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Essay(s) by Robert Cortes Holliday
Cramis, Patron Of Art
Robert Cortes Holliday
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       "Have you got any tobacco?" I inquired of Cramis.
       "Sure," he replied, "I'm never without it."
       He is a slave to the weed, a hopeless smoker. He hands me his pouch; the tobacco is a little old and mildewed. When Cramis comes to visit me he always brings a most disreputable looking pipe along in his mouth, charred and cold. This he calls attention to, musingly, as it were, by remarking that "that looks natural."
       "I shouldn't have known you without it," I answer. Then we are the best of friends. An old Swede, an engineer of some rare sort, a whimsical fellow, quite a character--Cramis is greatly interested in characters--was much addicted to his pipe (so runs Cramis's story). It was a limb of his body. He was one of those inveterate smokers that you find here and there about the world. One day placards announcing that smoking was prohibited among employees in the building were posted at conspicuous places in the mill where Olie was employed. Olie went on smoking. The manager came through; he paused at Olie.
       "Look-a-here," he said, "don't you see that sign? No smoking among employees in this building." Olie slowly took the pipe from his mouth, regarding it thoughtfully in his out-stretched hand as he blew a great cloud of blue smoke.
       "Where my pipe goes," he said, replacing it between his teeth, "I goes." You may notice it: there is something of the same idiosyncrasy between that picturesque character and Cramis.
       For all the idler and the dilettante that he is, no man ever more conscientiously attended to business than Cramis. He is at it early and late. He is very successful. Yet he knows himself to be an impractical cuss, a dreamer, an æsthetic visionary. No man so thoroughly reliable was ever before so irresponsible.
       On his visits at my place, Cramis writes a great quantity of letters. All globe trotters do this, I suppose, whether it is necessary or not. It is only natural. If Cramis did not, many of his friends would not, no doubt, be aware that he was in Connecticut, or, indeed, that he ever got off the island of Manhattan.
       Though Cramis is by nature shrewd, saving, and methodically economical, he is very careless about money. He has no more idea of the value of it than Oliver Goldsmith. It is pitiful--yet lovable.
       Among Cramis's curious circle of acquaintances--his collection of acquaintances is a regular menagerie, as he so often says--was a painter, a fellow twenty-four years old and with nobody to support him. Cramis believed, after carefully inquiring, that the fellow had talent and might amount to something. He loaned him money. The scoundrel squandered it, probably; at any rate, he bought no fame with it. That was a year ago, and Cramis is eight dollars out of pocket. Still, his heart is a brother to genius. He consulted me on the question of the very least amount upon which a man could live, the length of time at the smallest estimate wherein he could reasonably be expected to attain greatness, and was for setting the fellow up in a studio elsewhere. I pointed out to Cramis that it might possibly be years before the hungry man became famous, and he abandoned the idea. It was too great a risk.
       [The end]
       Robert Cortes Holliday's essay: Cramis, Patron Of Art
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本书目录

"You Are An American"
As To Office Boys
As To People
Bachelor Reminiscences
Barber Shops Awesome
Bidding Mr. Chesterton Good-Bye
The Case Of Mr. Woolen
Caun't Speak The Language
A Clerk May Look At A Celebrity
Connubial Felicity
A Conqueror's Attack
Cramis, Patron Of Art
The Deceased
The Dessert Of Life
A Dip Into The Underworld
Epilogue: On Wearing A Hat
Every Inch A Man
Fame: A Story Of American Literature
The Fish Reporter
The Forgetful Tailor
Former Tenant Of His Room
Fragrant With Perfume
A Friend, Indeed
Going To Art Exhibitions
The Hair Cut That Went To My Head
Hair That Is Scenery
Help Wanted--Male, Female
Henry James, Himself
His Business Is Good
The Hotel Guest
A Human Cash Register
Human Municipal Documents
A Humorist Misfits At A Murder Trial
A Humorist's Note-Book
Humours Op The Book Shop
Hunting Lodgings
I Know An Editor
Ida's Amazing Surprise
An Idiosyncrasy
Including Studies Of Traffic "Cops"
It Stands To Reason
Literary Levities In Londow
Literary Lives
Memories Of A Manuscript
Much Married Stratford
My Friend, The Policeman
A Nice Man
A Nice Taste In Murders
No Snob
No System At All To The Human System
Nosing 'round Washington
Not Gullible, Not He
An Old Fogy
On Going A Journey
Only She Was There
Our Last Social Engagement As A Fine Art
Our Steeplejack Of The Seven Arts
Prologue: On Carrying A Cane
Queer Thing, 'bout Undertakers' Shops
Reading After Thirty
Recollections Of Landladies
A Roundabout Paper
Seeing Mr. Chesterton
Seeing The "Situations Wanted" Scene
The Sexless Camera
Snapshots In X-Ray
So Very Theatrical
Taking The Air In San Francisco
Talk At The Post Office
A Testimonial
That Reviewer "Cuss"
Three Words About Literature
A Three-Ringed Circus
A Town Constitutional
The Unusualness Of Parisian Philadelphia
When Is A Great City A Small Village?
When The Train Comes In
Why Men Can't Read Novels By Women
Wouldn't Look At Him
Writing In Rooms