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Narrative of A. Gordon Pym
CHAPTER 3
Edgar Allan Poe
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       _ THE thought instantly occurred to me that the paper was a note
       from Augustus, and that some unaccountable accident having happened
       to prevent his relieving me from my dungeon, he had devised this
       method of acquainting me with the true state of affairs. Trembling
       with eagerness, I now commenced another search for my phosphorus
       matches and tapers. I had a confused recollection of having put them
       carefully away just before falling asleep; and, indeed, previously to
       my last journey to the trap, I had been able to remember the exact
       spot where I had deposited them. But now I endeavored in vain to call
       it to mind, and busied myself for a full hour in a fruitless and
       vexatious search for the missing articles; never, surely, was there a
       more tantalizing state of anxiety and suspense. At length, while
       groping about, with my head close to the ballast, near the opening of
       the box, and outside of it, I perceived a faint glimmering of light
       in the direction of the steerage. Greatly surprised, I endeavored to
       make my way toward it, as it appeared to be but a few feet from my
       position. Scarcely had I moved with this intention, when I lost sight
       of the glimmer entirely, and, before I could bring it into view
       again, was obliged to feel along by the box until I had exactly
       resumed my original situation. Now, moving my head with caution to
       and fro, I found that, by proceeding slowly, with great care, in an
       opposite direction to that in which I had at first started, I was
       enabled to draw near the light, still keeping it in view. Presently I
       came directly upon it (having squeezed my way through innumerable
       narrow windings), and found that it proceeded from some fragments of
       my matches lying in an empty barrel turned upon its side. I was
       wondering how they came in such a place, when my hand fell upon two
       or three pieces of taper wax, which had been evidently mumbled by the
       dog. I concluded at once that he had devoured the whole of my supply
       of candles, and I felt hopeless of being ever able to read the note
       of Augustus. The small remnants of the wax were so mashed up among
       other rubbish in the barrel, that I despaired of deriving any service
       from them, and left them as they were. The phosphorus, of which there
       was only a speck or two, I gathered up as well as I could, and
       returned with it, after much difficulty, to my box, where Tiger had
       all the while remained.
       What to do next I could not tell. The hold was so intensely dark
       that I could not see my hand, however close I would hold it to my
       face. The white slip of paper could barely be discerned, and not even
       that when I looked at it directly; by turning the exterior portions
       of the retina toward it- that is to say, by surveying it slightly
       askance, I found that it became in some measure perceptible. Thus the
       gloom of my prison may be imagined, and the note of my friend, if
       indeed it were a note from him, seemed only likely to throw me into
       further trouble, by disquieting to no purpose my already enfeebled
       and agitated mind. In vain I revolved in my brain a multitude of
       absurd expedients for procuring light- such expedients precisely as a
       man in the perturbed sleep occasioned by opium would be apt to fall
       upon for a similar purpose- each and all of which appear by turns to
       the dreamer the most reasonable and the most preposterous of
       conceptions, just as the reasoning or imaginative faculties flicker,
       alternately, one above the other. At last an idea occurred to me
       which seemed rational, and which gave me cause to wonder, very
       justly, that I had not entertained it before. I placed the slip of
       paper on the back of a book, and, collecting the fragments of the
       phosphorus matches which I had brought from the barrel, laid them
       together upon the paper. I then, with the palm of my hand, rubbed the
       whole over quickly, yet steadily. A clear light diffused itself
       immediately throughout the whole surface; and had there been any
       writing upon it, I should not have experienced the least difficulty,
       I am sure, in reading it. Not a syllable was there, however- nothing
       but a dreary and unsatisfactory blank; the illumination died away in
       a few seconds, and my heart died away within me as it went.
       I have before stated more than once that my intellect, for some
       period prior to this, had been in a condition nearly bordering on
       idiocy. There were, to be sure, momentary intervals of perfect
       sanity, and, now and then, even of energy; but these were few. It
       must be remembered that I had been, for many days certainly, inhaling
       the almost pestilential atmosphere of a close hold in a whaling
       vessel, and for a long portion of that time but scantily supplied
       with water. For the last fourteen or fifteen hours I had none- nor
       had I slept during that time. Salt provisions of the most exciting
       kind had been my chief, and, indeed, since the loss of the mutton, my
       only supply of food, with the exception of the sea-biscuit; and these
       latter were utterly useless to me, as they were too dry and hard to
       be swallowed in the swollen and parched condition of my throat. I was
       now in a high state of fever, and in every respect exceedingly ill.
       This will account for the fact that many miserable hours of
       despondency elapsed after my last adventure with the phosphorus,
       before the thought suggested itself that I had examined only one side
       of the paper. I shall not attempt to describe my feelings of rage
       (for I believe I was more angry than any thing else) when the
       egregious oversight I had committed flashed suddenly upon my
       perception. The blunder itself would have been unimportant, had not
       my own folly and impetuosity rendered it otherwise- in my
       disappointment at not finding some words upon the slip, I had
       childishly torn it in pieces and thrown it away, it was impossible to
       say where.
       From the worst part of this dilemma I was relieved by the
       sagacity of Tiger. Having got, after a long search, a small piece of
       the note, I put it to the dog's nose, and endeavored to make him
       understand that he must bring me the rest of it. To my astonishment,
       (for I had taught him none of the usual tricks for which his breed
       are famous,) he seemed to enter at once into my meaning, and,
       rummaging about for a few moments, soon found another considerable
       portion. Bringing me this, he paused awhile, and, rubbing his nose
       against my hand, appeared to be waiting for my approval of what he
       had done. I patted him on the head, when he immediately made off
       again. It was now some minutes before he came back- but when he did
       come, he brought with him a large slip, which proved to be all the
       paper missing- it having been torn, it seems, only into three pieces.
       Luckily, I had no trouble in finding what few fragments of the
       phosphorus were left- being guided by the indistinct glow one or two
       of the particles still emitted. My difficulties had taught me the
       necessity of caution, and I now took time to reflect upon what I was
       about to do. It was very probable, I considered, that some words were
       written upon that side of the paper which had not been examined- but
       which side was that? Fitting the pieces together gave me no clew in
       this respect, although it assured me that the words (if there were
       any) would be found all on one side, and connected in a proper
       manner, as written. There was the greater necessity of ascertaining
       the point in question beyond a doubt, as the phosphorus remaining
       would be altogether insufficient for a third attempt, should I fail
       in the one I was now about to make. I placed the paper on a book as
       before, and sat for some minutes thoughtfully revolving the matter
       over in my mind. At last I thought it barely possible that the
       written side might have some unevenness on its surface, which a
       delicate sense of feeling might enable me to detect. I determined to
       make the experiment and passed my finger very carefully over the side
       which first presented itself. Nothing, however, was perceptible, and
       I turned the paper, adjusting it on the book. I now again carried my
       forefinger cautiously along, when I was aware of an exceedingly
       slight, but still discernable glow, which followed as it proceeded.
       This, I knew, must arise from some very minute remaining particles of
       the phosphorus with which I had covered the paper in my previous
       attempt. The other, or under side, then, was that on which lay the
       writing, if writing there should finally prove to be. Again I turned
       the note, and went to work as I had previously done. Having rubbed in
       the phosphorus, a brilliancy ensued as before- but this time several
       lines of MS. in a large hand, and apparently in red ink, became
       distinctly visible. The glimmer, although sufficiently bright, was
       but momentary. Still, had I not been too greatly excited, there would
       have been ample time enough for me to peruse the whole three
       sentences before me- for I saw there were three. In my anxiety,
       however, to read all at once, I succeeded only in reading the seven
       concluding words, which thus appeared- "blood- your life depends upon
       lying close."
       Had I been able to ascertain the entire contents of the note-the
       full meaning of the admonition which my friend had thus attempted to
       convey, that admonition, even although it should have revealed a
       story of disaster the most unspeakable, could not, I am firmly
       convinced, have imbued my mind with one tithe of the harrowing and
       yet indefinable horror with which I was inspired by the fragmentary
       warning thus received. And "blood," too, that word of all words- so
       rife at all times with mystery, and suffering, and terror- how trebly
       full of import did it now appear- how chilly and heavily (disjointed,
       as it thus was, from any foregoing words to qualify or render it
       distinct) did its vague syllables fall, amid the deep gloom of my
       prison, into the innermost recesses of my soul!
       Augustus had, undoubtedly, good reasons for wishing me to remain
       concealed, and I formed a thousand surmises as to what they could be-
       but I could think of nothing affording a satisfactory solution of the
       mystery. Just after returning from my last journey to the trap, and
       before my attention had been otherwise directed by the singular
       conduct of Tiger, I had come to the resolution of making myself heard
       at all events by those on board, or, if I could not succeed in this
       directly, of trying to cut my way through the orlop deck. The half
       certainty which I felt of being able to accomplish one of these two
       purposes in the last emergency, had given me courage (which I should
       not otherwise have had) to endure the evils of my situation. The few
       words I had been able to read, however, had cut me off from these
       final resources, and I now, for the first time, felt all the misery
       of my fate. In a paroxysm of despair I threw myself again upon the
       mattress, where, for about the period of a day and night, I lay in a
       kind of stupor, relieved only by momentary intervals of reason and
       recollection.
       At length I once more arose, and busied myself in reflection
       upon the horrors which encompassed me. For another twenty-four hours
       it was barely possible that I might exist without water- for a longer
       time I could not do so. During the first portion of my imprisonment I
       had made free use of the cordials with which Augustus had supplied
       me, but they only served to excite fever, without in the least degree
       assuaging thirst. I had now only about a gill left, and this was of a
       species of strong peach liqueur at which my stomach revolted. The
       sausages were entirely consumed; of the ham nothing remained but a
       small piece of the skin; and all the biscuit, except a few fragments
       of one, had been eaten by Tiger. To add to my troubles, I found that
       my headache was increasing momentarily, and with it the species of
       delirium which had distressed me more or less since my first falling
       asleep. For some hours past it had been with the greatest difficulty
       I could breathe at all, and now each attempt at so doing was attended
       with the most depressing spasmodic action of the chest. But there was
       still another and very different source of disquietude, and one,
       indeed, whose harassing terrors had been the chief means of arousing
       me to exertion from my stupor on the mattress. It arose from the
       demeanor of the dog.
       I first observed an alteration in his conduct while rubbing in
       the phosphorus on the paper in my last attempt. As I rubbed, he ran
       his nose against my hand with a slight snarl; but I was too greatly
       excited at the time to pay much attention to the circumstance. Soon
       afterward, it will be remembered, I threw myself on the mattress, and
       fell into a species of lethargy. Presently I became aware of a
       singular hissing sound close at my ears, and discovered it to proceed
       from Tiger, who was panting and wheezing in a state of the greatest
       apparent excitement, his eyeballs flashing fiercely through the
       gloom. I spoke to him, when he replied with a low growl, and then
       remained quiet. Presently I relapsed into my stupor, from which I was
       again awakened in a similar manner. This was repeated three or four
       times, until finally his behaviour inspired me with so great a degree
       of fear, that I became fully aroused. He was now lying close by the
       door of the box, snarling fearfully, although in a kind of undertone,
       and grinding his teeth as if strongly convulsed. I had no doubt
       whatever that the want of water or the confined atmosphere of the
       hold had driven him mad, and I was at a loss what course to pursue. I
       could not endure the thought of killing him, yet it seemed absolutely
       necessary for my own safety. I could distinctly perceive his eyes
       fastened upon me with an expression of the most deadly animosity, and
       I expected every instant that he would attack me. At last I could
       endure my terrible situation no longer, and determined to make my way
       from the box at all hazards, and dispatch him, if his opposition
       should render it necessary for me to do so. To get out, I had to pass
       directly over his body, and he already seemed to anticipate my
       design--missing himself upon his fore-legs (as I perceived by the
       altered position of his eyes), and displayed the whole of his white
       fangs, which were easily discernible. I took the remains of the
       ham-skin, and the bottle containing the liqueur, and secured them
       about my person, together with a large carving-knife which Augustus
       had left me- then, folding my cloak around me as closely as possible,
       I made a movement toward the mouth of the box. No sooner did I do
       this, than the dog sprang with a loud growl toward my throat. The
       whole weight of his body struck me on the right shoulder, and I fell
       violently to the left, while the enraged animal passed entirely over
       me. I had fallen upon my knees, with my head buried among the
       blankets, and these protected me from a second furious assault,
       during which I felt the sharp teeth pressing vigorously upon the
       woollen which enveloped my neck- yet, luckily, without being able to
       penetrate all the folds. I was now beneath the dog, and a few moments
       would place me completely in his power. Despair gave me strength, and
       I rose boldly up, shaking him from me by main force, and dragging
       with me the blankets from the mattress. These I now threw over him,
       and before he could extricate himself, I had got through the door and
       closed it effectually against his pursuit. In this struggle, however,
       I had been forced to drop the morsel of ham-skin, and I now found my
       whole stock of provisions reduced to a single gill of liqueur. As
       this reflection crossed my mind, I felt myself actuated by one of
       those fits of perverseness which might be supposed to influence a
       spoiled child in similar circumstances, and, raising the bottle to my
       lips, I drained it to the last drop, and dashed it furiously upon the
       floor.
       Scarcely had the echo of the crash died away, when I heard my
       name pronounced in an eager but subdued voice, issuing from the
       direction of the steerage. So unexpected was anything of the kind,
       and so intense was the emotion excited within me by the sound, that I
       endeavoured in vain to reply. My powers of speech totally failed, and
       in an agony of terror lest my friend should conclude me dead, and
       return without attempting to reach me, I stood up between the crates
       near the door of the box, trembling convulsively, and gasping and
       struggling for utterance. Had a thousand words depended upon a
       syllable, I could not have spoken it. There was a slight movement now
       audible among the lumber somewhere forward of my station. The sound
       presently grew less distinct, then again less so, and still less.
       Shall I ever forget my feelings at this moment? He was going- my
       friend, my companion, from whom I had a right to expect so much- he
       was going- he would abandon me- he was gone! He would leave me to
       perish miserably, to expire in the most horrible and loathesome of
       dungeons- and one word, one little syllable, would save me- yet that
       single syllable I could not utter! I felt, I am sure, more than ten
       thousand times the agonies of death itself. My brain reeled, and I
       fell, deadly sick, against the end of the box.
       As I fell the carving-knife was shaken out from the waist-band
       of my pantaloons, and dropped with a rattling sound to the floor.
       Never did any strain of the richest melody come so sweetly to my
       ears! With the intensest anxiety I listened to ascertain the effect
       of the noise upon Augustus- for I knew that the person who called my
       name could be no one but himself. All was silent for some moments. At
       length I again heard the word "Arthur!" repeated in a low tone, and
       one full of hesitation. Reviving hope loosened at once my powers of
       speech, and I now screamed at the top of my voice, "Augustus! oh,
       Augustus!" "Hush! for God's sake be silent!" he replied, in a voice
       trembling with agitation; "I will be with you immediately- as soon as
       I can make my way through the hold." For a long time I heard him
       moving among the lumber, and every moment seemed to me an age. At
       length I felt his hand upon my shoulder, and he placed, at the same
       moment, a bottle of water to my lips. Those only who have been
       suddenly redeemed from the jaws of the tomb, or who have known the
       insufferable torments of thirst under circumstances as aggravated as
       those which encompassed me in my dreary prison, can form any idea of
       the unutterable transports which that one long draught of the richest
       of all physical luxuries afforded.
       When I had in some degree satisfied my thirst, Augustus produced
       from his pocket three or four boiled potatoes, which I devoured with
       the greatest avidity. He had brought with him a light in a dark
       lantern, and the grateful rays afforded me scarcely less comfort than
       the food and drink. But I was impatient to learn the cause of his
       protracted absence, and he proceeded to recount what had happened on
       board during my incarceration.
       ~~~ End of Text of Chapter 3 ~~~ _