack and a circus. She could scarcely bear to walk
       down the Square, to such a degree did the ignoble frontage of the
       Midland offend her eye and outrage her ancestral pride. She even
       said that she would give up her house.
       But when, on the twenty-ninth of September, she received six
       months' notice, signed in Critchlow's shaky hand, to quit the
       house--it was wanted for the Midland's manager, the Midland having
       taken the premises on condition that they might eject Constance if
       they chose--the blow was an exceedingly severe one. She had sworn
       to go--but to be turned out, to be turned out of the house of her
       birth and out of her father's home, that was different! Her pride,
       injured as it was, had a great deal to support. It became
       necessary for her to recollect that she was a Baines. She affected
       magnificently not to care. But she could not refrain from telling
       all her acquaintances that she was being turned out of her house,
       and asking them what they thought of THAT; and when she met
       Charles Critchlow in the street she seared him with the heat of
       her resentment. The enterprise of finding a new house and moving
       into it loomed before her gigantic, terrible, the idea of it was
       alone sufficient to make her ill.
       Meanwhile, in the matter of Federation, preparations for the
       pitched battle had been going forward, especially in the columns
       of the Signal, where the scribes of each one of the Five Towns had
       proved that all the other towns were in the clutch of unscrupulous
       gangs of self-seekers. After months of argument and recrimination,
       all the towns except Bursley were either favourable or indifferent
       to the prospect of becoming a part of the twelfth largest town in
       the United Kingdom. But in Bursley the opposition was strong, and
       the twelfth largest town in the United Kingdom could not spring
       into existence without the consent of Bursley. The United Kingdom
       itself was languidly interested in the possibility of suddenly
       being endowed with a new town of a quarter of a million
       inhabitants. The Five Towns were frequently mentioned in the
       London dailies, and London journalists would write such sentences
       as: "The Five Towns, which are of course, as everybody knows,
       Hanbridge, Bursley, Knype, Longshaw, and Turnhill ... ." This was
       renown at last, for the most maligned district in the country! And
       then a Cabinet Minister had visited the Five Towns, and assisted
       at an official inquiry, and stated in his hammering style that he
       meant personally to do everything possible to accomplish the
       Federation of the Five Towns: an incautious remark, which
       infuriated, while it flattered, the opponents of Federation in
       Bursley. Constance, with many other sensitive persons, asked
       angrily what right a Cabinet Minister had to take sides in a
       purely local affair. But the partiality of the official world grew
       flagrant. The Mayor of Bursley openly proclaimed himself a
       Federationist, though there was a majority on the Council against
       him. Even ministers of religion permitted themselves to think and
       to express opinions. Well might the indignant Old Guard imagine
       that the end of public decency had come! The Federationists were
       very ingenious individuals. They contrived to enrol in their ranks
       a vast number of leading men. Then they hired the Covered Market,
       and put a platform in it, and put all these leading men on the
       platform, and made them all speak eloquently on the advantages of
       moving with the times. The meeting was crowded and enthusiastic,
       and readers of the Signal next day could not but see that the
       battle was won in advance, and that anti-Federation was dead. In
       the following week, however, the anti-Federationists held in the
       Covered Market an exactly similar meeting (except that the display
       of leading men was less brilliant), and demanded of a floor of
       serried heads whether the old Mother of the Five Towns was
       prepared to put herself into the hands of a crew of highly-paid
       bureaucrats at Hanbridge, and was answered by a wild defiant "No,"
       that could be heard on Duck Bank. Readers of the Signal next day
       were fain to see that the battle had not been won in advance.
       Bursley was lukewarm on the topics of education, slums, water,
       gas, electricity. But it meant to fight for that mysterious thing,
       its identity. Was the name of Bursley to be lost to the world? To
       ask the question was to give the answer.
       Then dawned the day of battle, the day of the Poll, when the
       burgesses were to indicate plainly by means of a cross on a voting
       paper whether or not they wanted Federation. And on this day
       Constance was almost incapacitated by sciatica. It was a heroic
       day. The walls of the town were covered with literature, and the
       streets dotted with motor-cars and other vehicles at the service
       of the voters. The greater number of these vehicles bore large
       cards with the words, "Federation this time." And hundreds of men
       walked briskly about with circular cards tied to their lapels, as
       though Bursley had been a race-course, and these cards too had the
       words, "Federation this time." (The reference was to a light poll
       which had been taken several years before, when no interest had
       been aroused and the immature project yet defeated by a six to one
       majority.) All partisans of Federation sported a red ribbon; all
       Anti-Federationists sported a blue ribbon. The schools were closed
       and the Federationists displayed their characteristic lack of
       scruple in appropriating the children. The Federationists, with
       devilish skill, had hired the Bursley Town Silver Prize Band, an
       organization of terrific respectability, and had set it to march
       playing through the town followed by wagonettes crammed with
       children, who sang:
       Vote, vote, vote for Federation, Don't be stupid, old and slow, We
       are sure that it will be Good for the communitie, So vote, vote,
       vote, and make it go.
       How this performance could affect the decision of grave burgesses
       at the polls was not apparent; but the Anti-Federationists feared
       that it might, and before noon was come they had engaged two bands
       and had composed in committee, the following lyric in reply to the
       first one:
       Down, down, down, with Federation, As we are we'd rather stay;
       When the vote on Saturday's read Federation will be dead, Good old
       Bursley's sure to win the day.
       They had also composed another song, entitled "Dear old Bursley,"
       which, however, they made the fatal error of setting to the music
       of "Auld Lang Syne." The effect was that of a dirge, and it
       perhaps influenced many voters in favour of the more cheerful
       party. The Anti-Federationists, indeed, never regained the mean
       advantage filched by unscrupulous Federationists with the help of
       the Silver Prize Band and a few hundred infants. The odds were
       against the Anti-Federationists. The mayor had actually issued a
       letter to the inhabitants accusing the Anti-Federationists of
       unfair methods! This was really too much! The impudence of it
       knocked the breath out of its victims, and breath is very
       necessary in a polling contest. The Federationists, as one of
       their prominent opponents admitted, 'had it all their own way,'
       dominating both the streets and the walls. And when, early in the
       afternoon, Mr. Dick Povey sailed over the town in a balloon that
       was plainly decorated with the crimson of Federation, it was felt
       that the cause of Bursley's separate identity was for ever lost.
       Still, Bursley, with the willing aid of the public-houses,
       maintained its gaiety. _
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Preface
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 1. The Square - Part 1
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 1. The Square - Part 2
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 1. The Square - Part 3
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 2. The Tooth - Part 1
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 2. The Tooth - Part 2
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 2. The Tooth - Part 3
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 3. A Battle - Part 1
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 3. A Battle - Part 2
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 3. A Battle - Part 3
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 3. A Battle - Part 4
Book 1. Mrs. Baines - Chapter 3. A Battle - Part 5
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER IV - ELEPHANT - PART I
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER IV - ELEPHANT - PART II
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER IV - ELEPHANT - PART III
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER IV - ELEPHANT - PART IV
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER V - THE TRAVELLER - PART I
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER V - THE TRAVELLER - PART II
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER V - THE TRAVELLER - PART III
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER V - THE TRAVELLER - PART IV
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER VI - ESCAPADE - PART I
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER VI - ESCAPADE - PART II
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER VI - ESCAPADE - PART III
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER VI - ESCAPADE - PART IV
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER VII - A DEFEAT - PART I
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER VII - A DEFEAT - PART II
BOOK I MRS. BAINES - CHAPTER VII - A DEFEAT - PART III
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER I - REVOLUTION - PART I
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER I - REVOLUTION - PART II
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER I - REVOLUTION - PART III
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER I - REVOLUTION - PART IV
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER II - CHRISTMAS AND THE FUTURE - PART I
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER II - CHRISTMAS AND THE FUTURE - PART II
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER II - CHRISTMAS AND THE FUTURE - PART III
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER II - CHRISTMAS AND THE FUTURE - PART IV
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER III - CYRIL - PART I
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER III - CYRIL - PART II
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER IV - CRIME - PART I
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER IV - CRIME - PART II
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER IV - CRIME - PART III
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER V - ANOTHER CRIME - PART I
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER V - ANOTHER CRIME - PART II
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER V - ANOTHER CRIME - PART III
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER V - ANOTHER CRIME - PART IV
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER V - ANOTHER CRIME - PART V
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER VI - THE WIDOW - PART I
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER VI - THE WIDOW - PART II
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER VI - THE WIDOW - PART III
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER VII - BRICKS AND MORTAR - PART I
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER VII - BRICKS AND MORTAR - PART II
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER VII - BRICKS AND MORTAR - PART III
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER VIII - THE PROUDEST MOTHER - PART I
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER VIII - THE PROUDEST MOTHER - PART II
BOOK II CONSTANCE - CHAPTER VIII - THE PROUDEST MOTHER - PART III
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER I - THE ELOPEMENT - PART I
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER I - THE ELOPEMENT - PART II
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER II - SUPPER - PART I
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER II - SUPPER - PART II
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER III - AN AMBITION SATISFIED - PART I
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER III - AN AMBITION SATISFIED - PART II
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER III - AN AMBITION SATISFIED - PART III
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER III - AN AMBITION SATISFIED - PART IV
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER IV - A CRISIS FOR GERALD - PART I
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER IV - A CRISIS FOR GERALD - PART II
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER IV - A CRISIS FOR GERALD - PART III
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER IV - A CRISIS FOR GERALD - PART IV
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER IV - A CRISIS FOR GERALD - PART V
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER V - FEVER - PART I
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER V - FEVER - PART II
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER V - FEVER - PART III
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER V - FEVER - PART IV
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER V - FEVER - PART V
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER VI - THE SIEGE - PART I
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER VI - THE SIEGE - PART II
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER VI - THE SIEGE - PART III
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER VI - THE SIEGE - PART IV
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER VI - THE SIEGE - PART V
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER VII - SUCCESS - PART I
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER VII - SUCCESS - PART II
BOOK III SOPHIA - CHAPTER VII - SUCCESS - PART III
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER I - FRENSHAM'S - PART I
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER I - FRENSHAM'S - PART II
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER I - FRENSHAM'S - PART III
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER I - FRENSHAM'S - PART IV
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER I - FRENSHAM'S - PART V
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER II THE MEETING - PART I
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER II THE MEETING - PART II
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER II THE MEETING - PART III
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER III TOWARDS HOTEL LIFE - PART I
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER III TOWARDS HOTEL LIFE - PART II
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER III TOWARDS HOTEL LIFE - PART III
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER III TOWARDS HOTEL LIFE - PART IV
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER III TOWARDS HOTEL LIFE - PART V
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER III TOWARDS HOTEL LIFE - PART VI
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER IV END OF SOPHIA - PART I
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER IV END OF SOPHIA - PART II
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER IV END OF SOPHIA - PART III
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER IV END OF SOPHIA - PART IV
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER V - END OF CONSTANCE - PART I
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER V - END OF CONSTANCE - PART II
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER V - END OF CONSTANCE - PART III
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER V - END OF CONSTANCE - PART IV
BOOK IV WHAT LIFE IS - CHAPTER V - END OF CONSTANCE - PART V