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Chicot the Jester
Chapter 31. How The Monk Confessed The Advocate...
Alexandre Dumas
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       _ CHAPTER XXXI. HOW THE MONK CONFESSED THE ADVOCATE, AND THE ADVOCATE THE MONK
       At last M. Bernouillet came into Chicot's room, laughing immoderately.
       "He is dying," said he, "and the man has arrived from Avignon."
       "Have you seen him?"
       "Of course."
       "What is he like?"
       "Little and thin."
       "It is he," thought Chicot; and he said, "Tell me about his arrival."
       "An hour ago I was in the kitchen, when I saw a great horse, ridden by a little man, stop before the door. 'Is M. Nicolas here?' asked he. 'Yes, monsieur,' said I. 'Tell him that the person he expects from Avignon is here.' 'Certainly, monsieur, but I must warn you that he is very ill.' 'All the more reason for doing my bidding at once.' 'But he has a malignant fever.' 'Oh, pray, then, be quick!' 'How! you persist?' 'I persist.' 'In spite of the danger!' 'In spite of everything I must see him.' So I took him to the room, and there he is now. Is it not odd?"
       "Very droll."
       "I wish I could hear them."
       "Go in."
       "He forbade me to go in, saying he was going to confess."
       "Listen at the door."
       Bernouillet went, and Chicot went also to his hole: but they spoke so low that he could hear nothing, and in a few minutes Gondy rose and took leave. Chicot ran to the window, and saw a lackey waiting with a horse, which M. de Gondy mounted and rode off.
       "If he only has not carried off the genealogy. Never mind, I shall soon catch him if necessary; but I suspect it is left here. Where can Gorenflot be?"
       M. Bernouillet returned, saying, "He is gone."
       "The confessor?"
       "He is no more a confessor than I am."
       "Will you send me my brother as soon as he comes in."
       "Even if he be drunk?"
       "Whatever state he is in."
       Bernouillet went, and Chicot remained in a state of indecision as to what to do, for he thought, "If David is really so ill, he may have sent on the despatches by Gondy." Presently he heard Gorenflot's voice, singing a drinking song as he came up the stairs.
       "Silence, drunkard!" said Chicot.
       "Drunkard, indeed!"
       "Yes; but come here and speak seriously, if you can."
       "What is it now?"
       "It is, that you never think of the duties of your profession, that you wallow in greediness and drunkenness, and let religion go where it pleases."
       Gorenflot looked astonished. "I!" he gasped.
       "Yes, you; you are disgraceful to see; you are covered with mud; you have been drunk in the streets."
       "It is too true!"
       "If you go on so, I will abandon you."
       "Chicot, my friend, you will not do that? Am I very guilty?"
       "There are archers at Lyons."
       "Oh, pity! my dear protector, pity!"
       "Are you a Christian or not?"
       "I not a Christian!"
       "Then do not let a neighbor die without confession."
       "I am ready, but I must drink first, for I am thirsty."
       Chicot passed him a jug of water, which he emptied.
       "Now who am I to confess?"
       "Our unlucky neighbor who is dying."
       "Let them give him a pint of wine with honey in it."
       "He needs spiritual aid as well as temporal. Go to him."
       "Am I fit?" said Gorenflot, timidly.
       "Perfectly."
       "Then I will go."
       "Stay; I must tell you what to do."
       "Oh! I know."
       "You do not know what I wish."
       "What you wish?"
       "If you execute it well, I will give you one hundred pistoles to spend here."
       "What must I do?"
       "Listen; your robe gives you authority; in the name of God and the King, summon him to give up the papers he has just received from Avignon."
       "What for?"
       "To gain one hundred pistoles, stupid."
       "Ah! true; I go."
       "Wait a minute. He will tell you he has confessed."
       "But if he has?"
       "Tell him he lies; that the man who has just left him is no confessor, but an intriguer like himself."
       "But he will be angry."
       "What does that matter, since he is dying?"
       "True."
       "Well; one way or the other, you must get hold of those papers."
       "If he refuses?"
       "Refuse him absolution, curse him, anathematize him----"
       "Oh, I will take them by force."
       "Good; and when you have got them, knock on the wall."
       "And if I cannot get them?"
       "Knock also."
       "Then, in any case I am to knock?"
       "Yes."
       Gorenflot went, and Chicot placed his ear to the hole in the wall. When Gorenflot entered, the sick man raised himself in his bed, and looked at him with wonder.
       "Good day, brother," said Gorenflot.
       "What do you want, my father?" murmured the sick man, in a feeble voice.
       "My son, I hear you are in danger, and I come to speak to you of your soul."
       "Thank you, but I think your care is needless; I feel better."
       "You think so?"
       "I am sure of it."
       "It is a ruse of Satan, who wishes you to die without confession."
       "Then he will be deceived, for I have just confessed."
       "To whom?"
       "To a worthy priest from Avignon."
       "He was not a priest."
       "Not!"
       "No."
       "How do you know?"
       "I knew him."
       "You knew the man who has just gone?"
       "Yes; and as you are not better, and this man was not a priest, you must confess."
       "Very well," replied the patient, in a stronger voice, "but I will chose to whom I will confess."
       "You will have no time to send for another priest, and I am here."
       "How! no time, when I tell you I am getting well?"
       Gorenflot shook his head. "I tell you, my son, you are condemned by the doctors and by Providence; you may think it cruel to tell you so, but it is what we must all come to sooner or later. Confess, my son, confess."
       "But I assure you, father, that I feel much stronger."
       "A mistake, my son, the lamp flares up at the last, just before it goes out. Come, confess all your plots, your intrigues, and machinations!"
       "My intrigues and plots!" cried David, frightened at this singular monk, whom he did not know, but who seemed to know him so well.
       "Yes; and when you have told all that, give me up the papers, and perhaps God will let me absolve you."
       "What papers?" cried the sick man, in a voice as strong as though he were quite well.
       "The papers that the pretended priest brought you from Avignon."
       "And who told you that he brought me papers?" cried the patient, putting one leg out of bed.
       Gorenflot began to feel frightened, but he said firmly, "He who told me knew well what he was saying; give me the papers, or you shall have no absolution."
       "I laugh at your absolution," cried David, jumping out of bed, and seizing Gorenflot by the throat, "and you shall see if I am too ill to strangle you."
       Gorenflot was strong, and he pushed David back so violently that he fell into the middle of the room. But he rose furious, and seizing a long sword, which hung on the wall behind his clothes, presented it to the throat of Gorenflot, who sank on a chair in terror.
       "It is now your turn to confess," said he, "speak, or you die."
       "Oh!" cried Gorenflot, "then you are not ill--not dying."
       "It is not for you to question, but to answer."
       "To answer what?"
       "Who are you?"
       "You can see that."
       "Your name?"
       "Brother Gorenflot."
       "You are then a real monk?"
       "I should think so."
       "What brings you to Lyons?"
       "I am exiled."
       "What brought you to this inn?"
       "Chance."
       "How long have you been here?"
       "A fortnight."
       "Why did you watch me?"
       "I did not."
       "How did you know that I had the papers?"
       "Because I was told so."
       "Who told you?"
       "He who sent me here."
       "Who was that?"
       "I cannot tell you."
       "You must."
       "Oh! oh! I will cry out."
       "And I will kill."
       Gorenflot cried out, and a spot of blood appeared on the point of the sword.
       "His name?" cried David.
       "Oh! I can hold out no more."
       "Speak."
       "It was Chicot."
       "The king's jester!"
       "Himself."
       "And where is he?"
       "Here!" cried a voice, and Chicot appeared at the door with a drawn sword in his hand. _
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本书目录

Chapter 1. The Wedding Of St. Luc
Chapter 2. How It Is Not Always He Who Opens The Door, Who Enters The House
Chapter 3. How It Is Sometimes Difficult To Distinguish A Dream From The Reality
Chapter 4. How Madame De St. Luc Had Passed The Night
Chapter 5. How Madame De St. Luc Passed The Second Night Of Her Marriage
Chapter 6. Le Petit Coucher Of Henri III
Chapter 7. How, Without Any One Knowing Why, The King Was Converted...
Chapter 8. How The King Was Afraid Of Being Afraid
Chapter 9. How The Angel Made A Mistake And Spoke To Chicot...
Chapter 10. How Bussy Went To Seek For The Reality Of His Dream
Chapter 11. M. Bryan De Monsoreau
Chapter 12. How Bussy Found Both The Portrait And The Original
Chapter 13. Who Diana Was
Chapter 14. The Treaty
Chapter 15. The Marriage
Chapter 16. The Marriage
Chapter 17. How Henri III Traveled...
Chapter 18. Brother Gorenflot
Chapter 19. How Chicot Found Out That It Was Easier To Go In Than Out Of The Abbey
Chapter 20. How Chicot, Forced To Remain In The Abbey...
Chapter 21. How Chicot Learned Genealogy
Chapter 22. How M. And Madame De St. Luc Met With A Traveling Companion
Chapter 23. The Old Man
Chapter 24. How Remy-Le-Haudouin Had...
Chapter 25. The Father And Daughter
Chapter 26. How Brother Gorenflot Awoke, And The Reception He Met With At His Convent
Chapter 27. How Brother Gorenflot Remained Convinced...
Chapter 28. How Brother Gorenflot Traveled Upon An Ass...
Chapter 29. How Brother Gorenflot Changed His Ass For A Mule...
Chapter 30. How Chicot And His Companion Installed Themselves At The Hotel...
Chapter 31. How The Monk Confessed The Advocate...
Chapter 32. How Chicot Used His Sword
Chapter 33. How The Duc D'anjou Learned That Diana Was Not Dead
Chapter 34. How Chicot Returned To The Louvre...
Chapter 35. What Passed Between M. De Monsoreau And The Duke
Chapter 36. Chicot And The King
Chapter 37. What M. De Guise Came To Do At The Louvre
Chapter 38. Castor And Pollux
Chapter 39. Which It Is Proved That Listening Is The Best Way To Hear
Chapter 40. The Evening Of The League
Chapter 41. The Rue De La Ferronnerie
Chapter 42. The Prince And The Friend
Chapter 43. Etymology Of The Rue De La Jussienne
Chapter 44. How D'epernon Had His Doublet Torn...
Chapter 45. Chicot More Than Ever King Of France
Chapter 46. How Chicot Paid A Visit To Bussy, And What Followed
Chapter 47. The Chess Of M. Chicot, And The Cup And Ball Of M. Quelus
Chapter 48. The Reception Of The Chiefs Of The League
Chapter 49. How The King N Axed...
Chapter 50. Eteocles And Polynices
Chapter 51. How People Do Not Always Lose Their Time By Searching Empty Drawers
Chapter 52. Ventre St. Gris
Chapter 53. The Friends
Chapter 54. Bussy And Diana
Chapter 55. How Bussy Was Offered Three Hundred Pistoles For His Horse...
Chapter 56. The Diplomacy Of The Duc D'anjou
Chapter 57. The Ideas Of The Duc D'anjou
Chapter 58. A Flight Of Angevins
Chapter 59. Roland
Chapter 60. What M. De Monsoreau Came To Announce
Chapter 61. How The King Learned The Flight Of His Beloved Brother...
Chapter 62. How, As Chicot And The Queen Mother Were Agreed...
Chapter 63. In Which It Is Proved That Gratitude Was One Of St. Luc's Virtues
Chapter 64. The Project Of M. De St. Luc
Chapter 65. How M. De St. Luc Showed M. De Monsoreau The Thrust...
Chapter 66. In Which We See The Queen-Mother...
Chapter 67. Little Causes And Great Effects
Chapter 68. How M. De Monsoreau Opened And Shut His Eyes...
Chapter 69. How M. Le Duc D'anjou Went To Meridor...
Chapter 70. The Inconvenience Of Large Litters And Narrow Doors
Chapter 71. What Temper The King Was In When St. Luc Reappeared At The Louvre
Chapter 72. In Which We Meet Two Important Personages...
Chapter 73. Diana's Second Journey To Paris
Chapter 74. How The Ambassador Of The Duc D'anjou Arrived At The Louvre...
Chapter 75. Which Is Only The End Of The Preceding One
Chapter 76. How M. De St. Luc Acquitted Himself...
Chapter 77. In What Respect M. De St. Luc Was More Civilized...
Chapter 78. The Precautions Of M. De Monsoreau
Chapter 79. A Visit To The House At Les Tournelles
Chapter 80. The Watchers
Chapter 81. How M. Le Duc D'anjou Signed, And After Having Signed, Spoke
Chapter 82. A Promenade At The Tournelles
Chapter 83. In Which Chicot Sleeps
Chapter 84. Where Chicot Wakes
Chapter 85. The Fete Dieu
Chapter 86. Which Will Elucidate The Previous Chapter
Chapter 87. The Procession
Chapter 88. Chicot The First
Chapter 89. Interest And Capital
Chapter 90. What Was Passing Near The Bastile...
Chapter 91. The Assassination
Chapter 92. How Brother Gorenflot Found Himself More...
Chapter 93. Where Chicot Guesses Why D'epernon Had Blood On His Feet...
Chapter 94. The Morning Of The Combat
Chapter 95. The Friends Of Bussy
Chapter 96. The Combat
Chapter 97. The End