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The American Claimant
CHAPTER VIII
Mark Twain
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       _ "GOD bless my soul, Hawkins!"
       The morning paper dropped from the Colonel's nerveless-grasp.
       "What is it?"
       "He's gone!--the bright, the young, the gifted, the noblest of his
       illustrious race--gone! gone up in flames and unimaginable glory!"
       "Who?"
       "My precious, precious young kinsman--Kirkcudbright Llanover Marjoribanks
       Sellers Viscount Berkeley, son and heir of usurping Rossmore."
       "No!"
       "It's true--too true."
       "When?"
       "Last night."
       "Where?"
       "Right here in Washington; where he arrived from England last night, the
       papers say."
       "You don't say!"
       "Hotel burned down."
       "What hotel?"
       "The New Gadsby!"
       "Oh, my goodness! And have we lost both of them?"
       "Both who?"
       "One-Arm Pete."
       "Oh, great guns, I forgot all about him. Oh, I hope not."
       "Hope! Well, I should say! Oh, we can't spare him! We can better
       afford to lose a million viscounts than our only support and stay."
       They searched the paper diligently, and were appalled to find that a one-
       armed man had been seen flying along one of the halls of the hotel in his
       underclothing and apparently out of his head with fright, and as he would
       listen to no one and persisted in making for a stairway which would carry
       him to certain death, his case was given over as a hopeless one.
       "Poor fellow," sighed Hawkins; "and he had friends so near. I wish we
       hadn't come away from there-maybe we could have saved him."
       The earl looked up and said calmly:
       "His being dead doesn't matter. He was uncertain before. We've got him
       sure, this time."
       "Got him? How?"
       "I will materialize him."
       "Rossmore, don't--don't trifle with me. Do you mean that? Can you do
       it?"
       "I can do it, just as sure as you are sitting there. And I will."
       "Give me your hand, and let me have the comfort of shaking it. I was
       perishing, and you have put new life into me. Get at it, oh, get at it
       right away."
       "It will take a little time, Hawkins, but there's no hurry, none in the
       world--in the circumstances. And of course certain duties have devolved
       upon me now, which necessarily claim my first attention. This poor young
       nobleman--"
       "Why, yes, I am sorry for my heartlessness, and you smitten with this new
       family affliction. Of course you must materialize him first--I quite
       understand that."
       "I--I--well, I wasn't meaning just that, but,--why, what am I thinking
       of! Of course I must materialize him. Oh, Hawkins, selfishness is the
       bottom trait in human nature; I was only thinking that now, with the
       usurper's heir out of the way But you'll forgive that momentary weakness,
       and forget it. Don't ever remember it against me that Mulberry Sellers
       was once mean enough to think the thought that I was thinking. I'll
       materialise him--I will, on my honor--and I'd do it were he a thousand
       heirs jammed into one and stretching in a solid rank from here to the
       stolen estates of Rossmore, and barring the road forever to the rightful
       earl!
       "There spoke the real Sellers--the other had a false ring, old friend."
       "Hawkins, my boy, it just occurs to me--a thing I keep forgetting to
       mention-a matter that we've got to be mighty careful about."
       "What is that?"
       "We must keep absolutely still about these materializations. Mind, not a
       hint of them must escape--not a hint. To say nothing of how my wife and
       daughter--high-strung, sensitive organizations--might feel about them,
       the negroes wouldn't stay on the place a minute."
       "That's true, they wouldn't. It's well you spoke, for I'm not naturally
       discreet with my tongue when I'm not warned."
       Sellers reached out and touched a bell-button in the wall; set his eye
       upon the rear door and waited; touched it again and waited; and just as
       Hawkins was remarking admiringly that the Colonel was the most
       progressive and most alert man he had ever seen, in the matter of
       impressing into his service every modern convenience the moment it was
       invented, and always keeping breast to breast with the drum major in the
       great work of material civilization, he forsook the button (which hadn't
       any wire attached to it,) rang a vast dinner bell which stood on the
       table, and remarked that he had tried that new-fangled dry battery, now,
       to his entire satisfaction, and had got enough of it; and added:
       "Nothing would do Graham Bell but I must try it; said the mere fact of my
       trying it would secure public confidence, and get it a chance to show
       what it could do. I told him that in theory a dry battery was just a
       curled darling and no mistake, but when it come to practice, sho!--and
       here's the result. Was I right? What should you say, Washington
       Hawkins? You've seen me try that button twice. Was I right?--that's the
       idea. Did I know what I was talking about, or didn't I?"
       "Well, you know how I feel about you, Colonel Sellers, and always have
       felt. It seems to me that you always know everything about everything.
       If that man had known you as I know you he would have taken your judgment
       at the start, and dropped his dry battery where it was."
       "Did you ring, Marse Sellers?"
       "No, Marse Sellers didn't."
       "Den it was you, Marse Washington. I's heah, suh."
       "No, it wasn't Marse Washington, either."
       "De good lan'! who did ring her, den?"
       "Lord Rossmore rang it!"
       The old negro flung up his hands and exclaimed:
       "Blame my skin if I hain't gone en forgit dat name agin! Come heah,
       Jinny--run heah, honey."
       Jinny arrived.
       "You take dish-yer order de lord gwine to give you I's gwine down suller
       and study dat name tell I git it."
       "I take de order! Who's yo' nigger las' year? De bell rung for you."
       "Dat don't make no diffunce. When a bell ring for anybody, en old
       marster tell me to--"
       "Clear out, and settle it in the kitchen!"
       The noise of the quarreling presently sank to a murmur in the distance,
       and the earl added: "That's a trouble with old house servants that were
       your slaves once and have been your personal friends always."
       "Yes, and members of the family."
       "Members of the family is just what they become--THE members of the
       family, in fact. And sometimes master and mistress of the household.
       These two are mighty good and loving and faithful and honest, but hang
       it, they do just about as they please, they chip into a conversation
       whenever they want to, and the plain fact is, they ought to be killed."
       It was a random remark, but it gave him an idea--however, nothing could
       happen without that result.
       "What I wanted, Hawkins, was to send for the family and break the news to
       them."
       "O, never mind bothering with the servants, then. I will go and bring
       them down."
       While he was gone, the earl worked his idea.
       "Yes," he said to himself, "when I've got the materializing down to a
       certainty, I will get Hawkins to kill them, and after that they will be
       under better control. Without doubt a materialized negro could easily be
       hypnotized into a state resembling silence. And this could be made
       permanent--yes, and also modifiable, at will--sometimes very silent,
       sometimes turn on more talk, more action, more emotion, according to what
       you want. It's a prime good idea. Make it adjustable--with a screw or
       something."
       The two ladies entered, now, with Hawkins, and the two negroes followed,
       uninvited, and fell to brushing and dusting around, for they perceived
       that there was matter of interest to the fore, and were willing to find
       out what it was.
       Sellers broke the, news with stateliness and ceremony, first warning the
       ladies, with gentle art, that a pang of peculiar sharpness was about to
       be inflicted upon their hearts--hearts still sore from a like hurt, still
       lamenting a like loss--then he took the paper, and with trembling lips
       and with tears in his voice he gave them that heroic death-picture.
       The result was a very genuine outbreak of sorrow and sympathy from all
       the hearers. The elder lady cried, thinking how proud that great-hearted
       young hero's mother would be, if she were living, and how unappeasable
       her grief; and the two old servants cried with her, and spoke out their
       applauses and their pitying lamentations with the eloquent sincerity and
       simplicity native to their race. Gwendolen was touched, and the romantic
       side of her nature was strongly wrought upon. She said that such a
       nature as that young man's was rarely and truly noble, and nearly
       perfect; and that with nobility of birth added it was entirely perfect.
       For such a man she could endure all things, suffer all things, even to
       the sacrificing of her life. She wished she could have seen him; the
       slightest, the most momentary, contact with such a spirit would have
       ennobled her own character and made ignoble thoughts and ignoble acts
       thereafter impossible to her forever.
       "Have they found the body, Rossmore?" asked the wife.
       "Yes, that is, they've found several. It must be one of them, but none
       of them are recognizable."
       "What are you going to do?"
       "I am going down there and identify one of them and send it home to the
       stricken father."
       "But papa, did you ever see the young man?"
       "No, Gwendolen-why?"
       "How will you identify it?"
       "I--well, you know it says none of them are recognizable. I'll send his
       father one of them--there's probably no choice."
       Gwendolen knew it was not worth while to argue the matter further, since
       her father's mind was made up and there was a chance for him to appear
       upon that sad scene down yonder in an authentic and official way. So she
       said no more--till he asked for a basket.
       "A basket, papa? What for?"
       "It might be ashes." _