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Unsocial Socialist, An
CHAPTER X
George Bernard Shaw
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       CHAPTER X
       The remains of Henrietta Trefusis were interred in Highgate
       Cemetery the day before Christmas Eve. Three noblemen sent their
       carriages to the funeral, and the friends and clients of Mr.
       Jansenius, to a large number, attended in person. The bier was
       covered with a profusion of costly Bowers. The undertaker,
       instructed to spare no expense, provided long-tailed black
       horses, with black palls on their backs and black plumes upon
       their foreheads; coachmen decorated with scarves and jack-boots,
       black hammercloths, cloaks, and gloves, with many hired mourners,
       who, however, would have been instantly discharged had they
       presumed to betray emotion, or in any way overstep their function
       of walking beside the hearse with brass-tipped batons in their
       hands.
       Among the genuine mourners were Mr. Jansenius, who burst into
       tears at the ceremony of casting earth on the coffin; the boy
       Arthur, who, preoccupied by the novelty of appearing in a long
       cloak at the head of a public procession, felt that he was not so
       sorry as he ought to be when he saw his papa cry; and a cousin
       who had once asked Henrietta to marry him, and who now, full of
       tragic reflections, was enjoying his despair intensely.
       The rest whispered, whenever they could decently do so, about a
       strange omission in the arrangements. The husband of the deceased
       was absent. Members of the family and intimate friends were told
       by Daniel Jansenius that the widower had acted in a blackguard
       way, and that the Janseniuses did not care two-pence whether he
       came or stayed at home; that, but for the indecency of the thing,
       they were just as glad that he was keeping away. Others, who had
       no claim to be privately informed, made inquiries of the
       undertaker's foreman, who said he understood the gentleman
       objected to large funerals. Asked why, he said he supposed it was
       on the ground of expense. This being met by a remark that Mr.
       Trefusis was very wealthy, he added that he had been told so, but
       believed the money had not come from the lady; that people seldom
       cared to go to a great expense for a funeral unless they came
       into something good by the death; and that some parties the more
       they had the more they grudged. Before the funeral guests
       dispersed, the report spread by Mr. Jansenius's brother had got
       mixed with the views of the foreman, and had given rise to a
       story of Trefusis expressing joy at his wife's death with
       frightful oaths in her father's house whilst she lay dead there,
       and refusing to pay a farthing of her debts or funeral expenses.
       Some days later, when gossip on the subject was subsiding, a
       fresh scandal revived it. A literary friend of Mr. Jansenius's
       helped him to compose an epitaph, and added to it a couple of
       pretty and touching stanzas, setting forth that Henrietta's
       character had been one of rare sweetness and virtue, and that her
       friends would never cease to sorrow for her loss. A tradesman who
       described himself as a "monumental mason" furnished a book of
       tomb designs, and Mr. Jansenius selected a highly ornamental one,
       and proposed to defray half the cost of its erection. Trefusis
       objected that the epitaph was untrue, and said that he did not
       see why tombstones should be privileged to publish false
       statements. It was reported that he had followed up his former
       misconduct by calling his father-in-law a liar, and that he had
       ordered a common tombstone from some cheap-jack at the East-end.
       He had, in fact, spoken contemptuously of the monumental
       tradesman as an "exploiter" of labor, and had asked a young
       working mason, a member of the International Association, to
       design a monument for the gratification of Jansenius.
       The mason, with much pains and misgiving, produced an original
       design. Trefusis approved of it, and resolved to have it executed
       by the hands of the designer. He hired a sculptor's studio,
       purchased blocks of marble of the dimensions and quality
       described to him by the mason, and invited him to set to work
       forthwith.
       Trefusis now encountered a difficulty. He wished to pay the mason
       the just value of his work, no more and no less. But this he
       could not ascertain. The only available standard was the market
       price, and this he rejected as being fixed by competition among
       capitalists who could only secure profit by obtaining from their
       workmen more products than they paid them for, and could only
       tempt customers by offering a share of the unpaid-for part of the
       products as a reduction in price. Thus he found that the system
       of withholding the indispensable materials for production and
       subsistence from the laborers, except on condition of their
       supporting an idle class whilst accepting a lower standard of
       comfort for themselves than for that idle class, rendered the
       determination of just ratios of exchange, and consequently the
       practice of honest dealing, impossible. He had at last to ask the
       mason what he would consider fair payment for the execution of
       the design, though he knew that the man could no more solve the
       problem than he, and that, though he would certainly ask as much
       as he thought he could get, his demand must be limited by his
       poverty and by the competition of the monumental tradesman.
       Trefusis settled the matter by giving double what was asked, only
       imposing such conditions as were necessary to compel the mason to
       execute the work himself, and not make a profit by hiring other
       men at the market rate of wages to do it.
       But the design was, to its author's astonishment, to be paid for
       separately. The mason, after hesitating a long time between
       two-pounds-ten and five pounds, was emboldened by a
       fellow-workman, who treated him to some hot whiskey and water, to
       name the larger sum. Trefusis paid the money at once, and then
       set himself to find out how much a similar design would have cost
       from the hands of an eminent Royal Academician. Happening to know
       a gentleman in this position, he consulted him, and was informed
       that the probable cost would be from five hundred to one thousand
       pounds. Trefusis expressed his opinion that the mason's charge
       was the more reasonable, somewhat to the indignation of his
       artist friend, who reminded him of the years which a Royal
       Academician has to spend in acquiring his skill. Trefusis
       mentioned that the apprenticeship of a mason was quite as long,
       twice as laborious, and not half so pleasant. The artist now
       began to find Trefusis's Socialistic views, with which he had
       previously fancied himself in sympathy, both odious and
       dangerous. He demanded whether nothing was to be allowed for
       genius. Trefusis warmly replied that genius cost its possessor
       nothing; that it was the inheritance of the whole race
       incidentally vested in a single individual, and that if that
       individual employed his monopoly of it to extort money from
       others, he deserved nothing better than hanging. The artist lost
       his temper, and suggested that if Trefusis could not feel that
       the prerogative of art was divine, perhaps he could understand
       that a painter was not such a fool as to design a tomb for five
       pounds when he might be painting a portrait for a thousand.
       Trefusis retorted that the fact of a man paying a thousand pounds
       for a portrait proved that he had not earned the money, and was
       therefore either a thief or a beggar. The common workman who
       sacrificed sixpence from his week's wages for a cheap photograph
       to present to his sweet. heart, or a shilling for a pair of
       chromolithographic pictures or delft figures to place on his
       mantelboard, suffered greater privation for the sake of
       possessing a work of art than the great landlord or shareholder
       who paid a thousand pounds, which he was too rich to miss, for a
       portrait that, like Hogarth's Jack Sheppard, was only interesting
       to students of criminal physiognomy. A lively quarrel ensued,
       Trefusis denouncing the folly of artists in fancying themselves a
       priestly caste when they were obviously only the parasites and
       favored slaves of the moneyed classes, and his friend
       (temporarily his enemy) sneering bitterly at levellers who were
       for levelling down instead of levelling up. Finally, tired of
       disputing, and remorseful for their acrimony, they dined amicably
       together.
       The monument was placed in Highgate Cemetery by a small band of
       workmen whom Trefusis found out of employment. It bore the
       following inscription:
       THIS IS THE MONUMENT OF HENRIETTA JANSENIUS WHO WAS BORN ON THE
       26TH JULY, 1856, MARRIED TO SIDNEY TREFUSIS ON THE 23RD AUGUST,
       1875, AND WHO DIED ON THE 21ST DECEMBER IN THE SAME YEAR.
       Mr. Jansenius took this as an insult to his daughter's memory,
       and, as the tomb was much smaller than many which had been
       erected in the cemetery by families to whom the Janseniuses
       claimed superiority, cited it as an example of the widower's
       meanness. But by other persons it was so much admired that
       Trefusis hoped it would ensure the prosperity of its designer.
       The contrary happened. When the mason attempted to return to his
       ordinary work he was informed that he had contravened trade
       usage, and that his former employers would have nothing more to
       say to him. On applying for advice and assistance to the
       trades-union of which he was a member he received the same reply,
       and was further reproached for treachery to his fellow-workmen.
       He returned to Trefusis to say that the tombstone job had ruined
       him. Trefusis, enraged, wrote an argumentative letter to the
       "Times," which was not inserted, a sarcastic one to the
       trades-union, which did no good, and a fierce one to the
       employers, who threatened to take an action for libel. He had to
       content himself with setting the man to work again on
       mantelpieces and other decorative stone-work for use in house
       property on the Trefusis estate. In a year or two his liberal
       payments enabled the mason to save sufficient to start as an
       employer, in which capacity he soon began to grow rich, as he
       knew by experience exactly how much his workmen could be forced
       to do, and how little they could be forced to take. Shortly after
       this change in his circumstances he became an advocate of thrift,
       temperance, and steady industry, and quitted the International
       Association, of which he had been an enthusiastic supporter when
       dependent on his own skill and taste as a working mason.
       During these occurrences Agatha's school-life ended. Her
       resolution to study hard during another term at the college had
       been formed, not for the sake of becoming learned, but that she
       might become more worthy of Smilash; and when she learned the
       truth about him from his own lips, the idea of returning to the
       scene of that humiliation became intolerable to her. She left
       under the impression that her heart was broken, for her smarting
       vanity, by the law of its own existence, would not perceive that
       it was the seat of the injury. So she bade Miss Wilson adieu; and
       the bee on the window pane was heard no more at Alton College.
       The intelligence of Henrietta's death shocked her the more
       because she could not help being glad that the only other person
       who knew of her folly with regard to Smilash (himself excepted)
       was now silenced forever. This seemed to her a terrible discovery
       of her own depravity. Under its influence she became almost
       religious, and caused some anxiety about her health to her
       mother, who was puzzled by her unwonted seriousness, and, in
       particular, by her determination not to speak of the misconduct
       of Trefusis, which was now the prevailing topic of conversation
       in the family. She listened in silence to gossiping discussions
       of his desertion of his wife, his heartless indifference to her
       decease, his violence and bad language by her deathbed, his
       parsimony, his malicious opposition to the wishes of the
       Janseniuses, his cheap tombstone with the insulting epitaph, his
       association with common workmen and low demagogues, his suspected
       connection with a secret society for the assassination of the
       royal family and blowing up of the army, his atheistic denial, in
       a pamphlet addressed to the clergy, of a statement by the
       Archbishop of Canterbury that spiritual aid alone could improve
       the condition of the poor in the East-end of London, and the
       crowning disgrace of his trial for seditious libel at the Old
       Bailey, where he was condemned to six months' imprisonment; a
       penalty from which he was rescued by the ingenuity of his
       counsel, who discovered a flaw in the indictment, and succeeded,
       at great cost to Trefusis, in getting the sentence quashed.
       Agatha at last got tired of hearing of his misdeeds. She believed
       him to be heartless, selfish, and misguided, but she knew that he
       was not the loud, coarse, sensual, and ignorant brawler most of
       her mother's gossips supposed him to be. She even felt, in spite
       of herself, an emotion of gratitude to the few who ventured to
       defend him.
       Preparation for her first season helped her to forget her
       misadventure. She "came out" in due time, and an extremely dull
       season she found it. So much so, that she sometimes asked herself
       whether she should ever be happy again. At the college there had
       been good fellowship, fun, rules, and duties which were a source
       of strength when observed and a source of delicious excitement
       when violated, freedom from ceremony, toffee making, flights on
       the banisters, and appreciative audiences for the soldier in the
       chimney.
       In society there were silly conversations lasting half a minute,
       cool acquaintanceships founded on such half-minutes, general
       reciprocity of suspicion, overcrowding, insufficient ventilation,
       bad music badly executed, late hours, unwholesome food,
       intoxicating liquors, jealous competition in useless expenditure,
       husband-hunting, flirting, dancing, theatres, and concerts. The
       last three, which Agatha liked, helped to make the contrast
       between Alton and London tolerable to her, but they had their
       drawbacks, for good partners at the dances, and good performances
       at the spiritless opera and concerts, were disappointingly
       scarce. Flirting she could not endure; she drove men away when
       they became tender, seeing in them the falsehood of Smilash
       without his wit. She was considered rude by the younger gentlemen
       of her circle. They discussed her bad manners among themselves,
       and agreed to punish her by not asking her to dance. She thus got
       rid, without knowing why, of the attentions she cared for least
       (she retained a schoolgirl's cruel contempt for "boys"), and
       enjoyed herself as best she could with such of the older or more
       sensible men as were not intolerant of girls.
       At best the year was the least happy she had ever spent. She
       repeatedly alarmed her mother by broaching projects of becoming a
       hospital nurse, a public singer, or an actress. These projects
       led to some desultory studies. In order to qualify herself as a
       nurse she read a handbook of physiology, which Mrs. Wylie thought
       so improper a subject for a young lady that she went in tears to
       beg Mrs. Jansenius to remonstrate with her unruly girl. Mrs.
       Jansenius, better advised, was of opinion that the more a woman
       knew the more wisely she was likely to act, and that Agatha would
       soon drop the physiology of her own accord. This proved true.
       Agatha, having finished her book by dint of extensive skipping,
       proceeded to study pathology from a volume of clinical lectures.
       Finding her own sensations exactly like those described in the
       book as symptoms of the direst diseases, she put it by in alarm,
       and took up a novel, which was free from the fault she had found
       in the lectures, inasmuch as none of the emotions it described in
       the least resembled any she had ever experienced.
       After a brief interval, she consulted a fashionable teacher of
       singing as to whether her voice was strong enough for the
       operatic stage. He recommended her to study with him for six
       years, assuring her that at the end of that period--if she
       followed his directions--she should be the greatest singer in the
       world. To this there was, in her mind, the conclusive objection
       that in six years she should be an old woman. So she resolved to
       try privately whether she could not get on more quickly by
       herself. Meanwhile, with a view to the drama in case her operatic
       scheme should fail, she took lessons in elocution and gymnastics.
       Practice in these improved her health and spirits so much that
       her previous aspirations seemed too limited. She tried her hand
       at all the arts in succession, but was too discouraged by the
       weakness of her first attempts to persevere. She knew that as a
       general rule there are feeble and ridiculous beginnings to all
       excellence, but she never applied general rules to her own case,
       still thinking of herself as an exception to them, just as she
       had done when she romanced about Smilash. The illusions of
       adolescence were thick upon her.
       Meanwhile her progress was creating anxieties in which she had no
       share. Her paroxysms of exhilaration, followed by a gnawing sense
       of failure and uselessness, were known to her mother only as
       "wildness" and "low spirits," to be combated by needlework as a
       sedative, or beef tea as a stimulant. Mrs. Wylie had learnt by
       rote that the whole duty of a lady is to be graceful, charitable,
       helpful, modest, and disinterested whilst awaiting passively
       whatever lot these virtues may induce. But she had learnt by
       experience that a lady's business in society is to get married,
       and that virtues and accomplishments alike are important only as
       attractions to eligible bachelors. As this truth is shameful,
       young ladies are left for a year or two to find it out for
       themselves; it is seldom explicitly conveyed to them at their
       entry into society. Hence they often throw away capital bargains
       in their first season, and are compelled to offer themselves at
       greatly reduced prices subsequently,when their attractions begin
       to stale. This was the fate which Mrs. Wylie, warned by Mrs.
       Jansenius, feared for Agatha, who, time after time when a callow
       gentleman of wealth and position was introduced to her, drove him
       brusquely away as soon as he ventured to hint that 200
       his affections were concerned in their acquaintanceship. The
       anxious mother had to console herself with the fact that her
       daughter drove away the ineligible as ruthlessly as the eligible,
       formed no unworldly attachments, was still very young, and would
       grow less coy as she advanced in years and in what Mrs. Jansenius
       called sense.
       But as the seasons went by it remained questionable whether
       Agatha was the more to be congratulated on having begun life
       after leaving school or Henrietta on having finished it.
       Content of CHAPTER X [George Bernard Shaw's novel: An Unsocial Socialist]
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