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Chicot the Jester
Chapter 9. How The Angel Made A Mistake And Spoke To Chicot...
Alexandre Dumas
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       _ CHAPTER IX. HOW THE ANGEL MADE A MISTAKE AND SPOKE TO CHICOT, THINKING IT WAS THE KING
       The king and Chicot remained thus for some time. All at once the king jumped up in his bed. Chicot woke at the noise.
       "What is it?" asked he in a low voice.
       "The breath on my face."
       As he spoke, one of the wax lights went out, then the other, and the rest followed. Then the lamp also went out, and the room was lighted only by the rays of the moon. At the same moment they heard a hollow voice, saying, apparently from the end of the room,--
       "Hardened sinner, art thou there?"
       "Yes," said Henri, with chattering teeth.
       "Oh!" thought Chicot, "that is a very hoarse voice to come from heaven; nevertheless, it is dreadful."
       "Do you hear?" asked the voice.
       "Yes, and I am bowed down to the earth."
       "Do you believe you obeyed me by all the exterior mummeries which you performed yesterday, without your heart being touched?"
       "Very well said," thought Chicot. He approached the king softly.
       "Do you believe now?" asked the king, with clasped hands.
       "Wait."
       "What for?"
       "Hush! leave your bed quietly, and let me get in."
       "Why?"
       "That the anger of the Lord may fall first on me."
       "Do you think He will spare me for that?"
       "Let us try," and he pushed the king gently out and got into his place.
       "Now, go to my chair, and leave all to me."
       Henri obeyed; he began to understand.
       "You do not reply," said the voice; "you are hardened in sin."
       "Oh! pardon! pardon!" cried Chicot, imitating the king's voice. Then he whispered to Henri, "It is droll that the angel does not know me."
       "What can it mean?"
       "Wait."
       "Wretch!" said the voice.
       "Yes, I confess," said Chicot; "I am a hardened sinner, a dreadful sinner."
       "Then acknowledge your crimes, and repent."
       "I acknowledge to have been a great traitor to my cousin Conde, whose wife I seduced."
       "Oh! hush," said the king, "that is so long ago."
       "I acknowledge," continued Chicot, "to have been a great rogue to the Poles, who chose me for king, and whom I abandoned one night, carrying away the crown jewels. I repent of this."
       "Ah!" whispered Henri again: "that is all forgotten."
       "Hush! let me speak."
       "Go on," said the voice.
       "I acknowledge having stolen the crown from my brother D'Alencon, to whom it belonged of right, as I had formerly renounced it on accepting the crown of Poland."
       "Knave!" said the king.
       "Go on," said the voice.
       "I acknowledge having joined my mother, to chase from France my brother-in-law, the King of Navarre, after having destroyed all his friends."
       "Ah!" whispered the king, angrily.
       "Sire, do not let us offend God, by trying to hide what He knows as well as we do."
       "Leave politics," said the voice.
       "Ah!" cried Chicot, with a doleful voice, "is it my private life I am to speak of?"
       "Yes."
       "I acknowledge, then, that I am effeminate, idle, and hypocritical."
       "It is true."
       "I have ill-treated my wife--such a worthy woman."
       "One ought to love one's wife as one's self, and prefer her to all things," said the voice, angrily.
       "Ah!" cried Chicot, "then I have sinned deeply."
       "And you have made others sin by your example."
       "It is true."
       "Especially that poor St. Luc; and if you do not send him home to-morrow to his wife, there will be no pardon for you."
       "Ah!" said Chicot to the king, "the voice seems to be friendly to the house of Cosse."
       "And you must make him a duke, to recompense him for his forced stay."
       "Peste!" said Chicot; "the angel is much interested for M. de St. Luc."
       "Oh!" cried the king, without listening, "this voice from on high will kill me."
       "Voice from the side, you mean," said Chicot.
       "How I voice from the side?"
       "Yes; can you not hear that the voice comes from that wall, Henri?--the angel lodges in the Louvre."
       "Blasphemer!"
       "Why, it is honorable for you; but you do not seem to recognize it. Go and visit him; he is only separated from you by that partition."
       A ray of the moon falling on Chicot's face, showed it to the king so laughing and amused, that he said, "What! you dare to laugh?"
       "Yes, and so will you in a minute. Be reasonable, and do as I tell you. Go and see if the angel be not in the next room."
       "But if he speak again?"
       "Well, I am here to answer. He is vastly credulous. For the last quarter of an hour I have been talking, and he has not recognized me. It is not clever!"
       Henri frowned. "I begin to believe you are right, Chicot," said he.
       "Go, then."
       Henri opened softly the door which led into the corridor. He had scarcely entered it, when he heard the voice redoubling its reproaches, and Chicot replying.
       "Yes," said the voice, "you are as inconstant as a woman, as soft as a Sybarite, as irreligious as a heathen."
       "Oh!" whined Chicot, "is it my fault if I have such a soft skin--such white hands--such a changeable mind? But from to-day I will alter--I will wear coarse linen----"
       However, as Henri advanced, he found that Chicot's voice grew fainter, and the other louder, and that it seemed to come from St. Luc's room, in which he could see a light. He stooped down and peeped through the keyhole, and immediately grew pale with anger.
       "Par la mordieu!" murmured he, "is it possible that they have dared to play such a trick?"
       This is what he saw through the keyhole. St. Luc, in a dressing-gown, was roaring through a tube the words which he had found so dreadful, and beside him, leaning on his shoulder, was a lady in white, who every now and then took the tube from him, and called through something herself, while stifled bursts of laughter accompanied each sentence of Chicot's, who continued to answer in a doleful tone.
       "Jeanne de Cosse in St. Luc's room! A hole in the wall! such a trick on me! Oh! they shall pay dearly for it!". And with a vigorous kick he burst open the door.
       Jeanne rushed behind the curtains to hide herself, while St. Luc, his face full of terror, fell on his knees before the king, who was pale with rage.
       "Ah!" cried Chicot, from the bed, "Ah! mercy!--Holy Virgin! I am dying!"
       Henri, seizing, in a transport of rage, the trumpet from the hands of St. Luc, raised it as if to strike. But St. Luc jumped up and cried--
       "Sire, I am a gentleman; you have no right to strike me!"
       Henri dashed the trumpet violently on the ground. Some one picked it up; it was Chicot, who, hearing the noise, judged that his presence was necessary as a mediator. He ran to the curtain, and, drawing out poor Jeanne, all trembling--
       "Oh!" said he, "Adam and Eve after the Fall. You send them away, Henri, do you not?"
       "Yes."
       "Then I will be the exterminating angel."
       And throwing himself between, the king and St. Luc, and waving the trumpet over the heads of the guilty couple, said--
       "This is my Paradise, which you have lost by your disobedience; I forbid you to return to it."
       Then he whispered to St. Luc, who had his arm round his wife--
       "If you have a good horse, kill it, but be twenty leagues from here before to-morrow." _
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本书目录

Chapter 1. The Wedding Of St. Luc
Chapter 2. How It Is Not Always He Who Opens The Door, Who Enters The House
Chapter 3. How It Is Sometimes Difficult To Distinguish A Dream From The Reality
Chapter 4. How Madame De St. Luc Had Passed The Night
Chapter 5. How Madame De St. Luc Passed The Second Night Of Her Marriage
Chapter 6. Le Petit Coucher Of Henri III
Chapter 7. How, Without Any One Knowing Why, The King Was Converted...
Chapter 8. How The King Was Afraid Of Being Afraid
Chapter 9. How The Angel Made A Mistake And Spoke To Chicot...
Chapter 10. How Bussy Went To Seek For The Reality Of His Dream
Chapter 11. M. Bryan De Monsoreau
Chapter 12. How Bussy Found Both The Portrait And The Original
Chapter 13. Who Diana Was
Chapter 14. The Treaty
Chapter 15. The Marriage
Chapter 16. The Marriage
Chapter 17. How Henri III Traveled...
Chapter 18. Brother Gorenflot
Chapter 19. How Chicot Found Out That It Was Easier To Go In Than Out Of The Abbey
Chapter 20. How Chicot, Forced To Remain In The Abbey...
Chapter 21. How Chicot Learned Genealogy
Chapter 22. How M. And Madame De St. Luc Met With A Traveling Companion
Chapter 23. The Old Man
Chapter 24. How Remy-Le-Haudouin Had...
Chapter 25. The Father And Daughter
Chapter 26. How Brother Gorenflot Awoke, And The Reception He Met With At His Convent
Chapter 27. How Brother Gorenflot Remained Convinced...
Chapter 28. How Brother Gorenflot Traveled Upon An Ass...
Chapter 29. How Brother Gorenflot Changed His Ass For A Mule...
Chapter 30. How Chicot And His Companion Installed Themselves At The Hotel...
Chapter 31. How The Monk Confessed The Advocate...
Chapter 32. How Chicot Used His Sword
Chapter 33. How The Duc D'anjou Learned That Diana Was Not Dead
Chapter 34. How Chicot Returned To The Louvre...
Chapter 35. What Passed Between M. De Monsoreau And The Duke
Chapter 36. Chicot And The King
Chapter 37. What M. De Guise Came To Do At The Louvre
Chapter 38. Castor And Pollux
Chapter 39. Which It Is Proved That Listening Is The Best Way To Hear
Chapter 40. The Evening Of The League
Chapter 41. The Rue De La Ferronnerie
Chapter 42. The Prince And The Friend
Chapter 43. Etymology Of The Rue De La Jussienne
Chapter 44. How D'epernon Had His Doublet Torn...
Chapter 45. Chicot More Than Ever King Of France
Chapter 46. How Chicot Paid A Visit To Bussy, And What Followed
Chapter 47. The Chess Of M. Chicot, And The Cup And Ball Of M. Quelus
Chapter 48. The Reception Of The Chiefs Of The League
Chapter 49. How The King N Axed...
Chapter 50. Eteocles And Polynices
Chapter 51. How People Do Not Always Lose Their Time By Searching Empty Drawers
Chapter 52. Ventre St. Gris
Chapter 53. The Friends
Chapter 54. Bussy And Diana
Chapter 55. How Bussy Was Offered Three Hundred Pistoles For His Horse...
Chapter 56. The Diplomacy Of The Duc D'anjou
Chapter 57. The Ideas Of The Duc D'anjou
Chapter 58. A Flight Of Angevins
Chapter 59. Roland
Chapter 60. What M. De Monsoreau Came To Announce
Chapter 61. How The King Learned The Flight Of His Beloved Brother...
Chapter 62. How, As Chicot And The Queen Mother Were Agreed...
Chapter 63. In Which It Is Proved That Gratitude Was One Of St. Luc's Virtues
Chapter 64. The Project Of M. De St. Luc
Chapter 65. How M. De St. Luc Showed M. De Monsoreau The Thrust...
Chapter 66. In Which We See The Queen-Mother...
Chapter 67. Little Causes And Great Effects
Chapter 68. How M. De Monsoreau Opened And Shut His Eyes...
Chapter 69. How M. Le Duc D'anjou Went To Meridor...
Chapter 70. The Inconvenience Of Large Litters And Narrow Doors
Chapter 71. What Temper The King Was In When St. Luc Reappeared At The Louvre
Chapter 72. In Which We Meet Two Important Personages...
Chapter 73. Diana's Second Journey To Paris
Chapter 74. How The Ambassador Of The Duc D'anjou Arrived At The Louvre...
Chapter 75. Which Is Only The End Of The Preceding One
Chapter 76. How M. De St. Luc Acquitted Himself...
Chapter 77. In What Respect M. De St. Luc Was More Civilized...
Chapter 78. The Precautions Of M. De Monsoreau
Chapter 79. A Visit To The House At Les Tournelles
Chapter 80. The Watchers
Chapter 81. How M. Le Duc D'anjou Signed, And After Having Signed, Spoke
Chapter 82. A Promenade At The Tournelles
Chapter 83. In Which Chicot Sleeps
Chapter 84. Where Chicot Wakes
Chapter 85. The Fete Dieu
Chapter 86. Which Will Elucidate The Previous Chapter
Chapter 87. The Procession
Chapter 88. Chicot The First
Chapter 89. Interest And Capital
Chapter 90. What Was Passing Near The Bastile...
Chapter 91. The Assassination
Chapter 92. How Brother Gorenflot Found Himself More...
Chapter 93. Where Chicot Guesses Why D'epernon Had Blood On His Feet...
Chapter 94. The Morning Of The Combat
Chapter 95. The Friends Of Bussy
Chapter 96. The Combat
Chapter 97. The End