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Essay(s) by Robert Cortes Holliday
A Human Cash Register
Robert Cortes Holliday
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       Across the table from a lodger sits Mr. Fife. Mr. Fife is a clerk. This statement comprises, not inadequately, his memoirs.
       When a man speaks to you of the useful piece of mechanism called a cash register, you comprehend him perfectly. You know what a cash register is, for what purpose it was designed, how it looks, how much approximately it is worth, what it will perform, and what it will remain--a cash register. A cash register could not have been born a toy balloon, spent its youth as a bicycle, been educated as a pulpit, have imprudently married a footlight, been forced to obtain employment as a cash register, but cherishes a secret ambition to be a typewriter and solace itself in turn as a violin, a mug of ale, and a tobacco pipe. A lodger does not say that Mr. Fife is no better in any way than a cash register. A mother nursed him at her breast, watched him as he slept; he was somebody's baby. A grown man was strangely moved, probably, when he was born. He played somewhere as a child. Dirty little brothers and sisters, perhaps, were his. He was spanked and had diseases and suffered and was frightened and rejoiced. Hearts have been glad when he was near. One or two little girls, no doubt, have admired him very much. Some woman, probably somewhere, admires him still. A lodger does not say that Mr. Fife has no inner life. He does not say that the forces of existence constantly, ceaselessly beating in on this man (or rather clerk) are not here slowly, inevitably shaping a moral character, this way or that. But as this human life sits here at Mrs. Wigger's board a clerk is here, with his past and his future.
       Mr. Fife has a "furnished room" somewhere around on the next street, and only takes his meals at Mrs. Wigger's.
       [The end]
       Robert Cortes Holliday's essay: Human Cash Register
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本书目录

"You Are An American"
As To Office Boys
As To People
Bachelor Reminiscences
Barber Shops Awesome
Bidding Mr. Chesterton Good-Bye
The Case Of Mr. Woolen
Caun't Speak The Language
A Clerk May Look At A Celebrity
Connubial Felicity
A Conqueror's Attack
Cramis, Patron Of Art
The Deceased
The Dessert Of Life
A Dip Into The Underworld
Epilogue: On Wearing A Hat
Every Inch A Man
Fame: A Story Of American Literature
The Fish Reporter
The Forgetful Tailor
Former Tenant Of His Room
Fragrant With Perfume
A Friend, Indeed
Going To Art Exhibitions
The Hair Cut That Went To My Head
Hair That Is Scenery
Help Wanted--Male, Female
Henry James, Himself
His Business Is Good
The Hotel Guest
A Human Cash Register
Human Municipal Documents
A Humorist Misfits At A Murder Trial
A Humorist's Note-Book
Humours Op The Book Shop
Hunting Lodgings
I Know An Editor
Ida's Amazing Surprise
An Idiosyncrasy
Including Studies Of Traffic "Cops"
It Stands To Reason
Literary Levities In Londow
Literary Lives
Memories Of A Manuscript
Much Married Stratford
My Friend, The Policeman
A Nice Man
A Nice Taste In Murders
No Snob
No System At All To The Human System
Nosing 'round Washington
Not Gullible, Not He
An Old Fogy
On Going A Journey
Only She Was There
Our Last Social Engagement As A Fine Art
Our Steeplejack Of The Seven Arts
Prologue: On Carrying A Cane
Queer Thing, 'bout Undertakers' Shops
Reading After Thirty
Recollections Of Landladies
A Roundabout Paper
Seeing Mr. Chesterton
Seeing The "Situations Wanted" Scene
The Sexless Camera
Snapshots In X-Ray
So Very Theatrical
Taking The Air In San Francisco
Talk At The Post Office
A Testimonial
That Reviewer "Cuss"
Three Words About Literature
A Three-Ringed Circus
A Town Constitutional
The Unusualness Of Parisian Philadelphia
When Is A Great City A Small Village?
When The Train Comes In
Why Men Can't Read Novels By Women
Wouldn't Look At Him
Writing In Rooms