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Unsocial Socialist, An
CHAPTER XII
George Bernard Shaw
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       _
       CHAPTER XII
       On the following Thursday Gertrude, Agatha, and Jane met for the
       first time since they had parted at Alton College. Agatha was the
       shyest of the three, and externally the least changed. She
       fancied herself very different from the Agatha of Alton; but it
       was her opinion of herself that had altered, not her person.
       Expecting to find a corresponding alteration in her friends, she
       had looked forward to the meeting with much doubt and little hope
       of its proving pleasant.
       She was more anxious about Gertrude than about Jane, concerning
       whom, at a brief interview in London, she had already discovered
       that Lady Brandon's manner, mind, and speech were just what Miss
       Carpenter's had been. But, even from Agatha, Jane commanded more
       respect than before, having changed from an overgrown girl into a
       fine woman, and made a brilliant match in her first season,
       whilst many of her pretty, proud, and clever contemporaries, whom
       she had envied at school, were still unmarried, and were having
       their homes made uncomfortable by parents anxious to get rid of
       the burthen of supporting them, and to profit in purse or
       position by their marriages.
       This was Gertrude's case. Like Agatha, she had thrown away her
       matrimonial opportunities. Proud of her rank and exclusiveness,
       she had resolved to have as little as possible to do with persons
       who did not share both with her. She began by repulsing the
       proffered acquaintance of many families of great wealth and
       fashion, who either did not know their grandparents or were
       ashamed of them. Having shut herself out of their circle, she was
       presented at court, and thenceforth accepted the invitations of
       those only who had, in her opinion, a right to the same honor.
       And she was far stricter on that point than the Lord Chamberlain,
       who had, she held, betrayed his trust by practically turning
       Leveller. She was well educated, refined in her manners and
       habits, skilled in etiquette to an extent irritating to the
       ignorant, and gifted with a delicate complexion, pearly teeth,
       and a face that would have been Grecian but for a slight upward
       tilt of the nose and traces of a square, heavy type in the jaw.
       Her father was a retired admiral, with sufficient influence to
       have had a sinecure made by a Conservative government expressly
       for the maintenance of his son pending alliance with some
       heiress. Yet Gertrude remained single, and the admiral, who had
       formerly spent more money than he could comfortably afford on her
       education, and was still doing so upon her state and personal
       adornment, was complaining so unpleasantly of her failure to get
       taken off his hands, that she could hardly bear to live at home,
       and was ready to marry any thoroughbred gentleman, however
       unsuitable his age or character, who would relieve her from her
       humiliating dependence. She was prepared to sacrifice her natural
       desire for youth, beauty, and virtue in a husband if she could
       escape from her parents on no easier terms, but she was resolved
       to die an old maid sooner than marry an upstart.
       The difficulty in her way was pecuniary. The admiral was poor. He
       had not quite six thousand a year, and though he practiced the
       utmost economy in order to keep up the most expensive habits, he
       could not afford to give his daughter a dowry. Now the well born
       bachelors of her set, having more blue bood, but much less
       wealth, than they needed, admired her, paid her compliments,
       danced with her, but could not afford to marry her. Some of them
       even told her so, married rich daughters of tea merchants, iron
       founders, or successful stocktrokers, and then tried to make
       matches between her and their lowly born brothers-in-law.
       So, when Gertrude met Lady Brandon, her lot was secretly
       wretched, and she was glad to accept an invitation to Brandon
       Beeches in order to escape for a while from the admiral's daily
       sarcasms on the marriage list in the "Times." The invitation was
       the more acceptable because Sir Charles was no mushroom noble,
       and, in the schooldays which Gertrude now remembered as the
       happiest of her life, she had acknowledged that Jane's family and
       connections were more aristocratic than those of any other
       student then at Alton, herself excepted. To Agatha, whose
       grandfather had amassed wealth as a proprietor of gasworks
       (novelties in his time), she had never offered her intimacy.
       Agatha had taken it by force, partly moral, partly physical. But
       the gasworks were never forgotten, and when Lady Brandon
       mentioned, as a piece of delightful news, that she had found out
       their old school companion, and had asked her to join them,
       Gertrude was not quite pleased. Yet, when they met, her eyes were
       the only wet ones there, for she was the least happy of the
       three, and, though she did not know it, her spirit was somewhat
       broken. Agatha, she thought, had lost the bloom of girlhood, but
       was bolder, stronger, and cleverer than before. Agatha had, in
       fact, summoned all her self-possession to hide her shyness. She
       detected the emotion of Gertrude, who at the last moment did not
       try to conceal it. It would have been poured out freely in words,
       had Gertrude's social training taught her to express her feelings
       as well as it had accustomed her to dissemble them.
       "Do you remember Miss Wilson?" said Jane, as the three drove from
       the railway station to Brandon Beeches. "Do you remember Mrs.
       Miller and her cat? Do you remember the Recording Angel? Do you
       remember how I fell into the canal?"
       These reminiscences lasted until they reached the house and went
       together to Agatha's room. Here Jane, having some orders to give
       in the household, had to leave them--reluctantly; for she was
       jealous lest Gertrude should get the start of her in the renewal
       of Agatha's affection. She even tried to take her rival away with
       her; but in vain. Gertrude would not budge.
       "What a beautiful house and splendid place!" said Agatha when
       Jane was gone. "And what a nice fellow Sir Charles is! We used to
       laugh at Jane, but she can afford to laugh at the luckiest of us
       now. I always said she would blunder into the best of everything.
       Is it true that she married in her first season?"
       "Yes. And Sir Charles is a man of great culture. I cannot
       understand it. Her size is really beyond everything, and her
       manners are bad."
       "Hm!" said Agatha with a wise air. "There was always something
       about Jane that attracted men. And she is more knave than fool.
       But she is certainly a great ass."
       Gertrude looked serious, to imply that she had grown out of the
       habit of using or listening to such language. Agatha, stimulated
       by this, continued:
       "Here are you and I, who consider ourselves twice as presentable
       and conversable as she, two old maids." Gertrude winced, and
       Agatha hastened to add: "Why, as for you, you are perfectly
       lovely! And she has asked us down expressly to marry us."
       "She would not presume--"
       "Nonsense, my dear Gertrude. She thinks that we are a couple of
       fools who have mismanaged our own business, and that she, having
       managed so well for herself, can settle us in a jiffy. Come, did
       she not say to you, before I came, that it was time for me to be
       getting married?"
       "Well, she did. But--"
       "She said exactly the same thing to me about yon when she invited
       me."
       "I would leave her house this moment," said Gertrude, "if I
       thought she dared meddle in my affairs. What is it to her whether
       I am married or not?"
       "Where have you been living all these years, if you do not know
       that the very first thing a woman wants to do when she has made a
       good match is to make ones for all her spinster friends. Jane
       does not mean any harm. She does it out of pure benevolence."
       "I do not need Jane's benevolence."
       "Neither do I; but it doesn't do any harm, and she is welcome to
       amuse herself by trotting out her male acquaintances for my
       approval. Hush! Here she comes."
       Gertrude subsided. She could not quarrel with Lady Brandon
       without leaving the house, and she could not leave the house
       without returning to her home. But she privately resolved to
       discourage the attentions of Erskine, suspecting that instead of
       being in love with her as he pretended, he had merely been
       recommended by Jane to marry her.
       Chichester Erskine had made sketches in Palestine with Sir
       Charles, and had tramped with him through many European picture
       galleries. He was a young man of gentle birth, and had inherited
       fifteen hundred a year from his mother, the bulk of the family
       property being his elder brother's. Having no profession, and
       being fond of books and pictures, he had devoted himself to fine
       art, a pursuit which offered him on the cheapest terms a high
       opinion of the beauty and capacity of his own nature. He had
       published a tragedy entitled, "The Patriot Martyrs," with an
       etched frontispiece by Sir Charles, and an edition of it had been
       speedily disposed of in presentations to the friends of the
       artist and poet, and to the reviews and newspapers. Sir Charles
       had asked an eminent tragedian of his acquaintance to place the
       work on the stage and to enact one of the patriot martyrs. But
       the tragedian had objected that the other patriot martyrs had
       parts of equal importance to that proposed for him. Erskine had
       indignantly refused to cut these parts down or out, and so the
       project had fallen through.
       Since then Erskine had been bent on writing another drama,
       without regard to the exigencies of the stage, but he had not yet
       begun it, in consequence of his inspiration coming upon him at
       inconvenient hours, chiefly late at night, when he had been
       drinking, and had leisure for sonnets only. The morning air and
       bicycle riding were fatal to the vein in which poetry struck him
       as being worth writing. In spite of the bicycle, however, the
       drama, which was to be entitled "Hypatia," was now in a fair way
       to be written, for the poet had met and fallen in love with
       Gertrude Lindsay, whose almost Grecian features, and some
       knowledge of the different calculua which she had acquired at
       Alton, helped him to believe that she was a fit model for his
       heroine.
       When the ladies came downstairs they found their host and Erskine
       in the picture gallery, famous in the neighborhood for the sum it
       had cost Sir Charles. There was a new etching to be admired, and
       they were called on to observe what the baronet called its tones,
       and what Agatha would have called its degrees of smudginess. Sir
       Charles's attention often wandered from this work of art. He
       looked at his watch twice, and said to his wife:
       "I have ordered them to be punctual with the luncheon."
       "Oh, yes; it's all right," said Lady Brandon, who had given
       orders that luncheon was not to be served until the arrival of
       another gentleman. "Show Agatha the picture of the man in the--"
       "Mr. Trefusis," said a servant.
       Mr. Trefusis, still in snuff color, entered; coat unbuttoned and
       attention unconstrained; exasperatingly unconscious of any
       occasion for ceremony.
       "Here you are at last," said Lady Brandon. "You know everybody,
       don't you?"
       "How do you do?" said Sir Charles, offering his hand as a severe
       expression of his duty to his wife's guest, who took it
       cordially, nodded to Erskine, looked without recognition at
       Gertrude, whose frosty stillness repudiated Lady Brandon's
       implication that the stranger was acquainted with her, and turned
       to Agatha, to whom he bowed. She made no sign; she was paralyzed.
       Lady Brandon reddened with anger. Sir Charles noted his guest's
       reception with secret satisfaction, but shared the embarrassment
       which oppressed all present except Trefusis, who seemed quite
       indifferent and assured, and unconsciously produced an impression
       that the others had not been equal to the occasion, as indeed
       they had not.
       "We were looking at some etchings when you came in," said Sir
       Charles, hastening to break the silence. "Do you care for such
       things?" And he handed him a proof.
       Trefusis looked at it as if he had never seen such a thing before
       and did not quite know what to make of it. "All these scratches
       seem to me to have no meaning," he said dubiously.
       Sir Charles stole a contemptuous smile and significant glance at
       Erskine. He, seized already with an instinctive antipathy to
       Trefusis, said emphatically:
       "There is not one of those scratches that has not a meaning."
       "That one, for instance, like the limb of a daddy-long-legs. What
       does that mean?"
       Erskine hesitated a moment; recovered himself; and said:
       "Obviously enough--to me at least--it indicates the marking of
       the roadway."
       "Not a bit of it," said Trefusis. "There never was such a mark as
       that on a road. It may be a very bad attempt at a briar, but
       briars don't straggle into the middle of roads frequented as that
       one seems to be--judging by those overdone ruts." He put the
       etching away, showing no disposition to look further into the
       portfolio, and remarked, "The only art that interests me is
       photography."
       Erskine and Sir Charles again exchanged glances, and the former
       said:
       "Photography is not an art in the sense in which I understand the
       term. It is a process."
       "And a much less troublesome and more perfect process than that,"
       said Trefusis, pointing to the etching. "The artists are sticking
       to the old barbarous, difficult, and imperfect processes of
       etching and portrait painting merely to keep up the value of
       their monopoly of the required skill. They have left the new,
       more complexly organized, and more perfect, yet simple and
       beautiful method of photography in the hands of tradesmen,
       sneering at it publicly and resorting to its aid surreptitiously.
       The result is that the tradesmen are becoming better artists than
       they, and naturally so; for where, as in photography, the drawing
       counts for nothing, the thought and judgment count for
       everything; whereas in the etching and daubing processes, where
       great manual skill is needed to produce anything that the eye can
       endure, the execution counts for more than the thought, and if a
       fellow only fit to carry bricks up a ladder or the like has
       ambition and perseverance enough to train his hand and push into
       the van, you cannot afford to put him back into his proper place,
       because thoroughly trained hands are so scarce. Consider the
       proof of this that you have in literature. Our books are manually
       the work of printers and papermakers; you may cut an author's
       hand off and he is as good an author as before. What is the
       result? There is more imagination in any number of a penny
       journal than in half-a-dozen of the Royal Academy rooms in the
       season. No author can live by his work and be as empty-headed as
       an average successful painter. Again, consider our implements of
       music--our pianofortes, for example. Nobody but an acrobat will
       voluntarily spend years at such a difficult mechanical puzzle as
       the keyboard, and so we have to take our impressions of
       Beethoven's sonatas from acrobats who vie with each other in the
       rapidity of their prestos, or the staying power of their left
       wrists. Thoughtful men will not spend their lives acquiring
       sleight-of-hand. Invent a piano which will respond as delicately
       to the turning of a handle as our present ones do to the pressure
       of the fingers, and the acrobats will be driven back to their
       carpets and trapezes, because the sole faculty necessary to the
       executant musician will be the musical faculty, and no other will
       enable him to obtain a hearing."
       The company were somewhat overcome by this unexpected lecture.
       Sir Charles, feeling that such views bore adversely on him, and
       were somehow iconoclastic and low-lived, was about to make a
       peevish retort, when Erskine forestalled him by asking Trefusis
       what idea he had formed of the future of the arts. He replied
       promptly. "Photography perfected in its recently discovered power
       of reproducing color as well as form! Historical pictures
       replaced by photographs of tableaux vivants formed and arranged
       by trained actors and artists, and used chiefly for the
       instruction of children. Nine-tenths of painting as we understand
       it at present extinguished by the competition of these
       photographs, and the remaining tenth only holding its own against
       them by dint of extraordinary excellence! Our mistuned and
       unplayable organs and pianofortes replaced by harmonious
       instruments, as manageable as barrel organs! Works of fiction
       superseded by interesting company and conversation, and made
       obsolete by the human mind outgrowing the childishness that
       delights in the tales told by grownup children such as novelists
       and their like! An end to the silly confusion, under the one name
       of Art, of the tomfoolery and make-believe of our play-hours with
       the higher methods of teaching men to know themselves! Every
       artist an amateur, and a consequent return to the healthy old
       disposition to look on every man who makes art a means of
       money-getting as a vagabond not to be entertained as an equal by
       honest men!"
       "In which case artists will starve, and there will be no more
       art."
       "Sir," said Trefusis, excited by the word, "I, as a Socialist,
       can tell you that starvation is now impossible, except where, as
       in England, masterless men are forcibly prevented from producing
       the food they need. And you, as an artist, can tell me that at
       present great artists invariably do starve, except when they are
       kept alive by charity, private fortune, or some drudgery which
       hinders them in the pursuit of their vocation."
       "Oh!" said Erskine. "Then Socialists have some little sympathy
       with artists after all."
       "I fear," said Trefusis, repressing himself and speaking quietly
       again, "that when a Socialist hears of a hundred pounds paid for
       a drawing which Andrea del Sarto was glad to sell for tenpence,
       his heart is not wrung with pity for the artist's imaginary loss
       as that of a modern capitalist is. Yet that is the only way
       nowadays of enlisting sympathy for the old masters. Frightful
       disability, to be out of the reach of the dearest market when you
       want to sell your drawings! But," he added, giving himself a
       shake, and turning round gaily, "I did not come here to talk
       shop. So--pending the deluge--let us enjoy ourselves after our
       manner."
       "No," said Jane. "Please go on about Art. It's such a relief to
       hear anyone talking sensibly about it. I hate etching. It makes
       your eyes sore--at least the acid gets into Sir Charles's, and
       the difference between the first and second states is nothing but
       imagination, except that the last state is worse than the--here's
       luncheon!"
       They went downstairs then. Trefusis sat between Agatha and Lady
       Brandon, to whom he addressed all his conversation. They chatted
       without much interruption from the business of the table; for
       Jane, despite her amplitude, had a small appetite, and was
       fearful of growing fat; whilst Trefusis was systematically
       abstemious. Sir Charles was unusually silent. He was afraid to
       talk about art, lest he should be contradicted by Trefusis, who,
       he already felt, cared less and perhaps knew more about it than
       he. Having previously commented to Agatha on the beauty of the
       ripening spring, and inquired whether her journey had fatigued
       her, he had said as much as he could think of at a first meeting.
       For her part, she was intent on Trefusis, who, though he must
       know, she thought, that they were all hostile to him except Jane,
       seemed as confident now as when he had befooled her long ago.
       That thought set her teeth on edge. She did not doubt the
       sincerity of her antipathy to him even when she detected herself
       in the act of protesting inwardly that she was not glad to meet
       him again, and that she would not speak to him. Gertrude,
       meanwhile, was giving short answers to Erskine and listening to
       Trefusis. She had gathered from the domestic squabbles of the
       last few days that Lady Brandon, against her husband's will, had
       invited a notorious demagogue, the rich son of a successful
       cotton-spinner, to visit the Beeches. She had made up her mind to
       snub any such man. But on recognizing the long-forgotten Smilash,
       she had been astonished, and had not known what to do. So, to
       avoid doing anything improper, she had stood stilly silent and
       done nothing, as the custom of English ladies in such cases is.
       Subsequently, his unconscious self-assertion had wrought with her
       as with the others, and her intention of snubbing him had faded
       into the limbo of projects abandoned without trial. Erskine alone
       was free from the influence of the intruder. He wished himself
       elsewhere; but beside Gertrude the presence or absence of any
       other person troubled him very little.
       "How are the Janseniuses?" said Trefusis, suddenly turning to
       Agatha.
       "They are quite well, thank you," she said in measured tones.
       "I met John Jansenius in the city lately. You know Jansenius?" he
       added parenthetically to Sir Charles. "Cotman's bank--the last
       Cotman died out of the firm before we were born. The Chairman of
       the Transcanadian Railway Company."
       "I know the name. I am seldom in the city."
       "Naturally," assented Trefusis; "for who would sadden himself by
       pushing his way through a crowd of such slaves, if he could help
       it? I mean slaves of Mammon, of course. To run the gauntlet of
       their faces in Cornhill is enough to discourage a thoughtful man
       for hours. Well, Jansenius, being high in the court of Mammon, is
       looking out for a good post in the household for his son.
       Jansenius, by-the-bye is Miss Wylie's guardian and the father of
       my late wife."
       Agatha felt inclined to deny this; but, as it was true, she had
       to forbear. Resolved to show that the relations between her
       family and Trefusis were not cordial ones, she asked
       deliberately, "Did Mr. Jansenius speak to you?"
       Gertrude looked up, as if she thought this scarcely ladylike.
       "Yes," said Trefusis. "We are the best friends in the world--as
       good as possible, at any rate. He wanted me to subscribe to a
       fund for relieving the poor at the east end of London by
       assisting them to emigrate."
       "I presume you subscribed liberally," said Erskine. "It was an
       opportunity of doing some practical good."
       "I did not," said Trefusis, grinning at the sarcasm. "This
       Transcanadian Railway Company, having got a great deal of spare
       land from the Canadian government for nothing, thought it would
       be a good idea to settle British workmen on it and screw rent out
       of them. Plenty of British workmen, supplanted in their
       employment by machinery, or cheap foreign labor, or one thing or
       another, were quite willing to go; but as they couldn't afford to
       pay their passages to Canada, the Company appealed to the
       benevolent to pay for them by subscription, as the change would
       improve their miserable condition. I did not see why I should pay
       to provide a rich company with tenant farmers, and I told
       Jansenius so. He remarked that when money and not talk was
       required, the workmen of England soon found out who were their
       real friends."
       "I know nothing about these questions," said Sir Charles, with an
       air of conclusiveness; "but I see no objection to emigration" The
       fact is," said Trefusis, "the idea of emigration is a dangerous
       one for us. Familiarize the workman with it, and some day he may
       come to see what a capital thing it would be to pack off me, and
       you, with the peerage, and the whole tribe of unprofitable
       proprietors such as we are, to St. Helena; making us a handsome
       present of the island by way of indemnity! We are such a
       restless, unhappy lot, that I doubt whether it would not prove a
       good thing for us too. The workmen would lose nothing but the
       contemplation of our elegant persons, exquisite manners, and
       refined tastes. They might provide against that loss by picking
       out a few of us to keep for ornament's sake. No nation with a
       sense of beauty would banish Lady Brandon, or Miss Lindsay, or
       Miss Wylie."
       "Such nonsense!" said Jane.
       "You would hardly believe how much I have spent in sending
       workmen out of the country against my own view of the country's
       interest," continued Trefusis, addressing Erskine. "When I make a
       convert among the working classes, the first thing he does is to
       make a speech somewhere declaring his new convictions. His
       employer immediately discharges him--'gives him the sack' is the
       technical phrase. The sack is the sword of the capitalist, and
       hunger keeps it sharp for him. His shield is the law, made for
       the purpose by his own class. Thus equipped, he gives the worst
       of it to my poor convert, who comes ruined to me for assistance.
       As I cannot afford to pension him for life, I get rid of him by
       assisting him to emigrate. Sometimes he prospers and repays me;
       sometimes I hear no more of him; sometimes he comes back with his
       habits unsettled. One man whom I sent to America made his
       fortune, but he was not a social democrat; he was a clerk who had
       embezzled, and who applied to me for assistance under the
       impression that I considered it rather meritorious to rob the
       till of a capitalist."
       "He was a practical Socialist, in fact," said Erskine.
       "On the contrary, he was a somewhat too grasping Individualist.
       Howbeit, I enabled him to make good his defalcation--in the city
       they consider a defalcation made good when the money is
       replaced--and to go to New York. I recommended him not to go
       there; but he knew better than I, for he made a fortune by
       speculating with money that existed only in the imagination of
       those with whom he dealt. He never repaid me; he is probably far
       too good a man of business to pay money that cannot be extracted
       from him by an appeal to the law or to his commercial credit. Mr.
       Erskine," added Trefusis, lowering his voice, and turning to the
       poet, "you are wrong to take part with hucksters and
       money-hunters against your own nature, even though the attack
       upon them is led by a man who prefers photography to etching."
       "But I assure you--You quite mistake me," said Erskine, taken
       aback. "I--"
       He stopped,looked to Sir Charles for support, and then said
       airily: "I don't doubt that you are quite right. I hate business
       and men of business; and as to social questions, I have only one
       article of belief, which is, that the sole refiner of human
       nature is fine art."
       "Whereas I believe that the sole refiner of art is human nature.
       Art rises when men rise, and grovels when men grovel. What is
       your opinion?"
       "I agree with you in many ways," replied Sir Charles nervously;
       for a lack of interest in his fellow-creatures, and an excess of
       interest in himself, had prevented him from obtaining that power
       of dealing with social questions which, he felt, a baronet ought
       to possess, and he was consequently afraid to differ from anyone
       who alluded to them with confidence. "If you take an interest in
       art, I believe I can show you a few things worth seeing."
       "Thank you. In return I will some day show you a remarkable
       collection of photographs I possess; many of them taken by me. I
       venture to think they will teach you something."
       "No doubt," said Sir Charles. "Shall we return to the gallery? I
       have a few treasures there that photography is not likely to
       surpass for some time yet."
       "Let's go through the conservatory," said Jane. "Don't you like
       flowers, Mr. Smi--I never can remember your proper name."
       "Extremely," said Trefusis.
       They rose and went out into a long hothouse. Here Lady Brandon,
       finding Erskine at her side, and Sir Charles before her with
       Gertrude, looked round for Trefusis, with whom she intended to
       enjoy a trifling flirtation under cover of showing him the
       flowers. He was out of sight; but she heard his footsteps in the
       passage on the opposite side of the greenhouse. Agatha was also
       invisible. Jane, not daring to rearrange their procession lest
       her design should become obvious, had to walk on with Erskine.
       Agatha had turned unintentionally into the opposite alley to that
       which the others had chosen. When she saw what she had done, and
       found herself virtually alone with Trefusis, who had followed
       her, she blamed him for it, and was about to retrace her steps
       when he said coolly:
       "Were you shocked when you heard of Henrietta's sudden death?"
       Agatha struggled with herself for a moment, and then said in a
       suppressed voice: "How dare you speak to me?"
       "Why not?" said he, astonished.
       "I am not going to enter into a discussion with you. You know
       what I mean very well."
       "You mean that you are offended with me; that is plain enough.
       But when I part with a young lady on good terms, and after a
       lapse of years, during which we neither meet nor correspond, she
       asks me how I dare speak to her, I am naturally startled."
       "We did not part on good terms."
       Trefusis stretched his eyebrows, as if to stretch his memory. "If
       not," he said, "I have forgotten it, on my honor. When did we
       part, and what happened? It cannot have been anything very
       serious, or I should remember it."
       His forgetfulness wounded Agatha. "No doubt you are well
       accustomed to--" She checked herself, and made a successful
       snatch at her normal manner with gentlemen. "I scarcely remember
       what it was, now that I begin to think. Some trifle, I suppose.
       Do you like orchids?"
       "They have nothing to do with our affairs at present. You are not
       in earnest about the orchids, and you are trying to run away from
       a mistake instead of clearing it up. That is a short-sighted
       policy, always."
       Agatha grew alarmed, for she felt his old influence over her
       returning. "I do not wish to speak of it," she said firmly.
       Her firmness was lost on him. "I do not even know what it means
       yet," he said, "and I want to know, for I believe there is some
       misunderstanding between us, and it is the trick of your sex to
       perpetuate misunderstandings by forbidding all allusions to them.
       Perhaps, leaving Lyvern so hastily, I forgot to fulfil some
       promise, or to say farewell, or something of that sort. But do
       you know how suddenly I was called away? I got a telegram to say
       that Henrietta was dying, and I had only time to change my
       clothes--you remember my disguise--and catch the express. And,
       after all, she was dead when I arrived."
       "I know that," said Agatha uneasily. "Please say no more about
       it."
       "Not if it distresses you. Just let me hope that you did not
       suppose I blamed you for your share in the matter or that I told
       the Janseniuses of it. I did not. Yes, I like orchids. A plant
       that can subsist on a scrap of board is an instance of natural
       econ--"
       "YOU blame ME!" cried Agatha. "_I_ never told the Janseniuses.
       What would they have thought of you if I had?"
       "Far worse of you than of me, however unjustly. You were the
       immediate cause of the tragedy; I only the remote one. Jansenius
       is not far-seeing when his feelings are touched. Few men are."
       "I don't understand you in the least. What tragedy do you mean?"
       "Henrietta's death. I call it a tragedy conventionally.
       Seriously, of course, it was commonplace enough."
       Agatha stopped and faced him. "What do you mean by what you said
       just now? You said that I was the immediate cause of the tragedy,
       and you say that you were talking of Henrietta's--of Henrietta. I
       had nothing to do with her illness."
       Trefusis looked at her as if considering whether he would go any
       further. Then, watching her with the curiosity of a vivisector,
       he said: "Strange to say, Agatha," (she shrank proudly at the
       word), "Henrietta might have been alive now but for you. I am
       very glad she is not; so you need not reproach yourself on my
       account. She died of a journey she made to Lyvern in great
       excitement and distress, and in intensely cold weather. You
       caused her to make that journey by writing her a letter which
       made her jealous."
       "Do you mean to accuse me--"
       "No; stop!" he said hastily, the vivisecting spirit in him
       exorcised by her shaking voice; "I accuse you of nothing. Why do
       you not speak honestly to me when you are at your ease? If you
       confess your real thoughts only under torture, who can resist the
       temptation to torture you? One must charge you with homicide to
       make you speak of anything but orchids."
       But Agatha had drawn the new inference from the old facts, and
       would not be talked out of repudiating it. "It was not my fault,"
       she said. "It was yours--altogether yours."
       "Altogether," he assented, relieved to find her indignant instead
       of remorseful.
       She was not to be soothed by a verbal acquiescence. "Your
       behavior was most unmanly, and I told you so, and you could not
       deny it. You pretended that you--You pretended to have
       feelings--You tried to make me believe that Oh, I am a fool to
       talk to you; you know perfectly well what I mean."
       "Perfectly. I tried to make you believe that I was in love with
       you. How do you know I was not?"
       She disdained to answer; but as he waited calmly she said, "You
       had no right to be."
       "That does not prove that I was not. Come, Agatha, you pretended
       to like me when you did not care two straws about me. You
       confessed as much in that fatal letter, which I have somewhere at
       home. It has a great rent right across it, and the mark of her
       heel; she must have stamped on it in her rage, poor girl! So that
       I can show your own hand for the very deception you accused
       me--without proof--of having practiced on you."
       "You are clever, and can twist things. What pleasure does it give
       you to make me miserable?"
       "Ha!" he exclaimed, in an abrupt, sardonic laugh. "I don't know;
       you bewitch me, I think."
       Agatha made no reply, but walked on quickly to the end of the
       conservatory, where the others were waiting for them.
       "Where have you been, and what have you been doing all this
       time?" said Jane, as Trefusis came up, hurrying after Agatha. "I
       don't know what you call it, but I call it perfectly
       disgraceful!"
       Sir Charles reddened at his wife's bad taste, and Trefusis
       replied gravely: "We have been admiring the orchids, and talking
       about them. Miss Wylie takes an interest in them."
       Content of CHAPTER XII [George Bernard Shaw's novel: An Unsocial Socialist]
       _