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Essay(s) by Robert Cortes Holliday
An Old Fogy
Robert Cortes Holliday
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       Mr. Deats, senior, is an old fogy. There is no doubt about that. In early life Mr. Deats, sr., had a pretty hard time. He was denied the advantages of any particular schooling. In consequence of this, Mr. Deats now occasionally uses very mortifying English. At an early age--somewhere about the age of ten--he entered trade. A ridiculous combination of adverse circumstances made it impossible for Mr. Deats to go much into polite society. In consequence of this, he unfortunately lacks polish. For a great number of years the world was not kind to him. It may have been trouble that destroyed his beauty. At any rate, Mr. Deats is not a handsome man. Not being able to do anything better, he confined his attention to doing his duty; that is not a very brilliant employment, it is true, but it was good enough for Mr. Deats.
       In the course of time, Mr. Deats took to himself a wife; and, in the course of time again, this wife bore Mr. Deats a son--and died simultaneously. Well, Mr. Deats was left with a boy, and this boy must have something to start him on in life. "How can a boy start life with nothing?" thought Mr. Deats; and very rightly, too. One can't feed, clothe, and educate a boy on nothing. So Mr. Deats did his duty harder than ever; and he built up a business. Building up a business doesn't require culture or intelligence; but it does take some time. Mr. Deats has grown a trifle old in the building; but it is a good business. It has been said that Mr. Deats' business is one of the best in the city. And Mr. Deats has a fine son. After the manner of his class, Mr. Deats believed that all the things that were denied him were the very best things for his son. His son should not have to work as his father did--and he doesn't.
       Mr. Deats, jr., has had advantages; he is a college graduate, a member of clubs, and one of the prominent young men of the city socially. Of course, being much cleverer, young Deats sees many of the mistakes his father made in life. He sees, for one thing, what an old fogy is Mr. Deats, sr. He sees how much better the business could be run. Mr. Deats, sr., does not know how to run a business; he is not modern enough. Still, he thinks he knows it all--that is the way with these bull-headed old codgers--and won't let young Deats conduct the business as it should be conducted. This, naturally, is very irritating to young Deats. No man enjoys seeing his own business go to rack and ruin. But the old man can't be kicked plump out into the street. He has no home but with young Deats. And, in a way, he is useful about the office; though even were he not, he must be humored. After all, he is the father of young Deats, and blood is thicker than water.
       [The end]
       Robert Cortes Holliday's essay: Old Fogy
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"You Are An American"
As To Office Boys
As To People
Bachelor Reminiscences
Barber Shops Awesome
Bidding Mr. Chesterton Good-Bye
The Case Of Mr. Woolen
Caun't Speak The Language
A Clerk May Look At A Celebrity
Connubial Felicity
A Conqueror's Attack
Cramis, Patron Of Art
The Deceased
The Dessert Of Life
A Dip Into The Underworld
Epilogue: On Wearing A Hat
Every Inch A Man
Fame: A Story Of American Literature
The Fish Reporter
The Forgetful Tailor
Former Tenant Of His Room
Fragrant With Perfume
A Friend, Indeed
Going To Art Exhibitions
The Hair Cut That Went To My Head
Hair That Is Scenery
Help Wanted--Male, Female
Henry James, Himself
His Business Is Good
The Hotel Guest
A Human Cash Register
Human Municipal Documents
A Humorist Misfits At A Murder Trial
A Humorist's Note-Book
Humours Op The Book Shop
Hunting Lodgings
I Know An Editor
Ida's Amazing Surprise
An Idiosyncrasy
Including Studies Of Traffic "Cops"
It Stands To Reason
Literary Levities In Londow
Literary Lives
Memories Of A Manuscript
Much Married Stratford
My Friend, The Policeman
A Nice Man
A Nice Taste In Murders
No Snob
No System At All To The Human System
Nosing 'round Washington
Not Gullible, Not He
An Old Fogy
On Going A Journey
Only She Was There
Our Last Social Engagement As A Fine Art
Our Steeplejack Of The Seven Arts
Prologue: On Carrying A Cane
Queer Thing, 'bout Undertakers' Shops
Reading After Thirty
Recollections Of Landladies
A Roundabout Paper
Seeing Mr. Chesterton
Seeing The "Situations Wanted" Scene
The Sexless Camera
Snapshots In X-Ray
So Very Theatrical
Taking The Air In San Francisco
Talk At The Post Office
A Testimonial
That Reviewer "Cuss"
Three Words About Literature
A Three-Ringed Circus
A Town Constitutional
The Unusualness Of Parisian Philadelphia
When Is A Great City A Small Village?
When The Train Comes In
Why Men Can't Read Novels By Women
Wouldn't Look At Him
Writing In Rooms